In Canada, Discussions, Investing, Money

Women and Men – Looking at Money Differently

I was reading some interesting articles the other day, and it seems to point out that women want different things from their money than men.

Women, crave things like stability, stress-free, financial nest egg for their children, etc.

Men, want those things too, but really, the ultimate goal for them is to amass as much money as possible and sit on it like a goose.

Their end goal is just MONEY.

Women’s end goals, tend to be SECURITY / STABILITY.

These are not the same things because guys will tend to sacrifice everything to get that money – from shady investments to get rich quick schemes, whereas women will just sit on pots of cash, scared to invest that security blanket.

I am putting it very loosely, but those are the main reasons why a lot of money rules don’t apply to women the same way as they do to men because we just don’t view money the same way.

Men are also said to be riskier with their money but really, I think we are both risky with our money but in different ways.

Men are risky with sexy schemes

The countless STORIES I could tell you about male colleagues, relatives, family members and friends who have invested in cryptocurrencies, random pyramid schemes, and ridiculous schemes could fill a book and then some.

I have talked no less than 10 guys down off the ledge from risky investments, and who knows if they even listened to me.

What I do know, is that 100% of the time they lost a bundle.

I think a lot of that stems from them not knowing what “investing” means, and just finding the sexiest, flashiest investment on the block (e.g. cryptocurrencies) and plowing money into it because they see quick gains for “cheap”.

I personally don’t mind taking risks in such things (I even own a bit of cryptocurrency), but it isn’t the bulk of my portfolio whereas men will plow tens of thousands into it, I am more likely to keep it under $5000. Even $1000 if I am to be honest.

https://www.lendingloop.ca/?code=7b03f0

The riskiest thing I am doing with my money is putting it into Lending Loop – which is private lending for small business owners.

Thus far, it is working out for me with a 12.9% return, but I am capping the maximum invested in this, to $100,000 in my lifetime.

I have about $10,000 in there, and am very slowly putting in money on and off.

You can read my entire Lending Loop review & how-to here if you are interested.

The second riskiest thing? I have money invested in individual stocks. Some of it has worked out (yay Enercare!) others, not so much (Boo to oil!)

Women are risky by being so risk averse

Women on the other hand, have never once come up to me and talked about a new Bitcoin they’re interested in.

Usually, women talk about all the SAVINGS they have, sitting in high interest savings accounts.

Drives me nuts each time, by the way, hearing how much they have saved (in the hundreds of thousands in some cases), when it could have been invested in the market. I get the idea of emergency funds, but these women had STABLE earning jobs and weren’t freelancers like me, so a huge stash of cash makes zero sense.

Why is this so?

It is because again, it drives back to us wanting to be more stable with our money and securing our future.

Heck, I myself am like this but over the top as I am a freelancer who has to have my money go through times of famine as well as feast.

I am sitting on about $200,000 in cash to see me through until the next contract (?????? who knows when this will happen ?????), instead of plowing it into investing in the market.

Why?

Because I want to, and NEED to know that I have cash to cover my basic living expenses, and to cover my business for the next 3 years (my maximum time frame for finding a job, the longest I have gone without working is 3 years and that was because there were literally ZERO contracts during this period.)

So now, I have a huge bundle of cash I am sitting on, earning interest in a savings account because I want to be sure I won’t be raiding my investments to sell at a loss to pay for life.

Once I get a contract, I’ll plow 80% of it into the stock market, snapping up whatever over the next 6 months. I have done this for the past 10 years, and it has kept my sanity.

Women can also be risky but lack the knowledge

What I have also read is that women can also be risky with their money but ONLY AFTER THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO.

It goes back to that old quote I heard once (forget who), that goes something like this:

Women feel like to be able to talk intelligently on foreign policy, they need to have a PhD and 10 years of experience in it.

Men feel like they can talk intelligently about foreign policy if they drive a Honda.

And it is kind of true.

Women feel the need to learn as much as possible, and to read EVERYTHING before they take a leap and make a step into things like investing. Foreign policy.

Men? Just jump into the fish tank and see how it goes, they’ll figure it out later.

Both attitudes are admirable in their own way, and in general:

Women, are so afraid of making a mistake, that it ruins their ability to make more money and take risks like telling their employers: EFF YOU and your stupid workplace rules, I’m quitting … or to invest their money in funds.

