Week of Money: Where I start on my YouTube Channel

Editor’s Note: I was going through some personal issues, so there are 2 weeks missing from this instalment as I haven’t been able to muster any energy to write. I will have to make up for it with some other posts for the next while until I catch up again.

That said, my newest YouTube video and the longest one yet I’ve created to date about whether Designer Jeans are Worth It, just dropped.

DAY ONE

??:?? — I wake up from Little Bun kicking me and crying.

??:?? — He’s screaming now. He must be reliving his day, where we scolded him a few times because he JUST WON’T BLOODY LISTEN. I told him not to run his fingers over the stove when he is playing (he likes to play this game where he pretends his fingers are astronauts who fly around and walk over things), and I told him we could have JUST finished boiling or cooking something and the stove top is still hot, and he could burn his fingers.

He didn’t listen. At least 3 times, and then I yelled at him, and then he felt bad. But I am trying to save my yelling for serious things like this, like burning your fingers, or getting killed. For smaller things, I am trying not to sweat it, but I do yell at him / scold him after trying 3 times to ask him nicely, when he doesn’t listen.

7:03 a.m. — My partner heads out to run errands early, and he has his own schooling starting soon, with Zoom classes and so on, so I will be doing half of Little Bun’s schooling during these times, and he will take on the other half for languages, and arts. There isn’t much we need to teach him at this point for Grade One, he already knows more than what he needs to for this grade, but we will push him on subjects he already knows well such as math, as he is now on the cusp of Grade Three.

7:59 a.m. — I clean the entire kitchen, start a load of laundry, and start going through my checklist of things to get done.

8:30 a.m. — I have to gather documents for homeschooling, do a learning plan, and also my own personal finances, like paying my bills and checking my statements. All of which I need complete silence for, so I can think and make sure I don’t schedule things on the wrong dates.

9:17 a.m. — Little Bun sees that Brain Test 2 has a new level update and eagerly plays that. He loves these little games, and I am also on the hunt to try and find more French story apps or videos, as well as some coding apps for children that he might find fun.

10:05 a.m. — I spend part of the morning recording more style / accessory videos for my YouTube Channel Save. Spend. Splurge. I post every Thursday.

12:08 p.m. — I eat lunch, my new thing is sesame oil, a bit of salt, pasta, and lots of cheese. Not sure why I love this flavour but it’s an exciting new flavour for me.

1:04 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for a nap obediently because his father promised him ‘cake’ if he napped (really, it’s raisin bread, he’s being fooled…!) I spend the time working on updating the blog – a lot of things have been neglected and I am working on fixing the connections to social media accounts, and I also start reading more books (my new resolution).

3:00 p.m. — On the dot, he knocks to be let out. And my partner says he smelled cake. We laugh.

3:28 p.m. — I download a few more coding apps for Little Bun to try – I am trying out LightBot and Daisy Dinosaur. He needs more for a challenge for coding in general, so I need something that challenges him. I’m also looking into moving him into basic Javascript coding by the end of this year maybe, starting with these apps, and then shifting him into actual code.

4:16 p.m. — I am obsessed with this look. I want this sweater, I want this shirt, this bag, the rings, the cuffs. I am sure I can recreate this easily. I just don’t have matching gold cuffs however. I will work on getting another pair of Stella and Dot cuffs maybe so I can do this.

4:50 p.m. — What a flippin’ aggravating book – I Owe You One. The heroine was a doormat and I just got so incredibly annoyed. I guess it stands to reason, she only had a real hit with the Shopaholic series and Can you Keep a Secret, but the rest of her books have been disappointments for me. Why the heck are the reviews so high for this?

4:50 p.m. — Little Bun eagerly sits at the counter and eats his raisin bread slice that stuck to the bottom of the pan, and his father saved for him. He has to eat his dinner first before having any more, but since his father promised him some raisin bread IF HE NAPPED, and he DID nap, he was quite distraught when I told him to eat his soup first, because it was changing the ‘rule’ his father had set earlier, and he got upset.

