Power is not something that is given to you.
You have to take it.
The problem is that I find a lot of us, tend not to want to reach out to even try. We see it there — a big job, a promotion, a new title at a new company, and we second-guess ourselves.
We ask and berate ourselves if we are even qualified, we find comfort in staying where we know what the environment is like, no matter how toxic, and then we complain but not too much, because we are still grateful we are even in our jobs, instead of being in a lower-paid job, or worse, at home with no prospects. We think of the worse situation and think: hey, this is crappy but it isn’t so bad, right?
Sometimes, that’s the worst attitude to take.
The right attitude is to do what you think you deserve, and take the power where you see the opportunity instead of giving it up to someone else because you don’t value yourself enough.
When you learn how much you’re worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.
Why do we do this?
Why do we tell ourselves we aren’t qualified enough? Not good enough?
Maybe next time, we’ll get that promotion, instead of taking a step back and saying to ourselves that something feels wrong?
Even when we objectify our results and how much we have contributed, we still think: Oh but he got that promotion because he is…. [ older / has more seniority / etc ], rather than questioning why and then taking action on it – either complaining to get that next promotion or quitting for a company that appreciates your value and added contribution.
It isn’t easy being the one who is discordant. The one who is saying something against what is happening. In fact, it downright SUCKS.
I have complained so many times at work when I was younger, that I have been berated and fired more times than I can count.
Know what happens?
We learn not to say anything. We learn not to speak up, and to keep our heads down to not make trouble so that we have the privilege of keeping our jobs.
In the end, the only way to really enact change, is to take power.
It is to be the one at the top who can make those decisions.
The one who is making all that money to be able to deal with a company as an equal and say: Look, what you are charging me is unfair. I don’t see that discrimination happening to any other consumer, apparently I’m being singled out because I’m a young woman.
(Yes, true story. I had to fight to get a reimbursement of $2000 that I was due, because someone deliberately misled me in a purchase.)
We have to be the ones who have actual positions of power. Not by being the arm candy of the ones IN power, but actually being the ones who HAVE power.
It isn’t really empowering when you are being showered by gifts to stay as a trophy wife, toting a designer bag or going on trips you haven’t paid for and instagramming all of that ‘good life’ to show off how nice it is.
I don’t see any power in that.
What’s the power? That you can get someone to pay for things? That you have nice things to wear?
There is no power in having a nice bag on your arm if you have to rely on someone else to get that bag in the first place.
These are just false symbols of power and status. You don’t have anything of your own.
No, the real power is to be the one making that money so that you can say: No I choose where to go for our vacation this year, and if I want to buy this ridiculously expensive bag, I’m going to. With my own money.
The real power is in the cash you have and the ability to generate it. (And save it!)
Cash is Queen.
And this is the attitude we should be developing and honing for ourselves.
This is what I have always felt ever since I was a young girl. I saw how hard my mother had to work to be taken seriously just because she was a woman.
I saw that having money was what gave you power.
Actual money that you could renew and regenerate for yourself, that you could earn ON YOUR OWN, not money that was given to you by the government, or a spouse, or whoever else.
You could depend on yourself, and know with the utmost confidence that you would always be fine.
No matter what because you had yourself to count on, and you would always be there for yourself.
This is truly empowering, and it is really time that we stop celebrating things that don’t matter and upholding values that make no sense other than to hold down the accomplishments of yourself.
It really starts with us. To stop accepting what people tell us is possible, and to know we are capable of more for ourselves instead of doubting our abilities.
Stop thinking about others, think about yourself for once.
A penny is a start to a million
Stop thinking money management is difficult because it really isn’t.
It isn’t a question of knowing whether you can do math or not — you CAN, this is basic stuff even my 4-year old can do — and all it takes is a change in your mindset to get there. It takes a bit of hard work and discipline to track your expenses and create a budget, but even that just takes time before it becomes second nature.