In Life

Why are we so angry at people we don’t know?

I’m not just talking about strangers giving lip like: “PATIENCE”*, when I am struggling with bags and trying to get off the bus in a graceful manner.

*Some ghetto girl on the bus who could not have been more than 10 years younger than me, tried to give me attitude in a ghetto area of Toronto by shoving past me and saying: “Patience!“, as if she was the Queen of Sheba.

This is not the first time that the generation below me (born after 1985) has been indescribably rude for no reason.

I can only smile at the knowledge that one day, her big mouth will deservedly get her ass kicked by someone who won’t give a damn.

In general as a society, we’re angry at people we don’t know, for something that makes no sense to be angry about.

WAIT, DON’T YOU GO ON RANTS ABOUT PEOPLE ALMOST EVERY OTHER WEEK?

Yes, I do.

But I get angry at people (for instance) who go into debt for stupid reasons, because I care that they don’t set themselves up for 5-10 years of hurt.

I’ve been there, and done that with $60,000 in debt.

It SUCKS as a life.

Yes, it was for my education and not for pretty shoes, but it still hurt to be putting so much of my paycheque into my debt when I could have been saving it (or spending it, as my brain thought).


It is not fun, and if you think that flashy new car loan will magically disappear without hard work, you’re delusional.

If you think your retirement will magically appear on the day you turn 65, you are also dreaming.

SO WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TO?

I am referring to anti-gay protests and activists happening in France right now.

(Among other protests that have been happening in recent times)

I just don’t get it. What is the big deal?

In France, there’s a big protest going on about a law that may go into effect next year allowing gay marriages (quick warning: explicit nudity).

lesbian-couple-kisses-in-front-of-anti-gay-french-france-protest

Two (very chic, I might add) lesbians kiss in front of anti-gay protestors in France Via

Why can’t we just let people do what they want with their lives as long as they aren’t hurting anybody?

Loving someone else, whether they are of the same sex or not, is human nature.

In ancient times, Greeks openly embraced being gay* (it was even accepted), and it is clearly not a recent phenomenon.

*Although I must note I’ve never heard of being a lesbian in Greek culture, but women weren’t really allowed to have lives, let alone have their lives be recorded down in history for anything other than how great of an obedient wife she was.

You can’t make someone be someone they are not.

No one can “make the gay or lesbian” disappear from someone by prayer or any other kind of “treatment”.

If they could change and be so-called “normal”, don’t you think they’ve already wished for it when they were young when they realized they weren’t the same?

Or maybe they didn’t wish for it and don’t want to change it, but they know it’s something that makes their acceptance into life and society a lot harder, which is even more painful.

People don’t choose their hair, eye or skin colour, their height or their parents any more than they choose to be straight, gay, lesbian or anything in between.

HOMOPHOBIA DOES NOT EXIST

You come into contact with plenty of gay and lesbian people all the time.

You don’t scream and run away when a gay or lesbian person comes into the room, do you?

It’s not like you seize up, can’t breathe and are otherwise upset in the presence of them (even on TV).

You probably don’t even know that they’re gay or lesbian unless they tell you, and if they are kind, generous people, why do you even care?

SOMEONE ELSE BEING GAY DOES NOT THREATEN YOUR FAMILY

Saying things like a family is sacred, and there can only be ONE father and ONE mother in a family with children is just ludicrous.

Have you SEEN how many people divorce these days? 50% is the statistic that gets thrown around!!

Blended and divorced families have one father and one mother, who have children mixed with other fathers and mothers, all living under the same roof.

In a family, should we also say that grandparents are not included because they aren’t the mother and father in that nuclear family?

How about widowers who remarry? You can have stepparents and stepchildren as well.

Or adopted children — their mothers and fathers aren’t biologically related to them!

How about single mothers and fathers? Are they not families either, with their kids?

What should we call them? Perhaps they should protest against them too, following this line of logic.

Or perhaps couples who choose to (or maybe cannot) have kids, are not families either!

A “family” consisting of ONE father and ONE mother, is crazy. Yes, it is how we procreate as a human race, but without even considering gay or lesbian couples, it is not what makes up a family these days.

CONSIDER THE IMPLICATIONS OF GAY/LESBIAN MARRIAGES ON THE ECONOMY

Straight people who are able to get married, may not even want to get married and may stay common-law forever, but if someone else wants to get married and pump an average of $30,000 per wedding into the economy, what’s the big deal?

I am all for more money being spent by those who want to spend it (reasonably and out of debt), if it helps the economy.

YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS GAY

Frankly, you probably have a connection to someone who is gay in your life, and you may not even know it. 6 degrees of separation and all.

My family has one gay family member, and it has never bothered me or the rest of my family to learn that.

Perhaps I have even more gay folks in our circle, but I have no idea, as 90% of my entire extended family (20+ aunts and uncles) have been out of contact with both of my parents for over 40 years now.

I also went to school with openly gay guys and girls, who tried very hard to hide their sexual orientation at first, but we all knew that when they were ready, they would say something (eventually they did).

I never treated them differently or freaked out, in fact, they were some of the most generous, open, and smartest friendliest students I knew. A lot nicer than some.

