A Week of Money: Where I get my own job ‘mansplained’ by a schmuck
??:?? — Bathroom break for Baby Bun.
??:?? — ANOTHER ONE? Ugh. I’m going to be so tired. He actually wakes up, goes to the bathroom and checks to see if it’s still nighttime before going back to bed.
6:50 a.m. — Baby Bun wakes up LATE and I am so happy. I didn’t sleep perfectly well last night but I slept better than usual, even with the two bathroom breaks. He pees a lot, this is what everyone at school tells me.
7:00 a.m. — I call my friend to chat again. I try to take Baby Bun out to the park to keep him occupied but my partner crossly tells me if he’s sick he isn’t to leave the apartment AT ALL, even to go downstairs to walk around at the gym. I don’t want to fight about it, so I just take Baby Bun down the elevator and back up, after asking him if it’s okay if we go back home.
8:33 a.m. — I finish talking to my friend, we talk mostly skincare and near the end I finally remember I wanted to tell her that if my contract doesn’t get renewed for next year, we’ll move to France for a year and hang out. I’m thinking Lyons…
8:38 a.m. — I come out and talk to my partner, and we solidify our plans — yes, if we BOTH are not working, we’ll pack up and leave for a year to hang out and travel around France, eating and hanging out.
8:48 a.m. — I log in and check my emails. My Dagne Dover bag sold! YAY! I immediately package it up as securely as possible (no conventional box will hold this shape), and I put it by the door to mail tomorrow.
9:44 a.m. — I’m done packing the bag. I’m pleased with my efforts, it’s basically wrapped to an inch of its life. I log on and start cleaning up emails.
10:08 a.m. — I call my mom and chat until my cellphone runs out and dies on me. I have a hard talk with my mom after I promise her that YES I did buy all those items but mention that once my aunt is set up she does have savings she can draw on to deplete to pay for things. We can’t suddenly add another person to our bills and not know when or where it is going to stop. I like helping and want to but it is now a drain I did not plan for. That, and she is now asking for things that I consider to be luxuries. We have basically set her up completely and now she should be living as she did before, on her own. I decide to set her up on Amazon and when she needs something it will debit her account instead. It can’t be a free-for-all-someone-else-is-paying sort of situation. Honestly. My mom quietly agrees but still feels terrible and wants to help because she feels bad for her. I remind her that she has savings and we would never let her die alone with nothing but she should be drawing on said savings and has an income coming in to help.
11:20 a.m. — I then get Baby Bun set up and feed him his soup while he plays in his house (yes he has a tiny cardboard house).
11:58 a.m. — After he eats, I have some pasta which is so flavourful and wonderful with the best olive oil from France. A colleague once bought the bottle but cried at the $30 price tag for a small amount. My partner sniffed that you don’t need to DRINK the oil, it is for flavour and just a little is more than enough.
1:15 p.m. — I let my stomach rest for an hour and a half, knowing I’ll have a yoga class I want to escape to. Baby Bun senses I’m about to bolt and starts clinging to me.
1:28 p.m. — I manage to get him down for his nap before leaving (yess! Less tears!!), and since he is sick he is feeling a bit clingy and doesn’t want me to go anywhere without him. He wants constant cuddling and wants to be carried.
1:38 p.m. — I get myself ready and decide on a purse instead of trying to stuff everything in my pockets. I plan on trying out the burrito place around the corner after class, so I know I will want to spend some time and read while I eat or something before going home.
1:49 p.m. — I wonder if my partner is planning on a pizza as I spy a ball of mozzarella in the fridge.
2:22 p.m. — I head to yoga and have a good class but my legs are stiff and I can’t do any of the poses. I give in, listen to my body and let it be. I’ll be back tomorrow.
3:42 p.m. — I head back and wonder if I should stop to get something to eat and decide against it, worried that Baby Bun is crying alone at home wondering where Mommy is after his nap.
4:19 p.m. — I get in and he is fine. Of course he is. And I’m starving!! OK no problem I’ll get a burger or a burrito tomorrow instead. Just need to suck it up.
4:22 p.m. — I check the fridge for eggs and my partner bought none!! Gah. Can’t even go to my snack of eggs. I eat a banana instead.
5:17 p.m. — Baby Bun helps me clean up and I start on dishes and to scrub the stove down. The stove takes 1 hour alone because the sauce really dried on there. I finish, exhausted.
6:56 p.m. — I then wash my face (I forgot!!) and go through a skincare routine.
7:11 p.m. — 3 new pimples. Damn it. I get organized for tomorrow, organizing my purse, laying out an outfit and realizing that my skirts are now too big. I need to get them tailored.
8:01 p.m. — I am ready and just exhausted now. I need to sleep. I go down early and doze while Baby Bun starts reading books to me while I’m sleeping.
8:41 p.m. — I go to sleep after I wake up to do our book reading and explaining routine.
Saved: $20 AT LEAST – I really wanted that burrito
6:30 a.m. — I wake up and Baby Bun immediately starts on his No School song and dance. He REALLY wants to stay at home with Daddy.
6:32 a.m. — I sigh, grit my teeth and get him ready with faked happiness to make sure he doesn’t feel like I am upset or else he will get worse.
6:41 a.m. — I quickly down some matcha green tea, grab my lunch, make a mental note to buy a burrito today (finally!) as a treat, and then lug (yes LUG OR DRAG) a screaming crying Bun to the car and strap him in. Sigh.
7:09 a.m. — We cuddle a bit when we get out of the car in the garage but he is still upset. He sobs when I leave him at preschool.
7:39 a.m. — I get to work LATE because of all of this and can’t leave until later. Groan. My manager gets in at the same time and we get coffee together.
8:19 a.m. — I been working and it is just one thing after another.
9:45 a.m. — I take a break and mail a package because I sold the Dagne Dover (yay AGAIN!!) I’m sad to see it go but I’m happy it is going to a new and better home where it will be loved.
