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Ask Sherry: Would I ever consider being a surrogate mother?

You asked, and I am answering every Friday once I have enough questions!

You can ask any question using the form here.

What is your love language?

This one:

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
I took the quiz here. I don’t even need my partner to take this, I know it is his as well. He doesn’t talk, he acts.

Your partner’s salads look amazing! I can see what goes in it, but mine never come out like that. Would you post any tips on what makes a good salad?

My partner wants to say:

Homemade and with love.

(..which is NOT TO SAY that you don’t make your salads with love, but he thought it was cute and very Anglophone (English) to add that in there)

So the main components to his salads are:

1. Spring Greens — he likes the organic spring mix
2. Homemade croutons — Pretty simple, he takes old bread, but FLAVOURED bread like red pepper bread, or black olive bread, cuts it up, and then toasts it in the oven for a bit to make croutons. Easy peasy, makes a huge difference
3. High quality balsamic vinegar — We buy the super expensive $30 bottles that are tiny and so dang delicious (comes out like thick sweet syrup)
4. Some sort of filler — brown rice is his new favourite because it adds something, makes it filling and helps the salad have body
5. Good quality olive or walnut oil — just a drizzle

6. Cheese / Eggs / Chicken — If you are vegan or vegetarian, you can substitute mock chicken or other things, but we have found that add some sort of “protein” helps bring it together, especially when marinated in yummy tamari, soy, or sesame oil sauces (Wafu dressing is good)
7. Avocado — LOTS of this. We also add tomatoes but avocados are really a core ingredient here

Then, it’s just a good balance.

It’s making sure you have enough protein to go with the salad, it is well-mixed, avocado all over the place, and then to just present it well, and fan out the food rather than dumping it all in one spot.

My favourite hands down has been this one with smoked candied salmon, and eggs with olive bread croutons.

After that, it’s just Instagrammy tricks like taking side angle shots, adding a nice filter… you know. But the salad actually is very yummy, so it isn’t hard to make it look great.


Would you ever consider acting as a gestational surrogate? Why or why not? Super random question I know… My gay friends are looking for a surrogate and it has gotten me thinking about it.

Okay so. On the one hand, I AM ALL FOR IT because I want to give people the joy of having a child when they cannot on their own.

On the other hand, I would have carried this child for 9 months, and loved them, and while I would still be part of their lives, I wouldn’t be part of their lives… it is very hard to make such a decision.

If I were related to the couple, like a cousin, or sister, yes, I’d consider it even more strongly.. but ultimately, I’d probably say no.

After having Little Bun, it is too hard to even consider having given birth to a child and to not be their mother. I’d see them look like me, and act like me in some ways, and feel very … lost.

If I didn’t want kids at all, AT ALL, then I’d 100% consider it seeing as I didn’t want to raise one anyway, and I’d be helping out friends.

But I’ve always wanted at least one child and if I had more, I’d want to keep them all. Like mini Pokémon cuties.

That said, you can also adopt. I know people want “their own blood”, politically correct or not, but adoption is a real option for many of these couples, and honestly, there are so many kids out there who would love to have a family. I feel like it would be the perfect match to not create a new life but give a new life to one that is already waiting.

Still have a burning question?

You can ask any question using the form here and all of my previous Ask Sherry posts are here.

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