In Budgeting, Canada, Discussions, Money, Week of Money Diary

Week of Money: Where it is frustrating to agree on how to parent

DAY ONE

??:?? — I am up and tired. I feel like napping helps but then my night sleep is screwed.

6:30 a.m. — Cup of tea, and I play with Little Bun a bit.

7:09 a.m. — I log in and start working.

8:08 a.m. — Little Bun hassles me to play games with him, and tells me: MAKE A NOTE Mommy. MAKE A NOTE.

12:08 p.m. — SHOOT! I accidentally moved more money than I had in my account because banks are so dumb they don’t automatically remove the money so you don’t see it and think it is still there. I quickly call to cancel the transaction.

12:28 p.m. — Lunch time.

3:56 p.m. — I log off for the day.

5:20 p.m. — Dinner, cleaning, laundry.. nonsense.

8:44 p.m. — Bedtime. I have been trying my hardest to read a book at night but Little Bun hears “book”, and thinks it means I am reading books with him, not that I get to read my own book.

Spent: $0

DAY TWO

6:20 a.m. — I make a cup of tea, talk to Little Bun, clean up a little.


7:09 a.m. — What the..? I see 15 emails past 4 p.m. on this. Listen, this is not my life. I am not this dedicated any more because it is not appreciated, so eff off.

12:10 p.m. — I head out to run a few errands and end up finding a few more rings on final sale.. collection is growing! I am also picking up necklaces and rings I can upcycle to create more jewellery. Also I spot a straw bag in the home decor section for cheap and laugh that it is actually very on trend this summer to carry one. It’s cute right? $5.75

12:35 p.m. — I stop by a store and see a rather cute belt bag. What do we think? YAY? NAY? Would certainly be easier than a purse.

12:40 p.m. — I am enamoured with this banana leaf print — exactly what I wanted in a leaf print and found at OLD NAVY of all places. See? I’m not that bougie*… I also love that it was on final sale, mostly because of the weird cut to the top that in smaller sizes fits, but gives you arm fat where there isn’t any:

*Bougie = Slang for Bourgeois or Snobby

This is me in the Medium. See that lump off to my side by my armpit? WTF IS THAT. The dress otherwise fit great.

 

So I pick up the Large so it fits in the torso but now it’s too big…

AND VOILA!

Very pretty. If I love it enough, I will chop off the hem and use it to put thicker straps on the dress at the top which are more flattering with my wide shoulders. This particular cut is like a racerback which just makes my shoulders look and feel wider. The print is very Phoebe Philo for Celine from the Spring 2004 collection (15 years later!) but far more vibrant and leafier, which is what I love.

Fun Style Fact: Philo’s inspiration actually came from UK Vogue Editor Bay Garnett’s vintage find of a banana print that is very similar and vibrant (Watch this video, at 2:05 to see the top and print)

Although I will say in the above video, my vibe is definitely MUCH MORE Sarah Harris than Bay Garnett. But I do love that banana print top she has. Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada was SO RIGHT about fashion trickling down to the masses in this case. (Watch the whole scene of the Blue Sweater here from the movie that I am referring to)

1:15 p.m. — Back home, lunch. I have been very good lately with NOT eating out so I am patting myself on the back for this.

4:20 p.m. — Log off for the day.

5:20 p.m. — Dinner, cleaning, laundry.. nonsense.

Spent: $5.75

DAY THREE

6:40 a.m. — My partner is angry at me because I let Little Bun play with dice to play Snakes and Ladders with math equations, and he is pissed AF because he “sees” (over protectively) that Little Bun could choke on these things, swallow them, die, etc. Honestly, this is tiring AF. I do not see the big deal and I don’t see the point in OVER protecting kids. I feel like he is like one of those mothers who berates the father (I’m the father here), for not “seeing” all the dangers. Christ. What a f-ing morning, we spent it screaming at each other.

