A Week of Money: Trying to get it together
??:?? — Toddler slap in the face.
??:?? — Toddler head on my stomach, which is very uncomfortable but apparently I am a comfortable pillow. I try to quietly, and stealthily shift his head off me. He snuffles and whines a little but goes back to sleep.
6:00 a.m. — Right on time. I need about an hour to get ready, drink tea, and then get to work.
6:32 a.m. — I start my makeup and skin routine which is now this and it looks great:
- Paula’s Choice Toner – NEVER MISS THIS.
- Paula’s Choice Moisturizer – Just a drop
- TarteGuard SPF 30 – it doesn’t make my foundation ball up
- BareMinerals Complexion Rescue – all mineral, all day long with a great glow
- Makeup Forever HD Concealer – perfect for concealing my dark undereye circles
- Hourglass Ambient powder as a blush and bronzer
- Using DollyWink eyeliner right now, and was looking at Kat Von D Liquid eyeliner but I am am buying Physician’s Formula next
- Kat von D translucent powder
- Becca Mattifying Primer to keep oil away — it is AMAZING
- Tarte Mascara
- Anastasia Eyebrow Pencil
6:52 a.m. — We’re out the door. YES!!! I can now strap him into his seat leisurely and not break out in a panic.
7:42 a.m. — We arrive in a comfortable time window for me to park, kiss my blubbering toddler goodbye who is screaming: MOMMYYYYYY MOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!, and walk to work.
8:00 a.m. — Right. On. The. Dot.
8:20 a.m. — My second cup of tea is needed. Black this time, please.
10:18 a.m. — Work.
11:52 a.m. — I get to the microwave early to warm up my lunch and scarf it down. While I am eating, I check Facebook. My friend finally gave birth!!! I hungrily stalk photos of her, her husband and her new little baby girl on Facebook. I’m so happy for her, I want to burst. I also know she must be extremely tired right now, newborn days are hard, and I already warned her that the next 3 months would be HELL.
11:59 a.m. —I message her excitedly and tell her to contact me ANY TIME for advice.
12:32 p.m. — I’m back at my desk, and tapping away. In the end, I’d rather leave earlier if I can, I just feel like there is more time to get things done if I do.
2:22 p.m. — Work. And three meetings. Why is this so difficult for everyone? No one is sure about what they’re doing because they don’t know what they’re doing, so why not stop, take a break, assess the situation and DO IT RIGHT? Ugh.
3:02 p.m. —I eat my almost rotten banana. I sort of want to make banana bread again but I won’t because when we are on vacation I plan on putting on 20 pounds from eating as much as I can in Europe.
4:15 p.m. — Already out the door and on the way to preschool, to pick up my baby.
4:35 p.m. — He looks up and points at me, breaking out into a deep, happy, toddler grin. He runs into my arms. We cuddle, and everyone smiles, but the other kids start looking around for their parents too. One bursts into tears, reminded of her situation, waiting for her parents.. I feel bad for her.
4:37 p.m. — I snag two snack packs before leaving the preschool. YUM. Baby Bun munches on his happily before we get to the car.
5:35 p.m. — And we’re home, inside, hands washed and happy.
6:07 p.m. — Din din. Baby Bun squeals and runs for his chair when he sees a baguette tucked under his father’s arm. He made a very, VERY rich pasta dish with bacon, and Baby Bun squeals for more.
6:37 p.m. — Dinner all over with, I wash up all the dishes and make a list for things I need to do tomorrow. I have so much I have to get done, it seems. All these tiny little details…
5:38 a.m. — I really feel like I need that extra 20 minutes. It is tough. I really want to go back and sleep but know it’ll make it worse.
6:28 a.m. — I get ready and Baby Bun bounces around, asking to go to “school”. I raise an eyebrow. Let’s see if he remembers this when we get there.
6:38 a.m. — I throw a load of laundry into the wash.
7:59 a.m. — Nope. He walked in, and started whimpering: NO SCHOOL.. NO SCHOOOL.. HOME. HOME NAP… LUNCH.. *sigh*
8:21 a.m. — I am late to work, but hey, this is life. I log in and check, and Baby Bun is fine again. Only what, 5 more months to go?
8:25 a.m. — I go to grab a cup of tea.
