6:07 a.m. — We commence the day with Baby Bun checks the calendar and starts squealing: “NO SCHOOL! NO WANT MONDAY! TODAY NOT MONDAY! Stay home with Daddy?????” You and me both kid. “No one likes Mondays“, I tell him grimly. I remind him that to have fun weekend days with Mommy, we have to let Mommy work & make money so that Mommy can pay for the train because the train is not free. He nods and repeats (even during the week) that the “Train is not free! Mommy work to make money.”
6:09 a.m. — I get a matcha tea started and Baby Bun drinks his milk. He comes out upset that I didn’t wait for him to do the tea and he wanted to pour the chia seeds in there to sprout and engorge in size. I finally calm him down and let him do it.
6:29 a.m. — I get him ready for school and each time he starts his: “No school stay at home with Mommy?” speech, I shut it down with “…the train is not free. Do you like the train? Then Mommy has to go to work.”
6:59 a.m. — We get into the car and get to the preschool with very few protests if any.
7:05 a.m. — I firmly sit him down with the educator who bribes him with cereal. “Treat???“, Baby Bun looks up hopefully at her as she picks him up and gives him a handful of whole wheat Cheerios. I don’t even give AF. If he is quiet and thinks Cheerios only exist at preschool and it will keep him QUIET and not cry, I’m all for it. “Do it. Give the boy Cheerios“, I cry as I leave, with Baby Bun cry-free.
7:35 a.m. — I head into the office and struggle with an issue for 4 hours before calling uncle and asking someone for help.
11:15 a.m. — They .. don’t actually help me in the end, but it somehow magically resolves itself and the problem disappears. If I didn’t have screenshots, I’d say I was nuts.
11:35 a.m. — I take a break and walk out to a grocery store nearby and stock up on almond & almond/coconut milks. I want to see if I can replace regular milk in my teas. Yes it all has oil in it in place of animal fat but I’m not keen on these tiny little coffee/tea individual milk cups with goodness knows what kind of “milk” inside. Plus I will cut down on waste and feel better for half of my tea drinking (if not, all if I can make matcha at the office). $9.54
11:55 a.m. — I head back into the office only to realize I forgot my badge. I wait like a creeper until someone lets me in. I start listening to The Mommy Tax from a new podcast I am trying out, and am surprised that high earning women (1% is at an income level that starts at $225,000) get boosts and have lots of positive feedback related to being a mother. Maybe that is why I earn what I do – I’m in the small percentage of those who makes a lot even if no one knows what I actually make at work but still. I earn a lot when I do work, but as I don’t work full-time my income averages out to much lower salary. I have no idea what to call my income.
12:55 p.m. — I suddenly get bombarded with all of these replies I had been waiting on for a week and I have way more work than I can handle. When it rains it pours amirite? I work without breaking until I desperately need the bathroom.
4:55 p.m. — I check the time and am horrified it is already time to go and I kind of want to stay and finish up. I make a note of where I left off and what I have to do so I don’t forget when I get into the office tomorrow. Maybe I can get in early and leave early.
5:15 p.m. — I book it to Baby Bun’s preschool where he is playing happily. He gets up to run towards me and I see a HUGE wet spot forming on his bum. Groan. He was having so much fun he didn’t want to go inside and pee. A little girl holds out her hand and I encourage him to high-five her, which he does. Every little interaction counts, I say. He still doesn’t like to play with others and is more of a lone wolf (much like we both were as children…. also somewhat owing to the fact that we were bullied as well).
5:21 p.m. — I change him and remind him that he has to definitely try and keep his underwear dry and tell them when he needs to go. We grab a snack on the way out (a rice cake) which I lovingly call: “yummy yet tasteless styrofoam” (it totally is). I eat the leftover of his snack (grapes) while sitting on a park bench with him, and we get in the car to go home after he is done.
5:30 p.m. — We stop by the park and I remind him that we are doing this special treat at his favourite park because he DID NOT CRY when Mommy left him at preschool today. He plays happily in the sand with his toys for half an hour before I stare up at the darkening skies and hustle him back into the car AFTER cleaning the sand out of his shoes and clothes.
6:17 p.m. — Inside, I put everything away, and start on my makeup removal routine and wash my face. I then start to do my list of reminders from the office such as:
- Grab dress for dry cleaning (I have a $10 coupon to use)
- Enter amounts into my budgeting tool that I spent yesterday for his underwear, treats, and so on
6:32 p.m. — Make a reminder that I MUST pick up The Kissing Hand from the library or else the book gets returned and I have to re-order it from them again!! I finish my list, dump my dress into my bag for cleaning.
