Week of Money: Fatigue, lack of sleep and lots of fruit juice gummies for meals
??:?? — Bathroom run. Then milk.
6:49 a.m. — He “slept” in, after that one wakeup around 5 a.m.-ish I gather, and my partner also woke me up a bit with trying to get ready for work — glass Tupperware clangs a lot, let’s put it that way… I feel much MUCH better. All it took was two 2-hour naps (Saturday and Sunday), dozing off about half an hour twice on the Sunday, and “sleeping in” past 6 a.m. to almost 7, with only one wakeup at 5-ish for milk. It is amazing how your body accepts such sleep deprivation without much of a complaint.
7:01 a.m. — I log in and work on a few emails. I have to review some papers and notes from a meeting from Friday but my brain was mush so I brought it home to do it with fresh eyes.
7:39 a.m. — Little Bun is learning / reading new nursery rhyme books beside me as I am working. I make a tea.
8:45 a.m. — I hop on a call. I examine my skin in the mirror while I wait for people to join. I broke out in no less than 4 major, painful spots on my cheeks and around my lips. Raised, red, painful bumps. Great.
9:02 a.m. — I log off for another call.
9:31 a.m. — And another. I don’t know why this is so difficult. It is painful the way we beat around the bush here. No wonder the one who speaks up the loudest with the most authority is the one in charge. Usually it is me but then I end up having to take on the work as well, so I have been taking a backseat lately.
10:26 a.m. — I quickly bundle up Little Bun and take him to the grocery store. I want to buy some extra meat or something to add to my lunches. I feel like my iron is low and I have not been eating enough meat lately, so I want to pick up meatballs or something to mix into my meals. I pick up 4 turkey meatballs. $7.68
12:08 p.m. — Lunch over — I fed Little Bun first, then ate, and am now eating fruit juice gummies. Addicted. I work while watching Top Chef, and find Beverly from Season 9 very annoying somehow. Too whiny or something. Just.. rubs me the wrong way. I eat the lemon and orange gummies first (my least favourites), and save the pineapple and green apple ones for last.. (faves!)
12:10 p.m. — I slowly ease Little Bun down for a nap after the last video.
1:35 p.m. — Little Bun is up from his nap. I cuddle him, and tell him I have another call at 2 so he has to be quiet.
2:00 p.m. — Time for a call. I am working while on the call.
3:28 p.m. — I log off. Eff this workday.
4:11 p.m. — “MOMMY.. I want to belch ALL DAY.” <– #ThingsKidsSay
4:33 p.m. — OH CRAP. I FORGOT I MOVED MONEY TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT.. and then I moved that money into another account to have more savings, and got dinged with an NSF fee. #%&#% FML. $45
5:10 p.m. — My partner comes home and prepares a meal of confit duck with a huge salad (which I finally had a brainwave to CUT UP so the oil doesn’t smear all over my face when trying to eat these massive leaves, causing huge pimples to form)…
6:25 p.m. — I do the dishes and unload my work stress onto my partner who in turns sympathizes and shares his own stories. This is what I like — we can bitch to each other and he offers suggestions, I think about it, I suggest things back to him for his area….
7:15 p.m. — I go back to bed and re-read a book I already finished: The Hating Game .. and it is a pretty good chick lit escape although the female character annoys me (as usual) in some scenes being so wishy-washy and clueless.
7:28 p.m. — We get ready for bed.
??:?? — My throat is definitely sore. I am definitely coming down with a cold and am sick. I make a note to gargle (REALLY GARGLE) warm salt water to kill the virus if possible to see if it stops being a cold.
6:40 a.m. — OMG I THOUGHT IT WAS EARLY. It felt early, and I was so tired (from impending cold) but it is quite late and I have to hustle to work before the traffic snarl makes it impossible and upsets me.
7:21 a.m. — In. Parking. Upstairs. Working.
