??:?? — I wake up tired. I’m almost certain that I’m sick which is the reason why I feel much more fatigued than usual. I need to rest but can’t because Little Bun is on me like white on rice.
6:04 a.m. — I get up and grab his milk and collapse back into bed beside him. He gulps down his milk and then tries to go back to sleep too, to imitate me. I try to doze off but obviously can’t when the baby is wiggling like crazy.
6:08 a.m. — I get up, start a load of laundry and put the other away.
6:09 a.m. — I putter around, read a book or two to Little Bun and then ask him if he wants to head out.
6:11 a.m. — As I’m talking to my partner about my plans, Little Bun chooses this time to be TERRIBLE and starts contradicting everything we are saying and being a total $&@!?. My partner loses it on him and I whisk him out of sight.
6:21 a.m. — I take him into the bedroom and spend the next 45 minutes calmly telling him amidst his tears and screaming that I have had enough of this attitude and will not stand for it. He finally listens to me at the end.
7:23 a.m. — I take him out to give everyone some space to breathe and think.
8:00 a.m. — We go to the bakery. I know this seems like his screaming = we go and eat our feelings and he gets TREATS for being such a brat, but… listen, I am just trying to survive here.
8:03 a.m. — I take a hot chocolate (they make the best one here, not too fancy or too dark), a croissant for him, and a pain au chocolat for myself. I wanted one for my partner but it doesn’t taste very fresh and I know he wouldn’t like that. $6.35
8:08 a.m. — We walk around the market — I show him all the fruits, vegetables and have him smell herbs like rosemary and thyme which he proclaims to be super yummy.
9:15 a.m. — We head back home and I do the dishes — he is a model child for the morning.
11:25 a.m. — We have a light lunch of eggs, cheese, tomatoes, salad and bread. We eat mostly vegetarian and I prefer it.. I do like the occasional grilled fish though, but I’m losing my taste for meat except for certain days when I crave it.
11:34 a.m. — I go and lie down after washing my face again — I don’t know about you but when I eat salad, the leaves are so long and the vinaigrette on them tends to get smeared on my cheeks which inevitably turns into acne or pimples and clogs my pores. I’ve taken to re-washing my face after eating to avoid this.
12:00 p.m. — I basically pass out around noon and I THINK due to the fact that I was able to sleep, that Little Bun also napped but frankly I can’t be sure because when I wake up, he is screaming because his nose is bleeding.
2:03 p.m. — I wake up blearily around 2-ish and stop his nose from bleeding. I try to pass out again but am out of the sleep groove.
2:40 p.m. — I get up, do dishes again and my partner comes home with new dishwashing gloves for me (my rubber keeps melting off from all the hot water from lack of a better description)..
2:57 p.m. — I dry all the dishes, Little Bun is a model child again after having his milk and then I tell him to clean up his space so we can go out.
3:04 p.m. — He dutifully arranges everything, missing a fake hamburger bun here and there and then dresses in his cool NYC airplane shirt he saves for special outings (his intention, not mine) and we head out.
3:47 p.m. — I return those Lululemon overpriced palazzo pants. -$135.67
4:22 p.m. — I then drop by Zara (it is BANANAS in there with their $30 for everything sale), and return the see through linen pants. -$34.38
4:40 p.m. — Little Bun was so super patient in line and quite well behaved that I praise him and then on a whim, take him for a mini ice cream cone. $2.50
4:42 p.m. — We eat it in record time (it was tiny) and then we head off to play in an area before going home.
5:10 p.m. — I like having these days alone with him because it gives everyone a break especially since he stays home twice a week with my partner and that can be nerve-wracking sometimes.
5:12 p.m. — I drop by the grocery store and stock up on fake chicken tenders in orange mandarin sauce — it is my favourite and makes lunches more interesting.. I want to pick up my favourite meal from Aux Vivres — Dragon rolls with the most amazing Dragon sauce ever. Later on, some day I plan on buying and making sushi with quinoa and vegetables, and dipping it in this sauce for lunches at work.
5:15 p.m. — I know people think: if you want to be more vegetarian why don’t you just eat vegetables? I’m.. not vegetarian and am flexitarian so.. no. 🙂 I still like meat but want to develop less of a taste for it.
5:20 p.m. — Oh no!! No Dragon Rolls left! I will buy just the chicken tenders instead.
5:22 p.m. — Wait. $3.99 only instead of $5.99? They’re on promo? I go back and buy out the stock. $22.94
6:26 p.m. — I go by my work to drop off the frozen chicken tenders and then we head home.