5:16 p.m. — Little Bun watches “Helpsters” which is a fantastic show for little children. The songs are also pretty good, my favourite one is with Shaggy (yes really) called Sidewalks. And this one about Elevators with Jason Mraz is nice too. I have officially turned into a mother, now that I really enjoy some children’s music…

6:23 p.m. — I have dinner, and then do all the dishes as Little Bun and his father head out to the balcony to colour with sidewalk chalk and play.

7:03 p.m. — Drying all the dishes, I finish the laundry as well.

8:03 p.m. — I work on getting Little Bun to “Number One” for Squares in this addictive app called Two Dots ( don’t blame me if you get hooked ), and then we read books and get ready for bed, after he does his reading routine and tooth brushing with Daddy.

Spent: $0

DAY TWO

??:?? — I wake up with Little Bun crawling on top, squealing his baby noises that sound like “wheee.. mee mee meee” (noises he thinks babies make), and then I snuggle his (heavy) little boy body and kiss him.

??:?? — I check the fridge. No milk. I go back and offer him a choice: Do you want yoghurt for breakfast or for after nap? There’s only one bottle of milk left. He decides on yoghurt and runs out.

6:00 a.m. — I go through and organize my desk, and make myself some tea, and try to get through my list of things to get done for today.

8:16 a.m. — Then we head into the bedroom as my partner starts cooking huge batches of tomato sauce for pizza. He bought a big box of tomatoes, and cooked it down, and it took him 4 hours to turn a big box of tomatoes into one simmering pot of sauce which he will now package and freeze to use for the upcoming winter. he does this yearly.

12:45 p.m. — We have lunch with the fresh tomato sauce he made, with cheese, and pasta.. and Little Bun then goes into the bedroom for a nap.

1:57 p.m. — I go through and organize my videos, uploading them to my Youtube channel.

1:59 p.m. — Hah this is so cute. It reminds me of what Little Bun would be like. He is trying to look bigger and more dangerous, but he just looks CUTER…

2:08 p.m. — I go through my emails. I email so much stuff to myself – ideas, content, links, ideas… notes.. and I have over 50 I have to review.

3:00 p.m. — Little Bun is up, and I snuggle him after his milk, and then he bounces around the room like Tigger, asking what we should play and do. I am tired. I am not sure what I could do to be honest.

3:21 p.m. — Since 2 p.m., I managed to make it through 20 of my emails before Little Bun wears me down, and wiggles on my lap, then off my lap, then on again…

3:44 p.m. — I take a break and play with him.

4:15 p.m. — I feed him dinner, and then I feed myself dinner. I choke down the mashed potatoes, and tell my partner wearily I cannot eat any more mashed potatoes. I will vomit. This is hard enough to try and get through it.

5:01 p.m. — I go through my notes, and wait for my videos to upload – as they’re so large and of the highest quality possible (we’re talking 10 GB each video for YouTube), it has taken all morning and is only 75% done.

6:30 p.m. — Getting some great outfit inspo – all white and all black layered looks:

7:26 p.m. — I do all the dishes and clean the kitchen.

9:15 p.m. — The video finally uploads, and I am amazed at how long it took.

Spent: $0

DAY THREE

??:?? — Little Bun wakes me up. I could use another hour or so.

6:20 a.m. — I’ve been feeling extra tired lately. Not sure if it’s the stress and my body trying to get me to sleep it off, or if it’s COVID related or .. just general malaise.

7:23 a.m. — I make a cup of tea and spend it quietly with Little Bun who excitedly checks the scoreboard to make sure we are still number one. “We are going to CRUSH THEM Mommy…”

8:08 a.m. — We head into the bedroom while my partner cooks for the week, and I make up games with him, stories, he watches some of Emily’s Wonderlab but isn’t as into it as I thought he’d be. I think the little kids constantly saying “Emily knows so much!” is kind of annoying, to be honest. I’d like them to focus more on showing how this stuff works rather than talking about how great the show is, and he perhaps, has picked up on that….