6:52 p.m. — I make some quick soba noodles for Baby Bun and I, and then do all the dishes as he plays in his house and with puzzles.
7:48 p.m. — I go through the apartment, picking up little things here and there and organizing the place. I finally convince Baby Bun to go get his night underwear on with his father while I do my nighttime facial routine.
8:11 p.m. — Baby Bun runs into the bathroom and demands to feed me pills — one BioSil and one fermented cod liver. He loves opening the bottles and feeding me each one. He gets such a kick out of watching me take some water and swallow them.
8:59 p.m. — My partner sleepily mentions he will stay home tomorrow and it means Baby Bun stays in too — he works fine with him at home but when I’m at home, you can BET he gets dropped off at pre-school first. We talk about how the whole world is now going to sleep and he falls asleep readily.
5:07 a.m. — Baby Bun at the crack of dawn. He had terrible nightmares last night and I kept having to pull him in and cuddle him tight to stop his panicked squeals. Before I pulled him close, he says softly and slightly anxiously: “Mommyyyyyy….” but completely calms down as I hugged him close and whispered that I was here. I was ABSOLUTELY this Mommy cat all night as Baby Bun had nightmares.
5:10 a.m. — He gets his milk and I fail to get him to go back to sleep and he pulls me up and out of bed.
5:11 a.m. — I decide since it is so early I’ll do a mask and slather my face in the last of the Fresh Umbrian Clay sample.
5:21 a.m. — Baby Bun confidently questions and answers himself when he sees my face with: “Why Mommy face so green? It is because it is full of commotion!” — his favourite word for “noise” from the book “Do you see a mouse“. He likes to Q&A himself about things that happen around him. Commotion, indeed.
5:23 a.m. — I go to make matcha green tea and leave videos of him playing in the background from when he was a baby — he loves seeing himself as a Baby and calls himself as a baby on the screen his “baby sister” — only because of the book we read called The Boy with Two Belly Buttons who has a baby sister named Anya.
5:45 a.m. — I track down my receipt for the package I mailed to Mamie. I download the Canada Post app (nice!!) and scan the code. Hmm. Why hasn’t it been delivered? I’m concerned now. I check and see that it is stuck in customs it seems. Figures. If it doesn’t get delivered I will cry. I was hoping it would get there before the rest of his family arrived for their summer vacations. They’ve all been eager to meet Baby Bun but the French only take vacations around end of July / August.
5:49 a.m. — Today I plan on going to the library to work since I need to pick up Baby Bun’s book anyway. I charge the laptop to full and plan on leaving early today to make the most of it. Whoa. 6 already. I better start getting ready. I also want to go downtown today and finally pick up my altered dress, pants and return those Lululemon pants. Big plans.
6:11 a.m. — I get ready and head out. I decide to wear the outfit I chose but forgot that the pleated bottom doesn’t fit into the skirt and bunches out awkwardly. I need to find more regular t shirts or blouses that fit tightly around my torso so that they can get tucked into high waisted skirts.
6:45 a.m. — I go to leave and forget my lunch so I double back before closing the door and grab my lunch. Baby Bun is unsure about my leaving and sobs bloody murder. He really doesn’t want to go to preschool with Mommy and he wants to stay at home but with Mommy not Daddy. He woke up super early today so he is a bit sensitive and grumpy.
6:47 a.m. — He kisses me goodbye multiple times, pulling on my hand and whining a bit trying to wind his body around my leg like deadweight to drag me back into the house. I finally manage to kiss him goodbye and his father comes out and takes him by the hand away from the door. As I close and lock it, I hear him wail.
6:58 a.m. — Damn. I get into the car, worried but not worried. I know he is fine but my partner has to suffer.
7:15 a.m. — I get into work, ponder a Starbucks and end up deciding not to bother. I want to try out my new almond and coconut “milk”.
8:35 a.m. — I end up working for an hour before even getting a hot tea because there were issues I couldn’t wait to resolve.
8:39 a.m. — I finally get my tea and NOPE this almond and coconut “milk” is gross. OK. Well. I’ll suck it up and drink it but it curdled in my tea. Maybe I need the alternative milk creamers full of oils and substitutes… sigh. Why is this so hard? First world problems for sure. I’m deciding actively NOT to eat the abundant food around me that I can afford and there are people starving worldwide. Damn it.
