I got called “spoiled” the other day half jokingly by a friend who knows I recently bought my fancy new car (and he actually visibly dying to drive it but knows I won’t let him because only my partner and I touch this car. I told him he can SIT in it….)
I replied back:
What I found funny about the whole thing is that he’s the one with his own fancy car (not 6-figures, but still not bad!), and is always taking vacations, going out to eat daily, and just spending money like it is water.
He is a bit like me in some ways (spending-wise), I’ll concede to that, but he definitely spends on the little things in life that I have cut out like getting a weekly massage, dinners out (like $70+) twice a week, and so on.
I used to budget in the idea of a weekly facial or spa, but then gave up on that quickly and moved on to yoga instead, although I am thinking I am going to cancel on yoga because I am unable to make it as often as I think I can…
Plus he is single so I guess he has to spend money on dating, wooing is not cheap.
To be fair, he does save his money as well, but I think the spending is a recent change not something he has done all of his life. He actually used to make a lot of money but he recently took something that cut his earnings in half, and now I wonder if he regrets it.
He got used to the spending inflation and now has to downgrade, significantly, so when I showed up with my new car news (he saw me, AND THEN pestered me about it), he (I think) got a bit jealous.
I can’t judge any spending to be honest, or managing my money because I was useless at money until I left school and joined the real world to have my $60,000 student debt slap me in the face to make me finally take control of my money with my budgeting & expense tracking tool.
All that said, I find it very telling it is a GUY telling a GIRL she is spoiled.
(It made me think of this comic by the super fab Gemma Correll)
If a guy friend of his went out and bought a 6-figure car, would he call him spoiled? I think not.
It’s like they think women can’t make their own money, and spend it on stuff like fancy cars IF THEY WANT TO.
My partner is super happy I make my own money, bring home half the bacon, and he doesn’t have to worry about any of that, plus he gets the benefit of taking my car any time he wants because I share what I have. He gets to enjoy it too. FOR FREE, cuz he didn’t pay for a single penny of it.
Why is it that no matter what I spend MY own HARD EARNED money on, be it shopping for style, or electronics or this brand new car I got, I have to get flack from people?
After all that nonsense of:
I can’t believe you spent that kind of money on a car. I mean, I COULD buy that car, but I would NEVER spend that money.
…coming out of his mouth, he switched to:
You know, I’m looking for a Sugar Momma…
…to which I replied:
Why would I pay for something I don’t want?
What are YOU bringing to the table?
And that effectively shut him up for a bit, at least on the Sugar Momma side. Anyway, he knows I’m very taken but he I think, had a little Green-Eyed monster happening on his side, and he was really not feeling too pleased with himself at that moment.
If it is my money, I earned it, I saved it, I am entitled to, and can do WHATEVER I WANT with it.
It is MY money.
Just because I think having a nice car is very useful as I do use it daily (and actually, I use it more often now and take pleasure in driving and even getting stuck in traffic because I am comparing to what I drove before), and am willing to spend money on it to make a terrible chore (driving) that much more pleasant, it doesn’t mean that I am spoiled.
Know what “spoiled” means?:
Key word in that definition?
G I V E N
I wasn’t GIVEN jack squat!
It was my money because I earned it, I saved it, I spent it.
No one gave me that car, no one gave me that money. I worked for it. End of discussion.
I think the right word he was searching for and clearly missed was:
You got dat right.