What I read: The Spring Social Isolation of 2020 Edition

WHAT I READ

Obviously tons of time on my hands, but surprisingly, I am finally getting through all of my home tasks that have been on my list for years….

Amongst them, reading books in my library I have been stockpiling:

Save me the Plums

I love every book by Reichl. She is a beautiful writer, and this one is about how she went from being a food writer to the editor-in-chief of Gourmet at Condé Nast under Si Newhouse. Extremely revealing (she names names!), and such a wonderful look into what goes into a magazine, what she sacrificed to have her career (mothers have the worst time, is all I am going to say; being scrutinized if they’re ambitious while fathers get off scot-free)….

LOVE. THIS. BOOK.

Fair Play

Speaking of scrutiny, everyone should read this. Even if you (like me), think you have an equal relationship, you kind of don’t. I can see how my relationship could be improved with task delineation particularly around Little Bun tasks.

I’ve offloaded bathtime (after 6 years), and a bunch of other things on occasion by refusing to be the FIRST ONE to go to him when he is in the bathroom, or calls out. I have to actively stop myself but it has helped my mental sanity greatly.

It is incredible the amount of work we do without even thinking about it. It is WORTH A READ.

Raising Financially Fit Kids

A great book to give you guidance by age range.

I have already started with Little Bun, praising him for being a great “saver” of his stars and hearts he collects, pretending to have a Toy Store where he saves up money and gains 10% interest on it each day in a “high interest savings” account to introduce him to the idea of saving and then building on the savings based on the capital.

Becoming

I waited about 3 months for this book to become available to read and the minute it was, I pounced on it.

It did not disappoint. Honestly, it laid out her life and how she never expected any of this to happen, and how painful or difficult things were during the entire process.

Not as a specific thought on this book but a general one throughout the theme of what I’ve been reading lately:

Mothers who work versus fathers who work, get penalized a lot more for little things.

Fathers make assumptions that mothers’ salaries are equivalent or substitutes for childcare salaries and this attitude needs to change.

“Who’s going to watch the baby when you’re gone off on your trip for work?“, asks the father to the mother. Umm…. YOU?

You figure it out, or WE figure it out it together because it seems like you think your job as a man, is the only one that is untouchable and a given but a mother is supposed to fall on her sword for the family. I think not.

Back to this book — she’s honest and I can not recommend it enough. Worth the wait. I love how honest and authentic she is which means a lot to a lot of us, in this day and age. To be genuine and to truly feel and mean it.

I am happy for everything she has, and has accomplished but I am also sad for her sacrifices to get there; as with anything, things that are ‘worth it’ or ‘successes’, take a lot out of you in the background – the side that no one sees. I wrote a whole post on exactly that topic – what my accomplishments have cost me, actually….

Scam me if you can

This is an EXCELLENT BOOK. You must read it. I need to implement a few changes, myself.

Please, take the time to read it, and to warn those who are vulnerable, especially trusting parents or grandparents.

My mother has RANDOMLY LET PEOPLE INTO THE HOME to “check” the water heater and I only found out until after it happened and I am certain they were checking to see if there was anything to steal (there wasn’t, my parents are not rich).

They could have easily stolen their identities though.

Michelle Moran‘s books

They. Are. INCREDIBLE. I dive into one and I am lost for hours until it is done. Michelle Moran has hooked me to the end of every page with her writing.

I read the following:

• Nefertiti
• Cleopatra’s Daughter
• The Heretic Queen
• The Second Empress
• Madame Tussaud

Way of the wolf

A good book on selling. What he is saying isn’t rocket science… but it is surprising how bad people are at selling if they are doing what he is saying in the book.

The Power of Bad

An excellent book especially during these times, on how negativity breeds more negativity and distrust, and how to harness that idea of negativity to be useful instead of harmful.

NOTE:

I’d take the last part of the book with a grain of salt about how they’re fearmongering for no reason, as the author works for the Koch institute and it is known they’re a supporter of the Republicans in the U.S. with a strong interest in making everyone feel like everything is fine and there are no issues, so that things keep going as-is and there are no uprisings or dissent.

Moving on though, I found the book helpful:

For instance – children need to be encouraged, but clearly learn better when they make mistakes and are told they aren’t doing something right, or getting penalized on tests/pushed to be a better student.

The carrot approach works, but not really, based on research – you cannot give out A’s to every child and expect them to be proud of it when they haven’t actually earned it. Giving out very few As, barely any Bs and mostly Cs, is a way to motivate children.

There’s a fine line of course.

But, negativity can be bad – when you in the middle of something like this virus pandemic, to use negativity to breed more and more negativity, rather than harnessing it or reframing the situation.

Example: I get to stay inside and be safe from this invisible virus. I am not imprisoned in my home.

Lastly, the rule of 4 – ONE negative critique takes FOUR positive ones to balance it out.

People see the ONE person who hates them, and not the FIVE who love them, and this is true everywhere.

The Wedding Date

I cannot believe the ratings this book got. Honestly….. are you people just lowering your standards because Kinsella is not pumping out more books?

Terrible, chicklit. I… Yeah. This book was terrible. No real plot, no real anticipation, just … like I am reading some dating story from a friend. BLECH.

Oh and he is of course a doctor. Of course he is.

What I couldn’t read:

• The Secret – This is too floofy for me. I believe in visualization for the end goals, but not in mystic stuff. Basically, visualization works. You don’t need to read the book now, you’re welcome.
• The Secrets we Kept – I only liked the first chapter. The rest of it lost me. The first chapter talked about women being secretaries in the 1950s after the war, and reminiscing about what they did for the war, feeling independent and autonomous…. and then the men came back. Sexist, very Mad Men and makes me happy to be a woman today.