Allowing myself to embrace the mental void
I need to stop.
To be more accurate, I need to learn how to stop.
I am so used to my brain going off in a zillion directions whether it is at home or at work, that I think I have forgotten how to let my brain wander.
This morning I did a whole kitchen full of dirty dishes, and I wore my iPod while doing it.
My brain wandered, and it was incredible. I really felt the most at peace than I had ever been for the last little while, and it really helped that Baby Bun was already bundled up and shuffled off to daycare before I got started on the kitchen.
(Otherwise, he runs up, pushes or slaps my legs to get my attention as he is still very small and tiny and then when I bend down, he yanks the earbuds out of my ears. *sigh* )
It felt.. really.. good.
..but then my mind started wandering and I started thinking: But why do I need to always fill the mental void?
Why do I feel the need to read, to play with Baby Bun, to do SOMETHING rather than be able to just sit there in silence with my thoughts.
Is it a bad thing?
A good thing?
Or neither?
Right now, I can’t quite figure it out but it is almost like my brain NEEDS to be working on something, ANYTHING. I can’t just sit, and be.
Is it because I’m too wound up?
I’m probably thinking too much about this being a problem with me when maybe it isn’t one at all.
This is why I failed at any kind of meditation in yoga. I just wanted to start getting to the poses and working out.
I hate breathing exercises.
I hate meditating.
I hate ‘wasting time’ (in my head), but now I am wondering, and researching on breathing methods.
Is sitting around really just a waste of time? What kind of benefit could I get from something like meditation?
5 Comments
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
I will definitely read that, I will try my best to calm my brain down. I have so much I want to do…
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raluca
I understand your problem so well.
This is something I struggle with a lot and I know it’s unhealthy. My brain craves constant entertainment, I always need to hear something or do something or think about stuff.
My saving grace has been hiking with my dogs. It’s restful and it’s and instant mood booster.-
Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
And you are FORCED to be mentally quiet, right? I don’t have that. My brain wants to do all this stuff and when I rest I feel guilty.
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raluca
Taking care your yourself (resting, meditating, spa-days) should not make you feel guilty! Why is it more important to have a clean house than to have a clean brain?
If you need an extra incentive here it is: it’s not resting, it’s maintainance for your body. Once lost, health cannot be bought back cheaply and a lot of times, health begins with in the mind. When you have mental space you make better decisions for your body and your life.
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I started meditating this fall – 2 to 10 minutes at a time, once a day.
If I miss a few days, I can feel my mind filling up and know I need to take a few minutes to sit and breathe.
I highly recommend the book “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works”
It’s what got me hooked! A highly compelling guide and funny to boot!! I almost stopped during the first chapter because Harris sounds like an ass, but keep going!! A great read.