Week of Money: Where my aura migraine hits me out of nowhere
??:?? — I wake up to Little Bun wiggling in bed. I lean over and whisper: Are you awake? He tells me yes, and I get his milk, spilling it on the counter first (sigh .. I am not coordinated in the mornings).
??:?? — He asks for my phone politely and takes pictures of icicles to show me.
7:44 a.m. — I make a tea, and he plays a game while I try to log in and get things done. I am learning about photos and how to make them better, and to use my iPhone more effectively as it is my main camera these days. If I had a way to wirelessly send my images from my real camera to my computer instantly, I’d use it more often.
8:44 a.m. — “Mommy, the pasta used my leg as a slide!“….. (he dropped a pasta piece and it rolled down his leg)
9:12 a.m. — In the bedroom, Little Bun plays as I work on my pieces.
10:30 a.m. — He tells me that he wants to show me something special, and he starts wiggling his ears (his father taught him and he does it all the time now). He and his father BOTH wiggle their ears at me and since it’s genetic I am unable to do it as I cannot control the nerve. I can turn curl my tongue but so can they. So I am not an ear wiggler.
11:26 a.m. — Lunch time – fries and eggs….
1:49 p.m. — We got so caught up talking about systemic racism in France and in the U.S., my partner gets to his nap with Little Bun a little too late in the day (normally it is 1 p.m.).
3:10 p.m. — After his nap, he runs out and sits beside me playing on the iPad a little – he does his games to go save all the seeds for Earth (Doomsday Vault), or he draws in Zen Brush and makes up Stuffie stories/games where they have to tap the screen and ‘load’ the game (he even draws the wifi signal, writes “Patience please, loading” text with the bar half full… it’s hilarious.
3:44 p.m. — Then we go and play in the bedroom where I clean up a little, we put away our books, we are in the closet and I am taking pictures or thinking of new things to video, or blog about. In the meantime, I am eying this daybed as a future purchase:
4:56 p.m. — After dinner, I do all the dishes, he wipes the cutlery, I start laundry and he asks for Daniel Tiger. He runs off with Daniel Tiger videos and I watch my videos (am currently watching “Younger” mostly for the fashion but the show itself is also not that bad.)
6:18 p.m. — Laptop died, he’s playing by himself in the bedroom coming up with his own games with the Stuffies which somehow involve the bathroom a lot, and towels (?) as well as the toothbrushes (?)… he doesn’t seem to be making a mess of any kind, just running back and forth, using the bathroom as a cave of sorts.
7:30 p.m. — He insists we do Stuffie Tag, Stuffie Games where he chooses the “Stuffie Game Master”.. all things he has picked up from playing SnapChat games and we play until I am mentally drained.
8:42 p.m. — I love this look, and I search for “long slit sweater tunic dress” to see if I can find it:
8:50 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — He’s a tiny bit grumpy upon waking up. I try to kiss him but he harrumphs at me.
7:59 a.m. — I log in to start working, he’s been sleeping quite well, I must say. We all slept solidly, no screams lately. I hope this keeps up.
8:08 a.m. — I am working on notes for my comprehension – this is what I need to do on every project to ramp up. I have to understand what they’re doing, then re-write it in my own words based on my experiences to liken it to previous projects. As I do it, I learn it, but also come up with new questions to clarify. Once it’s in my brain, it’s imprinted and then I can work with that structure for the rest of the project.
12:28 p.m. — Lunch time, I switch it up and make faux sushi rolls by putting the brown rice inside a seaweed wrap, layering the squash on top and then rolling it all to eat it like a hand roll dipped in soy sauce.
1:00 p.m. — My partner is grumpy, his class is at 1 and he’s missing nap time with Little Bun. I make a tea.
1:12 p.m. — Bathroom break. He knocks on the door to let me know and I go help him.
1:22 p.m. — Another bathroom break. Is he holding it in to get TWO breaks? Ah whatever.
1:45 p.m. — “Mommy, could I read instead, until I get sleepy?“… To which I reply: “Of course you can, as long as we all get Quiet Time.” Emphasis on the ALL as in the WHOLE family.
