In Ask Sherry

Ask Sherry: Do I ever want to just eff off and leave my family?

You asked, and I am answering every Friday once I have enough questions!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1DKFg6SD0Kmb_0U5yb4OTNfkvfmsf5dWxJJbZTzUtH7M/edit

You can ask any question using the form here.

Hi Sherry! I was wondering if you ever feel the need for personal space/alone time inside your home (both in general and during these Covid times), like, for example, to be in a spare bedroom or somewhere else by yourself.

Do you ever retreat to such a place or feel the need to do it in order to recharge yourself, do your thing, like reading, blogging, or whatever you prefer? Or are you fine always being with your family members in the same room(s)?

(I am teasing with the title by the way, I know that’s not what you meant! :-))

And yes I do. ALL THE TIME

100% I wish I could leave and go out of the apartment elsewhere, to a secret cocoon where I have this day bed, all my books, lots of chocolate and I can relax.

I fantasize about this. This is why when I was at home, I ALWAYS made it a point to leave once a week to go out and be alone, so I could be by myself again. I love being alone, and I miss it especially during this pandemic.

It is ROUGH to be with the same people 24/7, especially my son, not because I don’t love them, but because it’s hard for me to turn my brain off if I do not leave them and physically leave the apartment.

Unless I am physically away from my son, I worry about it. Period. While he’s sleeping, he’s playing, he’s somewhere else, I am always attuned to him and his needs and it is mentally exhausting. My brain is always on, and tuned to Little Bun.

If I physically leave the apartment, I don’t have him on my mind and I can release, and relax. It’s also why I think I have been under constant stress (aura migraine pain on the rise), because I can’t unclench my brain.

I loved going out once a week, even to just sit in a cafe, read a book or blog. Or just browse on Instagram. It was so great. Now, I am stuck with them 24/7.

I even like it when my partner goes out more often and leaves me alone with Little Bun at home, because I just like having SPACE and less people around me (I have some introvert leanings). But it is what it is.

Still have a burning question?

You can ask any question using the form here and all of my previous Ask Sherry posts are here.

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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4 Comments

  1. NZ Muse

    ALLLLL the time.

    I can more or less switch off when physically away, like you. That’s why I quite enjoy my days going into the office. And why I have to leave the house for a break. The house is too small and not soundproof enough…

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      This. This a thousand times.

      Reply
  2. Gail

    It is normal and does not mean we don’t love our families! My roommate lifetimes ago could not stand it when she was alone. That is a problem!
    I have always gone to sleep early in the evening, while my husband sleeps in in the a.m. This gives us the place to ourselves, and it works.
    After work sometimes I used to not go directly home. Deco pression time always helped me find myself after dealing with150 adolescents and before dealing with my family.
    Thank you for daring to be honest.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I am definitely an ambivert. I like people in small doses, but then I am overwhelmed and need to be alone.

      Reply

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