In Life, Parenting

You’ve already made choices for your children whether you like it or not

I am under no illusions that I am NOT making choices for Baby Bun.

I KNOW I am. I know I have.

The fact that I am not choosing a religion for him because I don’t follow one, means that I am choosing that he doesn’t have a religion to follow.

The fact that he has never tasted juice or pop in his life yet, or watched a full television show, means I am making choices for him to not have sugary drinks and watch television.

Are they right? Are they wrong?

I don’t know but I am making those choices regardless.

So it really galls me when people like my colleague says things like:

I don’t believe in the Catholic religion at all because I am an atheist, but I am OK with my kids being baptized, getting First Communion and so on, so that they have the choice to be married in a Catholic church. 

Well.. you are making the choice for them to be baptized and have their First Communion so that they can be married in a church.

You have already chosen.

You have not given them the choice to NOT have gone through those Catholic rituals and ceremonies just because you think it’s traditional to be married in a church.

You have chosen to NOT convert them to Islam, Judaism, atheism, Star Wars-ism, etc.

(Ironically, this same colleague would be horrified if they chose to become Muslims. *eye roll* To me, it’s all the same thing in the end, it’s a set of beliefs.)

Or how about a child who has been born into a family of Muslims?

He or she, has not chosen to be Muslim but they will grow up to be Muslim because that is all they know.

How is that in any way, NOT choosing for them?

We are parents, we are choosing to raise our children in the way that we choose to live.

That is already a choice.

Again, I am not saying any of this is right or wrong because I refuse to say that anyone’s choices for themselves or their children is right or wrong.

…..but don’t tell me that you are actually giving them choices by making choices for them; you’re really only just justifying your actions (or inactions) to yourself.

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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4 Comments

  1. tomatoketchup

    Good for you letting your child decide instead of brainwashing him before he’s had ample time to develop critical thinking skills. My parents did the same, and I’m so grateful for it.

    Reply
    1. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

      For now I’m brainwashing him to eat vegetables and be an atheist but I’m OK with him choosing intelligently in the future. There are certain guidelines to follow but the rest is OK by me.

      Reply
  2. Kara

    Can a person be baptized as an adult in the catholic church? I’m Episcopalian which is close to the same so I’m guessing they can. Anyway, that person’s child could have made their own decision at a later time in life. I respect the choice you are making but I choose a different path and can’t imagine raising my children without Christian beliefs as my faith in God helps me so much with day to day life.

    Reply
    1. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

      I believe so! You have to do the Sacraments and then be baptized after a test I think.

      Reply

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