Inspired by Franish (LOVE HER BLOG!), here are my own rules of what I will and won’t wear.
It kind of helps cut down on even trying on things because just by looking at the garment, I know if I will or won’t wear it.
NATURAL FABRICS TO AVOID THE SWEATY PIG LOOK
By natural, I mean breathable. No polyester, please. Rayon is OK, so is Viscose, or even some poly-blends (if it’s truly amazing) will pass my fabric test, but I tend to only choose fabrics that won’t make me sweat like a pig.
NO STRAPLESS ANYTHING
Hate wearing strapless bras. I ONLY want to wear a bra with my clothes. I don’t want to go bra-less and I don’t want to wear a strapless bra.
NO SHORTS
I hate how they ride up. I also hate the look of longer shorts on me. Therefore, shorts are banned from my wardrobe unless they’re for lounging around.
ONLY V-NECK LINES
It’s the only neckline that looks good on me with my broad shoulders. Boatnecks and squarenecks are out of the question. Crewnecks still make it into my wardrobe but usually in t-shirt form.
NO CAP SLEEVE SHIRTS
Like Franish, I hate cap sleeve shirts. They make my broad shoulders look even broader.
NO LOW RISE ANYTHING
I have very slim / thin hips, and low-rise anything (contrary to popular belief) is very unflattering. It makes my flat butt look even flatter, and I hate the idea of bending down and having a plumber’s butt show, or worse, just feeling like my pants are falling off and giving me muffin top where there isn’t any.
I HATE yanking up my pants. HATE.
NO MIDRIFF-BARING ANYTHING
No one needs to see my muffin top, particularly one that has been through a pregnancy that left it scarred and stretched with PUPPPS (yes, they are STILL there and they look horrendous).
NO BAGGY-BUTT ANYTHING
Again, flat butts need help. Anything baggy in the butt has to be banished from my closet.
NOTHING SKINTIGHT
How am I supposed to stuff my face with food if my clothes are skintight and won’t give an inch? TELL ME THAT!
NO HEMLINES ABOVE MID-THIGH
I don’t mind wearing mini skirts as long as they aren’t TOO mini. Microminis are out of the question, but anything longer than where my fingertips hit my thighs are OK by me because I have nice, slim legs. *shrug*
NO OVERLY TRENDY ITEMS
Harem pants come to mind. I even bucked the skinny jean / pant trend for so long that it became a classic look with knee-high boots before I bought my first pair and fell in love.
When I wear my skinny pants with a blazer, I dream that I look like this Olsen twin (simple, effortless, cool):
NO THIN STRAPPED ANYTHING
I hate thin straps like spaghetti straps on tops because it makes my shoulders look very wide, and I can’t wear a bra comfortably underneath those tops without a bra strap showing (call me old fashioned but I don’t want to show my bra off, thankyouverymuch).
I like thick-strapped tops.
Exceptions: 2 dresses. I own 2 dresses with very thin straps but I love them so much, I don’t care. I just belt the hell out of them.
NO SWEAT-ANYTHING
Hate. I hate the look except for when I am lounging around at home. I just can’t wear that stuff outside, it makes me feel so underdressed and … well, naked.
WHEN IN DOUBT, BELT IT TO GIVE ME A WAIST OF SOME SORT
When I am not sure about a dress, or a top, or what have you, I belt it. It usually ends up looking awesome because I have a serious collection of belts (obi, buckled, you name it, I got it.)
