Is being nice just another form of sexism?
I am a pretty strong activist for feminism which if you type “define: feminism” into the Google Search bar, you will get:
- Do I look like your assistant? (I have stopped saying “slave” or “secretary” because they imply completely different, unintentional meanings)
- Women experience the same things!!! It is no different for us!
- So how come I am “hysterical” but you’re “assured & confident” when we are saying the same things?
*I say language matters because if you just think about it, the words you use, shape how you see the world.
What I really don’t like is hearing other women complain at how SEXIST men are because they hold open doors for them, let them have a seat, and all these other myriad of behaviours I term societal politeness.
What’s the big deal?
I don’t think being polite to another person is a form of sexism.
JUST SAY THANK YOU, THEY’RE BEING NICE
I just say “thank you” when someone holds a door open for me (particularly if it is Baby Bun in a stroller and I’m struggling).
In fact, I am GRATEFUL that someone noticed me and my plight and wanted to help me out.
I HAVE HAD WOMEN HELP ME TOO
I have had other women help me, and not just hold open the door.
I have had them go all the way up the metro stairs, look back with a troubled look, and come all the way back down, asking me: Besoin d’aide? (Need help?) and carry my entire stroller singlehandedly up the stairs in heels while I am gripping onto Baby Bun’s hand and helping him walk up the stairs.
Then they go off on their day, saying: Bonne chance! (Good luck!) because THEY KNOW what it’s like to live in a child-unfriendly city (most cities, really.. I’d love it if they would install little mini toilets for children and mini sinks, in addition to changing tables and hooks to hold bags in stalls).
I TOO, HAVE ALSO HELPED MEN AND WOMEN
I see a guy struggling? I open the door and hold it.
Do you think he’s screaming “SEXIST PIG!” at me and getting angry?
I see a woman trying to get through and having a tough time? I help her carry her other bags across.
Is she getting mad, and saying: “STOP DOING THAT!”
This is called being polite to each other and showing that you care for others even if it does nothing for you personally.
So if someone helps you, smile and say thank you. Don’t get mad at them. They’re being a nice, fellow, human being.