11:58 a.m. — Break for a hurried lunch. I literally have not had time to even go to the bathroom. So I go to the bathroom while my lunch is warming up and I scarf it down, watch Top Chef while doing it, alone in the cafeteria then head back to work. No time to rest.
12:33 p.m. — I am HUSTLING to get this done when I shouldn’t really rush. I should make them suffer and pay for it.
1:10 p.m. — Manager cancels a meeting I had with her. Good riddance. She is insistent on giving me more work to do when I am insistently pushing back and saying: I CANNOT. Maybe now she’ll effing believe me when I say “No”, I mean it. I know what I can and cannot handle and I am NOT WORKING OVERTIME FOR this lack of organization and efficiency issue. YOU DEAL WITH IT. Why should I have to pay with extra hours that I cannot bill?
4:03 p.m. — Out the door. My nemesis eyes me in my very nice car as I am leaving. Who gives an eff. I don’t even care anymore. EVERYONE has seen the car now. I just don’t brag or talk about it. *shrug* So if I don’t mention it, don’t bring it up. Unspoken office rule. We can pretend the fancy 6-figure car doesn’t exist.
4:33 p.m. — At home. Take a nice hot shower, and slather myself in my favourite body cream. It is SO expensive at $25 a bottle lasting maybe 3 months, but man it smells great and makes me feel so good… I layer it over dropperfuls of this cheap Radha rosehip oil which is finally back in stock.
5:53 p.m. — My kegs and feet are getting cold. I finally wear pants. I usually don’t after a shower so that the cream sinks in and soaks into my skin, but now I am too cold for this.
6:05 p.m. — I actually half-pressured an author of a book I am reading to write it from a male Point of View, and to get the other side of the story. I have ZERO shame.
6:07 p.m. — I really wanted to read the other side of the story to be honest with you. I hope someone has enough brainpower and energy to write a fanfic of it …. 😉 Any aspiring, chicklit loving writers out there? The book is The Hating Game.
6:17 p.m. — Should I make noodles to eat? I am not hungry, but I am peckish. Don’t want to eat but I also feel like I should. Decisions, decisions.
6:21 p.m. — I gargle warm salt water instead and am grossed out. Hate doing this but I feel sick… if this can help me stop a cold I will take it. It is that or eating raw garlic which I cannot do tonight because FOR SURE tomorrow I will stink of it at the office. I can only do it on a Friday night or something before the weekend where people who smell me will love me anyway, stinky rose breath or not.
??:?? — What the…
??:?? — This is early right? Little Bun is REFUSING to go back to sleep. He is actually mocking me now, fake snoring going: “HONK SHOOO Mommy. Honk Shooooooo”
5:02 a.m. — Knew it. Bleary-REM-deprived sleep brain never lies.
6:17 a.m. — I start getting ready for work, and Little Bun who is ALSO sleep-deprived has a serious meltdown. He starts hitting the walls, screaming, crying, losing his #(%#%(… I am trying to stay cool and calm, but then I just lose MY #%*#%.. I am also sleep-deprived and now I am just angry. I’m so tired, I’m sick… I turn into a Mommy Monster.
6:37 a.m. — “Calm” now, he sniffles into my chest, and I try to calm down my raging red feelings, retracting my horns and breathing hard.
7:59 a.m. — Nonstop meetings.
11:45 a.m. — Exhausted. I break for lunch and head upstairs.
12:23 p.m. — My manager is there. I sit and eat with them, but then just quietly eff off later pretending I need to work. I don’t really enjoy her company, something about her rubs me the wrong way…
4:10 p.m. — I pack up to leave, and as I get to my car I reach for my phone to play music.. but.. WHERE IS MY PHONE. Cue instant, mad panic. WHERE IS MY PHONE. I must have left it with someone somewhere, and I rush from floor to floor, cubicle to cubicle, retracing my steps to figure out where the hell I left it. I finally find it hidden in a friend’s cubicle, where I first started and then had 6 meetings back to back and forgot to take it with me to them. WTF.
