Update: I am still not planning on leaving any money to Little Bun. So STFU.
This post generates so much hate, I can’t even begin to tell you – Why I plan on not leaving an inheritance to my children.
When I say “I do not plan on leaving any money or an inheritance” to Little Bun, I mean I am going to live my life the way I want, not sacrificing my quality of life or my retirement, to pay for his lifestyle.
Let’s get a few things straight:
1. The best gift I can ever give him, is for him to not worry about me.
He will not have to pay for my retirement, my future nursing/medical needs, nor my funeral. At the very end, he will likely have an inheritance of some sort (at least the apartment!), but he will not be burdened with debts or medical care that so many of us are going through right now as our family members age.
2. All of the money I get from the government for him, is his money.
Child bonuses at $100 under the age of 6 years, whatever credits back from the government for daycare subsidies — all of that is going into his account under his name. He gets all of that money. We aren’t using it for his care, which we are supposed to, which is why the government gives it to families.
We are paying for his entire life out of our own money, and we see the government money as his. Without him, we would not get any of it.
3. The money we get, is being invested FOR HIM
I am currently saving and investing it for him, so that he can use it for his university fund (it is going to get expensive by the time he is ready to go, this I know), for living expenses if he chooses a university out of the city, and for anything else he may need.
We are however, planning on using some of that money to offset/pay for a more private secondary school as he gets older at around $5000 extra a year once he is older.
We won’t pay for private school now at $25,000 a year when he is 5, but we will when he needs it.
Or tutoring, whatever he needs.
4. He shouldn’t be expecting money from anyone anyway
This is how I live my life.
I don’t expect money from anyone – my partner, the government, my parents, Little Bun… not now, not ever.
I didn’t receive any money from my parents when I went to school even though they said and promised me money for it.
If I give money to Little Bun, it will NOT be promised to him and it will be a surprise or a gift if I ever do pay for anything for him. I don’t want to promise anything to him and then not follow up on it because of something that happened I could not foresee (e.g. medical bills, a big payment of some sort).
I never want to ever promise him something and take it away, the way my parents did to me.
I also don’t want him to learn how to rely on anyone else for money and that HE is his own money maker, and to struggle/learn how to manage his money and grow in that sense.
I want him to be truly self-sufficient and promising him an inheritance is a surefire way to raise a lazy bum. I know a few people who are basically waiting for their parents to die (truth) because they have been promised a castle (yes really), or a lot of money, etc.
These folks don’t work. They sit around, barely making it, paycheque-to-paycheque, waiting for their inheritance to finally ‘live’. What kind of f#$@d up life is that?
I don’t ever want him to think that, and to ever live like that knowing he is waiting for me to die for my money.
I’d be happy to give him money while I am alive, to slowly drain my accounts but only as surprises and as a gift with no expectation of a return of any kind, and to not have him wait his whole life for an inheritance just in case that day never comes and I end up leaving nothing, or very little.
Now let’s respond to some of these idiotic comments:
Fuck you
Oh this starts well.
20 Comments
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Ariana Auburn
The hateful co mments are from people who are going through their own inheritance hell or have a chip on their shoulder s with their parents. You are right about not wanting to leave money for him. Should you hit the bucket, no amount of money will bring you back. If anything, the best gift you can give to him is to take c are of yourself so that you can be there for him in life.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
That’s what I think. And he will get something for sure, just not millions and from me scraping and eating beans and rice to give him the life I never had. I am going to live that life, live it now, be happy and support him the best I can but without jeopardizing my future because it does affect him as well. I will not rely on my boy, the same way he should not rely on me. This is all hypothetical of course, as I WILL HAVE MORE MONEY to give him and be generous, but the core stays the same.
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Sarah
Ha, the one commenter seemed like he thought you were considerably older… and didn’t actually read the post! But realistically, it’s your d*mn money and I don’t understand why anyone would get this upset.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
So much hate. Also leads me to believe they aren’t regular readers and just people who found me via Google and decided to let garbage out on the blog.
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Josefa
Totally agree with you.
https://www.moneysense.ca/columns/ask-a-planner/how-to-plan-for-expected-inheritance/
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Sense
Dang!! Bitter and jealous people are MEAN AF.
Absolutely none of it is their business, nor does it affect them, so…I’m glad you can brush it off, because they are being ridiculous.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
My money, not theirs… and I am going to MAKE SURE Little Bun is set up with financial smarts that I never learned.