9:11 a.m. — I doze off for about an hour while he plays his games, but don’t really feel refreshed, although I feel less fatigued.

12:08 p.m. — We have lunch, and then we watch a little Fraggle Rock (remember the show) on Apple TV+ – I have a free subscription for a year, that came with my mini iPad when I bought it.

1:07 p.m. — He goes down for his nap.

2:15 p.m. — I work on a few posts, but mostly just want a tea, some chocolate, and to read my books. I make a cup of Darjeeling tea (the Yuzu one that’s called Tokyo by Mariage Frères that I don’t personally love, but also don’t hate. I just happen to enjoy black tea much more.)

3:29 p.m. — Little Bun knocks on the door squealing: “YAYYYYY” and I go to get him because my partner is on Skype with a friend (with no dang notice, and I am only in a tank top and underwear… GGRRR WTF… and I run to the bathroom to put on shorts, throwing a cashmere shawl I have on my chair over my bottom half. I grab Little Bun by telling him that there’s no milk left, only yoghurt, and he runs out happily, holding my hand. I feed him a big bowl.

3:33 p.m. — I pop a small chocolate bar into my mouth and slowly savour it. I’ve been eating the whole bar all week. I may need to buy more.

5:15 p.m. — More chocolate.

5:40 p.m. — And more. I am almost done the bar. I decide to stop, and do the dishes.

7:34 p.m. — Dishes done, a million pots scrubbed and wiped, I go and take a long hot shower and also brush my teeth, which eliminates any chance of sugar or snacking after I am done. It’s a trick I do, to stop myself.

8:45 p.m. — I snuggle with Little Bun and get ready for bed with him after we read about Hydrogen in his elements book. We are going to go through an element a night, and discuss it after reading it. This book is great because it gives real-life examples of how the elements are used. I don’t find books or learning very interesting if I can’t tie it back to my own life. So if I hear that hydrogen is what 4/5ths of the sun is made up of, I can’t forget it because my brain considers it interesting.

9:11 p.m. — Little Bun insists on turning off the lights and talking about the outside. He spots a really bright star (Venus?) and I make a mental note to look it up tomorrow. I also make a note to read up on why the moon looks red and find out it’s from something called Rayleigh’s scattering where the longer wavelengths of light that are longer (red, orange) manage to make it through the atmosphere while blue and green gets filtered (shorter wavelengths) and make the moon look red as a result as it’s glow is really from the sun. I wonder how to explain this to Little Bun.

Spent: $0

DAY FOUR

??:?? — Little Bun squeals happily and curls into my side, to cuddle me, throwing a leg over my body. He does this every morning knowing I need a snuggle and a kiss to wake up.

??:?? — I could use another hour.

6:03 a.m. — I get up and grab yoghurt for him. I make myself tea.

7:30 a.m. — As promised, I am reading up on what that star could be, and it turns out it was MARS! And I google some other things, hoping we can spot them with the naked eye at night  in the bedroom.

8:11 a.m. — I check my list of things to do (not much, buy index funds in small amounts over time), and decide for his nap, if it isn’t raining, I will sit outside and read on my new balcony cushion (I bought a cheap one for $30 to sit on outside so my bum doesn’t hurt), and I plan on wrapping a blanket around myself, and really making the most of this balcony until snow falls.

8:15 a.m. — I already have one long vest so I am looking for other ways to wear it:

9:45 a.m. — I go through my closet, and start picking out 5-6 things I think I really have to resell as I don’t wear them even though I think I will. Take for instance navy blazers – I have two. I only wear one because I like the cut of it better (more of a shawl look).

10:15 a.m. — I read my book in between dozing in and out, while answering Little Bun’s random questions as he goes through apps on the iPad such as “what does bunch mean”? … or “What does convention mean?” He can read the words, but he doesn’t understand them.

12:28 p.m. — For lunch my partner tried grilling cauliflower but says he should have pre-cooked it a bit before because it was a bit too raw in the center. I don’t mind, I really like cauliflower and eating a new vegetable is a great thing in our household (my partner isn’t adventurous like I am.. and if he doesn’t like it, like beets which I love, he won’t cook it.)

