??:?? — Screaming. More nightmares.
??:?? — Another nightmare.
6:00 a.m. — Little Bun jumps on top of me and says: Mommy, it’s 6!
6:13 a.m. — I get up, and check on my bank accounts – I signed up for a bank bonus for a chequing account and now that I have the $350, I am closing the account. They want me to go in person to do it but I won’t because of the virus, so we will have to Skype or something if they need to.
7:21 a.m. — I make a cup of matcha tea latte.
8:50 a.m. — TRUTH. I have been reading a lot of books about women in the past, and this is a perfect example of the inequality in thinking that all men in charge is OK yet all women in charge makes people think WTF?
9:08 a.m. — I am really dragging. Little Bun agrees to watch videos after we have a failed attempt to try and play together. He made up some game with a sock ball and then got visibly angrier and angrier as I couldn’t read his mind to figure out HOW to play this game with a ball and some blocks… he kept getting so angry at me, that I burst out in frustration and then he gasped and told me: I am taking away all the games from you! NOW YOU HAVE NO MORE GAMES! (as my punishment because we always confiscate his iPad or computer when he is truly disobedient so he is punishing me the only way he knows how).
He finally calmed down, I explained that I was certainly not being very nice but I wasn’t angry, I was frustrated that I didn’t understand how to play this game. He looks at me sadly tearing up: Now you have no more games to play. Fine. I am too tired. I snuggle him and tell him I am sorry I have no more games left, but I was getting frustrated not angry.
9:35 a.m. — I start into this book – The Wife Between Us – and I AM HOOKED.
2:04 p.m. — I finish the book. I read quickly but also … this was so SO good. I even read while I ate my lunch. It is a thriller, obviously about an affair but … honestly, it was nothing like I expected, it is FANTASTIC.
3:00 p.m. — Little Bun politely knocks to be let out of his room.
3:28 p.m. — Mommy let’s vacuum!.… and as we vacuum he tells me confidentially: “I love baby ducks, and baby birds but not baby DUST BUNNIES…VROOOOM!“, and he “helps” me vacuum up whole families of aunts, uncles and cousins by holding onto the vacuum with his hand.
5:30 p.m. — “Mommy look, look at all the ants. I love ants.“.. and he points to the window ledge where they are certainly not ants but bugs.. moths? .. that fly around outside during the summer and get into everything but like to congregate on the sills where it is warm (on certain sides of the apartment).
5:30 p.m. — Dinner. I make pasta, and I don’t know if you all know this trick but you hold a handful of pasta in your hand, then drop it straight down into the middle of the pot to let it fan out like this – then as it cooks and softens down, it twirls/swirls into the pot of water naturally without having to push it in:
7:18 p.m. — He refuses to read a book again and I LOSE IT. He is whining about reading this book and how it takes so long, and how it is forever to get through it (YEAH BECAUSE YOU’RE WEAKER IN THIS LANGUAGE). I repeated patiently that he needed to practice so that he would be as strong as he is in English and this is part of it, PLUS Daddy wants to spend time with him teaching him.
This is ridiculous how resistant he is to this especially since his second language is weaker than his English. We don’t push him on ANYTHING but learning this language and most importantly, spending time with Daddy and not with me or the iPad/Computer. This is important to us in more ways than one.
I know from experience that with language in particular, if you don’t reinforce it, they won’t learn it. You have to insist that they speak it, read it, write it, and then after they are good at it, they’ll be relieved and thank you for the push rather than regret not learning it properly. SO MANY PEOPLE tell me that they’re grateful their parents pushed them to learn a language other than English, natively.
7:49 p.m. — He loses it and I close him out of the bedroom door. I need a break and my partner needs to step up. He takes him away from the door and cuddles him while he cries softly. After about 20 minutes, the crying basically stops but then starts up again when he sees me, and I take him into my arms, after I have calmed the F#*%#K DOWN. I need breaks from him alone, or else I will lose it, and this is one of those times.