10:18 a.m. — I get back to work and do more work on a few documents before emailing them out.
11:02 a.m. — My manager wants me to take him to an ethnic grocery store because he doesn’t know where to go to buy some sauces for his wife to do that recipe I gave him, along with some decorative boxes as well. I tell him maybe we’ll go on Friday.
11:48 a.m. — I head to yoga to get there quite early where I stretch and try to relax my mind.
11:49 a.m. — Crap!! Forgot my clothes!!
11:51 a.m. — I run back to the office and snag my workout clothes. I need a better system.
12:09 p.m. — Made it just as the class was starting their Oms.
12:36 p.m. — I go through the class and collapse halfway through a pose. My arms are not strong today.
1:22 p.m. —I head back to the office but decide to drop by and pick up a quesadilla (vegetarian) everyone raved about on Yelp. $17.19
1:44 p.m. — The quesadilla is good — sweet potato, avocado and cheese. Can’t go wrong but wish they had cilantro, some tomato and something FRESH to brighten up all the heaviness (the salsa tasted weird and I don’t like sour cream so I dumped it). I make a note to make something similar one day the way I like it. I’ll try another platter next time to see how they hold up to my favourite vegetarian chain.
2:18 p.m. — I polish off the the pasta I brought too, and I continue working.
2:22 p.m. — I get an email that a spot opened up WHERE I WORK. Coveted position!!! I have wanted this spot since I started and people have had to wait months for it. The guy who runs the place gave me priority because of Baby Bun (he remembers when his kids were that age too) but also because he is a good guy and I’m very, very charming. I make a note to bring him a gift for the holidays.
2:48 p.m. — I run over and happily grab my new garage badge.
3:15 p.m. — I spend a bit of time chatting with the guy (he is so nice), and we compare notes on our boys.
4:01 p.m. — Back at the office I get MANSPLAINED MY OWN JOB TO ME BY SOME GUY. I knew it happened, I just didn’t think it could happen to me. I am in disbelief. I almost want to ask him if he is mansplaining but decide to not make waves … FOR NOW. I am not extended yet and sometimes as a consultant, it is better to catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Also, the Director happened to be hiding behind some cubicles and MAY HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO ME AND HIM. Although I can’t help myself and I did indirectly tell him that he can stop explaining my own job to me because I have been doing it for my entire career, and he (probably) has zero experience in what he is going on about.
4:21 p.m. — I get rid of this schmuck and get back to work. My partner is going to have a riot with this story when I get home.
4:55 p.m. — I leave after a few more emails. I pick up Baby Bun and beeline for the library. I drop off his Kissing Hand book and I pick up yoga DVDs for my partner to try out.
5:25 p.m. — I head home and begin organizing my papers and thoughts. I have so many little To Dos to do. I have to just knock them out but Baby Bun keeps clinging to my leg and wanting to play “Baby” where I wrap him up and cuddle him.
5:55 p.m. — I prepare a cheque to pay my taxes. I grab a new yoga top for tomorrow (I sweated through mine today), and wonder if I could leave a bunch of fresh clothes there each week and pick them up at the end for laundry. Maybe not. It might smell.
7:15 p.m. — I go through my To Do list, order Life of Fly by Magnus for my mother (she loves books like this), and make a mental note to review that vegetarian place I ate at. I’m sort of craving a major burger or ramen now though, I need to rectify this on the weekend. $18.91
8:07 p.m. — Bedtime starts, and I recount my mansplaining story to my partner, which makes him burst out laughing. He knows what I am saying, and he out of all the guys I know, may be the most feminist of all.
8:47 p.m. — We go to sleep after our routine. He wants the SAME BOOKS every night. I have started making up sentences now.
6:00 a.m. — I wake up and Baby Bun happily proclaims it Daddy Home Day, but my partner has a meeting with the directors so he can’t stay at home. Baby Bun is immediately disappointed but I tell him at school he can have treats. He doesn’t want them. He wants to stay at home.
6:15 a.m. — I sigh but manage to get him to agree if he eats strawberries, then it is now an edible contract that binds him to and confirms his intention to go to school with Mommy. He doesn’t quite understand the legalities but he nods eagerly at the word: strawberries…
[ How I bribed my son to go to school ]
6:15 a.m. — He eats a bowl of strawberries and then we get going.
6:35 a.m. — I dress in my lovely $60 Acne Studio steal (love this dress), and we drive to the NEW garage where it connects directly to my work. SO HAPPY.
11:20 a.m. — I get to work and it is nonstop until Yoga. I flee early to enjoy the walk there.
1:25 p.m. — I get back and turns out a Director was looking for me to explain something in a meeting. Well should have invited me to the meeting in the first place then!! I don’t mention my yoga but it was at lunch. Also, he wasn’t blaming me per se but I don’t even bother to defend myself (nothing to defend). I just explain the situation and history and all is good. Never apologize unless it IS your fault. He was more mad at himself than at me.
1:45 p.m. — Back at work. My team lead sheepishly says he didn’t bother checking what it was with me, and he couldn’t answer the Director in my stead anyway. No worries, I tell him. It’s cool.
3:57 p.m. — Just as I go to leave the office, 3 work fails come in. I delete things by accident and everyone is miffed. Oops. Oh well. I’m human. I turn pink and apologize but in the end it was a non-issue. Hmmmph.
4:45 p.m. — My other issue doesn’t resolve itself. WTF. I’m tearing my hair out. I wish I knew what it was doing. I work on it until I can’t any longer and beeline to preschool to grab Baby Bun.
5:11 p.m. — We drive home (the clouds look ominous) and I hope my partner brought some food home. At least I’m driving from one garage to another so it isn’t TOO bad even if it rains.
5:24 p.m. — We reach home and my pants for yoga arrived. YAY! I try them on eagerly and they fit like a glove (high-waisted) and look great.
