??:?? — I wake up. Tired. But not TOO tired.
5:50 a.m. — I log in and start working. This issue is stressing me the F out. I need to fix it and it has to be good before I can start relaxing this week. NO REST FOR THE WEARY.
12:29 p.m. — I finally take a break for lunch.
2:18 p.m. — I am waiting and waiting.. until I realize that somewhere an email got lost, so I resend it and get an immediate response.
2:33 p.m. — I write pretty controversial post titles sometimes, but some people just read the title and start spewing without understanding anything about the whole point behind it. Case in point: Why I won’t be leaving an inheritance to my children — someone in the comments called me pretty nasty names for not planning on leaving any money to Little Bun. I had to write an update on it and basically (tiredly) tell them all to sod off.
3:28 p.m. — Oh great. The guy that needs to work, won’t do it because he is claiming he doesn’t have all the info. What a load of crock. It’s just that the two other guys are on vacation (the good ones) and this backup is near useless. I throw my hands up and call the VP. The VP says that we can’t do anything about it (he’s an employee), so … we wait until someone who knows what to do, comes back and does it.
3:30 p.m. — I log off. I’m done. I’m tired.
6:24 p.m. — Dinner. We have a light dinner of pasta and cheese, and then I do all the dishes.
6:53 p.m. — I am reading a book recommended by Adina called The Newlyweds, and I really do not enjoy sad stories or sad endings, so I confess that I skipped to the end to see if I could bear finishing the book. (I could.) Then I can happily sit back and savour each word and sentence (Freudenberger is a gifted writer)… The way she writes with the nuances of both cultures is shockingly good and so accurate… I felt pangs. You really get a feel for the pain the characters feel.
7:20 p.m. — Conversation playing with Coding Kart —- Me: That’s right, Little Bun! …. Little Bun: No Mommy, it is LEFT, the car is going LEFT! …. Me: I mean “right” as in Correct, sorry baby.
7:56 p.m. — I only manage to get Little Bun to quiet down and sleep by threatening to not let him have a single bite of the special lunch tomorrow. He squeals and throws himself onto his pillow and pretends to snore. That’s what I thought.
??:?? — I my is early. I pmanage to pat Little Bun back to sleep.
7:00 a.m. — When he gets up, I could do with another hour or so but he is WIDE awake. Oh! It is 7 !?!? This is a miracle.
7:24 a.m. — I am feeling drained. I just want this project to be over. It is ruining my life because I have no control over how people in upper management make idiotic decisions which then directly affect me because I’m rushing to do what I said had to be done, WEEKS AGO. WEEKS. EFFING WEEKS. Now I have HOURS left to deliver the same amount of work. I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS PROJECT AND I AM NOT EVEN BLOODY WORKING TODAY.
7:46 a.m. —My partner squeezes fresh orange juice and I make my tea in a tired stupor. I ask Little Bun if he is excited for the lunch today, and he says: YES MOMMY!…. and when I ask him if he will eat it all, he says “But I have to share it with Mommy and Daddy…“.. LOL
8:11 a.m. — I start a load of kitchen laundry.
8:24 a.m. — Little Bun and I play in the bedroom. We build forts and when he gets bored, I do some Time & Money Flash Skill exercises with him (HE ASKED!!! I didn’t push this on him, although clocks still confuse him a little), and when he is bored of THAT, we take a break and he plays with his new Coding Kart app that he is obsessed with. Took him about 30 levels before he “got it”, with limited prompting and help from me.
9:13 a.m. — I start repairing my clothes — fixing tags about to fall off my The Row leather leggings, I also end up making a few new necklaces. This is a great creative outlet for me (See: DIY Galaxies Edition of Jewellery) .. and I really enjoy making new necklaces and these ones can all be layered with each other…
And they are also meant to mix and match and stack as layers. I wouldn’t wear them all like this, but you get the idea:
10:34 a.m. — I read a book and this author Carla Burgess is really not my cup of tea but she gets such high ratings on Amazon. I find her books hard to read even for a fluffy chick lit because the plot and character really dull and without any in-depth development or story friction to reach a kind of climax or tipping point. This one story about a woman picking up a homeless guy to ask him to act as a pretend husband has to be the dumbest romance plot I have ever read. I get her point regarding social commentary about the homeless and how they sometimes cannot control their circumstances including not judging them by their cover but this is another book she should write that is more serious and should not be buried under the guise of chicklit because it is a situation that is so beyond the realm of reality that it becomes a joke.