8:50 p.m. — Time for bed. No Lucy Lobster. No iPad or computer tomorrow. This is going to be rough on me.
??:?? — I slept. I SLEPT!!! OH SWEET WORLD!! I feel like a human being again. I am literally this otter:
6:00 a.m. — There is no more milk left for him (he drinks goat), and I pour him a little cow’s milk and then he has pasta and cheese. I make a cup of tea.
7:09 a.m. — He knows there is no iPad/computer today, and he self-polices himself by refusing to use either device. He instead, plays with blocks on the floor and I build him a nest with a blanket and a pillow.
7:15 a.m. — I reheat my tea at least 3 times in the morning because I like it almost-too-hot, and when it gets lukewarm, I have to reheat it again.
10:05 a.m. — Lunch.
11:09 a.m. — I see this and realize that even though it isn’t my country, people don’t understand that the money is a STIMULUS amount, not the actual amount they expect you to live with. They did not give it as a living wage.
This is an amount given to EVERYONE so that they spend it on the economy and help keep it going, and for those who don’t have a job, it is in ADDITION to what they will get on unemployment which equals out to $13,000 or so for 10 weeks based on what I have read.
12:28 p.m. — Little Bun sees this photo of a calf with earmuffs on my feed and says: MOMMY! It is a BUNNY COW!!!!
6:56 p.m. — We read books together, and vacuum the home, and then get ready for bed.
8:13 p.m. — Bedtime.
??:?? — He wakes up squealing – nosebleed. Of course now he doesn’t want to go back to sleep. We spend the next hour trying to sleep (me) and him trying to stay still and nap again but can’t (him)
6:00 a.m. — I get up and he plays Cake Pops and I make funny Cake Pop designs for him in the app to make him laugh:
7:59 a.m. — I make a cup of tea as my partner goes out to run errands.
8:40 a.m. — I finally get around to my DIY project and I make a ring and a necklace out of some earrings I bought (I can’t wear earrings or else I’d wear them as-is):
First, I remove the earring hook:
…and then the top looped section, I snip it off with wire cutters and file it down to be smooth:
And then I glue it on a ring and make… a ring!
I took the other earring and made a necklace by snipping the wire and wrapping it around so it would hang off the loop of a necklace I bought for these kinds of projects:
10:20 a.m. — I make an early lunch and feed him three times so that he won’t get grumpy in the bedroom when my partner comes home.
12:20 p.m. — I doze off for a few minutes.
1:01 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for his nap. He needs it.
3:00 p.m. — He knocks politely on the door, he didn’t get milk in the past 2 days because we ran out so he is really dying for a good drink.
5:56 p.m. — Little Bun muses to me:
6:56 p.m. — I make some pasta for dinner, and then I go to read my book. I can’t get into these Nancy Gladstone biographies, so I just delete them off my e-reader. Instead, I discover Emma Campion whose style of storytelling a biography is a bit fictional and EXACTLY the style I like, and get sucked into her books.
7:56 p.m. — My partner cues him for storytime then brushing, and I do the same.
9:04 p.m. — Time for bed. He plays Moose Math before bedtime, and I read my book.
??:?? — Little Bun hits me hard in the face while he is awake and looking for something which jolts me awake and I am in a GRUMPY AF BEAR MOOD.
??:?? — Little Bun is crying and squealing because I am SO ANGRY at being woken up like this and my anger is manifesting out in noise. WHAT THE ACTUAL F. After his milk, he lectures me about being noisy and angry and I tell him — I don’t appreciate being hit in the face with you not being careful in bed and that makes me VERY ANGRY.
5:55 a.m. — FML. I am very tired. I finally get him calmed down and he watches If you give a mouse a cookie which is a great series.
6:16 a.m. — I make some tea.
8:08 a.m. — Little Bun: This app says they want you to download it and it is FREE!
Me: Free is not always good. I am not downloading that. …
8:20 a.m. — Little Bun: You can buy this app and the ads I don’t like will disappear.
