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Fashion things you’ll never catch me wearing

Things you’ll never find in my closet

I admittedly love fashion but there are things I will never, EVER wear, no matter how much the fashion industry tries to convince me it is in-style this season. I just ignore them and go on until I see a fashion cycle I like.

Other things I won’t wear, are just out of personal preferences for various reasons.



No shorts of any kind. I hate them, I hate how they ride up if they are too short, or look very dowdy if they’re too long.

I don’t see the point of shorts over skirts. For me, a skirt is much more preferable to a pair of wedgie-inducing shorts.

Furthermore, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of girls cutting their shorts so high that you can see their ass and in some cases, even their *ahem* lady bits.

This was extremely prevalent in Spain when I visited, although I have seen this “trend” happening in Canada for the summer as well.

Ladies listen up!

You may be getting catcalls, ogles, and otherwise feel like you’re the sexiest woman in the middle of a testosterone-filled city, but it is a vulgar, and not at all chic.

You may be getting compliments on your daring ability to show off dangling parts that you say “people would see in a bikini anyway”, but is it really that complimentary to be treated like a piece of meat?

Finally, do you really want a hobo or lecherous old man commenting when you saunter by with your ass cheeks hanging out? I thought not.

Anyway, shorts? Out.


I don’t get the point of these tops for me, mostly because your bra straps end up showing and you have to either pin them together at the back to avoid this (a mess to take off your bra later if you aren’t flexible), or buy a new “racerback” bra just for these tops.

I also personally don’t like them because I have wide shoulders and racerback tops exaggerate my shoulders in comparison to the rest of my rather straight up-and-down body.


Same problem as with racerback tops, they highlight just how wide my shoulders are, but more importantly, I find that many halter tops look funny on women if they aren’t worn correctly.

Either the straps are too long, too short, or they just make your shoulders and underarms look squished like sausages when they are really not!


I admit it looks cute, even on someone with my kind of quarterback (or swimmers!) shoulders, but if you aren’t ample in front, you’re yanking up the top of your dress every 5 seconds.

If you get something tight enough to stay up, it flattens your chest so much, you look like a pancake in front.

Plus, you need to get a new bra for this, and you’re never really quite sure the whole thing won’t slip down and end up accidentally attracting unwanted stares without meaning to.

This look is best reserved for women with unbelievable bodies like Kim Kardashian and Sofia Vergara (love her!).


I hated them when they came into fashion and I hate them even now, when they’re not in fashion.

It just looks like a Vanilla Ice meets Hammer Pants MTV music video gone wrong.

NO ONE looks cute in this look.


Even hot, elegant, high-fashion models, look stupid in them.

I have seen otherwise beautiful girls wearing this look in Spain, and to absolutely no one in particular, I think: What a shame, she wore an adult pants-long saggy-assed diaper today.

I am not necessarily a fan of super skintight, ass-hugging pants but I am also not a fan of pants that make you look like you wrapped a circus tent around your ass and then decided to gather them at the ankle with an elastic.


Even a girl with the hottest, most fit, 6-pack abs ever, will sit down and look like she has a belly roll.

I myself, have a rather slim build and body, but if you put me in a cropped top, and get me to sit down, it looks like I gained 5 pounds.

The worst is when you have a top that has cutouts AT THE SIDE, and when you go to sit down, the (NORMAL) fat you have on your body starts oozing out through the cuts, making you look like fashion sausage.


I do love all skirts and dresses, but mid-length or midi skirts or dresses that hit mid-calf, are just not my thing. It cuts me off at the worst part of my leg, and doesn’t make me look tall in the slightest.

The best skirt / dress lengths on women are just above the knee or at the knee, or at the ankle (or floor sweeping lengths). Anything in between is tricky.

I look at it and find it unflattering on pretty much 99% of the entire population of women who don’t have long, flamingo, 6′, sticks for legs, and unless you plan on wearing that midi skirt or dress with high heels, you just look short, squat, dumpy and frumpy.

