??:?? — I wake up tired.
6:30 a.m. — I ask my partner when Little Bun will need to go school shopping and he informs me that Little Bun is not starting school. I basically lose my #%#(*%… I have been under the impression he would start this year, and planning, telling him, preparing him.. and now out of the blue my partner decides ALONE THAT HE WILL NOT GO? WTF? A huge fight ensues.
7:56 a.m. — Screaming fight / match over where I basically tear him a new one saying – He is MY SON TOO, and you can’t just go around deciding on your own without talking to me. You aren’t the god here, and I am an equal partner in this. You can’t and don’t decide what is the right solution until WE COME TO A CONSENSUS TOGETHER.
8:08 a.m. — Still angry.
8:21 a.m. — I finally calm down, and he explains that he has concerns about the school and the first year, only because it does not seem like they will know or learn much. I counter that there is a strong social aspect for him to learn how to get along with other kids. He counters back that a lot of kids don’t go in the first year, and it is basically just an extended year of “free” daycare. He also says that as Little Bun is still napping a solid one hour a day, he does not seem ready for school, as how would he nap and so on? …
8:23 a.m. — I am countering back that he would sleep longer, and drop his nap completely. We seem to be at a standstill now.
8:27 a.m. — Finally, I decide it isn’t worth fighting over. It is one year he is not in school, fine, I know lots of kids in this area who skip the first year as well …… and to be honest, I was slightly being selfish thinking of the time I would have off without him, and I would get SO MUCH DONE, but it is ultimately my partner’s problem if I go back to work and cannot watch Little Bun while he is in school if I go back to work. My partner is doing half days at school. I shrug, this will be his problem, not mine as he is adamant on this – he will have to be the one to give up his plans for a year, if I take a new contract.
8:30 a.m. — I am just really f*@ing angry he didn’t talk to me about it to discuss the pros and cons, so I leave early for the day, to go to a meeting I have with a banker, and then I decide to go to the market for lunch.
10:02 a.m. — Meeting with a banker. Luckily he is smart enough to gauge my attitude and decides to not try and sell me on investments. He knows I keep all of my money elsewhere, it’s obvious, I have almost zero with them. I sign up for the new chequing account to get my $300.
11:26 a.m. — I drop by and have a relaxing, calming, delicious pork curry. It is SO GOOD. $16
12:16 p.m. — OH SO THIS IS WHAT WATERMELON RADISHES LOOK LIKE!!! I always wondered. I almost buy some but did not have the rest of the salad or a use for them… yet. I may come back.
2:30 p.m. — Home, Little Bun is just up from his nap and I successfully avoided “browsing” a nearby store I love because I know I will want everything in that store and will not be able to resist the sales. *Pats self on back*
3:16 p.m. — I accept an offer from Poshmark Canada for the sale of a gym bag. Sweet! $46 in my pocket. Better than $0. I wasn’t using the bag anyway. +$46
3:49 p.m. — I take Little Bun out to the park again. He has chalk now, and he basically colours everything around him, including cut tree trunks which ends up looking quite artistic and beautiful.
6:30 p.m. — Home. I have been taking Little Bun out of the apartment for long periods of time because my partner has been painting and the fumes are very strong. It actually has been a lot of fun, because I bring my book, and I play soccer with Little Bun, so it is more fun than when he was a baby and I had to constantly trail / watch him to make sure he didn’t kill himself. He is now independent and I sit on a bench, and let him wander off and do things even if he is out of my line of sight. I am teaching him that I trust him, and he can trust himself.
7:15 p.m. — Dinner time. Still sort of angry about this morning.
8:56 p.m. — Bedtime.
??:?? — Coughing. Little Bun is sick, and my throat is sore, so I am .. obviously sick as well too. I am running a light fever, and I have a headache.