12:10 p.m. — We have lunch of Tartiflette — melted Reblochon cheese over sautéed shallots and butter fried potatoes and bacon… a total heart attack on a plate. We finish it with a riz au lait rice pudding. Little Bun is ridiculously happy and is quietly eating every single bite because he is a little food monster. He is only quiet when he is eating or sleeping, we joke.
12:25 p.m. — People think (and have half jokingly told me) that they think I’m a monster for not buying gifts for Little Bun for Christmas. I don’t see it that way because I’m really not trying to raise a consumer. (Read: Why I didn’t buy Little Bun gifts because I have my reasons)
1:03 p.m. — Little Bun and my partner go down for a nap together. I stay up because if I nap I will OVERsleep and this in turn will make me unable to sleep well at night, I’ve learned my lesson — unless I’m truly exhausted, I don’t nap.
1:15 p.m. — I watch Crazy Rich Asians. Thoughts on that here in this post.
2:38 p.m. — I do the dishes, start a second load of laundry.
4:15 p.m. — I settle down with a book and overhear my partner calling his family for Christmas. I stay out of the way and out of the line of sight (read: Week of Money and family drama) of Skype but whisper-coax Little Bun to go say Hello to his family.
5:16 p.m. — Mmmm… I make a cup of lemongrass tea. Food was super rich today. Feeling a bit queasy.
7:58 p.m. — I play with Little Bun and then we read books together and get ready for bed.
??:?? — I wake up not that tired. But not well rested. I am getting used to this feeling which is sad. A slight tinge of sleep deprivation. Little Bun woke up multiple times last night, crying, and I had to get up, find him, and pull him back into my arms, and soothe him back to sleep.
6:00 a.m. — Early. Ugh. My partner is working from home today even though it’s a holiday. I spend the morning playing and reading with Little Bun.
11:23 a.m. — Time for lunch. We have some fresh homemade bread, avocado and eggs. Simple fare.
11:47 a.m. — I head out to try and find all the bottles of wine for my partner for the next year. I always buy 8 bottles once I run out of the last 8, and then just dole them out one at a time for each birthday (including Little Bun’s), anniversary, holiday, etc. I wear my new thrifted Nanette Lepore sweater I scored for $7!
12:22 p.m. — I grab a Chai at Starbucks as a treat. I haven’t had one in a while and it is early enough that the caffeine won’t affect me. $6.10
1:45 p.m. — I drop by a craft store to try and buy some suede dye. I bought some Stuart Weitzman boots but the factory must have made a mistake because one boot is SLIGHTLY tinged greyer than the other which has a slight brownish tint. I cannot decide if I should just wear them like that — who the hell would notice — or get them dyed professionally to a darker grey to match, or do the dying myself. Either way, I want to know all my options and how hard it is. Maybe I should buy some test dye and shoes, I figure, and see if the results will be as good as a professional.
2:28 p.m. — No dye, but I end up with a huge pack of liquidated stone beads which I bring to the cash. YAY! More jewellery!
2:45 p.m. — OH! I have a CREDIT here? Sweet. I use the rebate of $5, and the stones end up only cost $3.16
2:58 p.m. — I come back from a store empty-handed, they said they had 4 bottles of his favourite wine there but it was the wrong year. Dang it. Also, the guy in there was rude and wouldn’t serve me. The woman who ended up serving me basically told me to get lost when I asked her if she could hunt down bottles from the year I want. She wasn’t willing to help me at all. I hate going out to the boonies here in Québec, I forget how cosmopolitan Montreal is compared to the rest of this province. I even speak perfect French but …. you know, I am not one of them. Whatever.
3:45 p.m. — I end up at another wine store and the woman very kindly is a complete 180 from the service I had out in the boonies, and says regretfully that they are very busy right now but if I came back in January she would be happy to call each store that has stock and hunt down a 2015 bottle for me if I’d like to have it shipped to this store so I wouldn’t have to go all the way out there. I thank her. And then I end up buying a stock of his second favourite wine, about 8 bottles. It isn’t his favourite but I hear 2015 was a great year. I make a note to come back in January. $510
4:25 p.m. — Back home, I’m hiding all the wine in the closet but he knows about my little gift stash so I don’t have to think about presents all year. He sort of relies on it as his wine treat, and doesn’t buy any for himself any more because he knows I have him covered. Plus, it builds up uric acid in his joints and it is very painful, so he has cut back on wine significantly.
