Specifically, my NOT having a smartphone seems to irritate / irk some folks.
(Mildly bothered of course, they’re not rabid mad at me for not having one, but it just bothers them.)
I find it rather amusing that I don’t have a smartphone but people think I need one, and here are a few of my observations:
1. I OWN A BUSINESS AND THEREFORE “NEED” ONE
Technically the business is my brain but same difference. I may not have a storefront and inventory but I am a freelancer.
So as a business owner, I SHOULD have a cellphone, and at the very least a smartphone, no?
No.
I only need a telephone number and that’s what I have. I don’t have a smartphone.
Actually, the guys at the U.S. border are constantly baffled by this when I try and cross on a working visa, and they ask me where my smartphone / cellphone is and I tell them I don’t have one.
(I use email for everything. Phones can’t record details, emails are better for that.)
You can see their faces get this puzzled “does not compute” look because as a business person… EVERYONE has a cellphone goddamnit!
Even BABIES have cellphones.
(Okay not really, but apparently they make Fisher Price cellphones now to play with for $9.)
Hello? Grandma? I’m learning how to interact with a device instead of a human!
It’s called the “Laugh and Learn” Flip phone.
Does anyone find that name as ironic as I do?
I think smart phones to some extent have made us dumber, not smarter.. and not to mention that we don’t really know the effects of potential radiation that is coming off from these items.
Seeing as they kind of have to be glued to your head to speak, I wonder if it has any medically-related, long-lasting effect on our brains other than its obvious addictive qualities.
2. PEOPLE CAN’T CHANGE PLANS ON ME WITHOUT LETTING ME KNOW IN ADVANCE
Late 15 minutes to our meeting?
I have no effin’ clue where you are and what you are doing.
I’ll just think you’re ill-mannered, and didn’t show up on time and this annoys me because I really hate being late and I expect people to not be late either.
(It’s just rude, being late. It’s like telling someone: Screw you, my time is more valuable than yours. We made plans but you can wait for me.)
Granted in this case, I tend to wait anywhere from 15 minutes – 45 minutes depending on my mood, what I had to eat that day (if my blood sugar is low, I am less patient), and who I am meeting.
I am also more forgiving in certain circumstances. I don’t hold grudges against people being late unless they are consistently flaky and late.. in which case, I just stop meeting with them if I am able to.
But you know what? It forces people to show up to meet me because they couldn’t get in touch with me to bail on plans that we’ve made.
If you don’t want to meet me, say so. I won’t be offended.
Just don’t call the day of the meeting to cancel and expect me to want to give up another slot of my time (including getting there and back) to spend time and meet you.
3. PEOPLE CAN’T MAKE IMPROMPTU PLANS WITHOUT GIVING ME NOTICE
I plan everything. If I have to be somewhere, I need to know at least 24 hours in advance. I can squeeze in a meeting with a 12-hour time frame, but … basically you need to do me the courtesy of telling me you want to meet.
There’s no such thing as: “Hey I’ll just call you.. and we’ll do.. something.. whenever I call!”
What am I? Your lap dog? Am I just waiting around for your call, hanging by the phone hoping that you do so we can go out?
No .. no I am not.
You have to give me notice. At least 24 hours, preferably 48 because guess what? I MAY HAVE PLANS TOO!
4. I AM NOT GLUED TO ANY DEVICE
With email at home, I have a specific place and set hours to answer emails. I am not glued to my phone answering emails 2 seconds afterwards, and I choose when to answer (which I like!)
Also, when I am out with friends.. I AM OUT WITH FRIENDS.
I am not glued to my phone tweeting about how awesome it is to be with friends. I am actually thrilled and feeling awesome to BE with friends.
Remember talking … opening your mouth and letting words come out?.. To friends?… Without an electronic device in between you?
It’s kind of how you made friends early in life, without an electronic device… right?
I know a couple that sits right beside each other and would prefer to text message, instant message or email each other than to actually open their mouths and speak.
Yes. They prefer texting each other to speaking.
So it becomes extremely awkward when people take this behaviour of being glued to their smart phones as being totally acceptable and normal.
You end up at a dinner, sipping your drink awkwardly, watching your dinner guests text message and tweet to each other about how excited they are to be with you ….. while ignoring you.
My brother in particular is a crazy fiend for this. He will be on his smartphone pretty much every minute of the day he is awake.
He feels sick if he doesn’t check his phone to see if there’s an email, a new piece of news, or what have you. I can see the addiction in his eyes and it’s kind of scary.
5. I AM NOT AT A BECK AND CALL OF A DEVICE
When the phone rings and I am lying down watching a video, or napping I ignore it and let the answering machine get it.
In fact, I curse that stupid phone for ringing because I don’t want to get up and it’s ruining my moment.
If I hear that it happens to be urgent because someone is screaming: PICK UP THE PHONE GODDAMNIT! … then I get up and pick up the phone.
Otherwise, it is not life or death, so I leave it.
I’ve seen people react to their phones like Pavlov’s dogs.. jumping up at the slightest buzz, ring or just to pet their phone to make sure it’s alive.
Honestly, it sounds exhausting.
6. I AM NOT IGNORING ANYONE
I don’t have this fallback option of actively having to check my phone every 10 minutes to see what happened on Facebook, Twitter or what have you.
Unless I am in front of a computer, I am not checking anything. I am focused on my conversations with others, I am concentrating on Baby Bun and I am not ignoring anyone beside me who wants to spend time with me.
It kind of drives me mad that when people come and visit (*cough*brother*cough*), the minute you turn around, he’s on his phone checking his email or .. surfing.. or doing whatever.
I want to say: Can we have a human-to-human conversation without you touching that device!!?!?