5:16 p.m. — These homes are giving me all sorts of interesting ideas and vibes about my future home:

5:16 p.m. — I do all the dishes, realize that we are out of dry, clean kitchen towels, and pause with a whole mess of wet plates and things on the counter as I do laundry, and wait for it to dry.

7:34 p.m. — This is Little Bun’s dream car, he told me. He wanted a car with a horn in front like a unicorn.

7:46 p.m. — I dry all the dishes finally, and then leave the other ones I don’t want to bother drying (lids to Tupperware), on the counter.

8:16 p.m. — I go back to reading my book. I have been making a concerted effort to READ more when I feel the urge to mindlessly browse on Instagram instead, and have powered through 3 books in the past day or so as a result.

8:30 p.m. — We start on Little Bun’s routine – Reading time with Daddy, Brushing with Daddy, Reading time with Mommy, Mommy explains the Outside / Tells Stories of when Little Bun was a baby. While the Daddy stuff is happening, I’m usually also brushing my teeth if I didn’t do it earlier, or reading.

Spent: $0

DAY FIVE

??:?? — I wake up and could use another 45 minutes. The sky is all dark and it feels very early but it isn’t, it’s a normal Little Bun time. It’s just that it’s about to rain, and the barometric pressure of the atmosphere gives me these blinding headaches and feelings of fatigue and nausea, so much that my energy is sapped from the start.

6:20 a.m. — We play more Two Dots in the morning (our thing together) after he has his yoghurt.

6:51 a.m. — Hungry Bun asks for breakfast. He wants pasta so I reheat some, and add cheese.

7:25 a.m. — I end up winning a bid on my second Stella and Dot cuff so I can wear one on each wrist, and have them match. I paid $33 + $15 shipping, but none of it out of pocket (used credits): $0

Now I can recreate the look above with the two cuffs! But with a more softer touch, as it looks like gold lace.

8:08 a.m. — Little Bun plays some inane games on the iPad, and I inform him that today we have School Day and these things to do for school today:

• Read about 3 more Elements in the Periodic Table (we left off at Potassium) & discuss
• Do 2 math workbook pages in the Grade 3 –> 4 Book
• Learn the Canadian provinces & territories and capital cities – will find a blank map

I am taking it easy this year for Grade One for him, but I also don’t want to let this be a normal thing where we basically don’t do anything the whole day and he doesn’t attempt or learn anything of interest. I am slowly coming out of my own kind of blue, stress-induced funk from all the pressure (implied and non-existent) to try and fix everything for everyone and failing.

8:17 a.m. — Little Bun runs into the bedroom to wake his father up “WHEEEEE!!!!”…. and his father gets up. He’s the alarm clock now.

11:00 a.m. — I finish recording 2 videos (it took me 3 hours) for the channel I am starting. Now, the actual work of uploading, splicing, editing, and fixing the videos, and THEN uploading it properly to my YouTube Channel and adding descriptions happens.

Sometimes, video uploads just to edit them on my computer, can take up to an hour to transfer as I transfer it to Google Drive and then download it on my laptop (I haven’t found an easier, hassle free way to do this massive file transfer yet).

All in all, a video can either take 3 hours in total, or up to 9 hours from start to finish. I find it kind of cool / rewarding to learn how to video edit these things, and to add music, add new features, think of video edits to make it interesting as well.

12:08 p.m. — My partner made fries, and he usually uses this metal frame to filter the oil so he can reuse it again before it gets too dirty. The fries in this oil, if you don’t filter it, turn brown, as the bits in there burn. You can’t use the filters that come with it because it’s too flimsy and cannot hold the oil (he already tried), so instead, we also use an actual coffee filter and coffee filter papers that come with it instead:

It’s a lot of oil, so he does it in batches, and waits for it to filter through before pouring more in to clear it.

12:28 p.m. — Ta dah! He has been making omelettes lately because I mentioned how much I love them.