6:28 p.m. — OMG. I forgot my badge! I manage to get myself verified with the security guard and then he follows me as I throw the items into the freezer.
6:30 p.m. — Little Bun starts pitching a fit about being on the second floor. I manage to calm him down but then we head home and it is just more contradictions one after another. Never freakin’ stops!!!!
6:29 p.m. — I finally lose it after dealing with it all day and being super calm and patient. He is supposed to leave and go play soccer with his father at the league but he is in such a MOOD that he refuses to go and no one can force him.
6:37 p.m. — My partner gets so annoyed with all the screaming between us that he dresses and leaves to go biking to calm down. It is actually better that it is just Little Bun and I when it becomes this bad of a temper tantrum because he feeds off the energy of others and gets worse if more people are around.
6:49 p.m. — I finally calm down and get him calm after what seems to be an eternity. Calm Mommy = Calm Child but DAMN IT ALL. The constant contradictory answers, the screaming, the yelling, it grates on your nerves like nobody’s business. My stress level spikes and if I can’t stop the constant whining and screaming noise to let my brain calm down and get a breath of rationality, I see red and lose it.
6:54 p.m. — I collapse on the bed. He sobs on my chest, and we both finally calm down. I sit there and let the silence hang between us, and rub his back and his head. Then I tell him softly that “Mommy is sorry she yelled at you, but you were not making it easy for Mommy because I was trying very hard. I am sorry I yelled at you. I will try harder, but Little Bun needs to try for Mommy too because when Little Bun yells, Mommy gets very upset and sad, and then Mommy gets angry and yells. I don’t want that, do you? Let’s try together okay, baby?“.. he nods and says very softly: “Yes..”
7:15 p.m. — I feed him his dinner as he quietly watches some monster trucks count out numbers (new favourite thing) and then I manage to calm down and reply to emails. I vent to my mother. She understands like no one else.
7:29 p.m. — I make a huge bowl of calming noodles and eat it with basil… I don’t know why, but something about a fresh herb on these noodles is a nice contrast.
8:03 p.m. — My partner comes home from biking, and takes a shower. He is calm too.
8:22 p.m. — I get Little Bun dressed for bed and then leave him to my partner. I go and just collapse into bed to go to sleep. I’m really exhausted. My partner takes over and feeds Little Bun a nighttime snack of yoghurt which he loves, and cuddles / holds him while they browse Facebook together and catch up on friends and family. I can hear this all happening of course.
8:24 p.m. — Little Bun comes back and very sweetly requests for a book. I tell him Mommy is very sick and needs to rest, and would it be nice if Little Bun read to Mommy instead? He eagerly opens up Goodnight Moon and starts reading to me to make me feel better.
8:30 p.m. — When he turns a page he starts running out and asking for Mommy’s Book (my Kobo e-reader). I ask him why he needs it (I’m confused) and he replies that it is too dark. I clue in that he wanted to turn on my e-reader to use it as a makeshift flashlight of sorts to read to me. That is… rather creative. I’m surprised!
8:45 p.m. — I get up and turn the lights on, he finishes reading to me and at the end proudly exclaims: Now Mommy is feeling MUCH better. I tell him he is a good reader and I appreciate him trying to help me.
8:52 p.m. — His father gets up to get him water (Little Bun request).
8:57 p.m. — He grabs another book – Lulu the Big Little Chick and reads that one to me too, and then the lights are off and I’m in bed.
??:?? — I wake up still super tired. What is going on? It is like the more I sleep, the more I want to sleep. I’m certain part of it is my being sick so I try not to stress.
6:02 a.m. — I get up super slowly. And only to get his milk, to which he of course protests he doesn’t want the GREEN bottle because green is the #5 Number (on his number cards) and he wanted number #1 which is PINK. I tiredly tell him it is this bottle or nothing at all. He protests all the way to bed.
6:03 a.m. — He finally takes the bottle and I distract him by saying he is going to the doctor. For some reason he has been excited about doing bigger boy things like the doctor.
6:05 a.m. — I finally get up, wash my face, and log in to work a bit.
7:07 a.m. — I get Little Bun ready for the doctor about an hour before we have to leave. If it takes us 20 minutes to get there, I account another 15 minutes for finding parking, and then another 20 minutes for the nonsense of children, and 5 minutes as a buffer.
8:00 a.m. — We arrive and we have time so I go and buy a croissant for each of us. Oh and a Blondie Brownie too – I’ve never had one before! $7.35
8:11 a.m. — Shoot. Should have checked the croissant before and went with my instincts to NOT BUY IT, because it is NOT yummy. It is all butter yes, but not flaky and delicious inside, instead, bread-y and terrible. I’m never coming back here for croissants.
