Sherry’s Ramblings for the Week
FEATURED AS A RETIREMENT BLOGGER (?)
So apparently I’m a retirement blogger. Don’t believe me? Read this list.
Er.. OK. I’ll take it! Thanks!
REALLY BUSY THESE DAYS…
From moving to a new apartment and settling in…
…to trying to take as much advantage of summer as possible because it is fleeting and we will be confined inside during winter months most of the time…
…to trying to sell OTHER stuff on Kijiji that I know will go, and to just.. get.. ORGANIZED.
This is insanity. How do people do this and work full-time?
THIS. THIS IS WHAT I AM DEALING WITH.
I HAVE BEEN LETTING MY STYLE & APPEARANCE GO AND HERE ARE MY OBSERVATIONS & RESULTS
When I say “letting myself go”, I mean I have not been wearing a stitch of makeup, I have been sloppily dressing in the same wrap dress for the past 2 weeks, no jewelry, no care taken.
I haven’t been posting much on Instagram because of this laziness…
But here’s my secret…
I’ve been going out like in public this too.
(If I owned sweatpants, I’d probably have worn them too, but luckily, I do not own a single pair so it stopped me from reaching such depths.)
First part of it is because I am ridiculously fatigued.
Baby Bun has been kicking my ass by refusing to nap (I had to scream myself hoarse at least 3 days in a row and threaten to revoke Park Privileges) before he deigned to close his eyes and nap for his much needed 2-hour nap.
On top of refusing to nap, I have to try and force him down AGAIN at night to go to sleep. Cue more screaming and threats.
Then he wakes up at 5 a.m., and only wants MOMMY. No Daddy. MOMMY ONLY. I have to get his bottle, hand-feed him cut fruit…. play with him, etc.
Second part is that I have been slightly depressed.
I am in what this book would call my “well”.
I have been deep in my well, feeling sorry for myself about stuff that I do not have to feel sorry about — my lack of contract work (I am resigned to not working for the rest of the year), and that I am a terrible mother for having yelled at Baby Bun so much when he sees me as his entire world, and this whole new condo buying business and its troubles…
Anyway, all that combined is the reason why I have been letting myself go.
(I have since been trying to scale out of my well, so I’m feeling better).
As a result, I have noticed two major things:
ONE: I FEEL TERRIBLE WHEN I LOOK TERRIBLE
Let it be known that I am not THAT vain to never want to go out of the house without being perfectly dressed and made up, but I do love to dress up and take pride in it.
I look terrible (to me), and it affects my mood.
It seriously affects my mood when I do not wear a bit of slap and feel like I look decent for the world.
TWO: PEOPLE (TRUE OR NOT) SEEM TO TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY
I do find that at stores, I get better treatment if I look put together and presentable.
I also find that people tend to help me out more and are more likely to hold doors open when I look better.
I wonder if it is also because I FEEL better and therefore am nicer, smile more and am friendly, and therefore, get better treatment.
Must do more research / experimentation on this.
Also, I am imagining the following when I go out looking like a slob.
You have the one camp where they’re sympathetic thinking:
Look at her toddler sucking out her will to live with his tiny little chubby clenched fists and red little screwed up face.
Then he makes her carry him with one arm (30lbs mind you), while using the other one to attempt to push a heavily-laden stroller.
These people are super nice, and they open doors for you, they give you sympathetic glances and smiles, they try to intervene kindly with your furious little
monster toddler to tell him that he is being unreasonable and mean to his precious mother, and they try to distract him by waving toys or candy in his face.
These people are awesome.
….but then you have the other camp that is thinking:
Whoa. What happened? She has completely lost it. She does NOT have it together.
These people are not necessarily mean but they are not sympathetic to your cause.
They will give you dirty looks when you lose it at your toddler (no sleep = shorter cord of patience and higher increase of angry outbursts), and will NOT UNDERSTAND how hard it is to handle a toddler even though he is 1/3 of your size and so adorably cute.
They will not understand when you just want to doze off on a bus bench while your child attempts to lick a tree, and think to themselves:
I am never going to ever do that to my children.
In my day, children NEVER behaved like that. Harrumph.
Whatever. Too tired to care. Too hoarse to yell at Baby Bun again.
THREE: I GET GREAT TREATMENT WHEN I LOOK BETTER
I dressed up and went to go see someone about a thing, and I was supposed to be charged a $500 fee.
By looking nice, turning on what little charm I could muster in my haze of sleepiness, I got that charge waived.
Call it feminine wiles, but if I am saving myself and my partner $500 for some jacked up fee, I’mma do it.
Looks like I’m back to wearing at least concealer daily and making an effort to dress up!
YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE ONES YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED
I have the son I have always wanted.
I didn’t know he was what I wanted, but he is exactly the right son for me and my partner.
I am seeing this as being true, that your children are the ones you have always dreamed of and wanted.
Every parent gets their wish.
I see parents who love that their kids are so active and wild (the good side), and other parents like me, who prefer quieter, more introspective children.
I don’t mind that Baby Bun is a little shy (I was too), and I think he is more sensitive than other children (another positive, not a negative thing), and he is easygoing with things that don’t matter to him (e.g. a child takes a toy from him, and if he doesn’t care, he lets them have it… but if he does, he fights for it).
I gave up making my little monster to nap when he was two and a half. It was such a struggle. He now goes without a nap (unless we happen to take him somewhere in the car in the afternoon). The result of this, is a child that goes down at 7pm (thank god!) Hope it gets better for you!
Hi Sherry, you’ve probably had lots of well meaning advice so I’ll just add my 2 cents worth.
When my son decided he didn’t want afternoon sleeps, I certainly didn’t agree with him. That was my time and I needed it.
I bought a CD player and CD’s of his favourite cartoon stories – Roary the Racing Car and a story about fire engines.
I told him he had to lie down and listen to a story, he didn’t have to go to sleep. I shut to curtains ‘just to stop the sun shining in your eyes’ and gave him a bottle.
I put the CD on repeat and said I was off to do XYZ and then I’d be back. 99 times out of 100 he was asleep. Those stories on CD were a Godsend.
Sounds like a stratgy that worked well for you!
Hope things start looking up for you soon. Don’t worry about working, you never know when a new contract might pop-up. Also, I’ve heard – from sage parents all around me – that children DO grow up in the end, so just hold on for a bit. This too shall pass!
In the words of Miss Scarlet O’Hara: “After all, tomorrow is another day!”.