10:18 a.m. — Worky Work.
11:02 a.m. — I get to my lunch super early. I’m super hungry.
12:08 p.m. — I got sidetracked messaging my friend who is about to pop a baby any day now. We share lunch pictures over iMessage and I give her the straight dope on giving birth and being a new parent and mom.
12:09 p.m. — I buckle down to work. Have a meeting today, and need to deliver a few reports.
4:45 p.m. — Out the door, speedwalking to preschool, I pick up Baby Bun and cuddle him. This is getting easier at least, to see his face at the end of the day after all that emailing and those meetings.
5:35 p.m. — We’re home, our hands are washed, and I’m wiping the makeup off my face to let my skin breathe again. I don’t wear any face makeup on weekends, just eye makeup and concealer. I need to give my skin a break.
5:45 p.m. — I remember the laundry and toss it in the dryer.
6:07 p.m. — Dinner time! Baby Bun and I sit together on our matching Stokke chairs (lol), and I talk to my partner about our day. I love having family meals together, and I try to make it a point to get everything I can done outside of the meals so we can spend this precious time together. We eat the pasta leftovers from yesterday.
7:37 p.m. — Dishes are done, laundry is put away, and I am settling down to play and read to Baby Bun. This is the age where I can just tackle him and smother him in kisses and he can’t do a thing, so I am taking advantage of it.
9:07 p.m. — My partner and I talk so much that Baby Bun sleeps before the both of us finish.
??:?? — Baby Bun wakes up at another ungodly hour, asking to go to the potty.
??:?? — He wiggles again and asks for milk this time before I tell him he has to sleep and wait for daylight.
6:18 a.m. — He’s up, I’m up, and getting ready. I have more or less a routine down now, and I like to set out my outfits ahead of time.
6:28 a.m. — I check my emails quickly and see that my Thinx came in. I’m excited to try them out and see how they go, and plan on reviewing them later. I don’t plan on wearing them just as-is, I plan on using my Diva cup, these are just-in-case.
6:32 a.m. — I pop down to the lobby and pick up the mail while my foundation and pre-makeup face dries.
6:40 a.m. — I put all the mail away to open later, and finish my makeup.
7:09 a.m. — Out the door, and on the way to preschool. I remind Baby Bun about how much fun it is to go to school and how all little boys have to go to school. He repeats after me that it is fun to go to school.
7:38 a.m. — We’re in the preschool, and he is a blubbering mess again. *sigh* I try to get him to get into the door, but he runs away from me. I catch him, and have to hoist him in forcibly, and I try to sit him down on a chair, but he clings onto me and wraps his legs around me like an octopus, screaming and crying: MOMMY MOMMY MOMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!
7:41 a.m. — I wish my partner was dropping him off. It is much harder leaving me than it is leaving my partner for Baby Bun, and this is what really sucks about the whole day when I have to remember his sobbing face for the morning, even though I KNOW he stops crying after 15 minutes. It still hurts.
7:58 a.m. — In the office, I flop onto a chair and my manager looks at me and sympathizes. He remembers how hard it was on his wife when his kids were younger. I sigh.
8:18 a.m. — Cup of tea in hand, and I start to work but get distracted. There is a guy in the office who won’t stop humming!!!! It is like he thinks he is the only one here and no one can hear him. News flash, WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU, even with headphones on!!! I need to wear my Bose noise cancelling headphones to drown him out but I can’t in the office environment.
11:02 a.m. — I like getting my lunch early, so I heat it up when the microwaves are free, and bring it down to my desk.
12:56 p.m. — I go upstairs to take a break to wash everything, and then go back downstairs to work.
2:56 p.m. — I stuff my face with Ricola sweets, my mom swears by these for my sore throat and cough and honestly, I feel like they don’t work. I keep coughing anyway. My body just needs to fight off this residual cold and get rid of the cough on its own without antibiotics. Luckily it didn’t turn into bronchitis.
4:05 p.m. — Out the door, on the way to preschool.
4:25 p.m. — I pick up my tear-free Baby Bun and he is all smiles. This is also really hard on him too, after having me home for so long, and being so close to me, he is not transitioning well. I ask him how his day went, and he repeats that he did pictures and puzzles. He seems to be fine.
