How do you deal with difficult colleagues?
I am having issues with someone in particular at work. She is just so ornery. Her approach is so rough, defensive, and accusatory that it immediately gets my hackles up.
I TRY not to bristle but she just has this approach that makes me want to grit my teeth and tear my hair out.
I am also not the only one she treats like this. I have just been observing and then hearing other colleagues complain about her, and how they go to extreme lengths to avoid working with her.
NOT ONLY THAT, she is a consultant like me. So it irks me even more, and surprises others even more how mean she can be as a person to everyone, considering she is making at least double if not triple their salaries.
It is so incongruent with the rest of us consultants who basically know that it is our job to smile, be polite, professional and accommodating to the ones who help keep us there and sign our cheques. Not necessarily ass-kissing but delivering solid, platinum customer service.
I am trying my hardest to take the high road and remember how people are all different and sometimes I have to suck it up and smile, but it gets harder and harder when you’re busy AF and people all want a piece of you, then you get THIS coming up in your face, starting a fight and basically telling you that your job is not a big deal and she could do it in 30 seconds.
FOR REAL NOW?
YOU CAN DO MY JOB IN 30 SECONDS?
Keep insulting me. Yes, please do. It just makes me angrier.
And the worst part of it is I am TRYING SO HARD not to get caught up in petty office drama and politics, but when people are overloading you, and you’re working overtime, while trying to help everyone, stay nice and friendly, stay calm, get #%*#%) done, be efficient, baby sit others and so on…. it takes ever last bit of you until you are drained completely and your nerves are so frayed that you snap.
I don’t need a break from work but I need a break from people like her, you know?
I don’t mind the actual work itself, I love it when my brain goes into over drive and I’m planning everything out, but I don’t want to deal with people’s baggage, that I then have to control my emotions over and not bring out MY baggage.
Why can’t we just be nice and civilized to each other?
Ask me nicely, Try the carrot / honey approach, not the stick / vinegar way.. it really works better if you’re nice, not demanding and not hassling people every 2 seconds for something that in the end was NOT THAT FREAKIN’ URGENT.
I don’t need to tell you but I sort of lost my $*%@) (professionally) this week.
No screaming, but I had a forceful voice and basically exploded on her after she needled and needled and needled me until I burst.
Professionally, that is, which means no swearing, gritted, clenched teeth and the stress just came out.
I have tried the approach of getting up after something like that and walking around to calm down, taking deep breaths and keeping my mouth shut (all working great by the way), but when you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone like that, you can’t just get up and walk away.
It is worse (image-wise and professionally-speaking) than just going through it and finishing the conversation, isn’t it? Walking out is like a full on – whoaaa… this girl is about to lose it and go postal up in here.
I have gotten better over the years at controlling my temper but my emotions are all over my face and in my voice. I am too much of an expressive open book to become an ice cube at work now.
I am not like that.
I simply can’t turn off my emotions like a faucet. It is both good and bad because I can see it opens people up (how expressive and warm I am), but I also can’t turn it off when I get very angry and stressed.