The only ones who can work this look are older women from the WWII generation who live in Portugal and have never worn pants in their life. It just looks normal on them. Anything shorter or longer would look silly.


Unless I am going to the beach, you can forget about seeing me in spandex anything. That look went out in the 80s.


I think these tops look elegant on everyone but me.

Batwing tops just make my upper half look voluminous and big, while in contrast, my toothpick bottom looks twice as small.

Not a good look.


Nothing looks less chic than a woman who clomps around or drags her feet in high heels because she can’t comfortably walk in them. It ruins the whole point of a sexy high heel.

My limit is 3″, but that’s pushing it. I prefer 2″, even if it doesn’t look as good as 3″, but I am far more confident at that height.

Even more ridiculous are women who wear platform heels that are so high, you wonder what the point is.

Do these women think it looks elegant to be on a 4″ platform, and then have an 8″ spiked heel at the back, tottering around like they’re hobbled?

I think it looks vulgar and a little too “Desperate Housewife”-ish for me. It’s far better to wear heels you can walk comfortably in, rather than looking like you have a stylish cement block that can double as a lethal weapon on your feet.

That about does it for me. What won’t you wear?


  • Chiara

    I agree on almost every thing, especially the diaper – ehm – harem pants. I like halter and racerback tops, though, because I have very small shoulders (you’d never guess I started going to the swimming pool at 2 and a half y. O.) and they make them look broader. And I think shorts can be worn tastefully without being dowdy, it just depends on the cut…

  • Olga

    I’m from Canada and noticed you bought Wolford tights… Did you buy them online or in a store? And what size and tour did you but? Thanks! 🙂

    • save. spend. splurge.

      There’s a store in Toronto in Yorkville that you can visit in-person.

      I fit into the XS, but I’m too tall for it (5’5″), so I took the small. I’d say take the larger size if you’re on the cusp in terms of weight / height measurements because you don’t want to feel like it’s not tall / long enough for your legs.

      You can give Wolford Toronto a call (Google “Wolford Toronto”) and they’ll do all of the work for you and ship it to you wherever you are 🙂

      Otherwise, Holt Renfrew or Ogilvy sells them too!

  • Kathy

    I’m with you on almost everything on your list. I hate it when bra straps are showing and some women even wear something cut low in back and the bra band is showing. Tacky, tacky even if Carrie Bradshaw wore things that way in SATC. Totally with you on the platform heels. That is a broken ankle waiting to happen. Add to the list for me is ripped jeans. They are just too overdone. And one fashion blogger I absolutely love is getting a little carried away with culottes and above the ankle cuffed pants worn with heels. Just looks awkward.

  • Karen

    What if someone wore a batwing top with harem pants? Hahaha.

    I wear shorts and racerback tanks when I work out. I also wear shorts during the summertime. Not to brag, but I have told by a lot of people I have nice legs and that I should show them off. Mind you, the shorts I wear don’t ride up the ass because I am way too old for that. They’re either mid-thigh or Bermuda short length.

    I hate those onsie get-ups. I don’t get it. And overalls.

  • Alexis

    I agree with you on everything on your list. One that I’d put on my list are pencil skirts (or skirts in general).

  • The Money Spot

    I stopped wearing shorts for 6 years but recently started wearing them again in Australia. It was just too hot…and now I like them 🙂 BUT, the super short butt check trend really freaks me out. WTF!??!?! I also stop at 3″ platforms. Spandex…ewww…I also dislike harem pants because it looks like there’s poo in there. Not my thing! I also don’t wear leggings….or hoodies as regular clothing-only for exercise (hiking/biking/camping).

  • Aleksie

    Leggings as pants when nothing covers the behind area. I’m curvy in the back and it doesn’t look good.

  • save. spend. splurge.

