Week of Money: 24/7 Sickness
??:?? — I wake up before him, and go through my massive To Do list in bed while I wait for Little Bun to wake up. He likes it when I am there when he wakes up, and always expects me. If he doesn’t see or feel me in the morning, it starts his entire day quite badly. I don’t mind being the security blanket, this will not last long, and I am trying to cherish it.
6:50 a.m. — He wakes up “late”. He told me last night he wanted to wake up at six a.m. so he would have time to watch videos before Daddy gets up with the sun. I tell him we can watch videos later on tonight, together, would he like that? He nodded eagerly, but then slept so late that he woke up late. He isn’t going to daycare today, but I have to work.
7:09 a.m. — I am wearing this stunning MM Lafleur Taylor dress today (it can do NO WRONG, TRUST ME), and my Ruth Bader Ginsburg necklace (that’s what I call it because she made it famous) from Stella & Dot called the Pegasus. They don’t sell it any more, but they have the matching bracelet I am eying….
12:08 p.m. — Lunch.
12:28 p.m. — Work.
5:06 p.m. — I leave work LATE. REALLY LATE for me. I mean I got there early, and I left very late. I end up getting stuck in traffic. ONE HOUR to move THREE CAR SPACES. I am really really not feeling it. Fuming, actually.
6:45 p.m. — Then I walk in the door an am greeted with a personal pan pizza. Little Bun says: MOMMY! MOMMY! Look! We made you a pizza today. This is your pizza, let me show you where your pizza is. Come and see! … he is so excited. And it makes my night better. It really does.
6:59 p.m. — My partner goes out for a quick errand. He is stocking up on eggs because everyone buys SO MANY EGGS during the holidays that they always stock out or run short. NOT THIS YEAR!!!
7:40 p.m. — Out of the blue — Little Bun says to me in the bedroom: “Mommy.. I will love you more than anything, no matter what, even if you are angry, and I get angry, and we are both sad, and you will also love me more than anything in the whole world, always always, no matter what..”… how can you heart not melt? I say this to him all the time – how much I love him, how no matter what he says or does, I will love him, even if I am angry, sad, whatever. Even if he is screaming, I still love him and that love stays strong and steady, no matter what happens, so that he feels emotionally secure that my love is not a token that can be taken away any time I am mad. I love him even if I am angry. And even if HE is angry, I still love him. I am glad he is absorbing it, and I will continue saying it to him until I die which sounds dramatic but it isn’t because it is true. Everyone needs to hear it, even adults.
8:46 p.m. — Vegetable Soup. Tom and Jerry. Then bedtime. He brushes his teeth, and ensures yoghurt for the next day.
??:?? — I wake up a little tired but I can’t sleep any more, I know I will get screwed for night sleep if I do.
6:00 a.m. — After his milk, we play Starbucks for Life. He LOVES seeing what “sticker” he gets, and wants me to get more and more plays. I don’t mind, this makes him happy, and I have a Starbucks credit anyway.
7:15 a.m. — I get ready for work. I am actually staying home today, but I cannot stay in the apartment as I have back to back calls until noon, so I pretend to go to work, and I go into the lobby with my laptop and go on calls all morning. This is way less stressful than staying at home with Little Bun, screaming or getting mad that he is interrupting my call to try and play with me, AND my partner is 100% unable to help with this because Little Bun just gets WORSE if he tries to step in. It is better if I just remove myself completely. I also plan on going out at around noon to get some errands done, have a little snack, and then come home early when my afternoon is freer without conference calls.
7:45 a.m. — I wear jeans as I am not really going to work. I also bought a new rose gold metallic watch strap for this beautiful watch because the silver metal strap I bought for it, was tarnishing/staining my wrist!! GROSS. I tossed that POC into the garbage, and picked up this very reasonably priced under $15, Ezco rose gold leather strap for 20mm watches. It is STUNNING. I was about to drop $50 at Fossil for a strap, but I didn’t need to. I even love the beautiful cutout and curve on the watch to make it look more elegant, less bulky…
8:00 a.m. — Calls until noon. Back to back.
12:10 p.m. — I finish my last call for the morning – how can anyone get any work done? And I head off to run errands. By run errands, I mean eat another Starbucks turkey stuffing sandwich (officially obsessed), and get a piece of apple cake because …. I really want one. $4.35
2:04 p.m. — I had to wait until 2 p.m. to make a purchase because otherwise, I don’t get the extra play in Starbucks for Life for Little Bun to tap. He wants extra plays, and I will get them for him. <3
3:15 p.m. — Home, I greet Little Bun, and snuggle his sweet little boy-ness. I cannot believe he is almost 6. Where did time go? He was just a tiny newborn the other day…..