5:35 p.m. — At home, I recount that Baby Bun still is not settling in well, and my partner sighs. He knows it’s tough. I just wish this preschool was more centrally located for the both of us so that he could do drop-off and/or pickup instead of me all the time. I almost feel trapped between work and having to also rush in and out for preschool.
5:59 p.m. — I start eating hungrily. Working really saps the energy out of you.
6:39 p.m. — I finish the dishes, glance up and realize I have time for a quick vacuum. I warn Baby Bun the vacuum is coming out and he squeals, taking cover in the bedroom diving onto the futon to hide and giggle.
7:19 p.m. — I complete the entire apartment with the Dyson Animal Vacuum (ahhh.. the benefits of a tinier space), and feel better.
7:29 p.m. — I finish my skincare and makeup routine and get ready for bed/reading/Baby Bun/partner chatting time.
8:17 p.m. — Everyone is in bed now and Baby Bun is in his night underwear and pyjamas already. I’m tired. I also have a headache from my cold that won’t go away.
??:?? — He just won’t give up on this milk thing.
??:?? — Now he is demanding that YES it IS daylight and MOMMY you are wrong, so therefore Baby Bun gets milk NOW. I firmly tell him no.
6:28 a.m. — Every time. We wake up later but we had to wake up so many times during the night that it doesn’t feel like I slept at all. I feel like a walking zombie. I skip the tea, I’ll drink it at work.
7:00 a.m. — On the dot, out the door and I slapped on makeup quickly to reach this point.
7:40 a.m. — Another blubbery Baby Bun left in the strong, iron-grip of a preschool teacher. *sigh*
8:08 a.m. — At work. I put away my lunch in the fridge and grab a cup of desperately needed tea.
10:18 a.m. — My manager stops me before going to lunch, and mentions that he will assign me a few more tasks to do “in my downtime”. I privately LOL. Downtime. Yeah that isn’t happening right now, but luckily I know better and keep this thought to myself while I smile and say: Of course!
11:02 a.m. — Lunch.
12:08 p.m. — I go up to a meeting and spend the next hour trying to figure out WTF they’ve done on so far. Spoiler alert: JACK SQUAT, like every other client. It is like people don’t have a sense of organization and rationality when it comes to working. Oh well. It is why I’m here.
12:28 p.m. — Wash lunch stuff.
12:56 p.m. — I get an email from the VP asking me why I need to access a certain hard drive on their system, I explain it is because it is a shared drive and my Lead puts all the documents there which I need to read. He writes back and approves the request.
3:57 p.m. — I sidle out of the office, a few minutes early and head to the preschool, enjoying the sun and the fresh air.
4:45 p.m. — We reach home, I feel tired and flushed, as I am still battling my cold from last week, it just won’t go away, this persistent cough that feels like I have dust caught in my throat, and this headache.
4:55 p.m. — I quickly log on to try and do personal stuff, like check my bank statements, pay bills, etc. I go through my notes and order a bunch of stuff online (I can’t be bothered to go to a store), like raw cacao nibs (plan on eating a teaspoon a day) and these awesome baby wet wipes because every time we go to the park, I feel like I need one. Or three. And Baby Bun keeps peeing on my hands despite my best efforts. $44.63
5:25 p.m. — I balance and enter expenses in my budget.
5:35 p.m. — I log off and do dinner with the family. <3
6:17 p.m. — I start on the dishes. I also have to wash everyone’s lunch boxes from the day. Ugh.
7:02 p.m. — I play with Baby Bun and read to him before pleading with him to PLEASE go play with Daddy now. I need a break.
7:35 p.m. — Baby Bun gets ready for bed but squeals and protests this pretty strongly by screaming until we promise to do another book and to play with numbers before sleeping.
8:15 p.m. — Bedtime.
??:?? — This time, he crawled on top of me and sleepily said: “SLEEP ON MOMMY…“.. a 30+ pound toddler on top of me, does not make for comfortable sleep. I gently roll him off like a log.
5:11 a.m. — *sigh* He really wants his milk. I go and get it, and doze off beside him while he sucks it down.
5:21 a.m. — I pop two extra strength aspirin. I have such a bad headache from this cold. I am REALLY tired.
6:21 a.m. — I and Baby Bun are ready early, so we go in early. I’ll just pick him up earlier as usual.