5:48 p.m. — My partner comes home as I am working through my To Do list and notes to myself during the day. He has to change the oil in my car this weekend too. I remind him and email him to be sure he has a record somewhere and not just a verbal “Hey can you do this?“.
6:37 p.m. — We sit down to eat some quail roasted on the grill, I do the dishes and make myself a cup of spearmint tea. Hopefully this is the end of the reign of acne ruining my face. I have not had a new bump in a day, knock on wood.
8:11 p.m. — I suspect the reasons why I had acne are as follows:
- I ate terribly (curry is very fattening for my skin and I ate it twice a day for a week)
- I tried new products from the brand Fresh that clogged my pores
- I went for a facial twice and I suspect it irritated my skin even more
- I believed these “experts” that my skin was “dehydrated” (they love using that term) and I needed to load moisture on when in fact my skin doesn’t like a lot of it because it clogs my pores and a few drops of hyaluronic acid from Paula’s Choice is all I need plus a mix of Omega 3 + AHA 8% lotion as a moisturizer which is phenomenal
- I tried oil to milk makeup removers but as I wear mineral sunscreen, I need makeup wipes to really get that stuff off my skin
- I needed to exfoliate more (daily with ORG Mineral which is my holy grail) to keep my skin turning over constantly
- When I get bumps I cannot use clay masques to dry them out
- The only acne products I should use is BHA with salicylic acid as a toner and benzoyl peroxide as a thin layer at night every other night
- Avoid Peter Thomas Roth products as well; they worked way better than Fresh but the Cloud Cream was too moisturizing for me, the Acne cream made me break out even more and the Enzyme Exfoliant clogged my skin way more than just the simple ORG Mineral Exfoliant which also feels and smells better to boot
- When I get home I have to immediately clean my skin to let it breathe
- Keep drinking matcha green tea in the morning and taking my two pills – BioSil and Fermented Cod Liver (I stopped and my skin rebelled)
- Add a cup of spearmint tea nightly for hormonal acne
…. a lot of stuff eh??? But that is what caused my breakouts for a MONTH with daily bumps and no end in sight.
Update: And no more almond butter. My newest chin bump confirms it.
8:35 p.m. — I get Baby Bun ready for bed after setting out my outfit and packing my new yoga gear into the bag (so excited to wear the new pants tomorrow!!!).
??:?? — Feet in my face.
??:?? — Baby Bun thigh in my face.
6:39 a.m. — I wake up and realize my partner has an appointment so he can’t come home until 9 if we want Baby Bun to stay at home. It is raining cats and dogs but if I am going to work, to get a spot I need to go early. I decide to take him to school.
6:47 a.m. — I make a cup of green tea and put another helping in my glass Cuppow to go. I’ll heat it up at work as it is much easier to make matcha at home than at work. Baby Bun wants to help me pour in chia seeds but I’m not in the mood for it today (the seeds I mean, not the offer of helping). He helps me take pills instead.
7:05 a.m. — I pick off some fresh basil from our organic plant outside for my pasta. Baby Bun disapproves of my shoe choice and makes me wear my striped ones instead (I have to break them in anyway, I bought a full size smaller instead of half a size smaller).
7:25 a.m. — We get to the garage and Baby Bun protests school but doesn’t cry when he sits down for a snack when I go to leave.
7:35 a.m. — I head into work, and start working. I finish a bunch of emails, people finally reply (late!!) that we have the green light to move ahead and I’m pretty happy.
8:40 a.m. — I spend the next hour procrastinating on cleaning up emails and nonsense before finally finishing a document I need to cover the project plan.
8:46 a.m. — I make another cup of tea and then take a break to stretch my legs and pick up a document from the printers.
9:10 a.m. — I get back to my desk and pop a tablespoonful of raw cacao nibs into my mouth. I love the lemony flavour and tang now and I hear it is full of antioxidants. I complete my document and make my way up for a meeting.
11:15 a.m. — I come back down and continue working until it is time for yoga. I crack the whip (figuratively speaking) on a few people before going. It feels like babysitting sometimes and I think parents have a better handle on such things if they aren’t already insanely organized and used to following up and managing others. I’m not a manager or lead or anything for this with ANY title but I do tend to instil some sort of trust in directors and leads to give up the reins because I can be trusted to be organized for them.
11:40 a.m. — Oh yeah! Before I forget…I make an appointment for the dentist with their earliest after 5 p.m. being in OCTOBER. I take it anyway.
11:45 a.m. — I quickly jet off to yoga, planning on dropping my bags off in the car with my sweaty clothes on the way back so I’m hands-free at the end of the day. At yoga, I change, claim my favourite spot and then clean up my To Do list before class.
1:15 p.m. — I beeline back to the office avoiding the temptation of wanting to eat out all the time. I eat all of my pasta and promise that if I still am hungry then I will buy something. I finish the huge bowl and it is filling enough so I save my money for another day (tomorrow?)
2:27 p.m. — I work and think a bit about Baby Bun on and off. He hasn’t been sleeping well but he slept until almost 7 this morning with only very little roundhouse kicking to the face and into my back, and trying to climb on top and sleep on my back then my stomach to use me as a pillow / couch during the night. It is cute but he is HEAVY.
3:45 p.m. — My friend messages me and asks if I am still coming over with Baby Bun for a playdate. OH YEAH. I completely forgot about this playdate (she doesn’t work so she has plenty of time, honestly… she just fills it up with stuff like playdates and enriching activities like a good Pinterest Mommy). I quickly message back that I am still on, and will leave in 10 minutes. Promise.
4:15 p.m. — Wouldn’t you know it, I get snagged on an issue and leave 25 minutes later, hustling to get Baby Bun out of the preschool, and into the car to get to her place. Thankfully we avoid all the traffic (there was none today, surprisingly).