8:59 a.m. — Call of the day. I leave the call annoyed, mostly due to the bad air from this morning of screaming at each other, and I throw myself into work. I’m just peeved. Really frustrated with work (something on the call rubbed me the wrong way, they are just overcomplicating things when they don’t need to, and I hate this running around in circles #*%).

10:15 a.m. — Time for lunch. I’m hungry early because when I am mad, I get hungry. Hangry really (Hungry + Angry)

12:34 p.m. — I give myself a break and make a cup of maple oolong. Something about the maple flavour with oolong works so perfectly, coconut as well.

4:01 p.m. — I log off for the day.

7:44 p.m. — Time for bed.

Spent: $0

DAY FOUR

??:?? — I slept in. “Slept” in, meaning …did not wake up at 5 a.m.

6:26 a.m. — Little Bun sucks down milk happily in bed while I make some tea. Today is going to be a long effing day. I am not done until 6.

9:00 a.m. — First call of a million.

12:08 p.m. — I leave for some lunch and eat some prawns and beef with sprouts – my partner is going out with a friend tonight, and so I also pick up porchetta pizza as a treat for Little Bun and I. I know it will be a LONG DAY. $22.79

2:00 p.m. — Call #.. I don’t even know now.

5:23 p.m. — I head back upstairs. I was working in the lobby of our building with free wifi, and that is the only time I can get any peace and quiet while I am on the phone especially for this long. I kind of like my partner being retired.

6:15 p.m. — My partner heads out for his dinner.

6:40 p.m. — Little Bun and I have a Mommy and Baby Night In. I feed him his vegetable stew while he watches cartoons, and I take out the pizza treat, and cut off 1/3 of the entire slice (it was huge) and make little bite-sized pieces for him. He eats happily, loving the treat.

7:05 p.m. — I go through and redo the entire front hallway of shoes and bags, re-organizing it all. I kind of need time like this without my partner around so I can make a HUGE MESS of the shoes on the floor and not feel bad or have to move because someone is coming by to use the hallway.

Before: I took out everything. The heels I can pack away because I wear them for work but not for everyday things.


After: Everything tucked back in, this time with boxes to help separate items

8:50 p.m. — Bedtime. Little Bun is pretty good about sleeping without Daddy around, but I was told when I left for NYC last year, he cried every night I was gone because I was like his security blanket. He asks for his father but then nods when I tell him Daddy is out and cuddles into bed. Then my partner comes home right at that time.

9:15 p.m. — Actual bedtime.

Spent: $22.79

DAY FIVE

??:?? — I’m up early, tired, but also know that I worked too much yesterday so I am leaving early today.

6:00 a.m. — Green tea, laundry…

7:09 a.m. — I log in.

8:08 a.m. — We get a nice little treat

12:08 p.m. — I head out to buy a bread mould, and end up finding this vegan Crab Burger that I MUST TRY, so I do and it is heavenly. How do they make this food taste so good? I need to start figuring out more recipes.

I know people are always saying — if you go vegetarian or vegan, EAT vegetables, don’t eat things that taste like meat what’s the point just eat meat, but … really, this is just a point of preference for me. I am personally a flexitarian, but I am trying harder to be less of a meat-eater and lover, and more of a vegetable-person. This is not going to happen overnight and if the net result is that I end up loving faux meat instead of real meat, I think that is a win overall. Who cares what the journey is to eating less meat is? The END result of less meat overall is what matters. In fact, in searching for  Vegan Crab Cake Patty, this post perfectly sums up how I feel. $14.79https://eatcopperbranch.com/menu/

Side note:

Cows and any dairy products are one of the biggest contributors to environmental issues, not just the gas we’re burning when we drive our cars or take airplanes. It is because cows burp methane, which ruins the atmosphere, and if you think of all the meat and dairy we eat, this adds up to a lot.

That’s the reason why eating less meat, helps the environment. That said, I am not trying to be militant about it, I do eat meat, drink dairy and eat cheese, I am just becoming very very conscious of it and trying to not eat it at all, and to try to find REAL substitutes like soy milk in my tea rather than regular milk. My issue is that I cannot find soy milk in glass bottles. Sigh.