4:46 p.m. — My partner heads out to run errands now. I tell him to avoid the major highways and take back roads if he is going far because it is C-R-A-Z-Y out there.
5:35 p.m. — He gets back, and makes a meal of confit duck with raw shallots which he finds too strong but I LOVE and so does Little Bun, surprisingly.
7:55 p.m. — We play, I read, and then I try and get Little Bun ready for bed.
8:15 p.m. — He first insists on Blanket Flip Flip with Daddy where he puts his stuffed toy on the blanket and his father flips it up in the air.
8:31 p.m. — Now he insists on getting tucked into a fort.
8:47 p.m. — Now he is crying because he didn’t get his 4 books which I PROMISED WHEN IT WAS STILL EARLY ENOUGH TO READ THEM. Crossly, I tell him that will be Mommy Choice books (e.g. not the super long ones with a winding story), and I pick out the shortest story books I can find. BEDTIME NOW.
??:?? — Crying. I soothe him and pull him up beside my body, and he curls into me like a baby koala, with my arm around him securely.
??:?? — Crying again. He sobs: I want to eat all the fruits! Strawberries, cherries, and I want all the milk and water and chips!! .. .Me: Chips? What chips? This kid has never eaten any…. then I realize it is from videos that he is learning what junk food is.
??:?? — I get his milk. It feels early. I manage to get him to go back to sleep.
7:00 a.m. — HE SLEPT UNTIL 7! Hallelujah! I feel rested, but still fatigued. I feel an itchy scratch in my throat and am certain now, that I am also getting sick. Excellent. /sarcasm
7:15 a.m. — I make a cup of tea, my partner starts on making bread for lunch.
9:22 a.m. — Little Bun and I play ‘Baby’ where he lies on my folded lap like he used to as a baby except he is WAY too big for my lap now, and I pretend to give him milk, change his diaper, kiss him constantly (for real), and he snuggles into my lap, happy as a clam.
8:08 a.m. — I log in and work. I’m “late” by 2 hours but eff it, I am tired and these people are wearing me down.
9:52 a.m. — I ask the guy to give me an update by noon…. cuz I have calls with the VPs where I have to tell them what’s up. I feel strangely detached. I can’t force people to do their jobs, especially if they are literally unable to because they DO NOT KNOW THEIR JOBS of which they are getting paid 6-figures to do. NOT. MY. PROBLEM. It is the company’s problem if they hired people who are incompetent and lazy, and don’t want to pay for real talent. I take zero responsibility for this.
10:23 a.m. — We eat lunch early because Little Bun is hungry.
10:34 a.m. — I take a call from a VP, and Little Bun, after the call, proudly tells me: MOMMY! I CRIED ZERO TIMES while you were on your call! … I kiss and praise him for being a good little boy because it makes my job and life so much easier if he can let me work from home for critical moments.
10:55 a.m. — My partner leaves for work, he is clearing out his desk to show them what’s up, and then he’ll use that as a negotiating / bargaining chip for more money. I wish I could do that as a woman, but I have been burned enough times before to be cautious now in any kind of power play. I will do it, but not as boldly as he can and does.
12:55 p.m. — Time for Little Bun to nap. He goes down nicely, and without a fuss. I have another call in 5 minutes.
2:15 p.m. — My manager asks me when I can take on another project. I tell him not until next week and this issue is RESOLVED. He agrees, and is far more deferential now after I basically told him off last week in a nice way.
3:30 p.m. — I keep Little Bun occupied with some sewing thread…
4:08 p.m. —I log off. No one else is working. Why the #%(#% do I care so much? I have tried not to care but this is really making me angry that I am getting flack for this. This is NOT MY PROJECT IT IS YOURS. I am only here to help.
7:34 p.m. — Time to get ready for bed. I try to read but I am too worked up.
??:?? — Nosebleed for Little Bun.
??:?? — Little Bun crying.
7:00 a.m. — I log in and work.
7:34 a.m. — I am thisclose to quitting I seriously am. I am not in charge of all of this, I am not the project manager. You step in and try to help, and suddenly you’re in charge of it and people are screaming at you.
8:20 a.m. — My friend gave her notice today. GOOD FOR HER. I am so happy she is leaving for something else, she doesn’t deserve this crap.
12:03 p.m. — Lunch of crêpes. My partner makes killer ones, and he pours mine with a generous helping of maple syrup because he knows I’m stressed.