5:50 p.m. — I do all the dishes, then feed him soup.
6:25 p.m. — I do two loads of laundry. I am getting this very strange, oily scent on my lounge clothes. I wonder if it is the box I am keeping the clothes in, because NOTHING ELSE is getting this disgusting scent…. and I have tried soaking the clothes in white vinegar which helped a little, but the stench was still there.
9:40 p.m. — Time for bed. Remember, I say “time for bed” but then it is NONSENSE until he actually sleeps. He spends time winding down by making “cherry pies” for me, out of sock balls and “smelly” socks inside. It is adorable. Do not get me wrong. It is cute AF but I am TIRED. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.
??:?? — WHY IS HE NOT SLEEPING. OMG.
??:?? — Nosebleed.
??:?? — Washroom run.
??:?? — Disturbed again by night screaming.
??:?? — WTF time is this. I know it is early. I am so.. so.. tired.
4:03 a.m. — ARRRGG ARE YOU KIDDING ME. He is up and he is not going back to sleep. He definitely wants to be awake. He won’t sleep. He must have over napped yesterday or something.
7:15 a.m. — The morning is a blur of me shushing him. My partner is studying for his finals and he needs his sleep, he has been working late every night and not napping during the day either, so we are ALL GRUMPY. Little Bun and I watch Tom and Jerry together, I feed him a banana and pasta for breakfast, and I just drink a green tea.
7:30 a.m. — I leave for work. I am wearing my staple outfit – a silk blouse I got in Paris, some basic navy pants and my secondhand Hermès boots <3… Before I go, Little Bun hovers around me – Mommy, what time are you coming home? … I reply: 16:00 (he likes military time)…. he adds: OR EARLIER right? …. Yes.. sometimes I come home earlier, I tell him. He nods, and eyes the clock. “OK, after my nap!”
It is kind of surreal to think that your day affects another little person’s day so much. He plans his day around me – around waking up, when he can play, watch videos, eat food, nap, and then when I am coming home is centered around when he wakes up as well (usually around 15:00)… It is both endearing and exhausting to be the center of someone’s entire little world. I’m trying to enjoy and cherish this but it is so incredibly hard when you are running on empty fumes.
8:08 a.m. — Work and calls all morning. My whole day is meetings. Useless f-ing meetings. Lots of documents. Reading….
12:16 p.m. — I leave for lunch. I am treating myself to these Starbucks turkey sandwiches because I LIKE THEM A LOT and I have a credit to use which is great. Treats. Treats on a budget. $0
3:45 p.m. — Home, Little Bun greets me happily.
4:56 p.m. — I feed him soup and ask him if he wants to read his new machines book while he eats. He shakes his head and says: Maybe… we could do long division? … He has the cutest way of asking that is so polite. Whatever he wants, he says: Maybe we could / Maybe I could … I have no idea where he learned this.
5:17 p.m. —Apparently my division is not long enough. I tried to give him 18 divided by 3, and he said: NO. I want LONG division. This is SHORT, the answer is 6. O_o … so I have to now do mental math, multiply up the numbers I know to add zeros at the end (56 becomes 560), and tack on an extra few numbers to make it a divisible number.
5:46 p.m. — Soup done (he eats this stuff SO SLOWLY…), he eats his yoghurt like a banshee (this, goes in seconds however), we play games. Pretty much GAMES he made up that I have to learn really weird rules to – No Mommy NOT LIKE THIS, like THIS, and then you do THIS but not like that, like this…. My brain is really truly exhausted. I cannot think. I woke up at 4, I had a full day of work and now I am a butler-jester hybrid to a small bossy miniature version of myself trying to make me play games he made up in his head that I have zero idea of what the rules are.
6:07 p.m. — I AM TIRED. I AM GOING TO SLEEP.
6:09 p.m. — OK no I am not. Little Bun has other plans for me. He wants videos. And he wants to cuddle, with me, at the back, with my arm around him, while explaining Tom and Jerry to me. I can do this.
8:22 p.m. — OK I am flagging. I need to sleep. My eyes are drooping, I am going to fall into bed. *YAWN*
??:?? — “Mommyyyyy. I AM COLD.” …. “Well stop bloody kicking off your blankets then.“… I cuddle close to him, wrap him in my 4 warm blankets to warm him up, and then scoot away.