3:20 p.m. — After his nap, he plays on the iPad between us and tries to stay quiet because Daddy is in school, and then he starts to get antsy, waiting for either one of us to be ready / available to play with him.
4:13 p.m. — He keeps asking: “I want to play now Daddy”… and repeats it at least 4 times before almost bursting into frustrated tears, and his father quickly finishes what he was working on (it’s hard to stop in the middle of thinking), and plays with him. Working from home is so rough.
4:50 p.m. — I take over for feeding/playing.
5:25 p.m. — He asks for Daniel Tiger, I do all the dishes, 3 loads of laundry.
6:47 p.m. — I eat dinner. I find more fashion looks I love:
The long belt, pegged trousers…
Love the flowy skirt thing happening here.
Sweatpants with style!
All white is my kryptonite.
Strangely love this too, with all the colours and mixing.
More ways to tie a belt:
7:01 p.m. — Then take a break to watch more Younger. It’s not deep in terms of thinking but it’s a fun watch. It’s a little unrealistic. I mean I have so many questions about a 40-year old posing as a 26-year old — of course her profile would be Google-able by now at least for her age and degrees if she was in publishing before, and more importantly where is her 20-year old daughter in all of this to blow it all up?
8:09 p.m. — I finish a few episodes, and then start getting ready for bed while Little Bun does schooling.
8:45 p.m. — After school, we do Brain Test while I brush my teeth (he asks me questions)
9:31 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up tired. This child. He’s bright eyed and bushy tailed.
7:04 a.m. — I log in, then make myself some tea.
8:08 a.m. — Little Bun wants to play but I have to get this done, I am SO CLOSE to understanding. In the meantime, he does his workbook and offers up cute observations all morninge like:
“Mommy, I know how to spell big words. Why do they have a spelling contest in the United States that is called a bee? Maybe it’s because of all the pollen. So they call it a spelling bee because it collects pollen too.”
Me: Why don’t you draw a nice Stuffie Monster or Stuffie Robot with Daddy? *desperate to concentrate*
Little Bun: Oh no! You know what they say!! Let’s not waste paper! I’ll do it on the iPad in Zen Brush.
12:08 p.m. — We take a break for lunch. Pizza.
1:03 p.m. — His father tucks him in for a nap (he’s in charge of the whole process start to end), I hear snuggling and lots of kissing.
3:02 p.m. — Up from his nap, I am an hour away from finishing, as his father gets milk for him.
5:56 p.m. — Dinner, then I am reading my book, but I really just want to finish watching Younger.
7:25 p.m. — Little Bun is happily watching Daniel Tiger – he loves him so. In the meantime, I am researching into the Céline box bag but I hear it scratches so easily…
Also love this scarf styling tip:
8:09 p.m. — Schooling! I get a mini break to watch more Younger.
8:56 p.m. — He Brain Test quizzes me again while I brush my teeth, then bedtime.
??:?? — Little Bun runs around the bedroom, until I finally ask him what’s going on (I felt him check my face as he leaned in close but he didn’t tap me or say anything), and he tells me he needs the bathroom. I get up and help him.
??:?? — Back to sleep. But not back to sleep because I am spending 45 minutes trying to sleep but my brain, came up with a government plan (simple on paper, hard to execute) of what we would all have to do to ERADICATE the virus from our countries like in New Zealand, Taiwan, China, Singapore, South Korea… I have major components I know would work based on what they have done, and it just FRUSTRATES me that this is WAY more political than it should be, we are wasting fkloads of money, and we could have nipped this in the bud in a few months, had we started earlier and rallied together.
7:41 a.m. — I am awake having “slept in” but my brain was drafting a mental email (?) document on what we should do. I was even going to email it to these political guys or whatever as an open letter but in the end, I know it won’t do anything. EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO. It’s just that our metrics for what is a “good response” is simply to keep hospitalizations down, and not necessarily to get rid of the virus, which is the bigger problem, which makes people treat this like the flu/cold rather than something serious.