4:19 p.m. — Finally going home. I lean my head back in the car and blast A/C because it is raining outside and the humidity feels stifling. I’m dead.
4:35 p.m. — My partner goes to pick up some fresh bread for dinner.
4:50 p.m. — Little Bun squeals with delight when he shows up with a baguette under his arm, just like a Frenchman. We sit and eat candied salmon on avocado and chat about our days.
5:40 p.m. — I log in VERY QUICKLY and check emails, send off notes on the meetings I had bubbling in my head, and then try to sleep… but my brain keeps working even while I sleep. I know what will happen.
6:43 p.m. — Emergherd! The Hating Game spawned off some fanfic! I eagerly download the ePub versions.
8:20 p.m. — Bedtime.
??:?? — Little Bun is snuffling beside me. Totally adorbs. I listen to him snort and whuffle…. and let him sleep in as I slowly wake up and my brain fills with everything to do.
6:07 a.m. — I log in and blast off 15 emails. Yes. 15. My brain made a list last night and I slowly go through all the points and address each one.
7:21 a.m. — I take a break. I make some tea, and ponder going out for breakfast to have a nice chai latte and a croissant…
8:30 a.m. — First meeting of… a billion. I dial in. I sort of dropped a bomb yesterday on all of them, telling them their approach was completely wrong, and now they’re all in a panic. I feel like no one is driving the bus here, y’know? … You have 3 project managers, 4 leads, and no one can get the f#%#ing basics done? I need more money. I’m glad I’m working remotely today. This is a perk I’m taking advantage of. Say something and I’ll send in my resignation.
10:08 a.m. — Lunchtime. Little Bun like me, gets hungry early. He wants me to go to the grocery store and buy sushi for him. I eye him, he’s still a bit sick, I don’t know if it’s very healthy for him….
12:28 p.m. — These calls are never going to end. I take a break (seriously on the phone since 8:45 a.m.)… and quickly eat my lunch of quinoa and meatballs
12:56 p.m. — Another call.
2:56 p.m. — I dial off. Exhausted. I am really tired. I just.. log off. I need a break. They are sucking me dry.
3:12 p.m. — I take Little Bun out for sushi (I had to whisper-threaten him and told him if he behaved for my last call we would have sushi). I use a $10 credit to pay for the sushi, so it costs $0.34 but then I pick up Halloween candy on sale for $4 for the office. $5.34
3:39 p.m. — Ouch. Papercut. I put my papers away for the office and sliced my fingers.
4:11 p.m. — I get home, I brush my teeth, wash my face (finally, didn’t even get a chance to do THIS all day)… and my whole face was flaking off the side from my acne medication. My skin is super dry when it peels like that.
4:16 p.m. — My dermatologist calls and reschedules for Tuesday instead of tomorrow.
5:17 p.m. — You know, all the times I have to keep telling Little Bun at this age to GET HIS HANDS OUT OF HIS PANTS… OMG…
7:30 p.m. — We try getting to bed but Little Bun says sadly: “I don’t want my Mommy to sleep. I want her awake ALL DAYYYY….” <— future Director / manager
8:21 p.m. — Bedtime.
5:00 a.m. — WHY?
5:10 a.m. — I make a tea.
5:30 a.m. — We are talking about silent letters now like “Knight” and “Whole”, and he names the vowels, then the consonants, and is struggling between “To”, “Too” and knows “Two” well but it sounds the same too….
6:23 a.m. — I get ready to leave. A little bit of a meltdown. Love my outfit though.
6:57 a.m. — Foot out the door, kiss goodbye, meltdown again. He opens the door and I step back in, door open, waiting for my partner to take him. He’s squealing softly… and I leave, but no hard scream or tears
7:26 a.m. — Back at the office. I beeline to my friend and we chat.
8:07 a.m. — OMG. My alarm for my pill is ringing on my desk and annoying the F out of everyone. Red-faced, super embarrassed and vowing to always glue my phone to my body, someone summons me down for my super annoying alarm.