??:?? — “Mommy I think I am awake.“… “MOMMMY…” …. “MOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE“….. omg. I call out to my partner who just got up to get the milk so I can lie here and snatch a few more half dozed moments. He is getting up early to study, he has an exam tomorrow.
6:10 a.m. — Ok. We “slept in”. I get up, make some tea, blearily stare at this whirling dervish, talking nonstop. I can’t even comprehend what he is saying, my brain is all tired, jumbled, slow.
7:19 a.m. — Hustled off to daycare. I come back, feeling the weight of responsibility lift off my shoulders. Thank goodness. He is out with them, going to go to the park and get some fresh air and play, and I can just think in silence.
8:02 a.m. — I spend the morning translating my book into French, as per the request of a sweet French-Canadian. <3 Plug plug, it has an English version (obviously), and has SCREENSHOTS and STEP BY STEP guides on what to do.
11:37 a.m. — I finally take a break (have to also publish the book on Amazon), and I am about to get ready to head out for the afternoon to get stuff done.
12:15 p.m. — I score a free bakery item from Starbucks for Life. Looks like Momma is getting a slice ‘o cake!!!! $0
2:30 p.m. — I hop on a call with a young working mother looking for career advice, and she comes out of it completely relieved with a new plan. FYI, I do offer consultations, pricing here. I am not famous, I am not a career coach as my job, but I know I give a new perspective, support and solid advice to anyone looking for an outside, third-party opinion into their area. She’s going to go through my advice, write a recap of it, and I will post it as one of my other Success Stories of other people whom I have casually coached over the years.
4:28 p.m. — I go and pick up Little Bun who has the BEST TIME. They are amazed that he knows military time (and prefers it), and can read/do math, so they’ve recruited him to be their helper in the class. I love it – I know little kids who are helpers at a young age, do build a sense of confidence that they are capable, and independent, which is everything I want him to learn that is difficult to teach. I want him to have self-esteem and part of that as silly as it sounds, comes from being able to help adults do tasks.
It makes them feel grown-up and responsible, all things that I think we are parents have lost sight of in many ways. We treat our kids like our friends but also our very cherished ones, which means we don’t let them lift a finger to do ‘hard work’, and we put them on a pedestal. Kids like to feel useful too, just like adults. It builds a strength in them no one can take away.
5:45 p.m. — At home, we get stuff done. I put away his lunch things to wash, I start laundry, vacuum a little, ask him to tidy up his area, etc.
6:04 p.m. — I snuggle with him and watch Tom and Jerry (these are funny but violent…. I make sure to warn him that these are not real, and these are cartoons. These things would not happen in real life… and someone would be VERY hurt if you did that to them.)
6:14 p.m. — “Mommy did I eat my soup yet?” … “No“… “I think I need to eat it now“. He self-regulates and eats his vegetable soups because he knows he will get yoghurt afterwards. 😛
8:14 p.m. — I clean all the dishes, time for bed. I am dragging. DRAGGING.
8:08 a.m. — I start working. Today will be a long day as we have a work dinner as well. I normally avoid these things because I do not like small talk about work-related items, and I feel like I have to be “on” and VERY CAREFUL not to say anything politically incorrect. However, I want to go to this one because this particular client is a little less buttoned up, and I feel like we are more kindred spirits. Plus my team lead is so sweet and I am sure she’ll appreciate if I drive and carpool with everyone to get there (it is 45 minutes away).
12:08 p.m. — Lunch – I chat with a fellow colleague and lament about how other women my age don’t like to invest / talk about it, and I can only meet guys, usually older, whom I can learn from and exchange ideas, like him.
5:05 p.m. — I drive everyone out to the restaurant an hour away (it is in between our two cities), and I am happy to carpool because I don’t drink, therefore am the perfect designated driver, and the other two people are exhausted (my lead), who didn’t really want to drive. She just wanted to ride in a car and be at peace.
7:15 p.m. — At the restaurant, WE FINALLY ORDER. OMG. I was about to bang a fork and knife on a table.
8:25 p.m. — We have good conversation with very little stalling. It wasn’t until nearer the END of the meal that people starting opening up about real conversations, not superficial or work stuff. Every time I am at a work dinner I make it a point NOT to discuss work. LEAVE IT THERE. Let’s connect on a personal level.