Whenever I hear: “Enough of this, it’s a 98% survival rate“, I want to scream because just surviving it isn’t good enough. We shouldn’t even aim to get it in the first place, because the after effects are chilling, the long-term effects unknown (who knows if this creates the start of a new disease like cancer in 20 years after you’ve caught it, or worse, if your kids have it and then in their 40s they suddenly have lung cancer from it?)
We are all getting pandemic fatigue, hitting a wall, and yet we are still listening to a small group of whiners who squeal on about rights. Guess what? They’re always going to squeal about rights no matter what you do. So you might as well do what you think is best for the people and not for your political career.
8:00 a.m. — With that in mind, I log into work and am frustrated. I keep getting disconnected.
9:25 a.m. — I take a small break to chat with my friend. We both agree that the real issue is that working from home, you don’t have time for coffee/water cooler breaks to chat in the cafeteria, etc.
You don’t have those breaks, and you feel bad taking them during the day when you’re at home to get a coffee or scroll a little on your phone. When we are in the office, a solid 20% of our time is connecting with colleagues, or running out to grab coffee to give our brains a break – this no longer exists. So this creates a work from home culture of “we must work 8 hours straight and not take breaks“, which is damaging as well.
We both make a note to take more breaks to simulate this.
10:00 a.m. — I finally let her go and get back to work. WHY IS THIS CONNECTION SO SLOW. It takes me 2 seconds per click to get anywhere. Then I get booted out.
12:05 p.m. — I take a break to eat. I make my own “sushi” rolls at home. It’s nothing special, just quinoa or brown rice on top of a nori sheet (seaweed), I put cooked chicken and vegetables inside (anything I have), roll it, dip in soy sauce, and eat. It’s not sushi like what I am used to, but it’s a nice change.
1:29 p.m. — I hear Little Bun giggling in the bedroom, trying to “nap” with his father. Clearly this time is not Nap Time, it’s “Giggle Time”.
2:20 p.m. — I finally give up and work on another computer to just type some simple Word documents and then email it to my work email.
4:12 p.m. — I log off for the day.
4:40 p.m. — Brain Quest time! Little Bun loves them. I am very excited, I cannot wait to get more of these, and I love that I discovered that clock reading/analogs are not his forte yet. He’s fine in math (100%), but the clock eludes him. I feel bad for letting him down.
5:15 p.m. — I have dinner with Little Bun, and then watch more Younger while I do dishes. This is surprisingly a good show.
7:01 p.m. — Dishes were long done, I am still watching Younger until Little Bun runs out and plants his bum on my lap, in an attempt to take my attention. It works.
7:55 p.m. — I take a shower, and then we hang out in the bedroom, chatting about life. He asks me things like: “Why do we have our skin flakes turn into dust?”…
8:04 p.m. — School time. I take a break and eat yoghurt, and watch more Younger.
9:21 p.m. — Time for bed. I almost immediately conk out after the Christmas Story with these elements: Christmas Stuffie, Elves, Santa. I am given 3 elements every night, and then I have to make up a story with them.
??:?? — I wake up tired, he woke up extra early today because he conked out early.
6:50 a.m. — I could have used another half an hour. I make a tea instead. He starts the morning with a bleeding nose, so we handle that quietly. Then I make a tea, and get to work.
8:11 a.m. — I have a lot of meetings today, along with a touchpoint with my manager where I have a lot of questions for her, so I am making sure I am organized and we make the most of the half hour.
9:30 a.m. — Meeting number one of a billon.
12:00 p.m. — Meetings all over, my manager cancels the one for the afternoon and effs off for the day. HAHA. She deserves it.
3:31 p.m. — I log off. Little Bun is up, and sitting beside me quietly playing his Escape Room levels.
4:12 p.m. — I make a list of what I have to get done, it’s all tiny little 5 minute things, but I should take the time and do it. I am planning on doing my taxes tomorrow while Little Bun is in Quiet Time.
5:54 p.m. — We have dinner.