8:14 a.m. — Meeting #1 of 500.
11:49 a.m. — Lunch break. I take the time to sit and chat a bit with colleagues and am rewarded with homemade cookies. YESSSSSSS!!!
1:10 p.m. — Back to work, last meeting of the day I hope…
3:00 p.m. — We both leave the meeting mentally drained. People have no idea what they are doing when they give us this stuff at the last minute because you need TIME to properly think about all the possible loopholes.
4:28 p.m. — I leave the office, but not before stuffing the mini Caramilk, Mr. Big and KitKats into my purse for the weekend. Yeah. That’s right. I’m raiding the Halloween jar.
5:00 p.m. — My partner goes out for a baguette, he made chicken wings. Now the baguette is also a math model. The big heel pieces that are cut up in pieces represent the tens, and the little pieces I make for him with toppings are ones. He tells me each time I prepare his platter for him that ” Mommy.. these are the tens. I have 5 tens, which is 50! And the ones are … here! I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven ones.. So the number is 57!!”…
7:04 p.m. — Little Bun discovers that I put PDF books on his iPad, and he LOVES THEM. I have to get more for him now, and read “new stories”. This kid.. voracious reader, just like his mother before she had him <3 …..
8:10 p.m. — He announces he is sleepy. He puts himself to bed but then when we crawl in together, he starts sitting up and telling me things he saw or learned today, but in disjointed fragments I have to try and piece together from what I know he has been doing.
8:14 p.m. — I’m losing my voice. I sound like a heavy smoker, my voice has dropped down two octaves..
5:00 a.m. — I’m up. I guess I slept enough? Frankly I think my partner waking up also woke me up and I was so close to waking up anyway that it just kept me awake. I feel cheated out of my sleep.
5:30 a.m. — I buy this Bodum Chambord French Coffee press for my partner. I don’t drink coffee but he does and apparently wants it. I guess I could buy decaffeinated to try one day. $50.57
5:44 a.m. — Little Bun wails in the bedroom, crying for me softly: “Waaaahhh.. Mommy.. Mommy……” I go and there are no tears but he is used to me sleeping beside him so he can crawl on me and kiss me to wake me up.
6:30 a.m. — I start on dishes.
7:29 a.m. — Dishes done and dried, I kind of putter around online, reading blogs but not really getting into them. I have a few things I have to do today but I feel like I need to sit down and make a list of what I have to do this year. I can’t spend any more money, I have been on a spree lately, and I need to refocus my money on saving so I can take advantage of this stock market bidness.
9:21 a.m. — Okay. Found something to do. Am watching This is Us Season 3 (my favourite drama out there, hands down), and this show always makes me cry. It always always ends with me sobbing.
9:33 a.m. — I just realized that Nathan Fillion (love love LOVE him) is in a new series called The Rookie. Yep. On my watch list now.
9:45 a.m. — Oooo these Taryn Rose (have heard great things about this brand for people who need foot support), Faye flats look DIVINE. Especially in this magenta suede. And of course it’s all sold out in my size so… THANK GOODNESS for my budget.
9:47 a.m. — I think what I have to understand is that whatever I want to buy or replace, I may not want it after all if I sit on the purchase OR I may find something better once I TRULY replace the thing I am thinking of. These flats for instance, would replace my Banana Republic pink suede ones that are really getting worn (I wear them so often)… but I still wear the BR ones, and I actually got a second pair off eBay (like new) for $30-ish bucks…. so it’s best to keep my cash in my pocket.
12:45 p.m. — After lunch, I head out to the sobs of Little Bun being carried away by Daddy to the bedroom for a nap. 🙁
1:26 p.m. — I return a whole bunch of stuff – a dress, the pants and dress that I DID NOT need and bought on a whim last week, and the refunds are sweet. -$313.29
1:51 p.m. — I head over to Anthropologie to try and get rid of this $105 credit hanging around.. and I end up finding a pretty perfect chambray shirt. It feels like thick super soft silk on my skin (it is Lyocell) and I buy it. I have 60 days to return it so I leave the tags on to check to see if it goes on sale, then I can pick it up on sale, and get some money back. I used my credit, so I just pay the difference. $18.96
3:29 p.m. — I head out for a little break in the car, and I finish an episode of This is Us.