3:29 p.m. — PEOPLE ARE STILL GIVING ME CRAP. I finally yell at my manager. I tell him off, and then he backtracks and says: BUT WE ARE A TEAM!…. SO why the EFF aren’t you guys working as one with me? Why am I doing all of this alone? I am not the one who EFFED UP ON EVERYTHING. It is just just one person, it is all of them refusing to talk to each other, to take on responsibility, to work together, to communicate. Why am I supposed to be the glue? THIS IS YOUR JOB NOT MINE, I want to scream. I cannot wait until this project is over.
4:57 p.m. — They all deserve to go to project hell. I want to quit but this client is so close to where I live, plus I have a covered parking spot, AND … it doesn’t mean the next client will be any better. I could end up in something worse, where they’re mean to me personally like at other environments I have been in, where they have basically told me I am worthless and should be the scapegoat for everything because I am not one of them. This is still preferable to that. No work place is perfect, you just have to find the best of the worst, frankly.
5:15 p.m. — I log off. I’m tired.
7:25 p.m. — Time for bed.
6:00 a.m. — I wake up completely tired. I need a break today.
9:32 a.m. — Oh. A call from a VP. Great. What does he want now?
11:51 a.m. — I end up working the morning. Then I have lunch and head out.
12:24 p.m. — When a woman gets stressed, the stressed goes shopping. I drop by Anthropologie and end up browsing their sales racks and scoring a very nice pair of Cartonnier pants (will be removing the cuff at the end, and redoing the belt probably), a nice hot air balloon printed shirt, those Spanx camo leggings I was lusting after, a soft eyelash fringed shrug with gold accents, and a huge sweater that is cosy. $179.58
(Two of the pieces I got — that soft gold-flecked shrug with a hot air balloon print shirt)
2:25 p.m. — I am on a call half of the time I am out. MY ONLY TIME OUT and FREE and they’re stealing it with conference calls. WTF.
4:27 p.m. — I get home and Little Bun squeals happily…
6:22 p.m. — We end up having a nice light dinner, the salad is starting to be something I crave now because I miss the freshness of it.
7:29 p.m. — I log in and check my emails. No more news.
8:20 p.m. — We get ready for bed (or try to) and Little Bun starts actually CRYiNG because he doesn’t want to sleep. He is screaming: MOMMY. I am UNSLEEPY. I am NOT SLEEPY. UN. SLEEPY. UN. SLEEPY. UNNNNN SLEEEEEPPPYYYYYYY…
8:23 p.m. — I end up making up a quick story on the fly that he is a baby koala bear and his teeth SMELL.. and he has to go brush them, and then come back and have a baby koala bear bedtime story or two. He giggles, excited with the idea of being a stinky baby koala (do I know little boys, or what?)… and he goes to brush his teeth. Daddy flosses his teeth for him and he loves it because he is pretending to be in the dentist’s chair (a game Daddy thought up).
8:40 p.m. — 2 books. Time for bed.
??:?? — Little Bun kicking me in the face.
??:?? — Squealy Bun.
6:00 a.m. — I wake up. Still tired. I feel like I am not sleeping enough and yet I cannot sleep more (insomnia) probably from the stress of these few days. I can’t sleep well if things aren’t going well, I feel a very strong sense of responsibility even if it isn’t my area, not my fault… it is frustrating.
6:33 a.m. — I log in, and start working. More stuff to get done.
7:45 a.m. — I read books and play with Little Bun all morning. It is exhausting. He is very energetic and only wants to play all day. I think new parents should all be gifted with knee pads because I am ALWAYS on the ground playing with Little Bun. I am too old for this #)%*#…
11:11 a.m. — We have lunch of creamy cheesy pasta, bacon and vegetables. Little Bun goes down for a nap (and so do I).
11:45 a.m. — My partner quietly wakes up and wakes me up — he knows I oversleep — and then I get up, start reading and doing my own thing.
2:08 p.m. — Little Bun wakes up, gets milk, and then watches Kiki and MiuMiu pandas play and learn lessons — he has started learning how to say “Sorry” or “You’re welcome” from those videos which has helped.
5:25 p.m. — My partner comes home, and we have a nice light dinner.
7:46 p.m. — We end it with some homemade organic rice pudding (Little Bun’s FAVOURITE).. I am SO FULL RIGHT NOW.
8:56 p.m. — Time for bed. He squeals again, and I play the Baby Koala card which gets him down and into bed.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.