So I think I will be experimenting this month with making my own soy milk and keeping it in those reusable glass bottles for milk.

3:20 p.m. — My card gets declined when I try to buy those bread moulds. WTF? I don’t have a balance on it, I just paid it in full… What is going on here? I call the company and it turns out the card physically is ruined or something went wrong (but the numbers for buying online are fine), but I still have a full credit of $3000. It is just embarrassing to have it happen at the checkout, particularly since people don’t know me, and I am not a credit card balance kind of person. Never have been, never will be. I am 100% debt free for life.

4:13 p.m. — I lug TWO heavy bread moulds back to the car where I parked way across the parking lot. That was a WORKOUT. $270.40

4:40 p.m. — Home. It was raining so it took me much longer than usual. A lot of homes near the water are starting to flood. They should have moved out last year when it happened, but hindsight is always 20/20. They loved the neighbourhood and couldn’t imagine it happening again, so they stayed. And now their homes are flooded again, the next year.

7:56 p.m. — Time for bed. My brain hurts.

Spent: $285.19 – I really only pay half for the mould.

DAY SIX

??:?? — Wake up with a headache. It is still raining and this rain is killing my brain and making me very nauseous because of the pressure. I wanted to try and do some yoga today but I can’t if I feel like this. I will definitely throw up.

6:00 a.m. — I make a small cup of green tea to settle my stomach.

7:25 a.m. — I go through my closet and try to objectively get rid of stuff. This is very hard. I love everything. But I cannot keep it all.. I leave it for another day. I am feeling too dizzy.

8:27 a.m. — Laundry. I dry the clothes and start folding them on the floor.

9:53 a.m. — I can’t take it any more. I pop two pills prescribed by my doctor for my nausea. I try not to take drugs or medication to ‘solve’ the problem but this nausea is starting to mount, and I am close to vomiting. I only take these pills when seriously needed. I’m the same way about pain medication too. They prescribed me pain meds after my C-section when I had Little Bun, and I didn’t take a single pill.

10:13 a.m. — Relief. My nausea is going away. I am not feeling so sick now. I had made a second cup of Hot Chocolate tea but had to dump it in the sink because I couldn’t stomach the idea (no pun intended) of drinking the tea with my headache. The smell made me so sick.

12:56 p.m. — I find three perfect bowls for jewellery keeping, particularly rings. $18.26

Two little bowls in a graphic black and white stripe:

And another one that is very paintbrush-stroke-y.. that is larger.

2:15 p.m. — I want another one of those vegan Crab Burgers. LOL.  I’m addicted. And when it says Limited Time, I am thinking I need to eat this daily until it disappears.

3:03 p.m. — I come home early and feel very very drained. So tired.

5:15 p.m. — I spend the evening half dozing in and out in bed. I am half sleeping, half not so that I don’t ruin my night sleep.

5:40 p.m. — Dinner time. Chicken wings and a salad.

6:37 p.m. — I am dozing in and out of sleep, with Little Bun coming by and asking me questions, telling me things… He wants to involve me in everything he is so cute.

6:46 p.m. — Little Bun refuses to let me run my fingers through his perfect wavy hair, and gets fussy when I even touch a single hair on his head. I want to tell him — WE MADE YOU. Let me touch your hair!!!

7:41 p.m. — Bedtime for real. I sleep solidly.

Spent: $18.26

DAY SEVEN

6:26 a.m. — I wake up so incredibly refreshed. Last night, that half dozing in and out, really helped me get back on track or so it seems. I can’t believe I was half sleeping but I was so sleep deprived that I needed it.

7:10 a.m. — I make a cup of tea, and feed Little Bun morning bread.

8:08 a.m. — I head out to run errands, return things, etc.

10:00 a.m. — I am waiting to return the bread mould but the cash registers are not OPEN? WHAT?….