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Abigail @ipickippennies
Those comments though…
Is it really so crazy to want to spend your money on yourself? Even if we weren’t talking about securing your retirement, which it sounds like we mainly are. It’s your money not his. You’re giving him the tools to take care of his college education and of himself in his financial life. Either one of those is more than a lot of parents can give, so I’d say he’s pretty lucky.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
Thanks Abigail (How are you!?) … I appreciate the support. I also do, as you say, see it as my money. I saved it, I get to spend it on whatever I want – a new car for myself, my house paid, etc. I get to enjoy MY money, and it is this self-sacrificing notion parents have that bothers me. I mean I applaud it in the sense that I am in awe of how much they give of themselves, but I am not willing to do that. I will give a lot and I do, but I will not give my whole self to my child.
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Whitney
My dad had a similar discussion with us, his children, last year. He expressed concern that we wouldn’t like it if we found out he was about spending “our inheritance” to travel the US to hang out with us in a sort of “US tour” vacation. All of us, without hesitation, told him that was ridiculous, and he should spend his money how he sees fit, and that none of us were expecting anything. And I would much rather spend time with him while he is alive instead of receiving an extra 1k in 20+ years when he dies,
I’m 1 of 5, and there was no way my dad had enough money to send us all to college, so we all took out loans, to some degree. Do I have student loans now? Yeah, but I’m working my ass off to pay ’em off, and it’s working really well. Very excited for my frugality to pay off in the next few years.
My dad took the trip and traveled from the east coast to the west coast to visit each of us, and it was so fun to have him for a week to hang out and visit. The very best use of money. Screw inheritance expectations.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
YES! This is the attitude I want Little Bun to have. Your father sounds like a great person, and you’re proof.
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Steveark
I have known a half dozen billionaire kids, four of them quite well because I worked for them for many years. They were very hard workers, good family guys, fun, well educated and none of them fit that typical trust fund baby paradigm. One thing most people don’t realize about inheritances, and I got one of a million US dollars, is that normally you are at conventional retirement age when you get it. It is far too late in life for money to mess you up. You are either already totally messed up or plenty strong enough to handle it.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
You know, that is an excellent point. I really want to NOT have my son fit that trust fund baby paradigm at all. Once he is older, whatever he gets when I pass, will be whatever he gets – I am sure it will be over $1M by the time he goes to sell this apartment (and he is our only child), and he will be old enough to be already financially well-established and secure to not go out and splash away all of this money.
I want to raise him like those billionaire kids and like yourself. A sense of entitlement is really a terrible thing, and I see it often in people in my neighbourhood, which makes me even more determined to make sure he never turns out like that.
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Lynn Kent
Wow, after reading the comments people send you I am doubly grateful for your blog. I don’t always agree with all you say, but if I ever felt strongly enough to comment I would do it respectfully. Thank you again from a fan in RI.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
Thank you – I am completely fine with everyone NOT AGREEING with me. We all have different views. I can respect that, but all I ask is a respectful disagreement. Also, I have had people disagree with me, and convince me otherwise, which I am very grateful for.
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mary
I agree with the fact that struggle provides meaning to life. Also, it is good for mental health.
I believe that you are already doing a lot for your child financially, saving and investing the money from the government. By the time he is grown up, he will have a nice sum.
Also, you are educating him nicely and I think he will have a career which will allow him to be self-sufficient.
I’ve seen relatives waiting for other relatives to die, to inherit the money, and it’s not nice!
The begging for money thing makes a person disgraceful!And what people don’t know is that no one knows how long they are going to live (we can only make assumptions). If you sacrifice yourself for leaving a certain inheritance, you might need other’s people’s money.
Who is going to give you money when you need it?!
The children are going to see you as a burden because everyone has their own struggles and goals in life. So it is a good idea to try not to be a burden on anyone.Money gets spent very quickly the moment you are not working anymore! This is the scary part for every retiree and this is what people waiting for inheritances don’t understand.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
I don’t want him to rely on me. Bottom line, I want him to live for himself, and be independent by himself. I am sort of struggling with how to teach him about budgeting, if I show him real numbers of what I earn or not, and what I spend. I may go with that route so that he understands that he has to save more and earlier than I did.
Thank you – I try my best. Not perfect, no one is.. but I am working on it.
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You sound like an absolutely despicable worthless cunt. You have no obligation to give money to anyone, but the fact that you reap some sense of sick satisfaction and moral superiority out of it is truly disturbing. I hope your children piss on your grave. I sure as hell would.