1:57 p.m. — I work on my posts for outfits. I am doing one every day at noon under this tag: #Style OOTD Fashion, instead of doing it on Instagram, so that I have a cache of looks, with links and so on. Then I gather up the summary of looks at the end of every month where you can now click on each image and it’ll take you to that detailed post with close-ups, etc. It’s MUCH better than on Instagram.

3:10 p.m. — I pick up some vintage Chanel perfume bottles online via Etsy. I’ve always liked the look of them and am thinking of simply displaying them in my closet, or using them as props. I think I’d also like to find a glass cut Chanel bottle, it would look nice. These bottles are MASSIVE by the way, it looks like a small lipstick bottle on the left, but it is nothing like. It’s more like the height of a full-sized perfume bottle but in this shape. $108.16

3:30 p.m. — I am reading a new book, and this excerpt really jumped out at me (Elin Hilderbrand – Silver Girl)

I know this is fiction, but it happens all the time to women. ALL THE TIME. Although I will caution to please not put your money in a CD earning a paltry 1.5% and invest it in index funds.

4:16 p.m. — “Mommy, a Yummy Mummy is a Mommy who is made out of salad, and she has balsamic vinegar, which is my favourite” … oh the innocence of children LOL… That’s absolutely not what the term means in our slang, but I will leave him to think that because he’s so sweet I cannot burst that bubble.

5:25 p.m. — And then Little Bun looks at me and says: “MOMMY! It’s time to vacuum!!“.. his energy is contagious and he is so incredibly excited to vacuum and use what he calls the “roo roo” which is the noise for an elephant in our household, and what he thinks the extendable hose attachment for the vacuum looks like. Every time he wants to vacuum, he says sweetly to me: “Mommy do you think we need to go get the roo roo to clean this corner? It’s so dirty!“.. he’s being sly because he just wants to play with the hose attachment. Haha.

7:58 p.m. — I do all the dishes, and when I go to quietly check on him, I exclaim in happiness: Are you reading by yourself!? … He tells me: Yes, I am reading by myself but with your voice in my head.

9:11 p.m. — Time for bed, and he sits on the ledge and tells me: “Mommy, tap to window wipe!”… and I “tap” his hand, and he wipes the window with his finger.  He creates a lot of games and interesting things with the items in the house, and makes us play them as if it’s an app on an iPad. We have to swipe, tap, solve Brain teasers he makes up (some are terrible lol)…

9:21 p.m. — He fishes out an old eyeshadow palette and tells me his favourite colour is Half Baked because it’s a bronze-y golden and he loves winning trophies and being number one. It happens to be my favourite colour as well.

Spent: $108.16

DAY SIX

6:00 a.m. — He’s eating yoghurt, and he asks me: “Mommy, left or right?” … he always wants me to help him ‘code’ the ending of his bowl of yoghurt, and sometimes mixes it up with “West or East?“… or “Counter clockwise or Clockwise?“… and he he licks the bowl in the way I tell him.

7:59 a.m. — I have him start on a few pages of his math workbook, and I only manage to get him to finish the page CODE BREAKER because I use one of his Stuffies and make a high fake voice for it, to ask him questions, to pretend the Stuffie cannot read the numbers correctly, or is reading the numbers upside down. He finishes the page pretty quickly, and asks the Stuffie questions, or tries to help the Stuffie find the letter that matches the answer for the equations:

8:22 a.m. — My partner starts on the raisin bread, which my little boy calls “CAKE”, and he is so excited he is going to get ‘cake’ that he runs around the apartment like a banshee.

1:46 p.m. — I soak my white shirts in water so that I can handwash them tomorrow and try to get the yellow stains out before they really set. As they soak in there, Little Bun eagerly plunges his hands in for water play, and “helps” me soak my shirts by telling me he is helping me swish them around and to get them good and ready for cleaning.

