Save. Spend. Splurge.

Stop being proud of being burned and stressed out

I dislike it when people proudly proclaim:




I sort of side eye them and stay quiet depending on my relationship with them, because I think that this is a dumb thing to be proud of.

Why are we part of a work culture that is proud to be burned out?

Why are we thinking we have to be stressed and upset/thinking about work all the time, not sleeping well, to be badasses?

It is the most ridiculous thing in the world. I don’t want a job or my career to stress me out.

I want to be happy. I want to make good money. I want to save it, and not be in that position.

Clearly, something is wrong, and instead of being proud of it, we should take a beat, and figure out how we can scale back.

My guesses of why people are stressed:

  • Family life is hard – Partner not pulling their weight, children are feeling neglected – time to start pushing back on your family to start taking on their responsibilities and carrying their weight in the family; stop giving in to that defaulted emotional burden that gets put on women everywhere
  • You’re trying to be a perfectionist- you’re trying to be perfect mothers, wives/partners, etc and ignoring yourself
  • You’re a straight up workaholic – I am one too, and I am not proud of it, but I have to consciously stop and pull myself back from feeling like I am a tightly wound ball of hell about to snap
  • You aren’t saying “No” enough; there are instances where you shouldn’t say “No” to advance your career, but know your limits – you’ve got start pushing back and start saying “No” when you’re being overloaded and stop trying to be a superstar
  • You have to start scaling back on commitments – language lessons, sports, tutoring.. before you know it, your whole week is shot from just ferrying kids around to activities; or you’re saying “Yes” too often to events. Start scheduling in downtime, say “No” once in a while and just stay home.
  • You’re doing female-oriented busywork at the office that distracts you from your actual job
  • You suck at time management and organization – Sorry, but you do. If you have hours to scroll mindlessly on Instagram, you have hours to wash the dishes, vacuum, do laundry, and deep clean the bathroom (I did this with Little Bun and it took me 3 hours total). You have to understand what the priorities

Really, I don’t want to hear how stressed out you are. It just tells me you’re not organized or aware enough to see what the issue is, and to fix it.

I don’t hear a prideful boast of how important and crucial you are, I think the complete opposite, instead.


  • Catherine T

    Completely agree. Although I can also be guilty of working too much and trying to be a perfectionist, not acknowledging when help is necessary. I’ve been burned really bad pushing myself too hard for work – and for what?? An image of myself that was completely unrealistic, and made me miserable. I’ve worked hard to have more of a balance now – literally, not looking at my work phone on the weekends and evenings – except to double check my calendar for the next day (i.e., breakfast meetings before COVID, or events where I need to be dressed up).

    I also find that the people who really relish saying they are SO BUSY – at least the ones I work with – I’m not sure what they are so busy doing, but they aren’t working on the projects that we’re doing together!! I feel like those ones are trying to justify their (work) existence, as opposed to being really stressed out and busy and being proud of that. It’s like they wish they were busy…. you know what I mean?

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