In Career, Discussions

Negative Energy: How do you work around this?

We encounter a lot of negative energy in our lives.

Most of all, I find the harshest critic we have is ourselves.

Inside, we feel like we don’t measure up to our own expectations and then when we see someone we perceive to “have it all” and be more successful in certain aspects versus us, we can feel jealous and turn that into negativity against the person rather than using it as motivation.

I’m not immune to this. I think to myself that I could have done better.

If only I had controlled my spending during college better. I’d have more money.

If only I had refused to date losers. I’d have avoided a lot of my sticky situations.

If only I had learned that quality is much better than quantity. I’d have used and bought less.

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda.

Honestly, I have many regrets but none of the decisions I made in the end, would be things I ever regretted.

I made the right decisions in the end but I wish I had not put myself in many of the situations I ended up in, you know?


Then aside from ourselves, we have negative energy from people around us.

Friends, family, colleagues, passing random strangers.

This stuff drains you. I hate to say it, but when I go to work and I am thinking of two people in particular, just LOOKING at their faces drains me because they have this look of stubborn negativity that it makes you so…. damn…. tired.

You think:

Why am I fighting so hard?

Why am I trying so hard?

Do I need to really argue like this? I am just causing myself more stress and headache.

Why can’t I just leave it alone?

So, how do deal with this?

I have come up with a few ways to cope, not all good I am sure, but they have let me get through my day without losing my #%(#% publicly….

LEAVE THE ENVIRONMENT COMPLETELY

I get up, I leave it completely and go to another area of the building where no one knows me, and I hide out.

I recharge for about 10 – 30 minutes depending on how stressed I am and seeing as I am a bit of an introvert (I cannot handle so much frenetic energy without exploding), I feel much better after just doing stupid things like noting down my day for my Week of Money posts, or just Instagramming.

I find that leaving the environment completely gets me out of that depressing funk or zone. I can take a deep cleansing breath and forget about it, then come back once I have re-grouped.

TALK TO A FRIEND/COLLEAGUE

I have confidantes I talk to, to try and release this valve of pressure and stress.

They’re pretty safe (I think) and it helps me calm down when they ask me at the end: So, do you feel better? We can stay here a bit longer if you want.

They know and don’t know what I am dealing with. I am very grateful for these people at work and treat them like gold.

PUT ON HEADPHONES

https://amzn.to/2Ot1Aci

This is where my noise-cancelling Bose QuietComfort 35 headphones come into play.

You can’t just wear regular headphones in an open office plan.

(By the way, I truly, desperately LOATHE open office concepts — we get NOTHING done versus having had our own little offices / cubicles before. HATE. OPEN OFFICE.)

I put on these headphones and frankly when I have them on, the message should be: Email me, don’t tap me on the shoulder or talk to me.

I find the headphones help keep some people away but not all.

THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

Sometimes, I sit there, and daydream.

Or I take my notebook, go out to the cafeteria and just plan out my budget for the year. I note down how much I spend, how much I plan on spending, any upcoming visits or events, and then add a 20% contingency as “income” I need to make it to the end of the year.

Budgeting, and playing with numbers, or researching into stocks I am interested in (Obsidian Energy – OBE is on my hit list these days), really helps take my mind off work.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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5 Comments

  1. Clo

    Sorry to hear that work is rough right now. I work in a fast-paced environment where I have to be “on” and talking to people all day, so taking breaks and using headphones is crucial for the introvert that I am. (I also have my packages delivered to different “points dépôt” around my work so that I always have an excuse to pop out for fresh air.) One question – how do you select your stocks? I have your investing guide, but I didn’t see a specific section on stock picking. I’d love have more info on how you go about that!

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I need breaks and often. It is getting to me, my work. Especially project after project… two, three at the same time.

      Sure — will write a post

      Reply
    2. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      Thank you. I use headphones too, but even the noise-cancelling expensive AF ones, does not block out everyone.

      I have a post on how I pick stocks coming up. Working on it now 😉 Stay tuned.

      Reply
  2. SarahN

    OMG I have colleagues so very close that’s VOICE drives me nuts. Constantly whinging about paperwork not being emailed in the right way – just such small issues. And such a voice of ‘I know best’ when she’s rather unintelligent. And her boss is also an evasedropper, which to me is ok at work, but if I do the reverse I get his wrath. So I do a LOT of headphones… and blog reading to destress from silly emails worried about typos – as if I intend to have a typo!

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH YOU. I just try to block it out these days and distance myself, but then people comment / complain? .. that I seem to have changed.

      Reply

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