7:15 a.m. — We’re super early into the preschool, and I spend a little extra time pointing out to him how much fun he will have there, all the books he’ll read, and numbers he can play with. I still end up with a sobbing, hysterical toddler. I wish I knew what else I could do to help him.
7:27 a.m. — I am way too early. I walk to the nearest Starbucks and snag wifi and start making more notes / semi-blogging. A girl’s gotta do what she can, when she can!
7:47 a.m. — I start walking back to the office.
8:02 a.m. — I get there in time, plop onto the chair. Time to get a tea. I also pop more of that Ricola stuff. My throat does seem to be healing, maybe my mother knew something after all, or it’s just a great placebo. Whatever works. I finish the entire bag.
8:07 a.m. — I log in to 7 unread emails and wonder why something so simple is so difficult for people. I suspect I’m being too conscientious about my job and try to dial it down, remembering that no one likes a Commander at work if they aren’t the boss.
10:18 a.m. — I cough and pee accidentally, this is what childbirth does to your body — apparently the baby ruins your bladder forever because they used it as a trampoline in utero. I must remember to do my Kegels but frankly, I am just a hop skip and a jump away from wearing adult diapers. Or my new underwear.
11:02 a.m. — I talk to another consultant who gives me a restaurant recommendation but prefaces it with: it is all kind of pricey. I wonder what she means by pricey and nosily, I wonder what she makes a year. I check the prices online and they seem in line for a dinner – $20-$30 for a plate of food. I guess $60 – $100 for 2 people IS considered pricey if you are used to $5 – $10 cheap eats, but it isn’t like it is $60 a plate which I would really consider outrageous. I only remember one time treating a friend for her birthday and splashing out $300 (NO WINE!!, mind you) on a fancy dinner for the 2 of us. What I really crave is Thai food though, especially Tom Kha Gai…
12:00 p.m. — I go upstairs and they have a new microwave. Finally. The other one sucks and doesn’t work, I put mine into the new one and am pleased my food heats up so well.
12:05 p.m. — Ow. A little too well. I burned my tongue. Great. Now I have a slightly burned tongue. I should have waited. I’m too impatient.
12:38 p.m. — I finally finish eating while scrolling through my RSS feed to read blogs. I just can’t keep up these days, that’s a full-time job, honestly. I need to get on top of this blog first, and then I can “relax”. I remind myself that we’re on a vacation in a month.
12:56 p.m. — I keep scrolling through my feed until I realize what time it is. I go back to my desk to work.
1:12 p.m. — As I am working, I realize I’m trying VERY hard at this client to be personable and personal while keeping my guard up. Sometimes I’m too much of an open book and it bites me. I try not to reveal too much about myself, but this is hard. I have to keep pulling myself back.
1:44 p.m. — I go up to check on a co-worker, I asked him to do something for me and he is having trouble understanding the request.
2:32 p.m. — Back down from our impromptu meeting, I am pleased it went well. I think he wasn’t sure about me in the beginning (most men never are sure that women know their jobs), and I’ve more than proven myself in the little amount of time I have been here.
2:48 p.m. — My eyes glaze over. My head hurts. I hate looking at rows and rows of numbers because it all blurs together if I don’t give myself a break.
3:45 p.m. — I just sit and rub my eyes before realizing I have makeup on. I am not used to wearing it, so I keep smearing my eyeliner. I need to start wearing liquid waterproof stuff because I keep getting nervous that it is migrating down from my eyelids and leaving me with smudgy raccoon eyes. I’m eying this set on Amazon:
4:35 p.m. — I start packing up everything and making sure everything is clear off my desk and clean. I don’t like leaving a mess.
4:45 p.m. — THE WEEKEND!! I AM FREE. It has only been a week or so but my brain hurts and I feel like I have been here for longer. This is all a result of my having honed my skills over the years at being a consultant and now I know how to make fast connections with folks in a week or less. I remember another consultant remarking she had been on a project for 5 months and what amazed her was after I showed up, I had more connections and friends in the office than she did, in less than a week. She wondered how I did it, and I told her my secret was to find a way to connect with everyone on a personal level.
5:25 p.m. — I let Baby Bun squeal and run around in the park.
5:35 p.m. — Baby Bun and I reach home.