4:47 p.m. — I head home. My partner heads out to grab bread for our dinner. I put on another episode of This is Us. #ADDICTED
5:10 p.m. — We have a light dinner — we don’t eat much or heavily during the week, just enough. Then when it is a BIG event like a birthday or something, we go all out.
6:36 p.m. — After dinner, I do all the dishes so the kitchen is clean for my partner. I load some eBooks onto the iPad to read with Little Bun, he is entranced by the novelty of a book on a screen. Hey, whatever reading I can get from him and get him to love, will be a win for me.
7:21 p.m. — I feel my cold turning into something worse. Bronchitis I suspect.
8:15 p.m. — BED. TIME.
??:?? — Tired.
6:00 a.m. — So he “slept” in… I log in and check my emails quickly and respond to a few.
6:12 a.m. — I make tea. My partner makes coffee and croissants for the morning. I love the smell of coffee but don’t like to or want to drink it.
7:59 a.m. — My partner starts cooking and I entertain Little Bun. I go through my closet, and start harshly reviewing all the items that SHOULD no longer be there — anything stained, anything pilling, anything that doesn’t fit any more because it is too small.
10:28 a.m. — PHEW. I got through all the tops only, and got about 15 pieces out. I made harsh choices looking at them — silk tops that have been cleaned too often and are far too old (sniff sniff.. bye bye blue interview top)…
12:08 p.m. — Time for a nap. I am sure I will regret this nap. I won’t be able to sleep well tonight, probably.
1:33 p.m. — We wake up from the nap, and I am reading books with Little Bun.
4:28 p.m. — I’m lying in bed about to fall asleep again when my partner chirps that it is time to cut Little Bun’s hair.
4:59 p.m. — We cut Little Bun’s hair (we shear him with a razor but not bald — we leave a little on top). He is giggling and wiggling from the buzz of the razor like crazy and the haircut goes all wonky. It’ll grow out in a month or so but I make my partner salvage the hair by going over some other spots with long hairs sticking out. Free!! The entire family cuts their own hair (I do my own here!)…
5:11 p.m. — I get him into the bath and I shower. I’m extra slow today because I’m tired.
5:18 p.m. — I get out and suddenly feel criticized when my partner says Little Bun shouldn’t sit in the water so long. I mutter back an attack and he gets upset because he just wanted to tell me that water is drying for his skin and I shot back that he has never given Little Bun a bath so he better be quiet. Ugh.
5:23 p.m. — He is upset now and goes to cut his hair and then sprays down the shower with cleaner to scrub it.
5:29 p.m. — Little Bun asks for science games and I log him in to let him do it. He likes the Frequency Table games right now — charting numbers into graphs.
6:34 p.m. — I eat more fruit gummies. F$&@ dinner.
6:50 p.m. — I’ve been reading a lot of chick-lit lately as a way to let my brain escape (predictable storyline) and take a rest, but I recently started and finished: Sixty Million Frenchmen can’t be wrong – Why we love France but not the French— and found it to be very factual and right on the money in terms of helping explain why the French are the way they are. Long story short — they are aborigines and true natives in the sense that no one conquered the land and took over like in North America with a fresh start and the French have been there more or less from the start of civilization weaving in other cultures… hence why they are Western but not North American and we SHOULD be treating them like a different culture completely, not assuming they should assimilate into ours. They also like to complain a lot. This seems to be genetic.
7:12 p.m. — There is something about cold weather that makes you want to wear and buy sweaters and coats….
8:09 p.m. — Bedtime. Little Bun starts telling me about what he learned today, the planets, and how things do this and that with the characters he made up / learned in a game..
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.