Watch this video (but not mandatory)
If any of what Elle says, applies to you, then you and I are the same person as well.
I can 100% relate to everything she posted. I mean, I don’t think I would have confirmed 10/10 all of the signs she posted as questions to know if you have a shopping addiction, but I was scoring 25 at the end of it, giving “5” to some of the questions and “1” to others.
Now that I am at the end of my journey more or less, money isn’t even an issue to me any longer in the sense that I no longer need to (but I still do it) check my budget or continue being diligent on investing, and that is a privilege I have worked very hard for.
I can now indulge in impulsive purchases and not feel any guilt or pain afterwards. It isn’t a big deal any longer and I no longer feel shame in spending.
So here is a very short, sweet checklist of how to break an addiction…
1. Decide what you want more out of life – freedom or things?
Financial freedom to say “fk you” and walk away from any situation or job?
Or a new pair of shoes that look very similar to the other pair of shoes in your wardrobe?
It really was that simple.
Decide that you want freedom more than things, and you are already halfway through the struggle.
If you cannot shift your cognitive narrowing (hyper fixation) on shopping and buying or acquiring new things, to acquiring wealth instead or feeling free, then you won’t make it.
If you set an emotional goal like – I want to be able to cover a new car purchase without scrambling for it – then that is your goal.
Mine was:
I want to be able to never be forced to work at a job I hate to pay bills.
2. Start tracking your expenses and categorizing them
SO. MANY. ARTICLES. ON. HOW. TO. DO. THIS.
There is no excuse. I really don’t want to hear it.
Here, read these posts to get you started
Right now.
Grab a pen and paper, nothing fancy, write down what you take home net every month, and then… list out every time you spend money on something and categorize it.
Do it for a month
At the end of the month, tally it up and be prepared to be shocked AF at the amounts you are spending and what you are wasting it on… (at least as shocked as I was when I first started this exercise 20+ years ago).
THen Do It again for at least 3 months
I would suggest doing it for a lifetime – I have data going back 20 years now – because you will be very excited to see your progress and WISH you had tracked it from Day One.
(Ask me how I know. Lol…)
3. If you are in debt, make a plan to get out of it
Cut the excess from the budget, leave a little happy spending money, and just plow the rest of it into your debt with a single, laser-eyed focus that burns every other shiny trinket or distracting but not money-focused goal into dust.
Imagine if you lost your job today, could you weather the storm?
If your answer is no, and you would be stressed AF, what are you doing going on a vacation you can’t afford and buying a handbag you don’t need?
You need to go back to Step #1. And until you can switch your motivation, you will not succeed.
OK but HOW to get out of debt?
- 10 steps to get out of debt
- 5-Step plan to getting out of debt for beginners
- Basic b*tch numbers you should know about your money
4. Invest in low-cost index funds
This is not investing advice, but most would say to just buy low-cost index funds. I personally do, and it has worked out very well for me.
Here is a list of personal finance books to read that you can and should read to stay on track and motivated.
5. Be ruthless with your time and money
It is very easy to want to go out with friends for a nice fun Sunday Brunch Day and spend $70. But if you don’t have the money, don’t do it.
Maybe make brunch at home instead and invite them over (way cheaper and tastier, tbh).
Or tell them truthfully – I need to be financially free. I can’t do this crappy job any more and I don’t want to. I need to get out of the debt I am in, so I have to start making changes.
If they are truly your friends, they will understand and be supportive. And some, like me, may even help you stay on track, focused and ask you every few months – Hey, how’s that debt repayment plan coming along?
They SHOULD cheer you on and encourage you if they are truly your friends. It is like being an alcoholic and saying you want to stop drinking; a true friend would never step in and try to wheedle you into drinking a cocktail for old time’s sake.
They would ruthlessly purge all alcohol from your vicinity that they could control, and be very mindful to not do anything to set you back in your journey.
And if they don’t.. well. I will leave you to decide what to do.
As for spending time without shopping?
Here are some things I personally did in the early stages:
Read a lot
Spend more time reading up on money, go through every single personal finance book you can find.
Here is a list of my personal favourites that I would 100% recommend you to read and am giving to my child to read.
Devour all the information you can on this subject.
Or read for fun. I mean, you can also do that.
If you want some book recommendations to get started, you can start on my archives here of every book I have read & recommend for the past few years.
Start growing an edible garden
As someone who has a garden now, I can tell you it sucks up a lot of free time without you even knowing it.
Learn a CRAFT
A hoop, some old cotton cloth, needle, needle threader and some embroidery floss.. and hours will whittle away. It is a nice mindless activity to keep your hands busy, even while you are watching TV.
Or pick up some air dry clay and make stuff, paint it and cover it in resin.
I also learned how to bead, and made SO MANY beaded earrings to the point where I almost had enough for a shop. LOL.
Take up painting too! Paint by numbers is much better than trying to do it on your own (I am not a good artist).
I especially love Tina Lemac for ideas because she uses old cardboard boxes and paper, and does beautiful work for almost $0.
Remember, this is for FUN not for resale or to be a professional.
Or photography. Use your phone!
You can also go for walks with friends
…and I very much liked this a LOT.. but my friends were mostly out of town, and I tried not to go for walks alone because I always ended up in a shop or a café 🙁
Clean and declutter your home
My goodness this takes a lot of time. Once you deep clean one corner or drawer, and go through your stuff, it is RIDICULOUS how little you want to shop and bring more stuff into your home.
Plus you get to rediscover your wardrobe and come up with new styles.
Watch videos to help DEINFLUENCE yourself
Lots of great personal finance documentaries here.
My favourite YouTube channels for deinfluencing and shopping
I also like playing around with my home and rearranging stuff, so Caroline Winkler, especially with her $0 redecorating series, is very helpful.
Decluttering youtube videos are also SUPER helpful because it makes me want to declutter and clean, and in doing so.. I spend $0 and want to spend even less.
You can also watch personal finance or money videos, but start with the ones with women in them like Vivian Tu. I find the ones made by male creators, not as helpful or as motivating at the start, except for Ramit Sethi.