4:34 p.m. — I blot my face in the car. Yuck. Look at this sheet… completely covered:
4:35 p.m. — At her place we have our playdate. Baby Bun eats his preschool snack, and the boys play independently and sort of with each other, not really, but at least they’re quiet. Baby Bun only starts to lose it when her son wants his toy back and he’s playing with it. He starts shoving the other boy and sobbing, I step in to handle the situation.
5:40 p.m. — I finally bribe him to calm down with some Banana Bread she JUST baked. Oops. Forgot to ask her if it was OK. I just assumed we’d get a piece or two. Maybe it wasn’t for us? OH WELL TOO LATE NOW. Social etiquette and manners faux pas aside, Baby Bun focuses with laser intensity on this Banana Bread Mommy Has Promised, and doesn’t stop asking me for it ALL THE WAY HOME.
6:07 p.m. — At home, he hassles me for the Banana Bread.
6:10 p.m. — Still asking.
6:23 p.m. — Is NOT deterred by the promise of eating a delicious dinner of duck confit with some fresh vegetables. HE WANTS HIS DANG PROMISED BANANA BREAD.
7:13 p.m. — We finish dinner, I do the dishes. (And yes, he asked every 15 minutes for this bread and I had to keep telling him AFTER DINNER it is TOO HOT.)
8:07 p.m. — Baby Bun has given up hope there is any Banana Bread. Maybe he imagined it, he thinks. He forgets and stops asking.
8:20 p.m. — I go through my nightly skincare routine. I have to cut back on eating almond butter, it is giving me acne, I have just confirmed it with this new bump I got today. It is too rich for my skin.
8:47 p.m. — I surprise him with the Banana Bread and he happily eats it with me.
??:?? — Squealing. Blankets came off.
??:?? — Squealing. Blankets came off. Round 2.
??:?? — Squealing. Blankets came off. Round 3
??:?? — Oh this one is a foot in my back and then his hand / arm flops on my face.
??:?? — Now he wants to sleep in between my legs in the cocoon made by the blanket I have over me because it’s warm and cosy.
6:46 a.m. — This child is waking up later and later due to the fact that he DOESN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT. He keeps squealing, shifting, twisting, turning like a little tornado, the blankets come off, he gets cold, he whines again… ARG. Then he is freezing in the morning (his arms are cold), and his chest gets cold and he starts coughing.
6:59 a.m. — My partner crossly tells me no more play dates with the kids who are always sick (in my friend’s defense, her kid was NOT SICK), because Baby Bun is hacking up a lung this morning (WHICH HE IS, but it is due to his wiggly bedtime sleeping and kicking off the covers). I don’t say anything and just bite my tongue. I’ll have to sneak him out tomorrow morning for his swim lesson at 8 a.m. and not say anything.
7:10 a.m. — I make it out of the house after making two green teas and bolting. Baby Bun started clinging near the end because he still wants me to stay at home with him (THE ULTIMATE in his world) but I peel his fingers off the door before closing it, then angrily tell him on the other side to leave the door knobs alone because Mommy can’t lock it.
7:40 a.m. — At work. I flop onto my chair. I also decide to cancel my yoga today at 1:30, it feels like it is too late and somehow I have a feeling I’m going to be B-U-S-Y today.
9:20 a.m. — I am re-considering renewing for yoga at the end of the month. See, only two classes are worth taking. The other teachers are confusing and not as good, and I DO NOT want to go to a class where I get mad afterwards. So each class would instead of costing me $5, cost me $11.50 each time I go if I went twice a week. Is it worth it? I guess it is just a way to get me out of the office and to exercise because I otherwise would not be doing either except to go stuff my face with food around the corner (very bad). With yoga, I feel guilty for the time spent there, so I tend not to buy anything to eat to steel my resolve at staying healthy…. Sigh.
11:02 a.m. — I work nonstop (like Whack-a-Mole here with urgent issues today), and when I look up, it’s time for lunch. I quickly grab my pasta, and go savour it. I was planning on reading more of my newest novel Modern Lovers by Emma Straub (not sure what I think of it yet, am giving it 3 chapters before I stop), but I really just want to get this stuff done.
11:22 a.m. — Working.
1:08 p.m. — I take a quick break from working and quickly drop off my packages to return puzzles I got for Baby Bun. My partner does not approve of the pictures of them, saying it is too much of one colour (the animals are proportionally big) or another and not interesting enough. Fair enough. I still think Ravensburger is the best puzzle maker out there hands-down. -$55.17
1:12 p.m. — On the way back, I just happen to innocently veer off onto a side street with a burrito shop I have wanted to try for a while (What!?!?? don’t judge, I am just passing by and LOOKING at their options)… and head inside to see what they have, but am stopped by the long line snaking out the door. OK.. not going to get a burrito. Will wait until next week, and go SUPER early or much later in the afternoon.
1:44 p.m. — Back at the office. I review my list and realize I have to withdraw money from one bank to put in another. I’d do an e-transfer but that costs money ($2.50), and withdrawing the actual cash is free. So.. FREE IT IS. It’s also a significant amount ($700) so it can go to paying some bills this month.
2:18 p.m. — Back at work, I run upstairs for 2 back to back meetings.
3:48 p.m. — I run to the bank after my meetings and withdraw the money.
3:55 p.m. — I go to the other bank and deposit the money in. Yay. All done.
4:15 p.m. — Back at work again, looky, it’s time to go! I pack up and head to the library to go through blog stuff. I have no idea how this happened but my Paypal account has just been left as-is (I have even been shopping with it, buying all this stuff last month), and I have around to $800 in there. I ponder removing it, or just leaving it and using it to pay for things that I buy across the border to avoid paying cross-currency exchange fees.
4:45 p.m. — OMG how cute is this little kid at the library? HE IS IN A MINI SUPERMAN SUIT WITH FAKE MUSCLES AND EVERYTHING. WHAT A CUTIE!!!! I want to go up to him and tell him how cute he is and hug him but that is creepy right? They don’t know I’m a Mommy and I don’t have my Baby Bun with me, so it would be kind of weird.
