Week of Money: Not sure I can make it to the end…

DAY ONE

??:?? — I wake up, tired again. It is not just Little Bun, it is the stress of this job…

6:00 a.m. — Time to go to work.

7:59 a.m. — At the office, first meeting of the day. Honestly, I am going from one major project, to another, and still trying to rush and fix things from the first project, handhold project managers (I am not one, but they all treat me like one), and to move on to the next. This is draining. I haven’t had a real vacation in a year, AND I don’t even get a break between this project I am rolling off on, and the next one starting in parallel. Did I also mention I have another project on the side to complete that is urgent but not a major one… #%(#*% FML.

7:59 a.m. — OMG I TOOK THE PHONE WITH ME. My partner needs it today. I rush back into my car, rush home and drop it off.

9:00 a.m. — Back on a conference call in my car, Meeting #2.

10:01 a.m. — Meeting #3 back at the office.

12:08 p.m. — Lunch time. I want to eat karaage fried Japanese chicken but I do not want to go outside to buy it, and I do not want to spend the money because I am trying to exercise the fragment, SLIVER of frugality I have left in my body…

1:11 p.m. — Lunch over, back to my desk.

2:10 p.m. — VP comes down to visit and chat about all the problems she is having with the old project that I am supposed to be finished with. My director keeps telling me “now that you’re free… ” … WHATCHU TALKIN’ BOUT!? I am STILL on the project. Once it is over, it isn’t really ever “over”, until everyone is comfortable with what happened. Anyway, I turn in my seat and she’s there. I answer all her questions, give her things to get done, and then shoo her off, so I can finish my work. Yeah, and they think they’ll be able to do without me. Good luck to you.

5:07 p.m. — I leave. Drained.

5:07 p.m. — I come home, pick up packages, play with Little Bun. I also just want him to leave me alone so I can recharge but man, he sucks it all out of you. Work takes my battery power, Little Bun drains me down to zero….. my partner tries to step in and help a few times to tell him to leave me alone and let me breathe, but Little Bun doesn’t get that I need space and to recharge.

6:15 a.m. — My partner makes my favourite pizza ever — blue cheese … So. Yummy. I scarf it down and feel bloated but happy.

7:59 p.m. — Bedtime.

Spent: $0

DAY TWO

??:?? — Nosebleed.

??:?? — Nosebleed and he DOESN’T want me holding his nose pinched and closed to stop the blood from flowing. OMG. $@$(% .. he is crying, wiggling, sobbing his heart out..

??:?? — NOSEBLEED WON’T STOP. I AM GETTING ANNOYED NOW.

6:00 a.m. — I’m up. I am not tired and fatigued like before because I actually slept through the night until Little Bun flopped himself on top of my body and squealed: MOMMY! HUG AND KISS THEN YOU GET UP!!!!!

6:07 a.m. — I get his milk

6:12 a.m. — I make a green tea in peace, and start thinking about my day. My hair is a mess. Disgusting. I am going to need to dry shampoo it and then put it up in a bun. I am using DryBar’s dry shampoo for Brunettes and I really like it, but am not a fan of the smell… but at least it does make my hair look passably clean to put up in a bun or ponytail. If my hair gets to this stage, super greasy like this, I can’t just put it up in a ponytail, it looks REALLY gross and dirty. I have to dry shampoo it a little, give it some volume and then put it up.

6:25 a.m. — I start getting ready for work. I change my mind 8 times for the outfit. I want something comfy yet edgy, so I go for a v-neck cashmere over some skinny pants (whoa, the pockets are slowly falling off, better get them fixed).. Or maybe just buy another pair but in a size larger. These are pretty tight on me sometimes, and I want to be comfortable.

8:08 a.m. — At work, constant, steady, unable to stop stream of work and meetings.