Me: I am not buying Cake Pop Maker. This is a silly game and I am not paying for this. I’m thinking to myself that I can’t even eat the bloody cake pops so what’s the point of decorating fake ones? UGH.
9:17 a.m. — I try to nap and it doesn’t work. I’m just mentally anxious.
11:28 a.m. — Lunch – pizza. Little Bun announces after he ate that he is still hungry, and true to French form, my partner refuses to give him more food, telling him he JUST ATE and he has to give his body time to show that he is not actually hungry. I give him some water and tell him to wait, and if after his nap he is still hungry he can have more to eat.
12:15 p.m. — I play with Little Bun and he tries to feed me ‘sushi’… or an old rolled up sock. I have to play eat it too and say “om nommm nommm!”
1:06 p.m. — Down for his nap.
3:00 p.m. — Up from his nap (he didn’t sleep but at least we all got quiet time), he is full of energy and I am exhausted. I go to the bedroom and play with him.
3:56 p.m. — I tell him: Mommy needs a 15-minute nap. Can you please wake me at 16:15? (he likes military time). He nods and watches his videos and pats my bum like I used to do to him when he slept. <3
5:15 p.m. — “DING DING DING!”.. He pretends to be an alarm clock and to wake me up. I wake up in a hazy, tired, fog. I am still tired and could go another hour or two frankly, but then I would wake up at 3 a.m. in the morning, not to mention that I haven’t brushed my teeth, etc. I wake up a bit hungry.. then doze back to sleep.
5:33 p.m. — OK I’m really up now. I force myself to sit up in bed as my sleep headache appears. I stare at the clock and he tells me: I know you told me 16:15, but you looked so tired I wanted to let you sleep in a little bit more. This child is … beyond sweet. I can’t even. I hug and kiss him, and get up groggily. I feel tired now and with a headache from oversleeping, but a bit better, and hungry. So I make some pasta.
6:40 p.m. — After pasta, I feed him. He threw a fit actually that I wouldn’t NOT eat my pasta first and then feed him, and I got cross at him – telling him his father would feed him then because I am hungry and he has to come NOW of all times as I am about to eat? Give me TEN MINUTES.
6:56 p.m. — I feed him as he watches videos, and then I clean all the dishes and leave them to dry on the counter.
7:18 p.m. — We snuggle and read books together.
9:45 p.m. — Time for bed. I slept an hour so I don’t feel tired at all. This is going to mess up my night sleep.
??:?? p.m. — Sure enough, I am not sleeping.
??:?? — We seem to have slept in enough to see the sun rise, so this is a good sign. He did squeal a few times during the night because I think he got a nosebleed but not a bad one.
6:01 a.m. — YAY!!! SIX A.M.!!! And I feel much better, even though I am still a bit tired and could use an hour. That nap messed me up yesterday.
7:04 a.m. — I go through all my emails and answer as much as I can – surprisingly even though I am not working, the blog is full-time … same with Instagram, etc. I take a break and make a cup of tea to enjoy. The sun is directly on my screen and on my back, and it is making me grumpy because I greatly dislike direct sunlight, and this only happens during the morning, so once it hits around 8 a.m. the apartment light is perfect.
8:28 a.m. — I take a shower after my partner gets up. I am seeing that if I shower, I feel better, so I should honestly.. (as sad as this sounds), shower more often. I haven’t been getting as dirty going out or to yoga so I have been lax, especially with my eczema issues – I don’t want to make them worse…
9:16 a.m. — At least there is Top Chef Season 17 to look towards to. I love this show.
10:28 a.m. — We have lunch, and Little Bun sits on my lap to watch videos with me.
11:40 a.m. — CARE BEARS! How can I get Little Bun into Care Bears? I loved them when I was a little girl.
1:08 p.m. — He goes down for his nap. Then runs out and says: Mommy, think of all the fun games we can play once I am up from my nap!! … Umm.. okay.
3:40 p.m. — Up from his nap (he actually napped), he is a bit grumpy, so he sits on the floor alone and plays with blocks.