5:06 p.m. — How is it 5 already? I need to leave in half an hour. I have tons of stuff to get done at home. And I miss The Bun. I keep putting off the blog work for next Saturday, next Saturday… but I am just trying to enjoy my Saturdays off without Baby Bun, and I have so many activities I want to do instead, namely, relax, and walk around.
5:17 p.m. — My partner emails me asking for some photos I took last week from our farm adventure picking tomatoes to show his family. I make a note to do it this weekend.
5:26 p.m. — I still need to try and find 2 more yoga tops that are HIGH-NECKED, loose around the body but not so loose that it flips up in my face in Downward Dog, and not so thick that I sweat in it, but a nice thin cotton. I have to return the Lolë ones I bought because the salesperson annoyed me when I got them, and I don’t want to give them my money.
5:47 p.m. — Oh. I have an IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) consultation tomorrow for my skin. Couldn’t have come at a better time. My skin is ready to be rejuvenated. My budget is maximum $500 for this.
6:13 p.m. — I get home and I see my partner’s car in the garage. I pull in and am surprised to see both of them standing there. It takes my partner a few minutes before he realizes I’m there and says with the air of a tired parent: “He threw up in the car.” I squint and see Baby Bun covered in vomit. Ugh. I swear, I can smell my rank baby boy from here.
6:17 p.m. — I manage to park the car after Baby Bun is led away to a safe spot and I hand my partner a pack of Baby wet wipes to clean up the car (I bought these from Seventh Generation but I am only telling you because I don’t want you to buy them, as they leave fuzz behind when you wipe things down). Oh the stench of vomit. My stomach rolls at it. I hold my breath and take Baby Bun’s hand.
6:20 p.m. — I lead Baby Bun up and grab our packages first (yes, really, I’m so immune to this stuff now of bodily fluids as a parent that I do not want to get upstairs, clean him, then re-dress and come back down).
6:21 p.m. — Oh yay! My Banana Republic gift card for the item I returned for about $320 without the receipt came in… now I can go shopping with less of a guilty conscience….
6:23 p.m. — I pick up my box of Davids Tea as well from the doorman (keeping Baby Bun FAR AWAY from any other human contact), as I had stocked up hard at 20% off!, and we finally go upstairs.
6:25 p.m. — I get in the door and IMMEDIATELY start the laundry of vomit covered clothes immediately. We do not want to let that stink rot over night.
6:30 p.m. — I convince Baby Bun to take a bath after 10 minutes, and giving him a sticker, AND bribing him with a scrubby brush to play with in the bathtub (I was desperate as he really stinks, and not even squeeze bottles or the promise of the otherwise elusive hand mirror in the tub worked this time).
6:31 p.m. — I get him in the bath and add some shampoo to make bubbles (he loves this!) and scrub all the vomit off him. Yuck. I re-fill the tub twice.
6:55 p.m. — After the bath, I log in to check my minutes (600 left and 9 days left for my call tomorrow with my friend).
6:57 p.m. — I quickly email my friend to cancel our boys’ swim lesson tomorrow, citing Baby Bun being sick and vomiting; she was totally trying to make me feel bad when I had messaged this morning after leaving Baby Bun with his father, a bit unsure with him coughing and wanting to cancel, but then she probably felt horrified that Baby Bun was ACTUALLY SICK so she backtracks her comment and says she didn’t mean to make me feel bad in her message. Look, I am not a flaker. I never flake on things, but he is actually vomiting.
7:17 p.m. — We settle down for some chicken and olive bread with tomatoes and onions. He doesn’t eat much (not normal) and climbs down early pleading to play “Baby” where he puts a pillow down on my lap and I cuddle him with my legs.
7:25 p.m. — We play ‘Baby’ while I make notes. Tomorrow I have to return those tops or else I’ll have a store credit (No!!! Anything but that!!) and I need to find more yoga tops (at least 3) and go to my IPL consultation. Oh and eat a vegan burger (I don’t really like “real” burgers with minced beef or ramen tomorrow. Or pho. And drop my skirts off to be tailored. SO MUCH TO DO.
(This is my own vegan burger without bread I made at home, with my recipe here: Vegan burgers for Meat-Eaters)
7:43 p.m. — My partner wanders out after cleaning up a bit in the kitchen and excitedly says he wants to go back to school next year and take a few courses IN PHYSICS. “Why would you ever want to do that“, I ask him…. and he says: “Well it sounds like fun“…. (which I repeated in my head with a heavy dose of sarcasm obviously). Until I realized he was SERIOUS. Ummmm okay. Shopping is fun for me, blogging, reading.. but not PHYSICS. Oh to each their own, and I encourage him by explaining how our education system here works with courses, credits and semesters. He nods and picks out a few intro courses to start with.
8:03 p.m. — I want to leave the dishes but know I shouldn’t be lazy. I shift Baby Bun off me and foist him off on his father with an app for flags (this kid amazes me, even with similar-looking flags and so on, he knows at least 50 if not 100 of them). I could not name half of these things, his brain is like a sponge.
8:33 p.m. — Dishes done. I clean up the area, and then get Baby Bun started on bedtime. He now wants to play even more, apparently he slept quite a lot today from being sick — he went back to sleep after I left, he slept after his mid-afternoon milk, he had a long nap.. etc etc.
8:53 p.m. — We do our bedtime routine (takes 15 minutes or so), and then he falls asleep pretty easily while cuddling me. I close my eyes and conk out within minutes.
6:30 a.m. — Baby Bun woke up “late”. I still wanted to sleep in but he pulls me up. I give him his milk, and crawl back into bed, this time snuggling with my partner, and Baby Bun just LOSES IT. “NO MOMMY AND DADDY!!!”, he half shrieks while drinking his milk. I tell him that we’re cuddling and he has to deal with it. He has started to grow jealous of any kind of Mommy & Daddy relationship and is going through a phase of separating us as much as possible. Baby Bun finally calms down and drinks his milk, resigned to the fact that his parents love each other and he has to share Mommy (this is what it really boils down to, sharing Mommy with someone else).