6:37 p.m. — Baby Bun and I are both hungry and my partner didn’t bring anything home to eat. I feed Baby Bun his dinner then I make noodles which Baby Bun adorably calls “noonoos”, and he runs around the apartment grinning and asking for them.
7:07 p.m. — We eat and then he washes his hands and runs around jumping like a kangaroo.
8:17 p.m. — Bedtime. He needs to start sleeping earlier, he is becoming a monster without sleep and it is turning ALL OF US INTO MONSTERS. I am tired.
??:?? — He wakes up crying for milk and to “go on the train”. I have to pat his bum back to sleep after telling him: SLEEP FIRST, THEN TRAIN.
6:05 a.m. — Ugh. He woke up remembering my promise. I will take him on the train today.. until I realize that I had planned on going to a garage sale with my friend to try and find some stuff on sale rather than buying new. I tell him the new change of plans is to take Mommy’s car to go shopping. He nods.
6:18 a.m. — I think about taking him tomorrow on the train then realize we have a birthday party to attend in the morning. That’s out. We’ll have to do the train next weekend. It is kind of packed for us, this weekend (one activity per weekend day, that’s my rule). I may take him in the afternoon on the train if it is really nice and warm so his father can go out biking and we’ll spend time together. I make a mental note to see if it works for us.
7:59 a.m. — I end up having to toss my old Apple earphones (the wires ripped out) and go online to look for a new pair, thinking they’re maybe $30. I get a shock of my life when I realize they are $219 EACH. DANG!!! Oh well. I start researching new options that are cheap with a microphone, that’s all I need to be able to use them with a phone, really.
8:09 a.m. — I find this pair of Panasonic headphones with different colours and a mic with a decent reviews online. I pick up 2 pairs, one in blue and pink for only $15 each pair. I figure if they work out well, I’ll just keep buying new pairs if they get ruined (I am ROUGH on my headphones). $41.36
8:08 a.m. — I get Baby Bun ready and we head off to the garage sale. I toss a small handful of raw cocoa nibs into my mouth and crunch on them. They’re a bit sour, almost lemon-y in flavour, with a chocolate hint that is bitter. I sort of like it. It would be a nice snack once in a while, but I have to be careful to only take a teaspoon a day or so, no need to overdo it on the antioxidants.
8:18 a.m. — My GPS finally finds where to go and we’re on the highway. I quickly call my friend on the phone to chat while getting there. Multi-task! Baby Bun is watching the highway and I am chatting along.
9:08 a.m. — WHOA. It is packed here at the garage sale. It took me a while to get here because my GPS ended up conking out. I didn’t realize the entire cord itself had disintegrated and it was in fact, NOT charging in the car charger but slowly draining its battery life. Crap. I had to stop and ask for directions.
9:18 a.m. — I finally get inside the garage sale and do a quick tour. I don’t see my friend, but I do pick up a few things for Baby Bun, this Eric Carle Very Block Set, Three Questions, and A Pocket for Corduroy. Next time I come, I am not bringing Baby Bun. $3.50
10:18 a.m. — Back from the garage sale, I hustle him into his chair and he has a nice lunch. He plays with his new puzzle blocks.
10:52 a.m. — DADDY! He comes home, and Baby Bun turns into a MONSTER. I don’t know why this happens but Daddy is home and the whole dynamic changes and he starts ramping ups his energy and running around wild. WHY. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.
11:07 a.m. — Sobbing, he finally cuddles with me and I put a pillow between my legs and let him “sleep on me” while I cover him in a blanket. He is fast asleep in seconds. I slowly extricate myself. It’s beautiful and sunny outside. I feel like I want to go out, but I also have no energy. I decide not to go out today and make it a point to take Baby Bun to the park, play with him and spend quality BUN TIME so that he feels secure again. Things aren’t easy for him, he doesn’t see me as often and we’ll see if spending time with him one-on-one at the park, etc helps him sleep better.
11:09 a.m. — My partner and I chat while I log on and do some quality blogging while trying to watch some videos on the side. I hate multi-tasking like this but I am basically losing my Baby Bun time.