8:13 a.m. — Little Bun gobbles his share down anyway.
8:15 a.m. — I guess I could have parked at that side street because it was only No Parking starting at 9 but I wasn’t sure when and how long the appointment would take so I parked farther away to be sure I avoid a ticket.
8:34 a.m. — Inside, we wait only about 15 minutes late from our appointment because the original nurse is stuck in traffic and another covered for her. She is so great! Plus I love her outfit… a grey tee, messy bun on top of the head, laser cut leather thong sandals, and mascara-only on her eyelashes. I envy her gorgeous clear skin. Wish I could do that.
8:45 a.m. — After the vaccination, I wait in the room for 10 minutes to see if he has an allergic reaction.
9:02 a.m. — We drop by the post office to return some laptop stands before hitting the grocery store and buying some turkey meatballs for our lunch and an arancini with mushrooms and cheese (never had one before!!) $9.78
10:10 a.m. — At home, I prep his lunch with some turkey meatballs and he gobbles it down… then I make my lunch and this little animal sidles up to me and says in a very sweet voice with big big big eyes: I can has moaaahh, Mommyyyy???? …. Srsly, just like those cute kitten memes!!!
10:33 a.m. — I prep my lunch and feed him half of it and then we share the arancini which I don’t love but also don’t hate. I don’t get deep fried rice with stuff inside. I’d rather not, thanks.
10:59 a.m. — After the lunch, I continue working and earn him to please get ready for his nap after this video. He PROTESTS like no one else and
12:30 p.m. — Finally when I pick him up and cuddle him to the bedroom, I lay him down firmly pat his bum a few times and say: Mommy will be right out here working, and I leave while he whines a little in his bed but he stays put.
12:41 p.m. — I check on him 10 minutes later and he is out. He is tired from the vaccination but also because he needs the damn nap!!!!!!!!!
12:55 p.m. — I get to work, call my Director and then finish up my tasks. I hate making calls when Little Bun is awake because he screams when I speak in French… or English… to anyone else but him.
1:07 p.m. — I eat my blondie brownie which I don’t hate but I don’t love. This is not yummy. Crossing this place off my list. I AM SURE blondie brownies are not this hard and gross.
2:11 p.m. — He wakes up an hour and a half later. I cuddle him hand him milk and then kiss and hug him.
4:28 p.m. — He watches a few more videos and then I take him out to donate two bags of clothes — I’m not going to bother selling them, they’re too old and I’ve tried.. I just want to clear up space and keep items I KNOW will sell eventually.
5:32 p.m. — We drop off at a park and I brought my camera, so I take tons of photos of him with ducks.
6:07 p.m. — When we get back, he bursts into tears in the doorway — he wants to go out again and doesn’t want Daddy. I firmly tell him I don’t want to hear that and he sobs.
6:08 p.m. — He also REFUSES to go play soccer and I am almost near tears. He said he wanted to go and now he wants to stay at home with me and won’t go out with Daddy. OMFG. I NEED A BREAK. I NEED A GODDAMN BREAK.
6:14 p.m. — Huge, freaking meltdown. Like major five alarm. I ALMOST LOSE MY $&@?! but then breathe and tell him he has to calm down and behave, while I’m hugging him and rubbing his back. He is finally calm.
6:16 p.m. — NOTHING will calm him down. NOTHING I say will help. He just keeps screaming and screaming and crying.
6:18 p.m. — I desperately, and quietly in my most Zen Mother voice remind him about the talk we had yesterday and about how Little Bun and Mommy were going to work together to not yell and scream, and to love each other and talk nicely.
6:19 p.m. — He sobs through his tears that he is talking very nicely and I tell him that he is not because right NOW he is talking nicely, but he was too loud before and it was upsetting Mommy. He immediately calms down. I breathe a sigh of relief and my head stops throbbing almost immediately.. the vein in there was about to burst …
6:45 p.m. — We eat a dinner of grilled mustard chicken wings, salad, tomatoes and bread.
7:03 p.m. — I get everything cleaned up and leave the dishes. I put away laundry, get him changed and leave him for his father.
7:27 p.m. — Little Bun runs back and forth between us, and then sits down and starts reading books to me to make me feel better. I do love him but …. sometimes…
7:30 p.m. — I slowly drowse off asleep. My partner comes in twice during my consciousness to whisper to me that the sky is beautiful tonight and I should come and see it, but I cannot get up. I’m exhausted and so close to sleeping, and I am TIRED. I cannot break my sleep and wake up to be conscious. I am halfway towards dreamland.
