In Discussions, Life

Allowing myself to embrace the mental void

I need to stop.

To be more accurate, I need to learn how to stop.

I am so used to my brain going off in a zillion directions whether it is at home or at work, that I think I have forgotten how to let my brain wander.

This morning I did a whole kitchen full of dirty dishes, and I wore my iPod while doing it.

Technology-iPod-Keep-Calm-Crown-Music-Listen-2

My brain wandered, and it was incredible. I really felt the most at peace than I had ever been for the last little while, and it really helped that Baby Bun was already bundled up and shuffled off to daycare before I got started on the kitchen.

(Otherwise, he runs up, pushes or slaps my legs to get my attention as he is still very small and tiny and then when I bend down, he yanks the earbuds out of my ears. *sigh* )

It felt.. really.. good.

..but then my mind started wandering and I started thinking: But why do I need to always fill the mental void?

Why do I feel the need to read, to play with Baby Bun, to do SOMETHING rather than be able to just sit there in silence with my thoughts.


Is it a bad thing?

A good thing?

Or neither?

Right now, I can’t quite figure it out but it is almost like my brain NEEDS to be working on something, ANYTHING. I can’t just sit, and be.

Is it because I’m too wound up?

I’m probably thinking too much about this being a problem with me when maybe it isn’t one at all.

This is why I failed at any kind of meditation in yoga. I just wanted to start getting to the poses and working out.

I hate breathing exercises.

I hate meditating.

I hate ‘wasting time’ (in my head), but now I am wondering, and researching on breathing methods.

Is sitting around really just a waste of time? What kind of benefit could I get from something like meditation?

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Am my own Sugar Daddy. Am a millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I have 11 side incomes that are on track in 2020 to make me $50K - $75K. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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5 Comments

  1. Laura

    I started meditating this fall – 2 to 10 minutes at a time, once a day.
    If I miss a few days, I can feel my mind filling up and know I need to take a few minutes to sit and breathe.

    I highly recommend the book “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works”

    It’s what got me hooked! A highly compelling guide and funny to boot!! I almost stopped during the first chapter because Harris sounds like an ass, but keep going!! A great read.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I will definitely read that, I will try my best to calm my brain down. I have so much I want to do…

      Reply
  2. raluca

    I understand your problem so well.
    This is something I struggle with a lot and I know it’s unhealthy. My brain craves constant entertainment, I always need to hear something or do something or think about stuff.
    My saving grace has been hiking with my dogs. It’s restful and it’s and instant mood booster.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      And you are FORCED to be mentally quiet, right? I don’t have that. My brain wants to do all this stuff and when I rest I feel guilty.

      Reply
      1. raluca

        Taking care your yourself (resting, meditating, spa-days) should not make you feel guilty! Why is it more important to have a clean house than to have a clean brain?

        If you need an extra incentive here it is: it’s not resting, it’s maintainance for your body. Once lost, health cannot be bought back cheaply and a lot of times, health begins with in the mind. When you have mental space you make better decisions for your body and your life.

        Reply

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