In Career, Discussions, Discussions, Money

Even when men don’t want to work, women get blamed for it

When will this BS stop?

Apparently women are partly to blame for men not wanting to work in “female occupations”.

Are you kidding me?

So not only do you f#%) us over when we try to enter “male occupations” like STEM (Science, Tech, Engineering, Math), you want to also say that it is our fault that men don’t want to do “female jobs”?

To add insult to injury, when men are in those “female” jobs, they MAKE MORE MONEY THAN THEIR FEMALE COUNTERPARTS.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

I am so incensed I’m typing in caps.

I only have one question:

Do you like money?

If you like money, and you want to enter an occupation that is “typically female”, you’re not going to give a single F#*% and you will MAKE THAT MONEY.

If you want to work, you will work.

Stop blaming others for your laziness.

You will not care if it is a “male” or “female” job, and by the way, I didn’t realize jobs had genders.

The problem with our society is also our cultural conditioning. How many times have you heard:

Don’t be such a girl about it

Stop _____ like a girl

Stop being a ps#$*y

Stop whining / crying like a little girl/b*tch

(in fact, the vagina is much stronger than a penis, as it gives birth and handles a lot more pain than a delicate penis can, FYI)

Our entire vocabulary and speech centers around women being weak, stupid, inferior, and emotional.

Men on the other hand, get to be strong, smart, superior and confident (not emotional). All the stuff we prize as a society and culture.

Even in the article, it states how women (!!!) don’t want men to take on these jobs like being a nurse or a nanny because it is emasculating.

Listen. If he is making bank, who cares? WHO CARES? Do you like food? Do you like your bills paid? So STFU and support him.

I really, really, REALLY hate this.

What kills me, is that only when it becomes a professional job, like cooking, suddenly MEN are the top chefs in the kitchen and the world, doing the “tough hard work”, and women are ROUTINELY kept out of professional kitchens across the country, but when it is at home where there is ZERO GLORY and only hard slogging guts — women are the only ones who should be cooking because that’s a “woman’s job and duty” in the household.

I’ve had boys actually tell me this – that men don’t cook. To my face.

SERIOUSLY?

Have we gone bonkers and accepted this? It is nonsense that women should only be allowed to be in non-professional, invisible spaces, whereas men are the only ones who should be in the spotlight, seen by everyone and praised.

We’ve got to get over this #%*.

Women, we also need to be asking for more money. I’ve talked myself blue in the face about this but it is ultimately up to YOU to ask for more money because you feel you deserve equal pay.

What can we do as individuals?

Women, do your research and check if you are being EQUALLY PAID.

Everyone, stop using, and stop encouraging (yes, staying silent is encouraging) people to say things to little boys and girls about “crying like a little girl”. Boys can cry too, and they should, they aren’t robots, they are individuals who have emotions and feelings.

Even using words like: Oh this is for a housewife … is also sexist. I’d sub in “stay at home parent” instead. My partner cooks at home and cleans some things, plus does laundry. Is he a housewife? No.

Stop talking negatively about jobs and assigning genders to them. Is it a bad thing that individuals take the jobs they are best suited at?

No?

Then STFU.

Some men are better caregivers than women, and some women are better professional butchers & cooks than men.

We should look at individuals for the talents and merits that each one has to give, rather than their gender which has nothing to really do with what they are good at.

Have your response be: And what is wrong with that? .. when it becomes racist, sexist, ageist…

I find it throws people off when they make snide comments like — oh but she is just a housewife – and I respond — so what’s wrong with that?

Just think and be fair to individuals. That’s it. It isn’t that hard to be human. At least, it shouldn’t be.

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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6 Comments

  1. Kay

    Design is something women are often interested in, and a lot of women get degrees in design, but for many design fields it’s overwhelmingly male, especially in upper management. Design jobs make you work long hours, late at night, into the weekend. This isn’t good for women with families.

    A Chef is another job forcing women to work long hours, late at night, and on the weekends. Also very bad hours for women with children. You also have to use industrial equipment that’s very heavy.

    Many science jobs make you work horrible hours and so it’s very hard to do.

    Journalism degrees are given to more women than men, but more men are journalists despite the degrees. For many journalism jobs you have to travel a lot and work late hours. Also bad for being with your family.

    More woman than men are getting legal degrees now, however, the important trial cases are given to men 70% of the time.

    When I worked at different jobs, when a management position opened up, many of my female co-workers wouldn’t even think of applying for the management position because managers don’t get paid by the hour. They get paid yearly. That means they can make her work 80 hours a week at any time if they want to. This “raise” you get for being a manager could be an illusion of they make you work long enough.

    I believe companies but giving healthcare to part time workers, or expectations on many jobs of having to work long or odd hours also contribute to women not being able to stay on those jobs practically of they want a family.

    Point is, if we want to see women in those positions more, they have to change the culture surrounded work so it’s more compatible to spend time with your family.

    Since they want people to stop reproducing because of climate change, this probably won’t happen. Sad. Women should advocate for this. Why should a lawyer, someone in Design, science or finance have to work insane hours, why don’t they just hire more workers? Is it because they don’t want to pay for another healthcare package? They don’t want to pay by the hour, but by the year, and get a slave worker with “high pay.” This payed by the year thing is a scam that just hurts women and keeps them from many jobs and higher positions.

    The reason Female jobs are lower paid is because they thought a man was paying for the whole family, but the women’s pay was just extra money for herself. Often times it is, despite 40% of women being single mothers. This makes Women feel less pressure to get a higher paying job.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      You are saying all of the points that are endlessly debated everywhere — working culture of long hours is unsustainable, particularly also when women are given long maternity leaves but fathers are discouraged from even taking 6 weeks. Women are penalized on all fronts for family obligations whereas men are held to zero standards for being parents. Then throw on top of that sexism against a woman because of her gender, add colour from her race if she is a minority…. it’s no wonder.

      Reply
  2. Corey

    When you see all the anger in the article it’s not hard to understand why men don’t want to participate an america anymore on a social capacity or in the work force, if women want to work I think that’s great, but if men don’t want to work I think that’s even better, I also think it’s great that they marry women from over seas and get on well fare. If you don’t respect your men they turn their backs on you. Who wants to deal with the disease of animus possession? I don’t.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      How can you respect people who don’t even respect you in the first place?

      Reply
  3. Sense

    Hear hear!

    I really think I would have found a partner, had kids, etc., if our society and culture were different. More equality-based and community-minded. I used to think I wanted all the ‘normal’ things society demands of us as women, but after I grew up and realized that the majority of the work would fall on me, for absolutely no reason, JUST BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN, I started really rethinking wanting to have kids, getting married, etc. At this point (41), I think I’m just going to opt out of what is expected of me as a woman altogether. It’s everyone’s loss that I am not anyone’s mother/auntie/partner, because I know I’d be great at it.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      You can be an aunt to your friends’ kids. My very good friend is an aunt to mine and she treats him like her nephew..

      Reply

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