??:?? — I do hope that this extra fatigue is not due to my being pregnant or something. I drowsily make a note to find the last birth control test and take it in the morning… but then forget that when I wake up everything is dark and I can’t see a thing.
??:?? — Finally Little Bun, not fooled or convinced about my faux slumber at all, comes to bed to tell me that “the sky is pink and very pretty, Mommy” but I cannot get up even for him.
??:?? — Sleep.
6:40 a.m. — I wake up almost at the time I need to leave the house. I laid in bed as long as I could, honestly. I laid there and tried to sleep and snooze as long as possible to soak up every ounce of sleep possible.
6:42 a.m. — I get up by way of Little Bun rolling on top of me and wiggling his bum all over my body.
6:43 a.m. — I grab my lunch and then start dressing and getting ready for work.
6:46 a.m. — My partner gets up as well and when I go into the kitchen, he prepped my lunch for me! I told him I already had one done and he put it back in the fridge but it was a nice gesture.
6:48 a.m. — I do LookBook with Little Bun while I’m applying makeup and I KNEW I applied too much of that EyEnvy serum but was too lazy to wash my eye and start the makeup process again and I let it slide. (Spoiler alert: that was a BADDDDD IDEA. I ended up re-living this similar Week of Money where I became a vampire)
6:49 a.m. — Little Bun chooses my shoes after I veto his first choice (flowered kitten sandals) and says – “Mommy wears THESE sandals today because it isn’t winter and sandals are (appropriate) for summer (as dictated by my Montessori Learning iPad app)!”… LOL.
7:01 a.m. — He also picks out a new watch after some prompting (he really wanted the same watch from the last 2 weeks of looks), and a new ring (surprise!)…
7:07 a.m. — I go to hug and kiss him goodbye and he bursts into tears, saying: “I want Mommy.. I want my Mommy..” .. I think he is still feeling the effects of the vaccination and very clingy.
7:10 a.m. — I pry him off me and he sobs bloody murder. I am waiting (okay fine, hiding in the hall) while hearing my baby wail and scream for me, forcing the door open about 5 times in an attempt to see me standing on the other side. The elevator arrives and I scurry in.
7:25 a.m. — I get to work and immediately email my partner to ask how he is (I always do). I know he is okay and the answer will always be: “he is good now” but I want that reassurance each time.
8:48 a.m. — I start working after a tea. Non-stop meetings and I’m brain dead by lunch. I have so much to deliver and now I’m getting annoyed. I am going to need to push back or push off the training onto someone else because I do not have time.
10:15 a.m. — NYC photos! I loved these graffiti shots:
11:55 a.m. —I go and have lunch and a friend asks if I want to head out for a short walk. I scarf down my meal and head out with him.
11:47 a.m. — I hear a horrific story about a father and his child I will not repeat because I almost burst into tears on the street hearing it. Trust me you do not want to know.
12:34 p.m. — I head back to the office and worrrrrrk. Meetings back to back.
12:42 p.m. — I quickly head out to sell one of my vegan suede skirts from Aritzia I got on sale. I like the skirt but this particular shade of brown, I forgot is far too golden for my skintone and I find it clashes awkwardly with my wardrobe. I can’t seem to style it and cannot find other that look good with it in my eye except for whites or ivories. The other two colours are more blue-toned and neutral and are far more versatile.. +$30
1:30 p.m. — In my first meeting after lunch, I get $&”!? from the girl I’m supposed to be training because she says we don’t have time to actually sit down and have me teach her anything. I’m seething inside but I just don’t have time for this. I can’t do my job, deliver on time AND train her. This is bull. I’m going to push her off on another person because I’m not feeling this pressure and amount of work. EFF. YOU. I want to train you even less now.
2:02 p.m. —My second meeting starts and I have to forcibly kick them out because it is part of another project that I’m also responsible for but no one knows what they’re doing either so of course I have to work in that too.
3:18 p.m. —I email my partner and propose that I come home, and hang out in the building until they leave for soccer so that Little Bun doesn’t sob and want to stay at home and not play soccer with the other kids. He is really anti-social and would stay at home in my arms all day if he had the chance. He agrees to try and I will hide out in the lobby until he is gone.
4:21 p.m. — I head home late after assigning work to the same Whiny Girl I’m supposed to train. She doesn’t have time to do training if she is CORRECTLY doing what I am giving her which of course is not what she is doing. *eyeroll* and you want me to train you? Forget it, you can’t even do the basic tasks I’m asking for but I can’t say $&@?! because I’m an outside consultant.