6:30 a.m. — Little Bun is up and seems perfectly healthy. A few hacking coughs but then he doesn’t cough or sniffle the whole day. Weird. I on the other hand, am tired and dizzy. Little Bun knows today is normally Metro Riding Day, but I am really not feeling well, so I gently tell him Mommy is sick and we cannot go out to ride on the train because she will vomit. He nods sympathetically, as he has also experienced being motion sick and brings it up every time we mention “Road Trip”.
7:09 a.m. — After my tea, I fix up a few of my necklaces, replacing the findings with the right colour (gold) instead of using the brass that was hanging about.. It looks so weird I never wear the necklaces, so now that they are fixed, absolutely zero excuse.
7:59 a.m. — I repair his stuffed toy, sewing all the open spots, and then handing it back, all freshly washed and clean.
8:25 a.m. — I finish my little hardware store necklace experiment, and am pleased with it until I wear it and see it do this:
8:38 a.m. — I dig up an old choker that I no longer use, and thread it through just the bottom half section to make the necklace keep its U shape:
After I thread it through. it looks much better!
…and…… TA DAH!!!
11:08 a.m. — Lunch time. Vegetarian – eggs, and a salad with some bread and tons of these amazing tomatoes.
11:50 a.m. — Little Bun plays with his comatose father in the bedroom. They’re both tired.
1:28 p.m. — He goes down for his nap, and I head out to buy some Liberté treats for under $5 instead of buying a dessert or going out to eat. $4.49
2:10 p.m. — Up from his nap, I kiss him, he squeals happily, and I give him milk. He has been coughing all day, and I know my partner blames me for having taken him to the water park and gotten him soaked before coming home. I won’t do it again without a towel… oh well, he isn’t dying, just sick. And needs more cuddles.3
3:16 p.m. — I clean up around the apartment, and do all the dishes.
6:50 p.m. — Dinner time!.. then I make myself a quick meal from the leftovers.
8:56 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — Coughing.
??:?? — More coughing.
??:?? — Crying.
??:?? — Coughing.
??:?? — Crying.
6:00 a.m. — I am beat. He was coughing and crying / wailing all night… I am super tired.
9:59 a.m. — I return the findings I bought the other day, because the gold is not the right shade. Little Bun didn’t want me to go out, but I told him I needed to get the money back. –$11.98
11:08 a.m. — I pick up some fish and zucchini for a quick lunch with rice today. I didn’t bring my own container, so I stupidly had to take the foam one for the fish. Next time, I’ll bring a bamboo plate (light, and won’t affect the scale / tare weight), and ask them to use that instead, and put the fish in a reusable glass container. I feel bad and stupid. $9.18
12:10 p.m. — My partner finishes the vegetable stew for the week, and I eat my lunch.
12:28 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for his nap – he needs it, being sick. I’m also feeling a bit sick with a sore throat but I can’t help it. If I nap, I won’t sleep well tonight.
1:25 p.m. — I do a bit of blogging but my brain is all foggy, so I just watch some mindless videos of my favourite TV shows (Castle, Monk, Elementary)… to let my brain wind down.
2:11 p.m. — Up from his nap.
4:56 p.m. — Little Bun wants to hear more “bear stories”. I started on a whim, this activity of naming 3 bears who lived in the forest, loosely
based stolen plagiarized from Goldilocks. I started the first story as Goldilocks, and then he asked for another “set of 5”, which turned into “2 set of 5”, which equals to 10 stories a night. I keep the stories short, no real plot, climax, or satisfying ending, and he keeps asking for more of them. Our last few adventures were how Baby Bear ate blueberries instead of picking them into his basket.
6:10 p.m. — I eat some dinner – the rest of the fish and zucchini. Little Bun thinks they’re lemons and remembers when he ASKED for lemon juice (and he drank it all too!), and proceeds to tell me that “lemons are yucky”.
9:40 p.m. — Bedtime. I am already half in bed to be honest, have been for 45 minutes, making up bear stories.
??:?? — Coughing.