6:43 p.m. — My partner sleepily tells me he signed up for a plot of land to grow food on next year. I said “OK”. I suspect we will mostly grow mini tomatoes and a few little things that we hate paying for in the stores (too expensive).
7:09 a.m. — We both now get up, and I message my friend who is working on a WORK report on a WEEKEND having woken up at 5 a.m. Did you just read how many crazy things to me were listed in that one sentence? Work? Weekend? Voluntary wakeup at 5 a.m.!? Anyway. We had sort of half planned to do a call early morning before 8 a.m. but it ended up going too late for the both of us, because I started working on our household monthly budget, and became too engrossed to stop.
7:32 a.m. — I finally get around to drinking the teas I made this morning, and Baby Bun helps me refill my jars with my David’s Tea order.
8:38 a.m. — My partner takes my car and leaves to get its oil changed and to fill it up with gas (a two-fer!), because it is cheaper where he is going and if he is going to be there anyway, why not help me out?
8:51 a.m. — I log in and am horrified my site has completely crashed for my books. Ugh. I do not need this nonsense. I think switching servers was what did it. I try to revert back the situation. We’ll see in 24 hours. At least the main blog is up and running, but my books — well just email me to buy them for now, please. I’m sorry. I’m a technical moron who hasn’t paid attention to anything but Family + Career in the past few months and dropped the ball.
9:21 a.m. — I spend time creating a new idea that has been germinating for a while that I’ve been meaning to get to; for email subscribers only (you can sign up for my newsletter here), I want to start sending out separate-from-blog-or-social-media inspirations, notes, cool things I’ve seen (personally written every month) in addition to daily posts about “new posts on the blog”. Here’s an example of my first crack at this new idea…. and if you like it, sign up here.
10:08 a.m. — I tear myself away from my website issues (very hard!), and I start making a To Do list:
- Go to IPL appointment (MUST NOT FORGET!, I underline it twice)
- Find more yoga tops
- Return yoga tops I bought from Lolë (they are designed in Montréal but I don’t like the brand and the clothing is not that great)
- Buy conditioner that doesn’t stink of perfume (L’Oreal, you disappoint me)
- Buy more J&J oil blotting sheets
- Check out Banana Republic offerings – I have about $320 to spend of money that I could not recuperate back as a refund (that was a lame move, BR…)
- Eat some ramen / pho / vegan burger – whatever I feel like when I’m there
- If I have time — return a friend’s portable car seat at her door. I hate porting this thing around.
- Bring my pretty faux suede skirts in to be tailored (see below, I have this same skirt in 3 colours):
10:22 a.m. — I decide to pre-check out the Banana Republic offerings, and am horrified at how ugly these pieces are from the Olivia Palermo collaboration. I mean, FLARED BELL BOTTOM PANTS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The only two pieces that I could see other people buying would be this trench, and this military jacket. The rest is just ugly AF.
10:23 a.m. — I can’t stop looking, it’s like a trainwreck. Flared bell bottom pants (in leather no less), military jackets that actually look like military jackets (who wants to frog step all over the city?); I mean I love me a good military-INSPIRED item, but I would never ever buy one that makes me look like I’m actually part of Napoleon’s army. Then mixed in, is brocade, and hideous paisley prints and dull autumn colours. Maybe Olivia can pull it off because she could wear a burlap sack and look hot, but the rest of us humans would just look ridiculous. I cross Banana Republic off my list of To Do errands today. I’ll wait and keep that $320 until something decent comes along. HIDEOUS.
11:36 a.m. — I eat lunch with my partner of some cheese and bread (Baby Bun eats his share even after polishing off a bowl of vegan tomato stew and bread), and then I get ready to escape.
11:56 a.m. — Before I go to my appointment, I transfer $300 of my funds to my web hosting account to keep it topped up. Why not.
12:07 p.m. — Also….I initially said $500 was my budget but I forgot about tip and taxes… so let’s say under $1000.
12:10 p.m. — I put on a simple tank, forgo the sunscreen and wear a hat instead, and head out the door in a super casual outfit (for me). $2.25
12:50 p.m. — I get to my appointment 10 minutes early and she is so sweet! I get the IPL treatment and she passes it over my face which feels like hot air with little electrical currents. Not at all painful except for my forehead which heats up very quickly and I felt some discomfort (she lowered the level).
1:32 p.m. — When it comes time to pay, having chosen the 6 sessions x $89 package and with tip (15%) and taxes in (15%) it comes out to $706.21
1:45 p.m. — Ouch. Anyway, she sees the tip, her eyes grow big and she is overwhelmed because she starts thanking me profusely, and give me a huge hug. She is so excited, she can’t even breathe. The tip was almost $100, but that was for 6 sessions seeing as she will be going near my face WITH A LASER. I’m surprised people don’t tip more. Shouldn’t they tip? Am I just being wasteful!?
1:50 p.m. — I bounce out the door and into the metro to go return my tops and hit a Lululemon. $2.25
1:51 p.m. — As I swipe, I make a note to recharge my metro card…. must not forget.
2:20 p.m. — I walk to Lolë and return both tops. Ugh the guy in front just REEKS of sweat.. I try and walk faster so I’m upstream and I don’t have to smell him. Shower, please!!!
2:23 p.m. — Seems like the standard rich young preteen uniform here is yoga pants, barely sheer T and or an oversized sweater and coloured mirrored sunglasses. You know, Kardashian / Jenner / Hadid / Whoever athleisure “chic”. Even jeans are too formal now. Why don’t we just wear underwear. This is why I get flack for dressing up.
2:33 p.m. — I avoid three stores before walking into one that has my kryptonite of soft cashmere sweaters and perfect jeans. MUST. RESIST. I flee, putting my hands over my eyes like blinders.