6:30 p.m. — Little Bun sets his Stuffies up to watch TV with him. He loves Daniel Tiger, and I feel like this character is very Sesame-Street esque meets Mr. Rogers, he’s starting to pick up certain phrases and manners from the show about being kind, trying new things and finding familiarity in the unknown.
6:47 p.m. — I also power through all the Younger episodes – the season quality has been dropping for sure, the beginning was much better. I still don’t get why it was such a big deal she was 40 instead of 26. Her age is just a number, doesn’t change a thing. Who cares? It seemed unrealistic, but then again, most of the show was pretty farfetched except for the part about being a single mother and stressed, although she had very convenient friends with big lofts and money flowing in without much of a struggle which is NOT reality.
7:25 p.m. — I do all the dishes but then forget about the cutlery (I wanted to wash them closer to when Little Bun would wipe them, and I end up with a big pile for tomorrow morning).
8:01 p.m. — Brain Quest! He loves asking me questions and having me ask him question.
??:?? — I wake up a little tired. I am trying to shift his bedtime back towards a 9 p.m. thing rather than 10 p.m., knowing it takes him 45 minutes to settle down, so we have been doing bedtime routines earlier than normal.
7:00 a.m. — I make tea, log into my bank accounts and do my blog work for the morning.
7:59 a.m. — I log in to work now.
8:08 a.m. — Some pearls of wisdom:
Little Bun: Mommy, you have to eat, and I have to eat. That’s how you know we love each other.
Little Bun: Mommy, you have to go to the bathroom, and I have to go too. That’s how you know we love each other.
I love how he’s finding so many ways and reasons why we love each other.
12:02 p.m. — I finally finish my meetings, and take a break.
12:55 p.m. — I organize all my notes, and start logging my clothes from my app into an Excel sheet to figure out the stats of retail versus secondhand, all the brands, etc. They surprise & don’t surprise me!
12:55 p.m. — Back to work.
4:10 p.m. — I log off for the week.
4:12 p.m. — I start working on my spreadsheet again.
4:50 p.m. — Little Bun dinner time.
5:26 p.m. — Then we upcycle in the closet, he loves giving me ideas, and I come up with new ones with him around, re-arranging pieces and helping me see them in different ways.
6:51 p.m. — I start doing the dishes.
7:39 p.m. — I get slammed with an aura migraine after washing a particularly tough pot (it burned on the bottom touching the burner), and then I start to dry heave. I haul myself to the bathroom, and try to vomit but I can’t. I just crawl into bed, and curl up, telling Little Bun that Daddy has to take over tonight, as I close my eyes and the room spins.
My partner steps in, handles Little Bun and gets him all dressed and tucked up beside me. I whisper that I am sorry I am so sick, and he tells me: It’s okay. You were working too hard on that pot. You should take breaks Mommy.
I can’t tell him stories but he tells me about Daniel Tiger.
??:?? — I wake up weak. Little Bun slept early, so he’s up early.
6:20 a.m. — I am really tired. He asks: “Mommy are you okay? Do you feel better?” I tell him I need 10 more minutes. He runs around and jumps and I say: Ten QUIET minutes, and he lies down.
7:17 a.m. — He checks in on me: How are you doing Mommy? Okay?
7:59 a.m. — I am really tired from not sleeping enough, so I don’t feel 100%. He asks me: Are you at 90% then? I tell him more like 70%. He lectures me on taking breaks and not working so hard. “Maybe you should stop scrubbing the pot so hard and take a break Mommy, but you really wanted to finish it right?“.. he’s sad that I pushed myself so hard. “You can do it Mommy, but you need to take breaks.”
(He’s my best cheerleader).
8:47 a.m. — I am lying down as he is playing beside me.
9:23 a.m. —We are in the closet now, as I feel better. We sing Christmas songs at the top of our lungs, from the playlist, as it’s his favourite one because he says it makes me so happy, so he wants to listen to them over and over again.
12:28 p.m. — Lunch. I eat a small bit of quinoa, squash and chicken.