12:28 p.m. —  We have pizza today, with the fresh tomato sauce from earlier this week and chorizo:

3:41 p.m. — Little Bun turns into a screaming monster over not wanting to do any schoolwork at all – we only did ONE PAGE of math, and I was trying to get him to do Canada as a map and the provinces, colour them in, etc…. and I finally leave him in the bedroom screaming for 2 minutes. Then I go and get him, and sit there quietly and ask: “Do you want to be alone or with Mommy?” .. He chooses alone, so I leave him.

4:03 p.m. — We try again to do the math after he’s calmed down, and he just sits there. He refuses. I have no idea why, it’s literally 5 more equations. He screams again, so he goes back into time out and I tell him he stays in there until he stops screaming. He tells me he won’t stop screaming for another thousand billion hours. I inform him I won’t be wasting my time listening to him scream then, and I leave. His wailing turns into furious rage.

4:25 p.m. — He finally calms down and comes out to do math. JUST ONE PAGE. He completes it in SIX MINUTES and I tell him: 30 minutes of screaming and 6 minutes of math. Why didn’t you just do it? … He pauses and is silent. He then tells me the third question was difficult for him, but then I tell him: That’s no excuse to give up. If it’s difficult, you can ask for help, you aren’t alone. And I’m about to show you a trick right now for how to figure it out easily without ANY work at all.

Some parents might find it harsh saying that to a 6-year old, but I am frustrated he screamed for 30 minutes, and internally didn’t feel like he could ask me for help for something he thought he COULD do alone but couldn’t. We had a breakdown in communication and I made it clear that he should ask if he doesn’t know or thinks it could be too tricky for him. No more of this stalling nonsense.

4:31 p.m. — We are done, and I tell him no more math if he doesn’t want to do any until Monday. School day is over. I am trying to do Monday to Friday as “school days”, and he MUST learn something or build upon something new from the day before (e.g. Canada map) so that we keep to some sort of a schedule (which he likes).

5:01 p.m. — I go through the papers on my desk. I feel like a lot of it could be packed away, maybe.

6:47 p.m. — My partner starts the BBQ for dinner and Little Bun is very excited. He loves chorizo the most, and it’s a real treat for him. If he could, he would eat buckets of it if we let him (and we don’t). It’s quite salty for us so we always make sure he eats it with a lot of salad and bread with the chorizo not as the main part but the condiment of sorts.

7:40 p.m. — This review made me laugh so hard… It’s through stuff like this, I feel like this person and I could be friends if we met and the circumstances were right:

….”the couch is beginning to look like a spring roll“….

8:30 p.m. — We start on our bedtime routine. Same as usual. Daddy reading, Daddy brushing (and I hear lots of stern scolding to BRUSH and not just hold the toothbrush in his mouth from the bathroom), and then I brush my teeth, and we cuddle together to read books to or with the Stuffies (these Stuffies are making him do a lot of things he wouldn’t otherwise do, and I am using them to my full advantage).

Spent: $0

DAY SEVEN

??:?? — I wake up in the middle of the night, groggy and dizzy. What’s going on? All I hear is thumping, relentless, terrible rave music with a lot of bass. It is AWFUL. It’s pounding in my head.

??:?? — Still going on. I call to ask them to check the floors.

6:00 a.m. — I am ‘up’ but my left eye is killing me, I have a migraine on the left side of my temple (the vein is throbbing), and I want to vomit. Not sleeping is not helping but it’s also about to rain, so the barometric pressure dropped and now I’m useless and dizzy.

6:20 a.m. — I make a cup of matcha tea then regret drinking it because the caffeine makes it worse. I sit with Little Bun and just close my eyes, trying to stop the pain. I pop two pills (metonia) for my barometric pressure headache and cannot find the Tylenol, so I wake my partner up for it.

7:12 a.m. — Still in major pain. I go to lie down, and end up sleeping on and off for the next 3 hours while my son runs around and plays, and I ask him to please take care of Mommy today, her side of her brain is really hurting. He nods, massages the side of my head then asks: Is it better now? … I tell him a little, but I need to rest.