2:35 p.m. — I make it into Lolë and return both tops. -$149.46
2:42 p.m. — I head over to Lululemon and beeline for the sale rack. Say what you want about Lululemon I find their high rise Luxtreme and Luon pants PERFECT for yoga. The Luon pills easily (but not as badly as the James Perse ones I luckily scored for $20 each rather than full price) so I prefer Luxtreme but they are SO COMFY. I can see why teeny boppers live in them.
2:45 p.m. — I take a handful of sale items to try.
2:47 p.m. — OMG they say “top”, but I say glorified bib. Look.
It’s a bib right? Seriously.
2:59 p.m. — I almost buy some pants but decide against the $99 sale tag. I’ll wait. I already have 3 good pairs. I need 4 but it is less urgent than the sweaty tops.
3:11 p.m. — I walk to the bus stop avoiding the stores and then decide on the metro if it will get me there quicker even if I pay again. Just as I get there, the bus comes. Yay! I save on the transfer. $0
3:31 p.m. —I drop off my skirts to be tailored (I lost weight so now they hang strangely like elephant skin on me). $103.50
3:49 p.m. — I check out the shoe sale and make a note on these ballet flats in black if they ever go on sale (if you’re very pale skinned, the pink ones would look amazing on your feet).
4:15 p.m. — I head to the lingerie section and buy some foam cups for a bra. Not that I necessarily want to fake any chest size or cleavage but I want to see if I can go with just wearing my long bralette and just use the cups for coverage and shaping. Nothing too obscene just .. normal. I feel too naked with just that bralette. $20.70
4:25 p.m. — By the way as I stayed in line waiting FOREVER (….a family did 7 SEPARATE PURCHASES with SEPARATE CARDS) I see some guys sort of creepily hanging out by the entrance waiting for their wives/girlfriends/spouses. Honestly could they not find a better spot to put these guys? Know how uncomfortable I felt looking for nipple coverage options?? Ugh.
4:27 p.m. — I pop in my favourite place for a vegan burger. FINALLY. YUMMMMMMM. I CANNOT WAIT.
4:28 p.m. — In line I am thinking: Oh wait. I should get something else to see what they have. I always take the same thing. I take the Aztec bowl with shiitake mushrooms and brown rice. It is good but the rice was undercooked and it needed avocado to give it creaminess and body. Everything needs avocado in my opinion. Should have stuck with the burger. $11.32
4:31 p.m. — I finish the bowl and as I’m walking to the bus stop it comes by. I run and make it but my transfer expired. $2.25
4:59 p.m. — I take the bus all the way back and make it just in time, running again from the stop to pick up my package from the post office.
5:05 p.m. — After I get my package I wander around buying my oil blotting sheets (need wayyyy more), smelling conditioners that don’t stink too heavily of perfume and then go to grab gas for the car before I forget. I end up with some oil blotting papers from Joe Fresh. We will see how these do. $6.90
5:35 p.m. — On the way back I think: Whew. I got EVERYTHING but finding yoga tops done. I want to stop and get gas for the car, but the prices are insane for the weekend. I drive home instead, I still have half a tank left.
6:07 p.m. — I get in the door, and Baby Bun is already snacking on an appetizer. “It’s the only way I could get him to be quiet and sit still“, my partner tells me.
6:17 p.m. — I clean up and start unpacking things. Baby Bun climbs down and just bursts into tears, clinging to me. Sigh. He is feeling sick all week and he really just wants Mommy 24/7 but it is very hard on me.
7:27 p.m. — We finish our dinner (my partner made chicken), and then I do the dishes.
8:17 p.m. — We get ready to bed.
8:25 p.m. — Baby Bun wants to sleep naked without any pyjamas on and I would normally NOT CARE but it is getting cold at night and blankets don’t stay on him, so he freezes and wakes up with a nasty chest cough every morning. He MUST wear at least two shirts and pants with socks to bed, to keep him somewhat warm if the blanket falls off him as he wiggles around. We fight and fight and fight…
8:57 p.m. — Exhausted, I finally win. Baby Bun gets his clothes on and goes to bed, red-faced, and covered in tears. I can’t help it. I can’t make him happy 24/7 and frankly, it isn’t good for him.
6:40 a.m. — I was supposed to call a friend at 7 a.m. but Baby Bun woke up LATE and for some reason my phone has zero connection bars.
7:00 a.m. — I log in to message my friend about the situation. She sent 7 messages asking if I was calling her (yes!… just.. if my phone would let me) I wait about 5 minutes, restart the phone, and now it is okay.
7:08 a.m. — We start chatting as I clean up the closet, and keep Baby Bun occupied with videos of himself as a baby. We chat and chat, and I feel my heart lift. I love talking to her and getting caught up on life.
9:48 a.m. — We finally hang up (well her phone seems to have died, because we got cut off when she tried to manage two calls and failed LOL), but when I tried calling her back, it kept going to voicemail. Oh well.
10:02 a.m. — I feed Baby Bun his vegan soup and oatmeal. My partner added tomatoes from our little jaunt out to the farm last week and Baby Bun is now ASKING for the soup, he loves the savoury twist of tomato so much.
10:22 a.m. — I am starving. I wait hungrily. Then I eat a banana to fill the belly grumbly void.
11:32 a.m. — My partner makes a special treat today of turmeric-marinated spiced organic chicken breast, with those tomatoes from last week sliced in between, some green onions, fresh basil picked from our plant on the balcony, and grilled bread with some slices of aged Comté cheese. OH MY. I hate eating chicken breast but I could eat this without complaint for sure. Trust me. It was GOOD.
12:08 p.m. — I try to get Baby Bun down for an nap but he refuses. I decide to let him play quietly for an hour while I do dishes.
12:58 p.m. — Dishes done, I lead him to the bedroom to sleep. He fights me. I suggest the park if he behaves. He goes quietly. He is kind of sick today so I may not take him to the park in the end (it is chilly today), to let him recover. I’ll make sure he is entertained at home though.