11:45 a.m. — Lunch. I leave, and take a break. I eat a DELICIOUS meatball appetizer with a pork belly to die for. I am coming back for this next week, for sure. This was seriously GOOD. $24.56

1:10 p.m. — Back at the office, non-stop. I HATE BEING PULLED INTO IMPROMPTU MEETINGS. How can I get stuff done if you keep telling me the rules to get stuff done? Why don’t I work, and you guys figure out how you want to massage everything to create your graphs and crap? Leave me out of this busy work nonsense meant for managers who are wringing their hands, unable to solve anything.

2:17 p.m. — I sell two tops in my closet in very good condition. She transfers me the money .. I trust her! $45

2:30 p.m. — Time for a break. I have some cake from someone’s birthday. She’s 40? I had no idea she was so young, I thought she was OLDER the way she acted… oh well. People probably think I’m older than my age too because I’m a very assertive, take-charge kind of person at work, usually not associated with my age group.

4:28 p.m. — I leave. I am tired.

5:03 p.m. — At home, I talk to my partner. There is a lot of work today, and I have to think about what I want before I start sending out my resume to these contracts.

6:11 p.m. — I do the dishes.

6:22 p.m. —  I take a shower, and lie down to let my hair dry over a big pillow. It sounds weird AF, but I don’t own a hairdryer yet (am waiting for the Dyson Airwrap so I can get the styling tools AND a mini hairdryer too), and the best way to dry my hair to get it straight, shiny, sleek, and slightly volume-filled for tomorrow, is to lie down on my back, my hair spread out over a pillow and let it dry like that. Works like a charm. You can read a book while you do it as long as your child leaves you alone.

6:49 p.m. — Little Bun and I play the towers game (we build towers and he knocks them down), and then the Huggle game (where I hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I love him).

7:37 p.m. — I practice my Crow. I manage 1.5 seconds on my hands, and I topple over, headfirst, laughing. Little Bun who was watching me squeals: THAT WAS AWESOME! .. and high-fives me. <3 Children. They’re your cheerleaders.

8:41 p.m. — Bedtime. Little Bun is just coming up with EXCUSES. First he wants water, now he wants this, he wants that… emergherd… Go the f*ck to sleep indeed.

Earned: $45

Spent: $24.56

DAY THREE

??:?? — What the. WHAT TIME IS THIS?

4:15 a.m. — OH MY GOD WHY IS IT 4 A.M. AND THIS BABY IS AWAKE? … I was so confused, I started getting ready to make tea after I got his milk… and then I check the time and think: Oh no. Not today…

4:32 a.m. — He won’t go back to sleep. No amount of wheedling will do it and I am tired AF, so I grab a pillow and blanket, shove his iPad in his face, and I curl up inside his cardboard house in the living room like a clichéd legit drunk person and curl up to sleep in this cardboard house, my legs sticking out, Little Bun squished up on the other side of me, playing games.

5:35 a.m. — “Mommeee?? I’m tired. I’m sleepy.” … OH NOW you are sleepy? NOW!? NOW!?!?!?….. Grumbling under my breath, I hustle him back to bed.

7:08 a.m. — I get up before he gets up. I can’t sleep any more, and I just want tea and to get this day over with. Wearing a BOSS outfit today, one of my favourites:

8:10 a.m. — I roll into work, super late. I am usually in a good 45 minutes before…. and no one says a word. They better not.

8:30 a.m. — Meeting #1.

9:25 a.m. — Meeting #2.

10:25 a.m. — OMG. I CANNOT STOP GOING TO MEETINGS. VP’s keep inviting me to conference calls and I just want to … omg. Die.

11:58 a.m. — Time for lunch. My brain is dead.

1:03 p.m. — Lunch over, I resist the urge to buy a massive pistachio and raspberry tart as a treat (see example below) and eat a free chocolate biscuit at my desk instead.

