In the world of Save. Spend. Splurge.: What you learn about your money when you widow at 31

1. Financial Literacy

A sad, but also empowering story that I’d like you all to read to remind yourselves about why getting your financial sh%*#t together is so important. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. DO NOT BE COMPLACENT AND RELY ON ANYTHING OR ANYONE but yourself. Deep down, you need to know that you can handle anything alone. Even if you don’t, and you are interdependent on your partner for the rest of your life, and live happily intertwined in all things, PLEASE have the confidence to rely on yourself.

If you want some inspiration, here is Minted Latte’s roundup of everyone’s “WHY FI” reasons. Mine is at the bottom.

You need to know how to manage finances, save money, and get it together if things go wrong, either within or out of your control. It is just part of being an adult, and this role usually falls onto the guy in a relationship — why? You should both be equally badass at managing your money and life.

You can start, with tracking your money and building your own wealth with The Budgeting Tool (completely revamped, all net proceeds go to charity.) I have been tracking my money for years and here’s an example of the satisfying stats you can see like of my spending since 2009:

2. Fairness

This book Fair Play is life changing for you and your partner, with or without kids. Chock-full of anecdotes, facts, and frankly, a solution at the end of how to reach “Fair Play” between the two of you, seeing as giving your kid a bath a few times a week doesn’t equal the same amount of work it takes to let’s say, make a grocery list and run errands and make dinner. Every task has a value of some sort, and not all tasks are the same.

3. Glass Ceiling

Umm.. you should all read this if you want to know why you’re not getting ahead at work as a woman.

I read a study that said women were more likely to be satisfied with what they were paid versus men. DO NOT BE SATISFIED. Don’t settle for praise and a pat on the head and more work because you’re so incredible at what you do — ask them to prove it, with fat stacks of money. LOTS OF IT.

4. Back it up!

I picked up two of these Seagate 5TB hard drives lately because I need to start moving data like Little Bun photos and videos (over 500GB) off my laptop and onto something else external, so I can free up space and BREATHE. They come in smaller sizes too. My favourite brands are Seagate, Western Digital and Iomega. They have NEVER FAILED ME. Anyone remember when these things were ridiculously huge?

5. Boosted

In addition to asking for more money, you need to be talking more about how awesome you are. Keep your name on the forefront of their minds, talk about your recent wins, your successes and offer opinions and ideas.

I am never surprised in meetings when I say something I know to be 100% true, only to have someone shoot me down, and then re-present that same idea later on as if it was their own. I actually don’t give a F#$K because I get paid so much money that I let it slide (especially if it is the client who does this to me). I’m a consultant. I am not there to snag credit or scream: I TOLD YOU SO, I am there to advise and be diplomatic and tactful. Then I let you dig your own grave if you don’t listen to me. Either way, I get paid.

So women — you need to speak up, and the more often you do it, the more often they see value in your input, the more they’ll think: Oh let’s listen to what she has to say…. and it becomes a habit. I do this even if my ideas and opinions get stolen, and I stay quiet because THEY ALL KNOW WHO SAID IT FIRST, and next time, they’ll listen to me / value my opinion more. That’s how you build your reputation – by speaking up, not hiding. No one sees invisible people.

6. Get Lit

I have been feeling a bit down lately, and I remembered that my friend found light lamps very useful to boosting her mood, giving the room and her insides a soft glow, so I am looking at this table lamp to add to my desk and to help me add more light to my life.