1:46 p.m. — I fell asleep while patting him to sleep. Oops. I took a nap too and now I feel refreshed. I get up and leave quietly as he continues to nap.
2:02 p.m. — I hear an absolutely heart-wrenching scream from the bedroom, and I just drop everything and RUN. The minute I get there, I lie down beside him and put my hand patting his head and kissing him. He immediately stops screaming and crying and falls back into a sort of half-in-half-out sleep. He doesn’t want to sleep any more but needs to lie there in comfort, so we just cuddle together. Then I get up to get him some milk.
2:34 p.m. — We play afterwards, cleaning up, organizing things. I’m looking for a good yoga video for my partner because I hate that my favourite app charges by the month now. If I buy a really big iPad Pro next year (am also planning on buying a piano, and the Pro will hold all the music in a large enough format to read), then I can load my app on there and let him use it. In the meantime, I need options for him.
2:48 p.m. — I buy some Vitamin C and E combined in a pill (meant for UTI, but I am using it for skincare purposes), and some B12 supplements. I’d go in person to these places but they may not have what I want, it will be more expensive, and I have to drive and waste time getting there. I love buying things like this online. $38.41
2:52 p.m. — I remember my Raw Apple Cider Vinegar from earlier this summer, and take two tablespoons of it. It really helps with probiotics, and I tend to feel better after I take it. It’s that, or eat raw garlic and make everyone flee from me at the office as it seeps out of my pores and stinks the place up.
3:08 p.m. — I finish boiling 3 eggs. I’m hungry again. I need another snack. I use this recipe and they turn out like poached eggs but without the mess, and that weird sort of squeaky crust on the outside of poached eggs that turns me off. It’s a softboiled egg, essentially, but with a slightly harder outside. There’s something really satisfying about eating an egg with a warm, runny yolk inside.
Recipe for poached-like hardboiled eggs
Bring water to a boil.
Put in both eggs gently with a big spoon.
Boil for 6 minutes on high.
Turn off the burner, leave them for another minute in the water (as it bubbles and cools down)
Run them under cold water and peel them immediately to eat.
If you leave them a little bit in the warm water, they obviously keep cooking, so you can experiment with the doneness.
I eat them warm, with a sprinkle of salt, standing up in the kitchen. It’s a nice, fast snack and it is very satisfying because it is warm and runny inside.
3:24 p.m. — I do blog cleanup (whoa forgot about these 3 emails!!), and am still working through e-book issues. Groan.
4:03 p.m. — I set up my Aunt’s Bank account to link to Amazon. I’ll buy whatever she wants from Amazon, based on the budget we know she has. She doesn’t have much room to maneuver, about $38 a month to stay within her income cash flow, but with groceries and so on, she will just have to start draining her savings. There’s no point (again) in having so much saved if you’re going to live like a pauper. I won’t let her go nuts, but I won’t deprive her of hair colour either (everyone is entitled to some vanity).
4:08 p.m. — I quickly update my communal budget with my partner. It is nice to know what he spends, what I spend as a communal amount.
4:35 p.m. — Hmm. I don’t see the amount for the home safe we ordered. My half is $900, I was expecting it this month. He asked me beforehand to approve because anything over about $200, has to go through either one of us before we agree to pay half.
4:37 p.m. — My delivery of pants I ordered on sale from Lululemon has been delayed. The guy just didn’t want to deliver it because it was a beautiful day and he wanted to end early …. WE WERE AT HOME, and we have a doorman. There is no way no one is around. He wrote: “Customer not available“. What a load of crock. I call them up and give them hell, because the other guy that delivered the first package from them left it with the doorman, and I got it just fine. I don’t even care I’m using strong language on the phone, which basically sounds like this, repeated in a firmly angry tone: Unacceptable. The guy just wanted to end his day early. I don’t understand why he can’t follow the same procedures as the others; we were also at home, and have a doorman.
4:45 p.m. — I get another $10 coupon for drycleaning. I’ll bring in my dress after I wear it again. Sweet. Maybe do my blazers too. Why not. It’s so handy.
4:50 p.m. — I prepare my invoices for the rest of the year. I don’t like rushing when I have to invoice and reconcile it with my hours, I already know what I’ll be working, so I just prepare the sheet.
5:12 p.m. — I backup my laptops and make notes to myself for tonight and tomorrow.
6:30 p.m. — We sit down for smoked salmon and bread.
7:00 p.m. — Baby Bun finishes eating and then is an absolute MONSTER. He won’t listen, whines, cries, and basically loses it for the next hour. I was patient for about half an hour but he WORE ME DOWN. About 45 minutes later, we are both at the end of our tethers, shouting at him (a bad idea) and losing it (another bad idea). When you’re in the heat of things it is hard to see the forest for the trees. It is only until after that you think: Next time…..
7:59 p.m. — Baby Bun is finally calmed down with a blanket, and a yoga video (a workout from Gaiam yoga). He likes her calm soothing voice and watching the poses. The other day he did a chaturanga like the video by doing a Downward Dog, jumping back into plank and then going into an Upward Dog. I asked him if he was doing yoga and he got all shy on me and didn’t do it again.
8:11 p.m. — I leave the dishes for tomorrow. Eff it. There’s not much. I’m tired. I just want to shower, that’s Goal #1, to have clean hair for tomorrow.
8:37 p.m. — After my shower, I lie down and talk to Baby Bun about his attitude and Mommy and Daddy’s reaction. He repeats it back to me softly but he forgets too. In the thick of things, everyone loses their temper. It is REALLY hard to be super Zen and calm all the time. Today was particularly trying.. it started in the morning with all his whining, and went throughout the day on and off in bursts of whiny behaviour and annoying screaming. I didn’t write about every single outburst, but it happened about every 2 hours for 15 minutes.