2:17 p.m. — Sweet. Got paid for my blog advertising this month (read: Start a blog like a boss), I hope this trend continues. I am just going to bank all of this moola and use it to pay mah condo fees! #HUSTLE2019 +$420.07

3:28 p.m. — So far, my budget is looking gooooooood this month. I’m really pleased with myself and my efforts. I like putting that kind of scarcity mindset into place, and then suddenly, it is like the faucet for spending gets turned off. My new motto for 2019:

4:12 p.m. — I head home.

4:48 p.m. — At home, my partner heads out to get dinner (he baked bread today!) and I play with Little Bun. Surprisingly, I am not tired but by 6 p.m. I will be.

5:29 p.m. — My partner comes home. Odd, it says my turtleneck came in the mail but I don’t see anything. I go downstairs to check.

6:45 p.m. — We eat his homemade blue cheese crusted bread, and I encourage him to make WAY MORE.

7:14 p.m. — Time for bed. I have to wash all the bedsheets tomorrow (covered in dried blood), fix his pants.. lots of stuff.

9:22 p.m. — He finally goes to sleep.

Earned (above my day job): $420.07

Spent: $0 — I resisted hard.

DAY FOUR

??:?? — This feels early.

6:30 a.m. — Okay.. it is not as early as I thought but it is still early. I am getting used to 7-a.m.-ish wakeups… I grab his milk, and start getting ready for work. HUGE DAYS this week, with workshops all day. I am basically dreading this whole week.

7:31 a.m. — At the office, working. Already thrown onto 3 projects.

11:32 a.m. — Got a call, getting frustrated. People are interested in blaming, saying this was wrong bla bla bla, but no one wants to FIX IT. Miscommunication happens, GET THE EFF OVER IT. Stop wasting my time and I’ll fix it. The longer you b*tch on the phone, the longer this will take.

12:08 p.m. — Lunch. I’m drained. I am in an all-day meeting (literally 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.)

3:27 p.m. — By the grace of all things sweet and holy, I manage to escape early. The last session is not directed at me, so I skip out and chat with people to catch up on their lives. (e.g. communal b*tching)

4:25 p.m. — I finally get to leave. I was caught by TWO people on the way out, asking me things. OMFG. Can’t get a break.

5:29 p.m. — Home, organizing all the packages we got — my partner is trying to find the perfect iPad stand. This is going to take forever, I can feel it.

5:33 p.m. — I activate my replacement credit card, I make an appointment for the car (regular check up), and then my partner heads out to buy dinner.

6:27 p.m. — Two more intensive days of this and I will get to work from home. Thank goodness.

7:11 p.m. — Ooh! Extra $150 USD in blog money! … So far it is halfway through the month and I’m at $1068.79 in earnings. <3 I need to pay more attention to this, frankly. In the end, this could be a real side hustle. Not just a few hundred bucks a month, but a few thousand over time. (Read: Start a Blog like a Boss)

9:23 p.m. — Bedtime. I am currently engrossed in the Boxcar Children stories  which harken back to a very idealized time where kids idolized elders, people were kind to each other and helpful, and kids were ‘perfect’ (NOT)… but at least it makes me wistful at how nice everyone is to each other. Not only that, I LOVE that first story so much about how the kids were so resourceful to live on their own and be so independent. I think part of that really influenced me as a kid — thinking: you know, I don’t need anyone. If those kids can live in the woods in a boxcar alone and make it work, I can too. (Not necessarily a boxcar in winter, but I was a kid.. give me a break)…

Earned: $150 USD

Spent: $0

DAY FIVE

??:?? — I wake up to Little Bun crying: PEE PEE!!! And running to the bathroom. He says insistently that I do not change his socks, only his underwear and his pants.

??:?? — He gets there and he is luckily only soaked in his underwear and pants, so I change him, pull off everything including socks which creates a scream… I quickly recuperate the socks, fresh underwear and new pants and back to bed.

??:?? — He sobs for milk. I get it for him. My DEEP REM sleep about pizza has been ruined completely and now I’m dizzy and feeling sick…

7:18 a.m. — I fall back asleep after a bit, and wake up late. Very late by my standards.