10:32 a.m. — I finally get to return the item. – $135.20

10:51 a.m. — I go and get suckered into a pretty necklace on sale. Ugh. But it looks far more luxe than the price tag, and like a custom or a Stella & Dot piece. $17.25

12:05 p.m. — Lunchtime.

1:02 p.m. — I watch a few episodes of Seinfeld to relax.

2:30 p.m. — I do all the dishes and I scrub too hard at the oven, and my wrist kills me.

3:47 p.m. — I do a load of laundry.

6:29 p.m. — Time for dinner. I make a comforting bowl of vegan noodles.

7:10 p.m. — I take a hot warm shower… I love that Little Bun is old enough that I can shower in peace.

8:44 p.m. — Time for bed.

Returned: $135.20

Spent: $17.25

———-

Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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14 Comments

  1. Sarah

    I hear you on the fake meat! I am trying to force us to eat at least 2 meatless family dinners per week, and some weeks I just need that crutch. I think some of the fake meat is not any better for the environment – and a lot of our meatless meals still include plenty of cheese. But if I’m able to choose something meatless last-minute, that’s better than resorting to a default meat-based meal!

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      EXACTLY. I really try not to eat the fake stuff but my body / brain craves it, and it is that, cheese or mushrooms. I have no other alternatives and it is better than nothing.

      Reply
  2. mia

    https://www.cpsc.gov/Business–Manufacturing/Business-Education/Business-Guidance/Small-Parts-for-Toys-and-Childrens-Products

    Per the US gov’t, the small parts rule typically pertains to children under three. Little Bun is older than that.

    Reply
      1. mia

        Snakes and Ladders sets (or Chutes and Ladders as it’s branded here in the USA) are totally fine for his age. They’re clearly labeled for Ages 3 and Up by the major retailers and makers.

        Reply
        1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

          I know. TRUST ME. I was losing it.

          Reply
          1. mia

            You know what is interesting is I know quite a few dads who are helicopter parents and overprotective and freak out about everything their child touches and eats. It’s funny because nobody ever talks about dads like this, just moms.

          2. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

            He is a thousand percent over protective. I am as a result, MUCH less so. I am way more relaxed, not around things like sharp knives within his reach, but I am less protective that he does this, that, plays with this or that… It’s LIFE. I did all that as a kid and I never ate glue, swallowed anything that wasn’t food (legos, etc), and turned out fine. Every kid is different.

  3. neurosciency

    you exercised some serious self control this week! more than i have, LOL

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      He is ridiculously overprotective.

      Reply
  4. Jamie

    Um your son is 5 right? That is old enough to know not to put things in his mouth. I’m pretty sure I was playing board games at that age, maybe even a bit younger. Legos are also OK at 5+ age range (or younger) so I definitely side with you on this one. Also, you were supervising him using it. So, I really don’t understand what your partner was going on about. I get wanting to make sure your kid is safe, but that is overkill, IMO.

    He is going to school in September and your partner is not going to be able to control everything he does there.

    Funny to me that your kid does math like a 4th grader but can’t be trusted not to put something in his mouth? I see kids all the time that we overprotected and their parents are not doing them any favours, kids need to make mistakes to learn and taking away any opportunity for that is not helpful. Again, I would feel differently if he was 3 or younger but definitely at his age, I’m sure he already knows better.

    Wish I had advice for you, but every co-parents are going to have somethings they feel differently about and argue about. But, I think you’re right, for what’s its worth, lol (Oh, and I thought that I’d add that I’m a parent of a 4 year old boy!)

    Reply
    1. mia

      I agree with Jamie here. I remember playing dice games in Kindergarten and as far as I know K classes still play dice games.

      Reply
      1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

        I KNOW. This is what is frustrating.

        Reply
    2. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I completely, COMPLETELY agree with you. Listen, I am on board with your logic and reasoning, and he is smart enough to do math like a 4th grader and understand that dice are not meant to be eaten. I am not saying anything more. I have said my piece, and he will play in school and not be over-controlled.

      Reply

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