5:07 p.m. —I get home, park, and hang out in the lobby keeping a loose eye on the roads to see when I can see them leave.
5:20 p.m. —As I’m waiting I overhear the UPS truck deliver a few items .. and I go pick them up from him. He asks if we are perpetually on vacation but it is not the case.. we just don’t pick up the phone LOL..
5:23 p.m. —I wait about 45 minutes in the lobby making notes to myself and BEGGING ALL THINGS HOLY that Little Bun leaves and goes to soccer with his father. I really want and need this break.
6:03 p.m. — I plan on working remotely tomorrow to let my eyes rest but man…
6:08 p.m. — I head upstairs with all of the packages — all the Gap stuff came in! And the clear waterproof rose gold pouches also came in and look great. The little one is the size of 1 Litre so it is perfect for liquids for traveling, and the other one is big and clear which is good for whatever else.
6:09 p.m. — I IMMEDIATELY take out my contacts, remove my makeup with double-cleanse (I am really hating this Palmer’s Makeup Oil Remover because it leaves a film of oil on my face instead of washing off cleanly and feeling soft and great… but I will suck it up and use all of it because I am not about to waste something that works, no matter how terribly especially since I can just double or triple cleanse with some cream cleanser afterwards. I put in some eye drops to help calm my eyes down and wear glasses.
6:32 p.m. — I also LOVE the linen-cotton joggers from The Gap (surprising), but the linen in the shirt was a disappointment — too scratchy… that is definitely going back.
7:00 p.m. — I do however, love this book I bought for Little Bun. I just know he will love it. It is so well done, I would really suggest spending money on this. It is a GREAT book. Definite keep. I love how it shows all the lives of children around the world and all the different things they do in each country. This is so sweet and a great book for children.
7:15 p.m. — My partner is DRAGGING Little Bun being out with him as long as possible I am sure to give me a break. This is working. Next time, I will come home late and not see him, and he will go to soccer and see me afterwards to get him used to this new routine for soccer.
7:46 p.m. — They arrive home, and I hug and kiss him all over. We have a new book to read and I excitedly show it to him.
8:55 p.m. — Time for bed.
6:10 a.m. — I wake up and grab his milk.
6:11 a.m. — I quickly take my pregnancy test.
6:12 a.m. — …then collapse down beside him.
6:15 a.m. — I log in to start working after putting drops in my eyes — they’re only pink now, and almost healed… I shoot off a number of emails…
7:04 a.m. — Okay.. I think this test is defective. :\ .. No lines, nothing changed. WTF.
7:46 a.m. — Take a break to make myself some tea for the morning, and write out my To Do list which I try to keep to 3 items maximum with a stretch goal of #4.
9:48 a.m. — I manage to get two of my tasks done (company stuff), and my day is pretty much complete because while I am working and answering emails, I am on conference calls and doing multi-tasking on the side to scan items.
10:03 a.m. — I get Little Bun ready and we head out to by some supplements to our lunch.
10:18 a.m. — At the grocery store, we pick up a sausage, a turkey meatball and organic raspberries (Little Bun’s favourite!) $9.48
10:31 a.m. — Back home, I prep our lunches, and he (true to form) eats my half of my lunch.
11:15 a.m. — I wash off the raspberries and we share them, with Little Bun eating them on his fingers.
11:48 a.m. — I answer emails and hop on a call.
12:08 p.m. — I get Little Bun down for a nap
12:48 p.m. — HE FINALLY NAPS.
12:50 p.m. — I wake up before him (I napped too, in my attempt to get him to nap), and I immediately get a message from my project manager.
1:57 p.m. — FINALLY off the phone. I hate how people decide on things and then refuse to change them out of fear because they don’t understand anything.
2:03 p.m. — MAN THAT WAS GOOD. WHAT A GOOD KITKAT BAR. I need to buy more. And stock up.
2:25 p.m. — Little Bun is up, and has his milk. I love it when he blinks his eyes when he gets to the living room and has his eyes light up when he sees me, and runs into my arms to hug and kiss me after his nap.
3:04 p.m. — I head up for our playdate and have a great time with my neighbour. I end up buying a few things off her — a pink linen shirt, some white culottes and two shorts. $30
4:11 p.m. — The boys are playing pretty well, all things considered. Still some sharing problems, and every child wants what the OTHER child has, not what they can get, so this is very frustrating to play referee at this young age.
5:57 p.m. — Back home, we have grilled marinated paprika chicken (piri-piri!), a salad, tomatoes, basil and Little Bun scoffs it all down like the hungry animal he is.