8:30 a.m. — I end up at work late, and go get some meatballs for my lunch. $14

9:03 a.m. — I get back to the office and my all day meeting begins. WTF.

11:27 a.m. — 7 issues and I am starting to get tired….. my brain is all messed up.

12:40 p.m. — I eat lunch and then back to work.

3:24 p.m. — The VP at work is angry. He hates being given ultimatums, and it FELT like I was DEMANDING things from them. EFF YOU. You need me, so don’t give me that %)#*%… I tell my intermediary that I am not interested if they don’t give me what I want. I’m out because this is not interesting work then. They panic and tell me they will work it out. Whatever, I’m gone in 2 weeks.

4:45 p.m. — I leave and head home. I was going to leave earlier, since I need to start taking back hours but … hey I can’t. I’ll just work less nearer to the end of the week if I can.

6:28 p.m. — Little Bun is refusing to eat his soup. He is sitting at the counter, my partner is frustrated trying to feed this unwilling child, and I inwardly sigh, but step in with a big smile and manage to get him to eat most of his dinner, save for 2 bites. Can’t win them all.

8:30 p.m. — Time for bed. I have another long day tomorrow and I want to take some people out to dinner or lunch if I can.

Spent: $14

DAY SIX

??:?? — I wake up. It feels later in the morning, and I feel rested. Somewhat. I mean, I have a sleep debt to pay off, so this is not going away overnight…

6:50 a.m. — Yess…..

7:59 a.m. — I get started on a load of laundry, washing all the dried blood out of the bedsheeets, fixing Little Bun’s ripped pants with no-sew hemming tape (this stuff is much better than hand-sewing the rips and it holds MUCH better in terms of Little Bun ruining his pants over and over again)…. the pants just get shorter and shorter, but then we just buy new pants.

9:08 a.m. — I play with Little Bun then say: Little Bun, you know what we forgot?……. he gives me a huge grin and squeals: A BIG HUG!!!!... and he comes into my open arms and gives me a massive hug and kiss.

10:49 a.m. — I start my noodles, I am too hungry and want some comfort food. I have a long list of errands to handle today.

12:08 p.m. — I head out after lunch. LOTS TO DO. Have to get my watch batteries replaced, tighten up the links….

12:28 p.m. — When I’m out I’m getting a ton of stuff done.

1:40 p.m. — I go and buy cutlery and plates (we run out often and I’m unable to wash all the cutlery in a timely manner each night so my partner wants to buy a double set). $1347.98

1:59 p.m. — Yes. Around $1350. We buy plates, mugs on sale and cutlery. I plan on returning about half — sometimes they sell items which are not up to my partner’s quality control so we buy more than one set and return what we don’t approve of.

2:11 p.m. — I put a plastic film on my iPad Pro because I’m going to use a stylus on it that is a fine tip and I don’t want to scratch it. $54.97

2:34 p.m. — My go-to Massimo Dutti satin high rise trousers in navy are starting to go. And they are a size 4 which fits but only if I don’t eat too much. I decide to upgrade to a size 6 in them and buy them new. Full price, retail because I wear them at least 3X a week for work. $97.89

2:45 p.m. — I drop by Anthropologie but am too tired to really browse so I don’t.

3:17 p.m. — I head over to Joe Fresh and almost buy two $10 turtlenecks but remind myself that they are ACRYLIC and I’m a fabric snob who loves cotton, cashmere, wool and silk… only the high end stuff .. polyester barely makes it into my wardrobe unless it is the high quality stuff. STEEL YOUR RESOLVE, GIRL.

3:33 p.m. — I buy a pair of pyjamas for Little Bun that are on deep sale because he keeps ripping all of his pants and I am repairing them but it is just HOLES on HOLES after a week!!! $7.94

3:39 p.m. — I’ve taken to turning the pants around so that the holes are behind his knees and the “fresh” fabric is in front but once those get ruined I have no choice but to toss them or use them for rags. I’ve tried sewing them up, patching them.. nothing. They are ruined in a matter of days.

