I am under no illusions that I am NOT making choices for Baby Bun.
I KNOW I am. I know I have.
The fact that I am not choosing a religion for him because I don’t follow one, means that I am choosing that he doesn’t have a religion to follow.
The fact that he has never tasted juice or pop in his life yet, or watched a full television show, means I am making choices for him to not have sugary drinks and watch television.
Are they right? Are they wrong?
I don’t know but I am making those choices regardless.
So it really galls me when people like my colleague says things like:
I don’t believe in the Catholic religion at all because I am an atheist, but I am OK with my kids being baptized, getting First Communion and so on, so that they have the choice to be married in a Catholic church.
Well.. you are making the choice for them to be baptized and have their First Communion so that they can be married in a church.
You have already chosen.
You have not given them the choice to NOT have gone through those Catholic rituals and ceremonies just because you think it’s traditional to be married in a church.
You have chosen to NOT convert them to Islam, Judaism, atheism, Star Wars-ism, etc.
(Ironically, this same colleague would be horrified if they chose to become Muslims. *eye roll* To me, it’s all the same thing in the end, it’s a set of beliefs.)
Or how about a child who has been born into a family of Muslims?
He or she, has not chosen to be Muslim but they will grow up to be Muslim because that is all they know.
How is that in any way, NOT choosing for them?
We are parents, we are choosing to raise our children in the way that we choose to live.
That is already a choice.
Again, I am not saying any of this is right or wrong because I refuse to say that anyone’s choices for themselves or their children is right or wrong.
…..but don’t tell me that you are actually giving them choices by making choices for them; you’re really only just justifying your actions (or inactions) to yourself.