12:50 p.m. — He’s down for his nap, and I take a break to read a book, and eat the delicious stuffed cookies a friend sent me as a thank you <3.
1:25 p.m. — I get a lot of advice, and end up ordering these FL-41 glasses, hoping they will help lessen my migraines.. if they don’t, I’ll just return them. But I have to try everything at this point. $194.35
3:00 p.m. — Little Bun up, he squeals “YAYYYYYY” and we end up playing in the closet. Midway through our fun, he tries to BREAK A DELICATE STONE of mine, and I lose it. I don’t even know what possessed him, because the shards can go into his hands and I feel immediate guilt I didn’t warn him/keep a close eye on him (WHO KNEW he would attempt to BREAK a stone..) and I cancel upcycling for the night. He bursts into tears, we talk it out, and it goes like this:
Me: I am not angry any more. But WHAT made you think you wanted to break the stone!?
Little Bun: *sob sob* I was just playing. I didn’t mean it.
Me: Okay, well next time, you need to be careful. There are some that are safe to play with like that, like the rounded ones, but this one is sharp points… you have to treat it like a baby!
Little Bun: *laughing through tears* A baby? WHAT!? I have to hold it gently???
Me: Yes, you don’t BOUNCE a baby around like that, and you have to hold it gently, change its diapers, feed it milk..
Little Bun: *laughing extremely hard*
Me: I want to put away all of these stones and not let you touch them then, if you cannot be careful.
Little Bun: *starts to cry again* (the painful cry of real tears, not fake ones)
Me: Well, if you don’t think that is fair, or you have another solution, please let me know.
Little Bun: Maybe I could be more careful? And treat them like babies?
Me: Well, if you can do that, I will give you a second chance and trust you.
Little Bun: *nodding*
…and that’s how we came to a compromise.
5:16 p.m. — I take a long how shower, then do laundry.
6:25 p.m. — I do all the dishes, and am feeling weak again as I am scrubbing so I pause, take a break, and then go back to them to finish. It took me 3 days to do all the dishes because of my recent episode.
7:19 p.m. — I smile at Little Bun and kiss him. I do this a lot during the day. He is not starved for affection for sure, and he spontaneously likes to run up and hug us around our middles. Sometimes we do something and he says: WAIT!.. *hugggggs*
So I say this:
Me: Where did you get such cute cheeks? Did you go to the cheek store!?
Little Bun: WHAT!? *laughing* NO!!!!
Me: Did you ask for cherry pie cheeks with a hint of rosy pink so that they’re super kissable for Mommy??!
Little Bun: I DID NOT! *laughing*
And that sparks a whole 45 minutes of asking about different body parts – the Eye store, Ear store.. you get the idea. Then he does it to me: “Where did you get your cute hands? Did you go to the Hand store and ask for cute hands with long fingers so you can take care of a baby?”
8:45 p.m. — Late at night, I am talking to him in the dark before bed and I ask him what he loved about today. He tells me: “I don’t want to talk about today. I was very naughty during upcycling.” He sounds like he is about to cry again… I pause and tell him: “Yes you had naughty actions but you’re a still a good, kind, sweet little boy. You didn’t mean to do what you were doing to be bad, you were just playing and curious because you wanted to know how to do something, or what happened. Mommy was like that too as a little girl. But some things are dangerous and you need to be more careful or at least ask Mommy before if you aren’t sure it’s a good idea.”
He’s quiet, so I offer to him what I thought was great about today – talking it out where Mommy heard him, and he heard Mommy about the rocks and coming to a compromise of what we can/cannot do.
9:14 p.m. — I am recounting stories of when I was naughty as a little girl, but I can only think of one where I hung up on my father’s call on a public telephone booth. I honestly just wanted to press the hang-up button/depressor and see how it felt to hang up on a call. I didn’t do it to be malicious, I was just curious about how it felt and how the lever looked (it was so shiny and enticing), and I feel like Little Bun has my same spirit. My father was annoyed but not furious. He couldn’t understand why I did that.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.