Look I get that women make less than men for the same job, something like 73% less than a man with the same degree and job:
…but can we also acknowledge that women don’t do any of the following that it contributes to this problem of unequal pay for the same job?
WE SHY AWAY FROM “CONFLICT” (AKA NEGOTIATION)
Aside from the fact that women tend to shy away from the jobs that pay the most (STEM occupations), in ANY job I hear/see these problems on a regular basis; women….
- Don’t ask for a higher salary when they get a job because they’re just grateful they got a job in the first place
- Don’t ask around for similar salaries / averages to get an idea of what to ask for and what your range should be
- Don’t ask or push for a promotion (you need quantifiable numbers and actual value brought to the table)
- Don’t negotiate for a salary bump or a bonus when the time comes around to do so and keep quiet instead
- Don’t want to hop from job to job for a better salary, position, etc
- Think their bosses will quietly recognize their value and give them more money without saying anything (what hogwash!)
- Don’t think they have to talk about themselves because they think it’s bragging
The one thing that I couldn’t put on this list as a woman’s fault is:
- Don’t / Can’t work the hours a guy can work — I’m a great example; can’t take contracts while pregnant so I can’t work
There is definitely a bias against women, particularly in male-dominated occupations, and the only way to get over this and to continue to improve the working situation for other women (especially the younger generations) is to prove yourself.
You are only hurting your position and the position of future, younger women by NOT negotiating and asking for what you are worth.
YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF AND YOUR WORTH
Basically, don’t be an unprofessional idiot at work and ruining it for the rest of us. I hate to say it, but the actions of one woman who is unprofessional and flighty, tends to affect the rest of us with the same brush.
I hate putting all this pressure and responsibility on other women to prove themselves as not to let down other women, but it’s true because people enjoy stereotyping.
Since there are also less women in STEM occupations, it also means that we are more visible and targeted as a group for stereotyping.
All women have to understand that at some point in your life (or all the time), we have to work harder and smarter to be considered ‘equal’ (hopefully after you have proven yourself to be of value and worthy, you do not need to constantly go above and beyond to impress others.)
It’s unfair, I know, but if women do this, I am optimistic and hopeful that in the future attitudes will thaw and change as newer generations grow up amongst a work and cultural environment that acknowledges that women’s work products are equal to men’s.
The funny thing is that I am seeing an attitude change (very slightly) where it is getting easier for everyone to pick out who is a hard worker and who isn’t.
BF told me once that he always saw and considered that women in his business school and even in jobs, tended to work better, smarter and faster than their male colleagues.
He always had a respect a little more biased towards women, but ultimately never let it colour his opinion where he just assumed a woman was a better worker.
He judged on results at the end of the day, regardless of gender.
BY THE WAY, DON’T BRING DOWN OTHER WOMEN FOR NO REASON
I am not saying that you should always defend other women just because they’re a fellow woman, and give them special considerations even though they’re total flakes at their job.
I am saying that if you see a woman in your workplace who is professional, who works hard and is a good colleague (either above or below you), don’t try and bring her down with your petty gossiping and snarking.
Having gone to high school not as a popular kid at all, being subjected at times to this awful clique-y Mean Girls scenario more than once, it is quite difficult when you are trying to do your job as a professional only to hear people snark behind your back (other fellow women no less) and call you names because they’re jealous that you’re young and/or have a better job or salary than they do.
My philosophy is:
What you have, you’ve worked for it.
If you haven’t worked for it, don’t expect to get it.
You truly get what you deserve.
THERE IS NO SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR WOMEN WHO DON’T HELP OTHER WOMEN
Made me think of this recent joke that Amy Poehler made about Taylor Swift:
[Amy Poehler] After joking that the “Mean” singer better “stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son” during their 2013 hosting gig, [Taylor] Swift instantly went into revenge mode, telling Vanity Fair (that Katie Couric once told her), “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.”
To which Amy replied:
As Amy put it during the heat of Swift-gate: “I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.”
*rolls eyes* “Girl power”. Right. And the quote was from Madeleine Albright, not Couric.
ANYWAY.
To clarify, there is however a special place in Hell for women who bring down other competent, professional women just to secure their position as Queen Bee or to make sure that no one else climbs the same corporate ladder to reach their position or surpass them.
This is a common problem, where women backstab each other, and I daresay it is more of a problem among women than men.
On the whole, I see that men tend to see others as buddies and they help each other and are less protective or jealous, whereas women, tend to want to be the only ones in the spotlight as a woman, which makes them more eager to stomp on other women at the bottom trying to climb up achieve the same status.
Generally speaking, I find that women are not as proud or as encouraging of other women for their accomplishments whereas I see men as more accepting or at least thrilled that they have a friend in the same level as they are, or higher than them (they see the pros, not the cons).
I’ve worked with good women consultants and bad ones (same with men).
The good ones work hard and I enjoy working with them because we see eye-to-eye and are professionals in it together.
The bad ones, try and shirk the workload off on me (or others), and pretend like it isn’t their responsibility when it clearly IS.
Man OR woman, I don’t take that kind of crap, so to come and tell me afterwards: You should have defended me as a fellow Sister, makes me want to ask you what you’ve been smoking.
The bottom line is I don’t buy into that crap — I still want you as a woman to prove to me that you can do the job as well as the next candidate, whether it be a man or a woman. I don’t defend or “save” my women friends or colleagues at work or cover for them just because they’re women.
It is not in my principles to cover for anyone who is consistently unprofessional, man or woman.
SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? IT’S THE WOMAN’S FAULT?
… I am not saying it is all the woman’s fault, I am just saying it is not just the employer’s fault.
Think about it — you go into a store, you see a product for $50.
You go to another store, you see the SAME THING for $35.
Which one are you going to buy?
Are you going to go to the second store’s owner and say: Hey.. you should sell this to me for $50, not $35. I demand you charge me $50!
NO. You’re not (and don’t try and say you would, because I call bullsh*t).
If I as a boss (even as a woman), can get away with paying someone a lower salary who does the same job (maybe better!), I’mma do it.
It’s also a factor that women (based on the above reasons in the post), directly or indirectly accept such an environment where they also allow themselves to be treated in such a way, or they simply don’t speak up when they should.
It is just frustrating that you see all of these studies and as a woman, you know it isn’t the whole picture being portrayed because the blame seems to be all on the companies or on men.
