Whenever someone says: “I’m a feminist”, the immediate thought that was always conjured up in my head is a hippie who goes braless, doesn’t shave anywhere, and wears sexless clothing with Birkenstocks while smirking at all the other women (like myself) who rather enjoy wearing a bit of makeup paired with pretty dresses.
….except I can say that I too, am a feminist.
But I mean, are you really surprised?
EVERYTHING I WRITE ABOUT HAS UNDERTONES OF FEMINISM
My whole blog is essentially about buying the horse and not waiting for that mythical white knight to gallop in and save you from your money woes.
I’m all about taking charge, start a budget to track your expenses and to realize that you can’t wish that everything will turn out fine — you have to plan for it.
I am also pretty militant about women learning to handle their money on their own instead of shuffling it off to someone else and/or not paying their fair share, however that fair share may be agreed-upon and divided up among individual couples.
I for instance, believe in paying 50/50.
Yes, if I fall into a rough financial spot, I can always count on BF to help me out (and vice versa), but ultimately, when we buy anything that we share — food, shelter, utilities, traveling — I ALWAYS fork over my 50% without question (unless it’s a gift, in which case I’m not going to be rude and refuse it).
I talk until I am blue in the face about us women getting some backbone, being confident in your abilities and asking for that goddamn raise because you actually deserve it in comparison to the others you work alongside, and absolutely not because you’re some entitled brat (unfortunately these brats seem to crop up in my Millennial generation).
Of course this is applicable to men as well as women and I really do try my best to balance my views between both so that it can benefit everyone, but ultimately as a woman, I am in the best position to talk about being a woman.
All of that, makes me a feminist.
Maybe not a militant one, but I am someone who believes that women should get paid equal pay for equal work, and I don’t suffer fools lightly who think they can treat me like a bimbo without brains, by calling me “sweetie” or “dear”, thankfully none of which has happened so far, probably due to the expression of professional seriousness I try to keep on my face.
I’ve had my fair share of condescension from older males, no doubt, even BF is sometimes shocked at how they treat me, but I told him it comes with the territory of being a young female, and they’ll just end up regretting that they underestimated me (which has happened a few times).
Note that I am NOT SAYING that women should get paid extra money for being women, just as minorities should NOT be given jobs and extra cash just for being the colour that they are.
I am saying that if I, a woman consultant in a sea of testosterone-charged male consultants, am doing the same job (sometimes better) than these guys, I should be paid as much as they are (and in some cases, MORE).
That’s it. That’s what equal pay for equal work means to me.
If I as a female, don’t put in the work and I am a hopeless headcase who can’t get her work in on time, on budget and as close to perfection as possible, then I absolutely deserve to NOT be paid the same as the guy who is working his ass off next to me.
THE DEFINITION OF FEMINIST HAS CHANGED
Being a feminist used to mean garnering a lot of rather nasty, backhanded comments about how they want to be like men, when in fact, it is the farthest from the truth that you can get.
I don’t want to be like a man at all.
For one thing, I already have enough problems with my own female hormones.
For another, I don’t need to also deal with all the psychological and emotional crap that comes with being a man in society, with pressures such as bringing home ALL the bacon, keeping a stiff upper lip at all times and giving up your chance to be a fabulous, involved and loving father just because you feel this need to provide all the time.
Then on top of all that, you’re supposed to ask the girl out, pay for various dinners, court her and navigate trying to be respectful of her without ending up permanently in the friendzone?
No thank you.
I want to be a 100% woman, but treated equally with the same respect that I sometimes have to wrangle out of people with a verbal headlock and spine of steel — nothing more, nothing less.
A FEMINIST DOESN’T HAVE TO BE UGLY TOO
I guess the worst of it all, is that women are scared to call themselves feminists, in fear of being typecasted as that Birkenstock-wearing sexless cavewoman I mentioned above (although I will mention that Birkenstocks ARE very comfortable in the right situations and I do look like an asexual hobo when I travel, but purely for practical and comfortable reasons).
Instead of continuing to stigmatize “feminism” or “feminists” as a dirty word to hush up, we women owe it to ourselves to make an effort to SAY we are feminists in an effort to correct those who start to verbally rip in on those “unshaven bra-burning feminists”, even while we are dressed in girly frocks, high heels and wearing makeup.
…Oh, and men can be feminists too, and anyone in between who believes in women being truly equal partners in their world and society.
It isn’t a term strictly given to you only if you happen to posses life-giving body parts.
This is the one area where what you wear does not totally define and say who you are.
Just as how other minorities have taken insulting, ethnic slurs and turned it into a way to express brotherhood, sisterhood and community, we should do the same.
To put it bluntly..
A feminist is someone who believes that we should all be treated as equals, for better or for worse.
..for all that means in the good and the bad; with that, women should be under the same expectations and rules that men are, as well as being given the same freedoms.