9:14 a.m. — He begs to go into my closet and to play alone. I let him in, and move my pillow to where I can watch him from the bed while resting. He is so incredibly cute. He found these earplugs that squish down and reinflate, and he is playing with them with the Stuffies, asking them to step on it, make cookies out of it (he squishes it down flat) and then excitedly tells them: WAIT! It’s going to reinflate!

10:30 a.m. — Appetite still gone, but somewhat coming back. I keep lying there, playing small games with him. I finally tell him to go play with his father and make a castle, which my partner misinterprets as “I want to go on the balcony”, so they go out, and draw a castle instead.

10:47 a.m. — It doesn’t last long, it’s cold today. He’s back and I let him back into the mysterious closet. I also find this New Yorker cartoon by Sue Rynns accurate:

And here are the thoughts I had that I posted in my Stories on Instagram:

If anyone wants to learn more about this, the three books I recommend the most are: Fair Play, Invisible Women and All the Single Ladies.

11:23 a.m. — I get a call from the consignment shop – they sold some stuff! I wonder what. And how much. And they want to keep a designer bag to keep trying to sell it, and I am pondering bringing in another designer bag to resell.

11:40 a.m. — I make lunch for myself, simple pasta and cheese.

12:28 p.m. — Little Bun plays beside me quietly and I doze off again. My eye is finally starting to release the pain, and I feel almost human again.

12:56 p.m. — I go and sit outside, reading my book and I wrap myself in a cardigan and cashmere, my legs freezing. I must find my cashmere joggers tomorrow to sit outside. I’ll do it until the snow falls.

3:12 p.m. — Little Bun slumps against the balcony door. Back facing it. I knock and cheerily ask to come in. He immediately launches into his spiel: “Mommy, I don’t like it when you’re on the balcony and then I wake up from my nap and you’re not there. I would prefer it if you were inside the apartment BEFORE my nap“… this all ties back to him thinking I disappeared.

He woke up once and I heard wailing and then came back inside. He thought I had left without telling him (I always inform him if I am going out well before his nap so he isn’t upset) and was trying to keep it together (no tears), and was watching the driveway outside to see if he could see my car coming home.

I guess I am building my own traps here by coddling him in this respect, but I also understand that during a pandemic and him not having left the apartment for about 6 months now, I am his entire world. He NEEDS me, and I can sacrifice a little. I make a note to come back inside before 15:00 so that he can run into my arms and snuggle like before.

5:30 p.m. — I tell him that we will deep vacuum the bedroom today. He is SO EXCITED. He runs and grabs the ‘roo roo’ (vacuum attachment hose), and I have him literally vacuum all the nooks and crannies, all the baseboards, slowly and deliberately back and forth for half an hour until we have totally cleaned the apartment of dust. I tell him tomorrow we’ll do the bathroom. He tells me we need a Busy Worker Plan. Cleaning is easier when you have company, and he’s mine.

7:15 p.m. — I skip dinner, I still feel queasy. I just eat my little rice pudding cup (my partner makes them bi-weekly), and savour the sweetness.

7:40 p.m. — I put an offer of $20 in (with $15 shipping) on these pants. And I ‘win’ I guess because they have a SMALL hole in the back left corner, so I’d otherwise not even bother with them except they’re high rise, wide-legged jeans and I am keen to try this look out. I’ll just patch up the back left corner with some dark thread, you won’t even notice it. $0 (used my Poshmark credits so $0 out of pocket)

8:40 p.m. — We read before bedtime routine – Daddy first, then brushing, then Mommy reads. He picks out the Underground Usborne book and makes me read all the flaps to his Stuffies, while he interjects with “Stuffies, DID YOU KNOW….” facts. He starts yawning and I tell him we better call it an early night, if we’re all tired.

9:20 p.m. — Bedtime. He whispers: “I want to hear more history“… and I tell him about how it used to be in the past before we had indoor plumbing, or how paper was discovered, and all these fun facts I loved as a kid growing up. He loves hearing what things were like and comparing it to now. I am making a note that maybe in December I will buy some Usborne Ancient Rome and Usborne General Knowledge books because even I would find it interesting.

Spent: $0

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Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.