6:43 p.m. — I take a nice long shower and do my double slather of rosehip oil, then a thick organic cream in the most heavenly lavender scent to calm me down….. My eyes are still pink but will be okay by tomorrow. I know what to do now with vampire eyes (again, see my Week of Money where this happened and everyone thought I was high AF at work).
7:38 p.m. — NEW SONGS TO LOVE! I am currently obsessed with:
- Karmin – Neon Love
- Bruno Mars – That’s what I like
- Imagine Dragons – Believer
- Steve Aoki – Pretender
- Charlie Puth – Attention
- Shawn Mendes – In my blood
- Camila Cabello – Never be the same
7:59 p.m. — Time to get ready for bed. We read a few books, and then go to sleep.
??:?? — I wake up and can’t go back to sleep.
3:23 a.m. — SRSLY BODY? GO BACK TO SLEEP.
6:08 a.m. — Little Bun wakes me from my sleep. I guess I dozed back to sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about work and what I had to get done. This is obviously a sign that I care too much
6:25 a.m. — I get ready and dressed, and do my makeup. Little Bun vetos my pink linen shirt I bought from my friend yesterday, so he makes me wear a green silk shirt.
6:47 a.m. — I do LookBook with him and start getting ready to go.
7:02 a.m. — He clings to me. Tight. He won’t let me go. I lead his hand to my partner’s hand and he goes, but not willingly, but not screaming and kicking at the door like other days.
7:39 a.m. — At work, straight to work. I grab one cup of tea and it is NON.STOP.
8:08 a.m. — 🙁 So much to do. 🙁
9:25 a.m. — I have a meeting.
10:40 a.m. — I take at least 5 phone calls while trying to work. MAN. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
11:38 a.m. — Time for lunch. I leisurely and quietly eat my turkey meatball with my couscous and vegetables, enjoying the silence and watching Top Chef Duels (I’m a food geek I know).
12:03 p.m. — I walk out and buy a TON of Matcha Kitkats. $32.26
12:28 p.m. — I buy these rose gold slide sandals but in the end (after I paid and got back to the office), I don’t think I’m a “slides” girl. They look too casual. I’d wear Birkenstocks that are rose gold over these.. no support, look too casual.. it’s not my thing and would not be comfortable. $34.48 but will be going back!
12:33 p.m. — Last minute, I buy these pretty neoprene pouches because I love the colours (I’d wear them!) and .. $5? Why not. – $5.75
12:40 p.m. — I eat a green tea KitKat with my colleagues (they only take one bar, why!?) and give another to a good friend of mine who refuses to share with the guys around him and scarfs it down.
12:56 p.m. — At the office, back to work. At least 3 people are on rotation, asking me questions, interrupting my train of thought and my brain can’t function.
3:13 p.m. — On the phone, a guy I barely remember, calls me in response to my email, and (I think??) started flirting on the phone asking if I was at the festival yesterday and he could have SWORN he saw me. He said my doppelgänger looked like a lot of fun … but what does that mean, then? I can see why people who date and are single have a lot of mixed signals. I would have no idea what to say or do with that if I were single. I smoothly segue into getting him to tell me what I initially wanted via email and ward off any attention.
4:10 p.m. — I almost want to stay later and finish work but will myself to leave early. I hope Little Bun will go play soccer with his father. I pray for it as I drive home.
4:35 p.m. — I message my partner that I am in the lobby hiding and he can go at any time.
4:55 p.m. — Nope. He isn’t going. Little Bun doesn’t want to.
5:12 p.m. — As I get into the door, my partner is dressing Little Bun — turns out, he is going biking and was bringing him to me in the lobby. 😛 … I was getting the mail (the linen shirts have really gone down in quality as of late…!).. and I hug and kiss my Little Bun.
5:45 p.m. — I unpack everything, and decide to eat another Green Tea Kitkat.
6:37 p.m. — I feed Little Bun dinner, and organize my desk.
7:51 p.m. — My partner is home from biking, refreshed and relaxed.
8:39 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — Tired. But can’t sleep. Work on my mind. Insomnia.
6:23 a.m. — Little Bun gets me up and I hand him his milk.
7:09 a.m. — My partner goes out to do errands early because the game is on at 10 a.m. 😛
7:23 a.m. — I wash my face, make some tea, and get to work.
9:46 a.m. — I manage to bang out 4 blog posts. #LikeaBoss… it took me two hours but I did it.
9:58 a.m. — HOME RIGHT ON TIME FOR THE GAME.
10:15 a.m. — I throw two green tea KitKats in my bag and then I start getting ready.
11:20 a.m. —We have a salad and a light vegetarian pizza for lunch.