8:52 a.m. — I get back to work and kind of am craving a pasta. Maybe if I eat my meal and manage to complete a lot, I can buy it for lunch.
12:27 p.m. — I power through everything nonstop and work work work work.
12:28 p.m. — I get ready to go return my things and then realize I forgot my Lululemon pants at home to return. Crap. I will do it tomorrow. I have a ton of stuff to get done today anyway.
12:36 p.m. — I continue working and eating my lunch.
1:12 p.m. — I go out for a quick vegetarian pizza after eating my lunch and still feeling hungry. $5
1:22 p.m. — The pizza was okay. It wasn’t great, the dough was too soft. I make a cup of spearmint tea and drink it.
3:45 p.m. — I leave early. I got in very early and didn’t even leave for a lunch or anything, so I’ve been overworking. I need to make sure that tomorrow I head off to get my stuff done during lunch to “take back” my time.
3:51 p.m. — I check the traffic and see it BACKED UP. Luckily I know all the shortcuts and take a special way home instead of fighting with the way everyone knows and uses.
4:15 p.m. — At the library….. and I forgot my Library Card. DAMN IT. OK. So.. the book goes back, but it is SUCH A GOOD ONE. I may just end up buying it for Baby Bun. This is kind of annoying they only hold the book for 5 days here rather than 7, I mean give us a break, some of us are busy working parents who forget a lot. I re-reserve the book. I’ll try again to get it.
5:04 p.m. — I continue watching Daughters of Destiny (HOOKED. OBSESSED.) I want them to succeed so much.
5:35 p.m. — I reluctantly shut down my computer and leave. I REALLY REALLY need to do my stuff tomorrow and return things.
6:07 p.m. — At home, Baby Bun is already seated and having appetizers (yes.. APPETIZERS). He waves to me from his seat, and gives a big grin, and I smile right back. I love him so much.
6:20 p.m. — A light dinner of bread and cheese, recounting our days to each other, and then I do all the dishes.
7:30 p.m. — I get caught up in reading Padma Lakshmi’s biography – Love, Loss and What we Ate – vivid and gripping doesn’t begin to cover this biography / memoir. I had no idea something like endometritis for women existed, and I hope if you have the same pains and symptoms, you go and see a doctor immediately to get diagnosed. It is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE condition and the earlier it is caught the better. My heart went out to her. By the way, her daughter Krishna is such a beauty, and Padma’s off-camera style is killer:
8:52 p.m. — OK WE REALLY NEED TO GET TO BED. I wanted to just keep reading and reading….
Spent: $5 – Regretting this pizza
??:?? — Last night was a nightmare. He woke up screaming with a huge nosebleed and I couldn’t stop it with just wiping it. I needed to use hydrogen peroxide up his nose and I wrangled him into the bathroom, screaming and crying and couldn’t manage to hold him still enough to do it. Annoyed, I bark at my partner to WAKE UP AND COME HELP ME. He comes in immediately and I hold him tight in a hug grip while my partner puts a pad with hydrogen peroxide up his nose to stop the bleeding (you hear a little hiss as it interacts with the blood which is kind of cool). My partner normally isn’t so lazy but he has probably noticed when he comes to help he makes it worse and Baby Bun screams even more which frustrates me and makes me yell at him to leave us alone and let me calm him down. This is not a good thing to do but in the heat of the moment and sleep deprived you have no other alternative in your mind. Anyway.
??:?? — We all end up going back to sleep after I change him out of bloody clothes (he won’t sleep with them on), and I don’t even care that it probably looks like a Steven King Carrie novel all over the sheets and myself. Don’t even care. I know I’m covered in his blood. I try to go back to sleep but then my brain starts running about family, work, finances, life… and I can’t stop. Frustrating. It is like I’m developing insomnia. I finally fall asleep but after what seems like an eternity.
6:00 a.m. — I wake up without feeling fatigued (maybe my body is used to this now). Baby Bun wakes up 2 minutes after me with his no school speech again. I manage to get him out of the house with the lure of some Cheerios at pre-school. Whatever it takes. #LikeABoss
6:29 a.m. — I don’t love my outfit today. I added a belt but then stupidly took it off, it was comfier but I felt like I was in a muumuu all day and it made me feel strange. I should have left the belt on. Baby Bun whines and whines and I punish him with time outs twice before he stops. I repeat that he has no choice.
