I must not be the ONLY woman who has ever fronted the bills and lifestyle for a boyfriend before.. I mean, I was a complete idiot about love & money, which is what made me change into being a militant 50/50 shared resources and responsibility kind of woman even while I am not working, but it seems to be a common thing amongst my friends.
I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said that she was a sugar momma for quite a while, until she “wised up” and said: never again!
What’s funny is that now she’s ended up with someone who wants her to be a sugar momma again so he can stay at home and chill out, but she is not having any of it and has told him so.
When I talked to my other male colleagues about this kind of ‘sugar momma’ behaviour, it made me wonder how really different it was from men who pay for everything for their girlfriends or wives because they enjoy being the Hunter and taking care of them.
Pretty much every guy I know except for my own partner and a few others (not including my fellow die-hard personal finance bloggers), who has been willing to open up about their money and shared fiscal responsibilities, have said that they do any or all of the following:
- Pay all the bills
- Provide a credit card which they clear each month to their partner
- Cover vacations
- Save for retirement for both couples
- Pay for the house and/or cars (to buy used or new)
…and find it completely normal to do so and to be THE MAN to take care of their partner completely and they are happy to do so.
I wonder how much of that behaviour is nature and how much of it is nurture, if we also see examples of guys who just want someone else to take care of all that stuff.
For me, it’d be great if someone else paid the bills 100% all the time, I won’t lie.. but if that means that I can’t work and I am completely dependent on them for money or independence, I’ll take the 50/50 structure I have any day.
Though come to think of it, even if I could work, it would be kind of strange to not chip in…