11:25 a.m. — I tell my partner that I’m starting to lose my appetite — I’m not as hungry as before.. Should I be worried?
11:37 a.m. — My partner remarks that when we go back to Europe it will all come back because Mamie still remembers the time they grilled shrimp on the barbecue and I attacked the mountain like I would never get to see another prawn again in my life. I’m shocked!!! “Really??? But in a good way right? Not like I’m some monstrous ill-mannered pig???” I exclaim… and he laughs and says it is a GOOD thing I have a healthy appetite. They’re all very relieved, considering how skinny I was. Still though, my appetite is down. It is partly why I wonder if I’m knocked up.. need to buy more tests.
11:44 a.m. — I’ve never worn shorts before so I decide to try the navy linen ones I got for free from my friend and pair it with a striped tank. The look is loose and casual.. and Little Bun INSISTED on high heels today.. so there you go:
11:59 a.m. — Little Bun starts losing it, he wants me to stay and cuddle with him, repeating: Want my Mommy…. over and over again. He really doesn’t want me to go and I think he is a little sick from the vaccination.
12:20 p.m. — I spend time hugging and kissing him, but it doesn’t help. When I go to distract him with laundry, he starts increasing his volume and becoming even more annoyed and angry, almost screaming about how he doesn’t like to do Big Laundry and wants Small Laundry, whatever that means…
12:27 p.m. — I try to parse out his words and language but almost lose my cool before stopping and saying softly to him: remember how we had a talk on Wednesday? How Mommy would try harder to not get upset? Mommy is feeling upset right now and you are not helping Mommy..
12:31 p.m. — Miraculously it works and he lowers his volume (maybe he remembers seeing Angry Mommy and doesn’t want a repeat).
12:35 p.m. — I manage to calm him down and help me put stuff into the dryer but then he loses it again…
12:36 p.m. — I keep working on my “remember how Mommy gets upset?” angle.. I’m CERTAIN he is tired and needs a nap but he won’t leave me alone because he wants me to nap with him.
12:37 p.m. — I finally distract him by getting him to pick out my watch, my sandals (he chooses these high heeled things) and his favourite ring.
12:42 p.m. — I slap on makeup (feel like feeling pretty today) and finally hand him off to my partner passing him from my arms to his (he wouldn’t let me go).
12:59 p.m. — I get into the car and end up at my appointment an hour early. I decide to visit the dress I love that is way too pricey ($1075)… it is 30% off but even so! I could consider it if it were $300 but not at that price. I say “goodbye, see you next time..” and leave for my appointment. It was this dress below, that I ‘visited’ last time:
1:11 p.m. — At my appointment I just sit there, hang out and do images for Instagram.
1:34 p.m. — I get my legs lasered and the second time was not as painful as the first time! How surprising… only the knees hurt.
2:17 p.m. — I make an appointment for the next laser treatment (5 weeks) because I’ll be on vacation the following week.
2:20 p.m. — I get drawn into buying the Coola SPF 30 makeup setting spray as well and pay for both at once. $312.03
2:23 p.m. — I figure I can use the makeup setting spray to lightly spray sunscreen on my face before heading out at lunchtime at work. I have tried very hard to avoid chemical sunscreens, but there is just no other option for matte & in a light spray for what I need. I have tried spreading on the Coola mineral sunscreen over my makeup but then it just RUINS my face for the rest of the day…. I still love the the face sunscreen though, and wear it when I am not wearing makeup. This particular Coola SPF 30 makeup setting spray is also reef-friendly as it has AVObenzone in it and not OXYbenzone…. there’s that at least.
2:40 p.m. — I wander around and then end up just heading off to do returns.
3:02 p.m. — I return a bunch of stuff at The Gap (the girl was so sweet!!). -$231.87
3:17 p.m. — I then return that Zara skirt (I won’t wear it), and as I return it, the girl marks it down again from $30. Oh well. Won’t wear it so even for $1…. no thanks. -$32.78
3:26 p.m. — I drop by and try on a few sandals but I’m looking for a specific style where it is all strappy and flat… nothing fits the bill and I do have a bunch coming in the mail that I hope will work out.
3:33 p.m. — I head off to the bank, and withdraw $300 in $50 bills.
4:08 p.m. — Drop by Winners and return those impulse faux leather rose gold slides. They were cute but I am not a slides girl. They need to be proper shoes. -$34.78
4:29 p.m. — I then head off to sit in the shade somewhere and eat my TWO green tea KitKats. They are SO. GOOD. Addicted. I’ll get fatter off these for sure.
5:06 p.m. — I check the time and head back home to see my baby.