11:19 a.m. — I remember that my GPS charger is completely useless so I log in online and buy a new GPS car charger off Amazon. Online shopping is a working parents’ godsend. I no longer need to leave the house or go anywhere to get stuff done. $15.39
11:39 a.m. — I am curious about this shopping service around the corner from me, and I decide to make an appointment to see what she has for sale. Who knows, I may end up never having to go to stores and hunt down high-waisted trousers again.
1:12 p.m. — Baby Bun is up! He has his second lunch with us. He slept a long time because he was stressed and not sleeping well at night either.
2:22 p.m. — We hang out together and I try my best to be VERY present with him and interact. Maybe he is at the age where he can tell if I am multi-tasking and not “100% there” trying to get things done while playing with him. I feel ashamed and guilty.
3:15 p.m. — I deem it safe outside sun-wise to take him to the park. I could slather him in SPF and make him wear a hat before 3 p.m. but I don’t want to bother with it right now.
4:45 p.m. — Back from the park, my partner is grilling up the first fish of the season (sea bass). YUM. I LOVE FISH. I hope Baby Bun acquires a taste for it too. He loves salmon but not any other fish it seems.
5:35 p.m. — We finish dinner and I start on the dishes. I have to vacuum afterwards, it is filthy in here and the sun makes it so completely clear that it is full of dust.
6:07 p.m. — I finish the dishes and start on the vacuum.
6:47 p.m. — I finish vacuuming.
7:07 p.m. — I flop onto the bed and try to play with Baby Bun again. SUPER MOMMY TIME. I am trying hard to help the situation and to spend more time with him now that I am working full-time.
7:27 p.m. — I remember to go down to the car to clean it out and make it a little more presentable. It is FULL OF JUNK and I need to make sure there is nothing I don’t need in there.
8:17 p.m. — We get ready to bed and he goes to sleep.
6:18 a.m. — Baby Bun slept better last night. I think it is helping him to be more present so I make it a point to put him first these days, even though I feel like I am being pulled in all directions.
6:59 a.m. — We spend the morning cuddling and I clean up all the junk I pulled back from the car last night to sort through and put away (spare shovels, spare gloves, etc) all winter stuff I don’t see or need or use for now.
7:28 a.m. — I decide to take Baby Bun out to the bus and the train, which he loves. He needs some extra fun time and this is his happy place. Then I realize that we have a birthday party to attend, so I scrap that idea and am glad I didn’t mention it to him to get his hopes up. My partner is cooking so he won’t be able to come but he’ll be happy to have the place to himself while we’re gone.
9:28 a.m. — We get ready and head to the play center where the party is being held. It’s not a big splash but it is Baby Bun’s first friends’ birthday party! I’m excited. I already gave the present to his friend yesterday so that we don’t make it a big deal, and he loved it. I gave him a Lost my Name Book by the way, and it is a GREAT gift for all kids.
10:18 a.m. — Baby Bun is LOVING IT HERE. He jumps around like a kangaroo and on my encouragement, he climbs on everything.
11:02 a.m. — Exhausted, he climbs off the play ground and into my arms, we cuddle and then we sing Happy Birthday. Now it’s pizza time. He STUFFS his face happily like a chipmunk.
12:08 p.m. — We finally leave and come home, and he is conked out in the car. I resign myself to hanging out in the car until he wakes up. I’m glad I planned for this.
1:32 p.m. — He finally wakes up, and we quickly go to the washroom at home, and I put everything away. I at least had some time to myself, and I watched Modern Family in the car while he slept.
2:54 p.m. — We go to the park and hang out again. I am really trying, and my partner is painting the entire apartment so he needs us OUT OF THE HOUSE, which I can understand.
5:35 p.m. — I finally have him back in the house and ready for food. My partner finishes up painting the place (I cannot wait), and he wants to get it ready before we leave for vacation and my parents come up to visit.
6:37 p.m. — We finish dinner!
7:37 p.m. — I get Baby Bun ready for bed early. I am trying to institute an early bedtime and it starts NOW.
8:03 p.m. — You try your best and things don’t work. He keeps wiggling and won’t sleep.
8:37 p.m. — I give up and my partner and I are still talking about our day and we’re happy to finally reconnect and chat to each other even in the dark.
??:?? p.m. — Baby Bun finally falls asleep. I can’t see what time it is in the dark so I guess about closer to 9 p.m. Who knows.