We are so scared of making a mistake and ruining our lives that we literally ruin our money and let it stagnate by not taking risks.

Men, don’t care about making a mistake and just plow money into whatever looks good, like throwing darts at a bullseye, blindfolded. They will in a heartbeat, tell their employers to stuff it if they aren’t happy, and are less concerned about making mistakes.

What we need is the MIDDLE GROUND of these two attitudes.

We need the chutzpah of men in general, and the attitude of women to research and be a little risk averse.

Only then, can we really make headway.

Thoughts?

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Posted on August 6, 2014

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9 Comments

  1. Alexandra Graßler

    This is so interesting! Would you mind to share some of the links you’ve read! Thanks in advance!

    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      The latest one I read was this one: NY Times – Millennial women defer investing to their husbands, probably the most apt one in this case to read.

      1. Alexandra Graßler

        thank you so much!

    2. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      Oh as for books, there was one I read that was a money book on emotional money.. the name escapes me right now. It MAY have been this one – Money Honey, but I read it last year so the title may not be correct. It was something about millennial women and money and/or women and their money in general, and she cited a few articles in there about how women preferred stability (home buying as a secure ‘nest’) versus men.

  2. Your insta follower

    This has been my experience as well! I know more men than women who invest. Women have told me that they have no interest in investing or that they think they need to be formally educated to invest on their own (I used to believe this too). The weird thing is that I don’t think anyone explicitly told us that we need to get a business degree to invest?? We just assumed that. And it turns out that business school does not teach you how to invest anyway. I’ve found that most of my male friends who invest actually don’t know that much about it! I had one tell me that he buys/sells just by feel.

    I have quite a bit sitting in cash because I’m conservative by nature and also because in case I want to buy a car or house (I don’t have a set timeline for any of these things). I’m losing out by having so much on the sidelines, but it’s hard to plan when I don’t know if or when I want to buy a car. I don’t think I’ll buy a house unless I’m married or in a long term relationship and who knows if or when that’ll ever happen lol. Do you have any advice for people in this situation?

    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      You hit on all the points that make (mostly) women sit on hordes of cash. And no, business school DOES NOT teach you how to invest and guys who DO invest, tend to just buy whatever they see instead of reading up on it.

      As for the planning part — my best (general) advice is if you have no timeline, then just invest it. When you need the money, sell the investments and pay or it in cash. I did that with my house. It’s better to pay taxes on the profit of your gains, and to not lose out on investing when you have no timeline.

      So.. long story short, invest. Sell when you need the money.

  3. Tim

    It is always hard to talk in general statements of ‘men are more risky’ as it doesn’t always apply. However, I do think you are correct that people have different attitudes about their money and that can dramatically shift their behaviour with it.

    For me I realized very young that money = more choices and freedom. So I tend to do some research with my investments and keep away from speculation in general. However, I do agree my risk threshold is higher than my wife. For her money = security. So she wants to know when the water heater breaks (like it did on Saturday night) we can skip the price shopping and just get the damn thing fixed NOW regardless of cost.

    The trick is to realize how you think about money and adjust how you behave with it accordingly. Know that being ‘safe’ with you savings just shifts your risk from investments to inflation so don’t go over kill with having too much cash (so perhaps have a preset limit of the amount of cash you will keep). Or if you are a sucker for the new and shiny investments keep a rule that it isn’t more than 5% of your portfolio. We all need some limits to keep us from going too far….like I needed to realize that saving too much money for today was actually costing me some enjoyment for today. Yes I want freedom but I should not be unhappy will going for it.

    Thanks for bringing up this topic. It isn’t discussed a lot but very important to know about yourself.

    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      You’ve got good points there – overgeneralizing, I must admit with the men versus women thing; it is more of a mindset shift than anything else. People keep asking me “but how did you KNOW you had to change?”… and I am flummoxed because it just wasn’t a great situation so I knew I was doing something wrong.

      How and what motivated me? Money. Just money I guess. Not wanting to be stressed, wanting to be secure, and in that sense, I saved way too much money at the start, when I should have been riskier and invested more considering how low my expenses were in my 20s.

      It’s a mindset shift as you’ve said, and also just calculating risk versus reward. Right now as I am more secure, I am more risky than not.

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