9:40 p.m. — One of the best remarks I got from one of the people there was a woman who was in the same school as the Montreal Polytechnique massacre. She said that just this week, she thought a lot about how she became an engineer, and she was struggling her first year. It wasn’t until she went to a career counsellor and she asked him for advice, that he said: Mademoiselle, it is not ever woman who can become an engineer .… that it lit a fire under her and she said – I WILL SHOW YOU, and graduated with honours. All us women in STEM are under the same solidarity together.
10:10 p.m. — The food was okay, it was a grilled salad with some cashews (weird), a little pizza with bacon (not bad), a soup with mussels (the best by far), and a salmon tartare. Our dessert were little KitKats and Smarties, etc. I AM READY TO GO.
11:28 p.m. — This is the latest I have ever been out. I am so incredibly tired but happy. This was one of the better work dinners I have been to, and the conversation was good.
??:?? — Little Bun sits up, crawls on top of me, sits on my stomach and says: “Mommy. Did you eat the pizza I made for you last night?” … and I reply: “No, I did not. Mommy came home too late. I will eat it for breakfast or lunch.” … and he tells me: “Eat it for breakfast! I will show you where it is.” Then I happily chat with him about this pizza. I thank him, I ask him how he and Daddy made it, what toppings he used, how he rolled out the pizza, how many slices he and Daddy ate, etc.
6:00 a.m. — I set him up with videos, answer a few Instagram messages – it is like a messenger service, more informal, and very cool. If you ever want to chat with me informally, you are more than welcome to. My handle is @saverspender… and I am always, ALWAYS tickled pink when I get a DM out of the blue from a reader who starts with: I have been following you since your Fabulously Broke days……. because that feels like a LIFETIME ago! A decade at least. <3
I also post ALL of my style photos there. I am not so diligent doing it on the blog, but I ALWAYS, ALWAYS post them on Instagram.
.. Then we can chat about anything – I share things on my Stories (snippets of my life, my voice, even Little Bun makes a voice appearance on occasion), and I of course, post different content / new content 3X daily on the Instagram itself. (I know, don’t say it. I am insane for taking on so much of this work.) Examples of today in my Stories (they disappear after 24 hours):
You just need to sign up for an account, have a telephone, and you don’t even need to post anything and you can keep your account private if you just want to lurk / follow people quietly. I did that for a long time before I started this IG account, because I just liked following people I “knew” online or even in real life.
You can even just follow my own IG hashtag: #savespendsplurgemoney for only the money posts:
And I only recently started #savespendsplurgestyle for my outfits and I will have to retroactively fix my hashtags to get all my style photos there and outfits of the day (OOTD). 🙂
OH! And #savespendsplurgeeats for my food because .. that’s all I post about – Money, Style, Eats.
Anyway, just a small plug for Instagram in general and how much I am enjoying the platform 🙂 .. and more ways you can get in touch with me. I’d love to hear from you.
7:59 a.m. — I sit in the car after I drop Little Bun at playgroup with Christmas cards to distribute. He is so sweet and so excited, he asked me: Mommy what bag are you bringing today? I want to put the Christmas cards in there and my banana for a snack. (OMG SO ORGANIZED).
Then as we were about to leave, he said: Mommy. Did you also bring my inside shoes? Are you sure you have my Christmas cards? ..
He is becoming organized and careful the way we are, because that is the way we structure our lives mentally and I am happy he is picking up this trait. I hate being late, and forgetting things that are important so I always repeat to myself the list of things I need to get the stuff done for the day. I want him to learn how to structure his life from an early age because that is one of the things I credit to being successful – I am ORGANIZED.
9:15 a.m. — I sit in the car and work. I don’t mind being in the building but I get distracted and in my car, I am in my own mobile office.
12:01 p.m. — I pick him up and he is beyond happy.
12:28 p.m. — We head home.
12:56 p.m. — I get his lunch ready for him, and down for a nap right away.
1:20 p.m. — I log in and work on the blog and other things, I really need to shore up on posts so that I can breathe and not freak out when the year .
2:49 p.m. — He is NOT napping. I bring him his milk. Early bedtime for all tonight.
4:27 p.m. — Work done. We snuggle and watch videos together. He likes it best when he sits on my lap in the bed, curled up and cuddly, while we watch violent Tom and Jerry episodes. SO VIOLENT. He keeps telling me things like — Mommy, if the kittens get their bums cut off, it doesn’t grow back and they would be hurt!.… for everything. Going through the windows, it doesn’t matter, he repeats to me how this is NOT real and it is NOT reality, and someone would REALLY get hurt, and I keep repeating that yes, that is true.
