In Discussions, Money

Why do I need to pretend that I don’t have money and it doesn’t make life easier?

Thank goodness I have money struck a rather sore note with a reader who commented:

I know this is your blog, but this is a very showy post. It’s flaunting your wealth and makes you seem presumptuous.

Well.

It was actually more of a gratitude post, so I’m sort of put out it didn’t come across like that. :\

I didn’t think I was clenching gold bars in both fists screaming:

I AM RICH, BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or maybe I was.

I was actually very thankful I had money saved to pay for everything, because I acknowledged and understood the consequences of not having money.

The debt that people go into for things that cannot be predicted from medical bills to other catastrophes are well documented around the web, and they certainly write about it in detail.

I cannot think of someone more honest about her situation than my very good friend Revanche over at A Gai Shan Life, who is currently in a middle of a very real threat to her family’s safety due to her crazy neighbour; she’d love to have the funds saved to be able to pack up and move away from this psycho but to get a down payment for a property is no small feat. Not only that, she has supported her family from the start with her deadbeat brother hanging on her back, dealing with family issues up the wazoo and having crippling lifelong pain from fibromyalgia to boot. By the way, this is what fibromyalgia is and it is horrific.

I read her blog religiously, I talk to her constantly and I cannot imagine what she has gone through or goes through.


On top of it all, I also have heard plenty of stories from my mother about how she grew up as a child and what she learned about money, and have internalized much of it. I have no illusions about what she went through (starving, malnourished poverty) versus what I grew up with (comfortable yet awkwardly middle-class, with plenty to eat).

Since I am supposed to be talking about my money and my thoughts on it, on the blog, so why would I need to pretend that I don’t have money,  (which I am seeing is a huge boon and stress reliever), and a very healthy family that doesn’t put any demand on me?

I’m not in denial that I am privileged to have made good money and saved it. I mean, if my personal net worth hovering at $500,000 in my early 30s and a cleared house paid for in cash is not an indication of wealth, or that between my partner and I, we both have over a million saved with many years left to retirement, what is?

I can only write about what I’m doing and what my own financial situation is. I’m not about to make up things or avoid talking about the subject.

I feel like sometimes, people who are well-off tend to experience reverse ostracization as a result, so you don’t really hear many bloggers talking about having money, using it, saving it, being grateful, and enjoying it. Instead, you hear about bloggers who are in trouble, have no money, lots of debt, deadbeat jobs and no way out.

Can’t we hear both sides of the equation without judging one or the other?

Let it be said:

I am happy that my (saved) money solves my problems.

I’m grateful that I earn a stellar salary when I work, can take plenty of time off to chill out when I’m young (rather than leaving it for when I am old and arthritic), and have saved it for such (minor) things that crop up.

I don’t feel “rich” in the sense of that word, but I am well-off and privileged.

Why should I even have to apologize for any of this or pretend to not have money, when it’s clear that I do?

Having money is worth it.

It’s a real stress reliever, and I encourage all of you to budget & track your expenses, and invest it like a boss so that you don’t need to think about it (much) again when situations arise.

Easier said than done, right?


Share Tweet Pin It +1

Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K (savings rate = 85%). I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

You may also like

Previous PostLaundry Tips: Keep your clothes looking like new with natural methods
Next PostLazy children are not allowed to fail: Behold the result

13 Comments

  1. Tania

    Not showy, you were just sharing the peace of mind that good financial habits has given you. I never understand why people criticize people’s real life factual situation as bragging (salary, net worth, etc) when reading a money diary or personal finance post.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      And I have recently shown, it is not all roses! Sometimes you can’t work when you want to based on restrictions (travel is mine.. I won’t leave the city because of Baby Bun).

      Reply
  2. StackingCash

    A few years ago I made a fool of myself complaining about how rich Debt Ninja was compared to myself. An ugly human trait many of us have is jealousy. Some more so than others. So even though I’m more tempered these days when it come to being envious of others, it’s still hard to deal with at times. Human emotions can suck. But they can also inspire us to do better. You have nothing to apologise for. Although, by being grateful and acknowledging a little luck with tons of hard work and effort goes a long ways in showing that you do have a some humility and empathy for others in lesser situations. I did love your image of gold bars and screaming I’m rich, bitch, however 😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      Glad to hear it made you laugh. I thought a little humour might help things.

      Reply
  3. Leslie

    It seems like he comments we leave online really say more about us than about the article/video/etc that we’re commenting on.

    Reply
  4. SarahN

    Yeah I recall my ‘about me’ page had a bit sorta apologising for have money, but hey, again, I’m thankful and it’s honest. i’m not trying to rub it in anyone’s nose, and Australia is more expensive (and pays higher accordingly), so you know…

    I don’t worry about your money posts – but you can be judgey, with certain things. But i think you know that, and that’s who you!

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I’m judgily opinionated 😉

      Reply
      1. dunny

        This is why I love to read your blog. You have opinions and provide a lot of personal and family details. And you have money and are proud of saving and investing while still having a luxurious life. Having it both ways is great. I am glad for you.

        Reply
  5. Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life

    Thanks for the links, as always <3

    Can't win, can we? If you're vague about how well you do, then it's "fake". If you're honest, then you're "bragging" or "presumptuous". I'd also venture a guess that if a dude were to share what he's grateful for that's come as a result of his hard work, he's ten times less likely to get that "presumptuous" label.

    Reply
      1. San

        Huge fan here for years. Please don’t ever change for the jealous haters. Your honesty about your money management skills and your journey has been a huge inspiration and educational lesson for the rest of us to make changes in our own financial lives.

        Reply

Leave a Reply