I am only just realizing how sexist my partner’s side of the family is.
My partner’s sister thinks I’m a lazy git — that I don’t do anything and I have to be forced to help out.
#%(#%) YOU is my response now.
(Just because you do not PHYSICALLY see me do things doesn’t mean that garbage empties itself, and dishes wash themselves.)
Her daughter doesn’t do anything….that is for CERTAIN. I have seen her sit at the dinner table while we (THE WOMEN ONLY mind you) clear the table and clean up. She just sits there, on her phone.
Doesn’t clear the table, clean, vacuum, do anything. Zero. NOTHING. Just her own laundry if that, but I have seen her mother do it all and iron it too.
Where she lives now, she leaves her grandmother to pick up after her and do it all, but does she see that or say anything?
Nothing.
She isn’t expected to help bring in things, put them away, carry things….
Her husband, also doesn’t lift a finger .
But this is because he is a man.
Apparently men sit around and do nothing in the house because that’s the way things are.
When the brother & family visit, his wife doesn’t cook, because he does (much like us), but I am judged far more harshly for not cooking because … I don’t know.
She doesn’t cook and I don’t either.
Why am I the lazy one? But yes, folks, just because I don’t cook, I am considered lazy as a woman. But only me, not the other one.
His brother, leaves a mess in the kitchen after cleaning and I clean it up, but his brother is seen as the best, and I’m lazy for not having done the cooking and the dishes as well.
She basically expects herself, me and the brother’s wife to do ALL the housework – setting the table, cleaning, washing, etc.
No one else should be doing anything but sitting around.
What kind of ass-backwards bull#%) is this?
If she wants to use the argument that the men have a right to sit around and do nothing because they bring money into the household (he makes 1000 EUR and she makes 500 EUR a month), then that argument doesn’t apply to me because I bring home half the bacon too.
So.. that gives me a free pass right? I’m just like a guy.
NO. Apparently not.
Housework is the domain of WOMEN, not men.
And frankly, I’m a little pissed off about the whole thing because I don’t like being told I am lazy when I am not and it is just your perception because you think women should do everything and I think it should be more equitable with the guys stepping up too, and furthermore just because you don’t see me doing the dishes, doesn’t mean I don’t do them — how and why do you think the kitchen stays so clean and pristine?
BECAUSE I AM THE ONE F*CKING CLEANING IT.
Who takes out the garbage that gets full from everyone?
I DO.
Who does all the laundry even the house stuff?
I DO.
Christ.. I’m really annoyed.
What kills me about all of this is that we are spending time and money, giving up income, and coming here to BE WITH FAMILY and they are only focusing on negatives, judging me, criticizing me, being harsh and then saying I don’t measure up to the French wife of his brother.
Are. You. Out. Of. Your. Minds.?
I’ve decided that I am not coming back next year, or any year after that. It will take me a long time to cool down from this, if ever, and frankly if they don’t want to see me as family then I am not.
I’ll stick “to my own kind” and create my own family if that has to be the case.
I used to think they were the better half of the family versus mine, but now I am seeing the opposite. At the very least, my mother and my brother are always going to have my back.
I’m more than sad at this point.