The only time I have to modify my statement is when he sees a kitten drinking milk from a dish and he exclaims: THAT ISN’T REAL! Kittens can’t drink from dishes! ... and I have to explain I am only talking about the very violent / outrageous actions, which I suppose for a child are all as plausible as a kitten drinking from a dish. He has no frame of reference, not enough life experience, as it were.
5:45 p.m. — We play a new game he invented called “Ducky Maze” where I put a rubber ducky on a mat that looks like it has roads on it, and then he tells me the direction the duck should go to do things like get on a schoolbus to go to school, or go back to her home to eat, or visit Fish to bring him some soup because he is sick (yes, these are real life scenarios LOL)… and he loves it. He names it as one of his favourite activities during the day when we do our nighttime chats, and I ask him what he loved about today.
6:04 p.m. — I feed him vegetable stew, and then wash all the dishes and leave them to dry. I am dragging today. I am so incredibly tired.
7:28 p.m. — Time for bed. I just lie there, and we go through our new nightly ritual, which used to be explaining the outside world slowly winding down to sleep, to now asking him what he loved about today while he runs around the bedroom, listing everything he loved about today. Sometimes I get extra stuff out of him, like how yesterday Daddy apparently broke a yoghurt bottle… and how it was a terrible day because then there was no yoghurt to eat. 🙂 But generally speaking he lists out everything he enjoyed about the day.
??:?? — Mommy… is it time to wake up yet? OMG. NO. IT IS FOUR AM GO BACK TO SLEEP.
??:?? — Mommy? … I’m awake now. I respond back: But Mommy wants to sleep more .…. and he replies with a very confused tone: But I am awake. … implying that if he’s awake, I am too. Sigh.
5:00 a.m. — #(#%@*$@… I am very tired. I feel like I am reaching sleep deprivation, not just fatigue. Constant wakeups in the middle of the night, lack of actual time sleeping, all of this adds up.
7:59 a.m. — I managed to keep a lid on him while my partner slept. We had a fight yesterday because I was doing dishes and then Little Bun screamed, and I snapped (sleep deprivation will do that to you), and I screamed at him. I am not proud of it, but I know why I did it, I am VERY TIRED. My partner and I fought because he told me to stop screaming, and what if he was hurt, bla bla bla… and I was so frustrated that I was basically taking care of him the whole time because of his stupid exams, that I screamed back. Anyway, it turned into a thing. We got it out of our systems.
8:08 a.m. — My partner goes and runs errands, and I start our day. He helps me package up items to ship (he turns on the printer, checks the label is clear, etc), and then I vacuum, he helps me do laundry just putting the wet stuff into the dryer (I hand it to him, so I am basically doing the work, but he needs to feel like he is helping too).
10:25 a.m. — We play a new game I accidentally invented called: Catching Little Bun. I sit on the bed, and I grab his legs and pull him toward me as he squeals happily, and I say: I CAUGHT A BABY! … and then I hug him very tight to my chest, and make him answer questions, which are passcodes to freedom. My questions are things like: “How much do you love your Mommy?“ … LOL … and if he doesn’t answer correctly, I hug tight until he does. He asked me to catch him 9 times for his freedom, so we did 9 catches and release questions, and he giggles like a maniac.
12:28 p.m. — We have lunch of bread and cheese – to get him to speak more in his second language, I am asking him to ask his father and then translate back to me in English. So far it is working well, and then I thank and praise him for helping me understand what Daddy said.
3:28 p.m. — I go out and drop off the packages, then end up buying a slice of apple cake, eating it, scrolling through Instagram and letting my brain decompress. I find that my issue is letting myself relax. With whatever free time I have, I automatically default to working on my blog or on social media, and that is starting to be relentless. I need to start forcing myself to have time to myself, by simply not working. CHOOSING not to work, as it were. $4.35
7:17 p.m. — I get home, and after dinner we play games he makes up – he likes to also take our handkerchiefs, and make blankets for his rubber animals, or to “bake cakes” for me with hidden surprises like “smelly” socks inside, with a sock cherry on top… he gets very creative with very little, which makes me even more resolved to not buy him toys. He already has plenty of toys around him.
8:25 p.m. — He tells me in the dark, at night that his favourite activity of the day was Catching a Baby, from earlier. I make a mental note to do it more often.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.