5:37 p.m. — At home, I take a long hot shower and play with Little Bun afterwards. I wonder how many more appointments I need for laser.
6:15 p.m. — I get a notice from a beloved enabler (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) that Simons could be having a huge designer sale. I hop on there and would LOVE this Self Portrait dress in red, but I know that the straps would not work on my shoulders (inverted triangle)… but so… pretty…!!!!
6:20 p.m. — Also, some of these pieces — if models can’t make them look attractive what the hell makes you think it’ll look good on a normal person!? This is how I shop when I browse and look at each piece online.. Ready? Here is my first thought for each item:
“What were they thinking?”
“I feel like I can find this at Claire’s Accessories for $15”
“This is a joke right? The Kraft Peanut Butter bear on a swing going for $500?”
“Of course, the ONLY dress I like and would buy, is $1000. Of course it is.”
“What.. in.. fresh.. hell.. is this..”
“I feel like Little Bun could draw something similar on a white skirt..”
“Surprisingly.. I’d totally buy this skirt if it weren’t so pricey & in my size. I love the cut, the drape, the shape, and … P-O-C-K-E-T-S!!!”
5:22 p.m. — Fun right? I am thinking I should do more of these “Shopping Consciousness posts” as above as fun Sunday things. I’m pretty snarky. What do you think?
5:30 p.m. — I am not hungry and yet I really want noodles…
6:52 p.m. — My partner must have run into a friend outside on an errand because usually he is home by 6-ish for dinner… it is almost 7!
7:23 p.m. — We eat dinner of grilled chicken and rice.
8:33 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up tired, but excited. My family is coming this week.
6:03 a.m. — Little Bun tells me that today is a holiday.. and he stays at home with Mommy.
6:23 a.m. — I cuddle Little Bun while he drinks his milk and try to sleep as long as possible. I will be meeting my family at the hotel and then taking them around all day.
7:59 a.m. — I get ready to leave. Wearing white culottes today (still think they’re about 2″ too long) and Little Bun vetos high heels with it, so I wear flat gladiator sandals, with a white tie cropped shirt my mother bought for me last year.
8:10 a.m. — I text my brother that I’m on the way. I’m supposed to pick them up at 9 sharp.
8:48 a.m. — I arrive, and my brother sees me at the lobby and then when I show him my car, he is shocked. In a good way. He LOVES cars.
10:12 a.m. — We finally get ready to go. Obviously I learned how to be regimented and ON TIME for everything, not from my family but from their lack of structure and sense of time…. They are never ready on time.
10:50 a.m. — At the bakery, we sit down for a round of breakfast. I buy a round of croissants, a pain au chocolat, pain au raisins, hot chocolate and coffee. I really actually forgot how much I hate the pastries here at this bakery, because their croissants and pain au chocolats are TERRIBLE. So bread-y and not at all what a real croissant is. I just wasn’t sure if the other bakery with real French bakers was open today. $24.67
11:12 a.m. — Apparently my father also bought a new car! Brand new, and a very nice one. My brother is eying another car he really wants, and everyone is in a good mood, not at all snarky or jealous about anything. I am so. relieved.
11:24 a.m. — Second round, another pain au raisins and a chausson aux pommes. $5.87
12:08 p.m. — We head back home, and my partner grills up chicken with rice, and salad.
1:42 p.m. — The “babies” wake up in the back seat (Little Bun and my mother) so we stop off for a refresher and a snack at Starbucks. I end up refilling my card for $50 as well because my balance ran out. $65.76
2:07 p.m. — My mom wants a scone, so we go to a bakery. I end up buying a bunch of pastries. Round one was a blueberry tart she wanted, a raspberry danoise, and a croissant. $12.42
2:25 p.m. — Second round of pastries are a blueberry tart and a pear tart with another raspberry danoise. $12.47
2:56 p.m. — I buy two car washes. Little Bun on the way into the wash, INSISTS that we turn off all noise and music so that he can listen to the symphony of the car wash… in his words exactly: “MOMMY. NO MUSIC. NOISE OFF. Want to listen to car wash!!” $18.94
3:15 p.m. — My brother after seeing the car go through the wash is impressed at how good it is. He asks if he can use my second wash, and hands me the $10 for it. +$10
6:45 p.m. — We have a cheese dégustation of Comté and my mother writes down all the names of the cheeses to buy when she goes back home. They find it super tasty and delicious (OF COURSE THEY DO).
7:18 p.m. — Little Bun and I drop my family off at the hotel and we make plans to meet up again tomorrow.
9:00 p.m. — BED. TIME. I am tired.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.