??:?? — More coughing.
6:20 a.m. — He woke up with a hacking cough but then it is okay the rest of the day.
9:59 a.m. — We head to City Hall to look at signing papers for a formal marriage. Little Bun is NOT GOOD in public spaces unless there are toys and things to distract him, and I have learned to keep a little roll of tape in my bag to let him use as a “rolly wheel” when we are out. It is simple and keeps him busy. This is what he clings to the ENTIRE TIME as his new bestie… LOL
11:08 a.m. — My partner heads out to his favourite store – Home Depot – where he is a regular, and buys more stuff to fix / paint the apartment. I warn him I have an appointment later.
12:08 p.m. — He’s back, and tells me he has another appointment an hour after mine at the bank. I tell him my appointment is all the way north, about an hour away, so ………. yeah. Reschedule yours.
2:00 p.m. — At my appointment for my knee. $80
3:55 p.m. — HOME! Sweet sound of silence. I guess Little Bun napped, and then his father took him to the bank on the errand. This is rare, to be honest, because I am usually at home to watch him, or vice versa. Or, I am usually the one brave (stupid?) enough to take him out alone on little metro adventures.
4:25 p.m. — They’re home. *sob* That silence was short lived. When I get time off, I have so many things I want to do. I want to redo the junk drawer. No, I want to go through my rings. NO, I want to take a shower! NO WAIT! READ A BOOK .. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!
6:20 p.m. — Dinner time, he eats his stew… and then VOMITS IT UP INTO THE BOWL along with a smoothie he had. OMFG ….
6:26 p.m. — I clean up, grossed out, and then feed him pasta instead. I know he has a strong gag reflex and he really was not feeling soup today.
8:17 p.m. — We watch movies until it is time to sleep.
??:?? — Tired.. it must be really early, light is barely up.
6:00 a.m. — Yeah. 6 a.m. I grab his milk, and then just get up. If I try to sleep again, I’ll feel dizzy and nauseous. I already feel sick to be honest, it is about to rain, and the drop in pressure makes me very dizzy. I don’t feel good.
7:49 a.m. — I try to eat to calm down my nausea.
8:38 a.m. — I lie in bed, doing math with Little Bun. He loves working through workbooks, and at the end it says all the other books in the series of various grades. He obviously WANTS THEM ALL, but I told him we have to work through one book at a time, and I have other ones to do with him this year. I don’t ever push him. He is the one who asks me to do math with him, and now he is actually printing and writing numbers ON HIS OWN which means it is a nice, quiet activity for the most part, until he makes a mistake and gets upset, crying for the eraser.
12:08 p.m. — Lunch. Little Bun is down for his nap, and I am reading. My brain stops comprehending after a few pages, so I just watch TV shows. My head really hurts. I go to try and find some Tylenol but we’re out, so I make a note to buy more.
3:41 p.m. — Little Bun is up from his nap, and his father is downstairs cleaning the lockers and the cars? I have no idea.. I feel so sick.
9:00 p.m. — Bedtime. He has been watching Pixar short films and loves them. My favourite one is this one – Partly Cloudy.
6:00 a.m. — The rain has stopped and the sun is out, so the pressure has lifted, and I feel better than yesterday. Less dizzy / nauseous. I make some tea, and then I sit with Little Bun and watch the world go by, explaining what people from our windows high up are doing in the parks, and on the roads.
7:29 a.m. — My partner starts working immediately, and I do the dishes while he watches videos. He gets bored of videos and runs off to play with blocks, and a pencil acting like a ‘train’ on a bench… At least he is quiet and occupied, so I have a mental break to check my bank accounts and go through my list of what to get done today.
8:08 a.m. — I have such a craving for key lime pie. SUCH A CRAVING. I need to satisfy this somehow.
10:45 a.m. — I eat an early lunch. I am never hungry in the mornings, I tend to get hungry around mid-morning just before lunch… Little Bun eats lunch too.