Um. Did you not read the post? You just read the title and basically cursed me out.
I am under no obligation to give any money to him for sure, but I will likely leave him something at the end (see post at the beginning).
Also, giving money to your children it not something even the rich encourage.
The best way to help and educate your child, is to NOT help them the way you think.
It is to let them struggle, to work for their money, to feel like they have a sense of purpose in life. I think Ben Lee says it best:
Sam Clemens
You are a selfish person from a selfish generation that experienced no wars, no real poverty, no massive recessions, and no real environmental threats. Further, your generation generally worked themselves to the bone, forgetting about family anyway. So I can see why you would hold such a distorted view of how things are. The generation you raised was born into a recession, which is why they’re killing industries that feed off of excess and greed, like the diamond industry, for example.
Education today is WAY more expensive than it was when you were growing up. You can no longer work a summer job to pay for a university education. Basically, you are actively pushing your children away from a University education, and pretty much sealing their fates.
Your generation is the only generation since recorded history to have screwed your parents out of health care, increased the cost of education as soon as you left school, so your kids had to pay through the nose for the same education you got for less than 1/10th the cost. Basically slamming the door on your parents, and selling your children down the river on education costs.
It’s okay though. The baby boomers are starting to die off, and I hope they go quickly in the next 30 years, but you jerks seem intent on extending your old age, and stressing the rest of us with your own health care costs, letting the burden for taking care of your sorry butts fall on the rest of us, and even those of us that are just getting started in life. I wish we could just light a big dumpster fire and throw your whole generation in there. At least it’d save us on energy costs for a while.
Bla bla bla.
Again, his money from the government is being invested for him to use for his education.
I also am giving him the gift of NOT being a burden financially when I get older. I will be perfectly fine until the end, and his inheritance will be what it is.
Minimal, I hope, as I hope to live a long long life to spend as much time as possible as I can with him, and to use up that money I saved, so that he never has to pay for me or my healthcare.
We cover his costs on our own, and save his money for him to use for his education and life.
What’s the problem?
Also, not your money. LOL.
Ryan Colantino
You know that leaving a legacy(including inheritance to the next generation) is actually what responsible citizens do?
Did you not read the post?
You’re claiming to be such a responsible person with your money, but leaving no such legacy isnt the responsible thing to do.
Why should my son ever expect me to leave him any money? I don’t expect it from my parents.
Just and FYI for your ignorant self. BTW, how does it feel to have stolen 27000k from tax payers to give to your clearly unneeding child? The government funds we to be used for basic necessities, not savings and investments.
First — We are taking the money the government gives to us willingly. We haven’t stolen it.
Do people who go on unemployment insurance steal that money when they use it?
Do people who retire on government pensions steal that money?
Do people who retire with nothing in the bank, and STILL get a basic living amount from the government steal that money?
No.
I didn’t go into the government coffers and steal anything. I didn’t ask for the money, it is given to us, as the parents on behalf of my son, as it is given to all parents.
You can go and tell my son he’s a thief.
Second — I am investing and saving the money.. FOR HIM. DID YOU NOT READ THE POST?
It is HIS money. He will have more than enough to cover his university expenses (I hope) with the money we have invested, and we plan on using a small amount of it to cover his private secondary school tuition.
Whatever is left over, is for him to take and start his new career, hopefully debt-free, and be enough to give him a bigger boost than I had as a child.
My parents took all the money from the government for us, and gambled it. Is that better for you, that they used it on themselves?
I am being the total opposite of my parents, and responsibly investing his money for him, for his future, and then letting him take control of the investments so that he gets an education I wish I had at his age.
Third – I designed my life to NOT need that money
There are many people I know who make what I make, and NEED that money for ‘necessities’.
They don’t manage their money correctly, they waste it, or save it but don’t invest it, and I don’t do any of that.
I live within my means, I save, I invest and I made sure I did not ever need that money because I don’t rely on anyone but myself for it.
I also work hard to make a high income, and made sure I did as much as I could to get as much money as I can early on. ALL OF THAT IS ME.
I don’t expect money from my parents, my partner, the government, or my son (now or in the future) because that’s who I am.
I can guarantee you not many people think like this, act like this or believe in what I am saying.
So before you come at me, you better get your facts straight and understand what it means when you tell me “how does it feel to steal that money when you don’t need it?”
Stop focusing on me – focus on yourself and why you’re so hateful towards those who have money. Join our ranks instead of whining about your situation.
Any other questions?