Ask Sherry: My granddaughter won’t leave her room & Leaving a crappy job

You asked, and I am answering every Friday once I have enough questions!

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My granddaughter is sixteen never comes out of her room. Has no friends. Room has blankets over windows. My daughter doesn’t think anything is wrong with this. I am worried. Very. This isn’t normal. Help.

It definitely doesn’t sound healthy, based on what you are saying. I feel ill-equipped to even suggest anything that would help without feeling like I am not giving any concrete help to begin with. But I shall nevertheless, try. What came to mind immediately was: Did you maybe try to get her to come out with you? Go for a walk? Chat? Do something she likes? Could she be depressed? Does she need to talk to someone? I find therapy can be very useful, just to unload to a stranger who has no stakes in your given situation, so to speak.

Is there anything she enjoys doing that she couldn’t do, or wasn’t able to for some reason? Maybe you could just talk to her. Take her out. Try to engage her in some way. I can definitely say that not having friends is a very lonely place to be and it can spiral out of control because you feel all alone, and it starts to take on a life of its own. Even the most recluse of all those I know (my partner), still has friends, a family support, and of course us, to lean on. Does your granddaughter feel like she has this?

I even wonder, for mealtimes, to do tasks around the house, there must be SOMETHING that gets her out? I do not know the situation well enough, nor do I feel adequately qualified to say anything more than what I have suggested. I feel helpless, truly.

If anyone in the comments who is more of a mental health or youth professional can please comment, I’d appreciate it.

Do you take paid sponsored posts on your site?

Sure, depends on how much you want to pay me, it’ll be a colossal waste of time for both of us, and likely the reason why I do not have many sponsored posts.

I would really appreciate your thoughts on financial factors to take into account in a job search. In my situation I’m leaving a job with no PTO, $16 an hr, no benefits, and they just forced us to schedule 40+ hrs a week which is over the limit for the state. It’s a small company so they can get away with murder. And are. So I’m looking for work. What should I ask about in an interview or check in a contract to make sure I’m signing myself up for a more financially stable situation?

I feel like you already answered your own questions. You are going to look for: PTO, $16/hour or more (you should do some research to find out what your going rate is), and mandated or stipulated work hours/life balance with overtime. Shore up cash just in case this job also doesn’t work out (it happens), and try your best to build a cushion if you can, to help you look for that next job. You have to know what you’re worth though, and what you are willing to do.

There is no better time than now to start looking, I hear the market is quite desirable, and you definitely want to recheck what you should be paid (I have no idea what your job is). Put out feelers around to family and friends about a new job as well.

Depending on what you do, and considering your pay, maybe just trying a whole new job/industry could be something to also consider. Don’t feel pigeonholed. Just throwing it out there.

Still have a burning question?

You can ask any question using the form here and all of my previous Ask Sherry posts are here.