In Ask Sherry, Career, Life, Style

Ask Sherry: What makes men hate women?

You asked, and I am answering every Friday once I have enough questions!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1DKFg6SD0Kmb_0U5yb4OTNfkvfmsf5dWxJJbZTzUtH7M/edit

You can ask any question using the form here.

According to you, what could be the causes of misogynism?

It could just be one interaction itself, manifested in their brains to be linked to gender, and voilà you have someone who hates women.

It could be repeated actions from various women, manifested again in their brains to be linked to gender and linked together, and that turns into hating women.

Could be linked to the way their relatives – mothers, aunts, cousins, sisters treated them.

Or just the way they’re raised – the way the male figures in their lives treated the female ones. I suspect this one might be the strongest, and the way men are brought up as boys, taught how anything feminine is “soft” and therefore “wrong” because being powerful is the most important thing, and emotions are for “sissies”, and not a sign of being a strong, well-rounded, emotionally capable person.

It is the way society also treats boys who wear pink (my son wore pink shoes for much of his life, and I had so many comments, some positive, mostly negative about the COLOUR I let him choose to wear). I also think this all shapes the way men look at women, and some of it goes too far and manifests into misogyny.

Have you ever felt that you were targeted at work, undermined, your work devalued, and thought management was trying to push you out?

Yes. It’s why I quit my job and became a freelancer, but I also experience the same attitudes in some client sites I go to.

How would you advise someone who works hard with minimal resources but expected to deliver the moon, while mostly being the compliant type, handle being in a situation like that?


Time to push back. If you don’t voice concern or say “No”, they don’t know it isn’t possible / not reasonable.

How can they possibly read your mind? If you don’t lay out logically how Project X cannot be on time because of D, E, and F reasons, and as a result, Project J is also dependent on this outcome, they won’t see all of the links.

Failing that, quit. Find another job.

Are there any colors that you don’t like in clothing?

Almost all the colours are unwearable for me, if they have the wrong tone / tint in them for my skintone, which in my case, is yellow.

Yellow-toned greens, green-toned yellows like this chartreuse blouse below, browns, pinks, reds… they all make me look very miserable and sickly, which makes me feel terrible.

I find autumnal shades in general very difficult to wear – you know, rust, muted shades of green.

I am mostly not a fan of cream and browns. Brown is a very difficult colour for me to wear.

Neons are also colours I avoid. I am not a fan of neon.. maybe that’ll change but I don’t like acid green, highlighter yellow…

I used to hate orange as well and yellow, until I found the RIGHT shade of orange – a deep persimmon, with brightness in it, and the yellow has to be a true, deep yellow like a buttercup colour. Anything paler, or muddier, is a no for me.

So for yellows, the left, and middle photos are PERFECT colours for me.

The far right one? No thank you.

Still have a burning question?

You can ask any question using the form here and all of my previous Ask Sherry posts are here.


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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K (savings rate = 85%). I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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