4:33 p.m. — We vacuum and he tells me: Mommy, I had a pet dust bunny but you didn’t vacuum him up. Dusty was his name. Dusty was my pet and he is the cutest dust bunny ever.
5:16 p.m. — I make a quick meal of pasta, and then feed him dinner.
8:56 p.m. — Bedtime. He goes to sleep, and we just chat into the night. Before we doze off he says: Mommy? I will love you forever and ever. .. *hearts in eyes* <3
5:55 a.m. — Milk has been a bit low for Little Bun (we could only find 2 bottles) so I tell him: Baby, I want to warn you that you may not get milk in the next few days because the supplies are down. He nods and then I tell him: You’ll get yoghurt instead is that okay?
His whole face lights up: OH GOODY GOODY! I LOVE YOGHURT! I don’t have to be sad, you told me not to be sad when the milk was gone, and I tried not to be, but I love yoghurt! I can eat it and be big and strong just like Daddy! I love yoghurt. YUM! .. Well that went over well.
6:29 a.m. — I make a cup of tea and log into my business accounts to do my books – I have to balance it all out, got lots of payments & remittances coming up because every quarter (March), I have to remit by April.
8:37 a.m. — Little Bun spends some of the morning playing with blocks then making lots of noises, finally, ending in the bedroom with a constant “BEEP BEEP BEEP”… and I go to check on him and he tells me in a robot voice: “Low battery. Beep. Beep. Beep.“.. I stick a pillow on him to ‘charge’ his batteries. Then he calls me back “Beep beep beep charging stopped.“, and I finally wrap him in a blanket after I “check” his batteries with a block to his forehead.
10:43 a.m. — I set him up with some videos while I go back to my books.
12:39 p.m. — We have crepes for lunch. Mine are all covered in maple syrup as a treat. <3
1:55 p.m. — I am decided – I will save up for a very expensive, status bag – the Hermès Kelly. It is $14,000 at retail so I won’t be getting it for a long, LONG time.
2:16 p.m. — I end up taking a nap on the floor and wake up when Little Bun is crying in the bedroom. I keep sleeping and let my partner take him.
4:15 p.m. — I play with Little Bun, then make a quick pasta meal, while my partner bakes a cake with a bouncy Little Bun who is VERY EXCITED about this cake.
5:27 p.m. — I feed Little Bun. He keeps blabbering on about the cake and asks me what kind of cakes I like, I don’t like… When it is one, he is so happy.
6:34 p.m. — He goes and watches Care Bears (he loves them now), and I am hoping it helps impart some more kindness into him about sharing and caring. Doesn’t hurt, right?
7:40 p.m. — I am starting to feel a bit like myself again with these mini naps but my yoga has fallen off the wagon. I have to get back to it starting next week. I will force myself…
7:45 p.m. — We get ready for bed after he reads a book with his father.
8:56 p.m. — We read a few books, and then go to sleep.
??:?? — I wake up tired but not fatigued.
6:50 a.m. — Little Bun sees this on Instagram on my phone and then says: OH MOMMY! It’s for you! .. and then *hugs and kisses me* ….
6:50 a.m. — I make a cup of tea, feed him pasta, and log in to answer emails.
8:08 a.m. — Love these Banksy working from home art pieces.
12:08 p.m. — Time for lunch. After lunch, Little Bun and I play “Rainbow Robot” (he built a rainbow coloured robot out of some blocks) and it is a game where it hides and seeks with his stuffies.
1:00 p.m. — Nap time for him. I lie on the floor and watch Modern Family episodes, and doze off.
3:05 p.m. — He’s up, and I get up and do the dishes.
5:56 p.m. — I am loving the vibe of this entire outfit. <3 I love the hat (I own a similar one), and the all-white outfit..
6:12 p.m. — I do laundry and the dishes again after dinner. We read books, play, he colours, does some activities on paper and my partner and I chat about what could be done to help during this pandemic.
8:50 p.m. — I read my book, while he watches Care Bears (he loves them), and time for bed.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.