How being bullied in school shaped me
Being teased and ostracized is not an easy thing to endure but if I were to look back I’d say that it did build character somewhat.
I was lucky in that I also came out of it unscathed in the sense that my inflated sense of self and ego was enough to counteract any harmful effects of what I had experienced.
I’d have liked to have not gone through it at all, but looking back, it wasn’t so bad.
I also wasn’t physically hazed, it was more of a mental, “oh you’re so weird”, sort of psychological torment by the other girls which any woman will tell you exists and is brutal, to say the least.
What was I teased for? Everything.
Weight, hair, skin, being smart, being quiet, loving to read, wanting to keep to myself, feeling awkward around boys (who wasn’t), feeling awkward in general, not eating the right foods, having the right clothes… you know, basic female hazing.
In the end, I am appreciative of having been teased because my defence was to grow a tough “I don’t care” shell when I very much cared deep down inside and ended up throwing myself into my studies and singular pursuits (geeky online gaming, not a cool thing for girls to do back then especially “unattractive pudgy” ones), and this led me ultimately to my career choices not to mention giving me a very real look at what it does to someone when you hurt them verbally.
It made me be more understanding and kind of root for the underdog in many situations and grew a kind of patient empathy that I doubt I may have otherwise cultivated given my tendency to be The Commander and steamroll over others.
I also feel very strongly for kids who are bullied and whom I see being bullied and stand up for them (or in Baby Bun’s case, will be teaching him how to stand up for himself but not necessarily in an aggressive manner).
All of this teasing also had a happy result at the end because I ended up growing out of my awkward Ugly Duckling phase (physically and mentally) and am exactly the person I have always wanted to be today.
I wouldn’t change who I am at all. For anything. I’d say the outcome is quite positive on my end but I daresay it isn’t the same for all kids.