1. Turn oven breaker on every morning
We are fiends for turning off things, but we go pretty far.
We don’t just turn off the microwave until we need to use it, or the wifi, or any lights, or blinky things, we even turn the breaker on the oven off because it has a blinky light.
People have asked how our utilities bill is SO DANG LOW, and this is part of the reason why. We don’t let vampire energy disappear into nothing.
2. Watch Top Chef while I eat
I know it sounds crazy, but I love to watch food shows when I eat. I like seeing what other people are cooking, making, even if it is not what I am eating.
It somehow gets my appetite going, and even if I am eating beans and rice, I will see an elaborate meal on TV and salivate/enjoy my meal more.
3. Remove whipped cream and icing from cakes
I hate…HATE whipped cream. I really find it disgusting.. it is just whipped oil in my mind (insert green face emoticon here), and I will scrape whipped cream off all the cakes I eat.
I also dislike icing. Thick icing that is pure sugar makes zero sense to my brain.
As a result, I like a TINY bit of icing and can tolerate a THIN LAYER of whipped cream, but any more, and I am scraping it off with a butter knife, leaving it on the side like discarded trash.
I prefer the actual cake itself, and I am very much into cakes with fruit in them, over chocolate cakes or anything that doesn’t have some semblance of fruit in there.
So you know those Lady M cakes that are basically crepes with layers of whipped cream in between? Disgusting.
They look like this and we thought they looked so cute:
This is one slice we tried in NYC together, and all of that white stuff in between the layers? WHIPPED CREAM.
I had no idea.
I could barely finish this $$$$$ cake, but I choked it down. I think I made my friend eat the rest.
Way too rich. Gross.
4. Prepare all of my food before eating it
I cannot eat chicken wings or ribs chewing it off the bone. I hate the idea of it possibly touching my face or my cheeks as I am chewing.
I am like one of those cute cartoon raccoons, conspicuously cleaning and wiping their faces all day long.
I will also spend time picking the meat off all food, and removing the bone at the end, cutting up the meat, cutting all the vegetables in bite-sized pieces, before washing my hands thoroughly and then digging in with a clean fork and spoon.
I can be starving, SO HUNGRY that I can’t even remember my name, and I will always prepare my food before I clean my hands and eat it. I simply cannot do it any other way…
5. Refusing invites without 24 hours notice
I will not go out with anyone, without having planned it 24 hours in advance.
If you call me at 3 p.m. and ask if I want to hang in an hour, I will say “No”. I do not like unplanned days, I do not enjoy being told unexpectedly that I have to go out somewhere without having planned a lead time to get ready, get to the car, drive, find a spot, etc.
I also do not plan things on a whim on a weekend. I usually know the weekend prior, what I plan on doing, and whom with, if anyone.
The only exceptions are that in a day, I might feel the urge or a whim to take Little Bun out, and I will. Or will decide to go to the grocery store instead of the cafe today.
Very LITTLE changes within my PLANNED blocks of time in my schedule for errands and other such things, are fine.
Actual big changes that uproot my schedule and throw me off, are not.
So don’t call me without notice and say you’re going to come and hang out. I will be quite put out.