1:08 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for his nap after a croissant, and I discover Billie Ellish. OMG. I am obsessed with her songs, my two favourites being: Bad Guy and You should see me in a crown .. they mostly all start off a bit slow (except for Bad Guy), but the beat, the bass, the mix of melody, the music slides & mix… wow. I am blown away. I have heard of her, but never knew she was an artist. These two make you want to move to the beat, and that’s what I love.
3:28 p.m. — Little Bun is up from his nap and my partner starts painting the ENTIRE APARTMENT. Yes. ENTIRE APARTMENT…. I have Little Bun quarantined in the bedroom from the fumes with me. No park outing, he made me so angry the other day with The Fuckening that I am not taking him out any more until I am mentally ready.
6:30 p.m. — Deep into movies, mostly Tom and Jerry. He loves them.
7:45 p.m. — Laptop dies. We move on to math drills, and he does them as I look at his cute little boy face, working out the equation.
7:51 p.m. — He rubs his tummy furiously. That’s his new sign for being hungry. I grab a meal and end it with fruit.
10:33 p.m. — Time for bed. My partner is still working, removing tape, and cleaning up. He is tired.
??:?? — Screaming. I am jolted from my deep sleep, and I wrap the blanket around him, rub his back, and make “shhhhh” sounds.
??:?? — Crying and screaming. I wake up again, and pull him up onto the bed (he wiggled off the futon onto the floor – we sleep on the floor on a thick cotton futon, he didn’t fall), and wrap him back up again.
7:03 a.m. — I blearily grab his milk, and when we are both up, I quietly close the door and let my partner sleep.
7:19 a.m. — I make tea, and try to keep a lid on this child so my partner can rest.
7:28 a.m. — My partner gets up – I am sure he didn’t sleep but just dozed off here and there, and he goes out to run errands.
8:05 a.m. — I feed Little Bun breakfast, lots of fruit, cheese, and go through what I want to get done today. Frankly, my head is killing me from the rain – whenever it is about to rain or just after the rain, the drop in the barometric pressure gives me such nausea.. I have pills for it, but I don’t like taking medication unless I am in PAIN. Even when I had my C-Section from Little Bun, I refused to take the pain medication unless I really needed it. Not trying to be a heroine, just trying to not put extra stuff in my body that is not required. I’ll do it when it REALLY matters.
10:12 a.m. — How did the morning just pass by? I guess I was fking around on Instagram too much.. as usual. I may need to take a break.
12:08 p.m. — I head out for that vegan crab burger I have been craving and a vegan key lime pie. They are both SO GOOD. $22.44
12:28 p.m. — Hmm.. I have about $70 left of my $200 fund, and I have about 6 days left. I did REALLY well on my $200 budget this month. I’m excited to see how next month goes. If I can keep my expenses low, and have my income just equal my expenses (net $0), that would tide me over until my next contract.
1:44 p.m. — I am starting to really lose any sort of energy or charisma to shop unnecessarily, and I am trying to stay / go more vegan which is not so hard, as I rarely eat pork or beef anyway, even chicken is rare. It is hurting my soul. The Amazon burning with deliberately set forest fires for cattle ranching and for deforestation for wood, paper and pulp products, are weighing on my conscience. I was looking at Little Bun last night and almost started crying. What kind of world am I leaving him and his future family? He is just such a little innocent, and here we are, fking it all up for them. I will likely be dead before any of this affects me — but I do not want him to live with this and through what hellish mess is to come.
2:56 p.m. — Headache. It must be about to rain again.
6:56 p.m. — Dinner
7:30 p.m. — I sit with Little Bun and do math drills – he loves these things, and wants to finish the whole book but our light right now is off (my partner is painting the entire apartment and didn’t want to get electrocuted from the plugs hanging out), and I promise him we’ll finish the book tomorrow.
8:56 p.m. — Bedtime. I lie in bed and try to read…
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.