    I can wear pencil skirts if they fit tightly in the waist and don’t ride up or twist on me. The tighter the better…

  • Erika

    If Crocs were the last shoes on earth I would cut off my feet. -Stacy London

  • The Asian Pear

    Ditto on most. I can’t do the batwing because I end up inevitably flapping my arms, hahaha. I prefer the kimono top/cut more. I don’t mind spandex as undergarment and for gym items but not a fabric for normal wear. I also don’t mind shorts but depends on the cut and length.

    As for me, I won’t wear uggs. Sorry, no. I just can’t see them as regular boots or even indoor shoes. Outside, they’re impractical and indoors, I’d find them too hot.

    I’ll never wear head to toe white. It’s very chic. I love the look. But on me? No. I’d look washed out. And likely, I’ll spill something on myself before the end of the day.

    Also, no to Crocs clogs. I don’t mind Crocs the brand… They have some sandals and flip flops that are alright. They even have some regular shoes! But no to the clogs. Those belong in the garden.

    I also don’t do one shoulder cuts. It’s so… very odd feeling.

    • save. spend. splurge.

      Bat wings or dolman sleeves are terrible for me too. I want to love them and I can’t with my broad shoulders. I have UGGS and find them great if you don’t walk a lot and it isn’t slushy. Otherwise it is like wearing household slippers and my feet are SO WARM.

  • Heather

    I agree with most of these! Keep it simple and comfortable. I don’t see the need for 10 different bras, that only work for one or two shirts each!

  • Alison

    Camo – horrible
    Cargo pants – who needs pockets half way down your thigh?
    Ripped jeans – when will this trend disappear? just stop it for goodness sake!
    Culottes – especially mid-calf length – they flatter no-one
    Baseball caps – fine if you’re playing sport but not as a fashion item
    Agree with you on the shorts, crop tops, racer backs etc as they tend to be worn by people who really shouldn’t.

    • save. spend. splurge.

      Culottes are terrible fashion trends… And coming back in style. Ripped jeans are growing on me but I don’t own any. Camouflage is a terrible print, period.

  • Taylor Lee @ Engineer Cents

    Similar opinions regarding racerback tops. Also can’t wear strapless anything (bust doesn’t provide nearly enough support for that, even when the rest of the sizing is right). However, I really love the crop top look and am starting to inch toward having a couple such outfits ready for my summer rotation.

  • Clarisse @ Make Money Your Way

    Since we are living in a hot country, I love wearing shorts and racer back tops! 🙂 I’m not really comfortable to wear a skirt.

  • Erika

    I have yet to find a pair of boyfriend jeans that look good on me. I’ve got hips and this style just makes me look sad a frumpy.

    I don’t own a single pair of leggings unless you count the yoga pants that I wear strictly for working out.

    I think most sundresses look to “sweet” for my personality.

    I have the height for maxi dresses, but I think they look weird on me even though I do wear them occasionally.

    Empire waist tops because I don’t want anyone assuming that I’m pregnant.

    I really don’t care for the whole oxford shoe trend either.

    • save. spend. splurge.

      Boyfriend jeans are so tricky. I have NO hips and I think they look terrible on me. Leggings are strictly winter underwear or house wear. Maxi dresses are growing on me too. I own one and I’m not super tall but I’m liking it. Oxford shoes are hard to pull off though

  • NZ Muse

    Agree with most of these, myself.

    I feckin hate those ass exposing shorts. Gross.

    I don’t mind shorts but I hardly wear them these days. Migrated to dresses and skirts.

    Also don’t mind racerbacks – I guess we’re pretty low key in NZ, people go around with bra straps showing and nobody gives a crap.

    I feel like halters are kinda for young people? (OMG does this mean I don’t fall in that category anymore?) I haven’t worn one since my teens and don’t think I’ve seen any in more grown up stores, like ever.

    I avoid maxi dresses also and empire waists (do NOT suit me, make me look pregnant/shapeless).

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