I was not scared (or even remotely worried) about “catching the gay disease”. That’s just ridiculous.

Being gay is not a disease and it is not something to be ashamed of.


And so what? It doesn’t change the way I feel about them if I knew them, or the way that I feel about myself.

I’m really just sick and tired of bashing people for something they can’t change.

What’s the point? Leave them alone, and let them be happy.

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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18 Comments

  1. Bridget

    Thank you <3

    Reply
  2. SWR

    You’re passing judgment on a woman you don’t know- isn’t calling someone ‘ghetto’ a value-laden statement? Who cares if she gave you lip? What else did that do but annoy you? And I’m sad you’re smiling about the day that she gets her ass kicked. Sounds like a lot of hatred for someone whose life you know nothing about.

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      You’re right, but I’m human.

      She WAS ghetto to me with her Queen of Sheba attitude in all the sense of the word at that time, which is why I wrote that comment in that language.
      I am also a big fan of karma, justice and fairness and if it means that people get what they deserve, so be it.
      So if you want to call it hatred, that’s your decision.

      I’m seeing it as justice for your actions taken against others, and the way you act and treat your fellow human beings.
      If and when she gets her ass kicked (very likely) because of her rude attitude and big mouth, she will have utterly deserved it.
      Who knows? maybe she’ll learn something from it, and it could be a good whooping from a fellow classmate, girlfriend or family member for the way she acts. She may even smarten up and change, but for now, I doubt it.
      All I know is I wasn’t going to start anything over something so trivial but it bothered me enough to voice an honest comment about how I felt at the time.

      Reply
  3. Anne @ Unique Gifter

    I’m a pretty big fan of the expressions in the back of that French photo; they’re all aghast and it’s funny.
    I like your points about the already existing various definitions of the nuclear family 🙂
    Tonight I’m going to gay-park-my-car. If you haven’t seen that rant, it is HILARIOUS, google it!

    Reply
  4. Merit

    Yes, I don’t understand that either. Never have, probably never will! I can’t see how it impacts *THEIR* lives in any way – so why be bothered? What they’re doing, is just spreading hate and sadness and hurt into the world – why not spread the love people?

    Reply
  5. MelD

    Absolutely, I have never understood any kind of prejudice, be it racial or any other, and especially homophobia – sounds totally ridiculous to me. Let ’em be, no skin off my nose – and I have both friends and family who are gay, never bothered at all.

    Reply
  6. Kavita Arur

    Well said! I read this on twitter and it made me giggle: Saying that gay marriage is against your religion is like telling others not to eat cookies because you are on a diet.

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      Oh nice!!! I am going to use that next time.

      Reply
    2. Merit

      Haha, love that one 🙂 well-put!

      Reply
  7. dreemsie

    I think C the Writer (it is funny typing that because middle schoolers writer better than her) will love this topic.

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      She would be all over it if she still reads this blog. 🙂

      Reply
      1. dealwithmoney

        Maybe you should ask dreemsie what he thinks; he hasn’t said anything about that. All he’s said is that I like the topic. I wonder what in the world that has to do with him.

        Reply
        1. Mochi & Macarons

          Interact with other readers and ask him directly instead! It’d be nice to have readers treat the comments section like a forum.

          Reply
          1. dealwithmoney

            I did. He hasn’t said anything. My guess is that he’s indifferent about it, or possibly even opposed. I don’t remember him saying anything positive to me on my blog. Other than him remembering that I’m not straight. I guess I should be flattered to know he’s been thinking about me.

            I don’t want to focus just on same-sex marriage. There are other issues affecting the LGBT community, like bullying and homelessness, are are in many ways more urgent. Marriage equality is important, but working toward a society where LGBT people don’t have to hide in the shadows comes first. With that will come marriage equality and everything else, when I’m not required to explain myself when I say I was in love with a woman just because I’m a woman. When non-heterosexuality isn’t treated like an oddity or something that has to be discussed. “Yeah, my ex girlfriend went to that school.” “Ex GIRLFRIEND? Are you like, gay or something?” As opposed to if a man said the same thing, there would be no “Ex GIRLFRIEND? Are you…STRAIGHT?”

            By the way, I’m sorry for being such an a-hole to you before. I’m having a rough time, obviously.

          2. dreemsie

            I am not indifferent or opposed, I actually am for all kinds of marriage. People deserve to be happy and should be allowed to, not held back. I have friends and family in the LGBT community and them being happy and able to live their lives is a good thing.

            You chose not to see anything positive I said on your blog, regardless of what name I had to post under…since you have banned me.

    2. dealwithmoney

      That’s sad, because everyone should love this topic.

      Never mind me, dreemsie. What about your feelings on the matter? You haven’t shared those with us yet.

      I think I can guess well enough.

      Also, you may say I’m bad at writing, but at least I write. At least I have a blog and put my thoughts out there. And while we’re critiquing writing skills, yours aren’t much to get excited about.

      Reply
  8. Budget & the Beach

    Well you’re preaching to the choir here. Im totally for gay marriage.

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      I think most of my readers are, or are polite enough to not say anything. 🙂

      Reply

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