Week of Money: Where Little Bun has two meltdowns in a day and I managed to stay calm (OMG)
9:08 a.m. — We do an early Facetime with my mother who is off today.
9:40 a.m. — I tear the apartment apart looking for my passport. Only to find it safely tucked away in my special documents folder for this reason. I panicked for no reason, and I WAS GOING NOWHERE, but somehow I wondered where my passport was, and here we are.
3:40 p.m. — Outside on the balcony, Little Bun is yelling: PLEASE GO ON THE SIDEWALK ….. And I tell him to not say anything because it isn’t his life or his place to police people who do not want to walk on sidewalks and risk their lives getting their foot or bodies run over by distracted drivers or bicyclists.
7:40 p.m. — We call my mother again:
I have questions for you !!
60 minus * equals 40! What does * represent?
I have no idea what you’re saying LOL
I don’t understand!!
I’m trying to teach you algebra! Because your brain uses algebra all the time. For example 12 minus 7 is like thinking of 7 plus what equals 12 in your brain…!
12:22 p.m. — Little Bun was grumpy today, and I was getting stressed because of it. I always want to fix things, it’s in my nature…
So I tell him as he runs off:
Don’t be grumpy at your Mommy!!!
He runs out of the bedroom after running in and says:
I CAN BE GRUMPY IF I WANT TO.
*pauses* .. yes you can. You can be as grumpy as you want to be. I just wish I could help fix it, that’s all. But I can’t help right now because I have a conf call.
He hugged me and ran off, and then got over it somehow and came back in a good mood.
It’s hard just … letting kids be upset or grumpy. It’s not bad but I want to help 🙁 However – it’s very important they know it’s okay to be angry, sad, grumpy, and he is still loved very much.
Parenting is hard.
Patting myself on the back today for handling two major meltdowns.
First one was doing his workbook pages.
We are using BrainQuest and he didn’t realize I wanted all the pages done, not just the adventure quest he chose (they had A and B. B was harder.) Commence tantrum. I stayed very calm in the 45 minutes and finally understood that he would have done the harder adventure first and left the easier one for later. I told him we just mixed up the timing.
He finally accepts it and does his pages. My partner was losing it at the 1/2 hour mark because he said “He has to do them anyway, what’s the big deal!? Why are we even arguing?”
I kept my cool and Little Bun was not happy but understood. I can understand his frustration in not having chosen or decided early on, but I said that school next year would be disappointing like this too, having to do pages in an order he doesn’t like. Or whatever.
Second meltdown was after his 1.5 hour nap. He needed it be he was screaming especially loud in the morning, so I could see he woke up too early and
was overtired Once I reminded myself that he was exhausted, I managed to stay calmer and detach myself from his screaming to not take it personally.
(Trust me, it is an 8-year work in progress to do this, as I find it very difficult to handle emotions from a child, and I am working through my own issues in regards to this.)
He was upset he went into 15:45 sleep time not ending at 15:00. He saw it as having wasted 45 minutes of potential computer time and he wanted less math questions (he gets 4 he wanted 2) Commence screaming and argument against napping – which by the way he needed – and I said he could talk about this now and waste time or get to work on his 4 math questions to earn computer time and have more time to watch YouTube videos (he loves watching (wholesome) gamers).
I spent 30 minutes calming him down and reaching him to tell him WHY we were doing these things – making him nap, making him do math questions.
Calmed, he did his 4 problems, got them all right (another prerequisite to computer time) had an hour to spare for computer (cutoff is 18:00). Everything worked
His math questions by the way are:
39415 x 26
25294 x 48
…and so on. He’s 8, before you ask.
And yes he can do them all, and he knows how to, but he just simply does not focus or want to, and this is a hard lesson we are teaching him – how to develop methods of focusing, checking his work, doing it carefully but also efficiently, and understanding that in this very moment in time, these questions are important, and he can do the other things later, after he is done.
We use the same skills as adults all the time, and some of us have developed it better than others, learning how to focus in a noisy room, or going to the library to study when everyone went out drinking and partying instead. We developed skills to think to ourselves – We need to get it done. This is important. Forget the fun stuff for now, you can relax after exams are over. .… and it has helped both of us immensely in school and in work, to develop these skills, and we want him to get that done, learn how to be independent or the methods to get there, along with learning how to be responsible with his time and manage it. All of this is hard to learn, and easier as you get used to it and are able to prioritize.
I also remind him that he was doing math since he was a baby in diapers, and that is why the questions are getting harder for him now, as he already started at 18 months with basic numbers. If you are interested, this is how I got him to do math and read by the age of 3 with ZERO stress, pushing or forcing him; we just made it fun and let him choose to do it or not.
7:51 p.m. — A friend comes over for a visit and ends up missing her train at the end of the day and has to stay the night. Little Bun is OVER THE MOON. We get a NIGHTTIME GUEST? WHO IS SLEEPING OVER? He is losing it, he is so excited.
We end up all playing a game on the floor that he invented, to roll a toy car towards an object, to see how close we can get to it to win. Best out of 3 tries, the closest one consistently, wins. It is more difficult than it looks. He records all of our scores down on a piece of paper. I have never felt happier in my life than playing this game right now with my best friend, Little Bun, my partner and just hanging out.
Hesitantly, I purchased almost all of the Blume caffeine-free teas (use referral code for $10 off) as a way to (A) get something hot to drink that is caffeine free at night, and (B) try different flavours. I was pleasantly surprised! They are ridiculously expensive, I will say. Almost $30 for a pack, which they say makes 20 servings but actually makes 10 if you want an intense flavour like I do. You can get the packs for cheaper by buying in bulk on their site, which brings the cost down to around $20.
Then adding my fancy oat milk to it, it works out to about $5 for a full cup of excellent caffeine-free drinks, made at home and delicious with no added sugar or other crap. I still have Starbucks from time to time, but their syrup is giving me pause as it is full of high-glucose corn syrup and I am less into spiking my early descent into diabetes, so I have been trying to cut back on the syrup.
I already order Starbucks with no water, and HALF the syrup, but it is still sweet and not spicy enough because the spices are IN the syrup. So the more syrup you have, the more spice you have, which is where my dilemma was. I pay about $6.83 for the SMALL mug of this, but I can make a larger size of it at home for $5. Feels like a $1.83 win to me!
At any rate, I am hooked.
If you like turmeric you will like this. The golden mylk blend of this, is truly delicious. I like the spiciness, the turmeric is very good for your health, and I am definitely keeping this one around.
ROSE LONDON FOG BLEND
Another surprising favourite. I don’t think I was ever into Rose London Fog as much as I was into Earl Grey, but this one has Earl Grey hints while being soft and mellow. I am certainly keeping this one.
ORGANIC OAT MILK CHAI BLEND
THIS is the Chai that is replacing the Starbucks one for me. I put a generous dose of it in a cup with milk, and the spiciness, is delicious. I could also do the individual spices themselves, but you cannot boil oat milk – it turns slimy – so I sort of need a pre-made chai blend to be able to drink this milk-free.
If you like beets, you will enjoy this one. I don’t hate it, but I don’t LOVE it to where I want to spend $20 – $30 on a bag of it. It is beet-y, flavourful, delicious. Just not more delicious than the others.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.