4:02 p.m. — I pick up juiceboxes and granola snack bars because I’m always out running around and sometimes can’t stop to eat or didn’t eat enough. I need to make it through the 12-hour famine so I stock up. And immediately drink one soy juice box. $17.43

4:17 p.m. — I drop off $200 into the bank. I’ve been carrying it around in cash and haven’t used it. What a waste. I keep about $50-$100 in cash on me but very rarely use it (hate coins and change). #FirstWorldProblems when you complain about having too much cash on hand, amirite…

4:20 p.m. — I find having snacks on hand lessens my desire to go to Starbucks or stop for a treat. This is WAY cheaper than dropping all the time for a snack or drink.

4:50 p.m. — I finally head home, drop a return into a mailbox and then drive back.

6:22 p.m. — We eat a delicious salad with smoked salmon on top of avocado with homemade bread.

7:34 p.m. — Stuffed and very happy.

9:02 p.m. — Time for bed.

Spent: $1526.21

DAY SEVEN

??:?? — Little Bun KICKS ME IN THE EYE. IN THE EYE. #%(*#%(#%#%

??:?? — Owwwwww.

6:00 a.m. — I wake up and make a cup of tea. My partner looks at me and asks how I feel. I just look at him, and say “I am really.. really.. tired.”

7:59 a.m. — I try and organize my thoughts and schedule for the week. Lots to do. Have to go into work almost all week and I’m trying to remember what I need to get done.

9:45 a.m. — I call a friend and chat for an hour.

10:34 a.m. — I try on the PJs I bought for Little Bun and it is a perfect fit. I plan on going back to buy more, at least one more set. This is better than having to try and fix his pants every other day… O_o

10:46 a.m. — I play Trucks with Little Bun (I get the fire truck and he has the school bus) and we run around the apartment with them.

10:59 a.m. — Being a parent should automatically come with knee pads.. I’m crawling on the floor and I am too old for this $&@$…

11:59 a.m. — Little Bun plays and plays but then his father says: Come!! And he runs. He is completely distracted by food and pizza in particular and drops everything to go eat.

12:45 p.m. — I then turn into a Mommy Horse after lunch and Little Bun rides on my back as I am imperiously instructed to “neigh”, “whinny” and bounce with clip clop sound effects, which effectively brings him to the bedroom to go down for his N-A-P. (He can spell so this is not a surprise.)

1:21 p.m. — He is down for his nap and I am working on things. I have about $125K in cash sitting just in my high interest savings account to get that sweet 3.1% promotional rate from Simplii but also to make me want to keep building it and NOT SPEND A PENNY.

1:34 p.m. — I’ve been so good at NOT SPENDING uselessly lately. Tempted, yes for sure.. bags, shoes, rings, clothes .. but I have been really good holding off.

2:13 p.m. — I start a load of laundry. Little Bun wakes up and I cuddle him, then bring him milk.

3:50 p.m. — I start on all the dishes, pots and pans, wash, and dry all of them. Then throw all the kitchen towels into laundry and start a load after I put the other load in the dryer.

4:43 p.m. — Little Bun insists that his stuffed toy is dirty with dried blood. I don’t listen, but then I go to the bathroom and see his toy floating face down, slightly bloody in a sink full of water, like it is re-enacting some Toy Crime Scene….!! LOL… I pick the toy out out the sink, soaking wet, and in 2 minutes will come back after I get something done.

4:56 p.m. — I wash his toy scrubbing out all the dried blood (he has constant nosebleeds)….

5:08 p.m. — The toy goes on top to dry and out of the way.

6:48 p.m. — Dinner of bread and cheese.

7:21 p.m. — We play Trucks, read books… colour together. I am really tired so I start getting ready for bed early.

8:49 p.m. — Time for bed. I conk out almost immediately. I am REALLY exhausted.

Spent: $0

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Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.