7:09 a.m. — We head off to preschool and work and he doesn’t cry (again) as I leave because he is seduced by the siren call of forbidden boxed cereal.
7:11 a.m. — I get into the office way early and remember to shake up my coconut and almond milk before adding it but it does nothing for my tea as it curdles in the most unpleasant way. I’m not buying this stuff again or I’m going to buy an alternative dairy creamer meant for coffee to see if it helps. First, finish all the milk I bought.
10:15 a.m. — I work so efficiently that I feel like I can sneak out for a quick break. I beeline for Starbucks around the corner and am pleasantly surprised it is Double Star Day. That’s why it is so packed! I’m only going to come if it is Double Star Day, I decide. $5
12:00 p.m. — I work all the way to lunch, trying to catch up on everything. A colleague is on vacation so I’m handling two workloads, which I don’t mind. The day goes by so fast. I eat my vegan lunch, finish my cold soba noodles (also vegan) and make a cup of spearmint tea.
12:19 p.m. — I put everything away then book it to the nearest couch where I spend a pleasant half an hour reading my latest addiction that kept me up last night.
12:59 p.m. — I regretfully close the chapter and head back to work. I go all the way until it is time to go to my facial. I’ve been looking forward to it all day!
4:11 p.m. — There, she helps calm and treat my angry Whack-a-Mole acne breakout (you know where you relieve one and another pops up) and I tip her.It is expensive, but I think it is a splurge I can afford now that I’m working. That, and I love spending on my new UNDERGROUND parking spot. Winter will be a cinch. $200.41
5:27 p.m. — I go and pick up Baby Bun a bit later than usual. His eagle eyes spot me and he runs to the edge of the fence reaching for me. We get inside and I grab all of his stuff. As I walk to the garage I realize I forgot my leather jacket. Oh well. Will get it tomorrow. I make a quick note to do it.
5:30 p.m. — Baby Bun suddenly plants his feet and refuses to get into the car. He wants to “go out” and play and do anything but go home. Commence a full hour of shrieking, crying, kicking, bucking his body, sobbing bloody murder.
5:45 p.m. — I manage to get him into his car seat but can only do up the chest latch. I can’t get the other shoulder strap done because he is kicking and bucking so hard, I can’t force it down without help. I am pretty zen through this (tuned it out) and think: Eff it. I drive without him properly buckled in.
6:11 p.m. — Halfway while stuck in parking lot traffic he starts crying for “Mama maama want mama want to see mama“, and I pull over flash my hazards and take him out.
6:22 p.m. — He calms down a bit but refuses the car seat again. I try for 5 minutes and then give up and force him back in, screaming. I still can’t get the shoulder straps buckled to the latch in between his legs. EFF IT. I leave it, he screams the whole way home. The. Entire. Gat. Dam. Car. Ride. I flip to the classical channel and turn up the volume to drown him out. I’m sure everyone can hear and see his physically bucking and kicking the back of the seat so hard that the ENTIRE CAR IS ROCKING BACK AND FORTH like I’m driving through a hearty windstorm. I’m surprisingly calm. I don’t know where this zen is from either from a complete: “I have zero effs to give, let’s let this play out” sort of attitude or my facial has calmed me down and made me a zen master. No idea. I don’t say anything and he screams all the way right until I pull into the garage.
6:42 p.m. — Then he stops. Red-faced, pink eyes, snotty-nosed, I don’t scold him and I just pretend it didn’t happen, and keep a calm cheerful voice all the way up.
6:52 p.m. — We eat dinner of cheese and some olive bread and he plays with puzzles and watches himself as a baby on my laptop.
7:51 p.m. — He pretty much acts quite well the entire night except for a little mini outburst that earned him some time out in a room (I hold the door closed and now he has stopped fighting the door handle and thinks it is “stuck” so he just doesn’t open it and I go lie down to calm down). He wanted me to stop using my own laptop to do a few things (literally 3 minutes) to make sure I remembered everything and shoved my hands away even though his videos were playing in the corner. I finally got angry and gave him a timeout because I asked him to WAIT and I’d be done but he kept pulling my fingers off the keyboard. I punish him in the room, leave the door closed but don’t stand there.
7:56 p.m. — My partner goes and rescues him after 5 minutes, sensing the Mount Mommy Volcano is about to erupt. He calms him down but Baby Bun is only concerned that I forgive him. I calmly take him (I am a sucker for his tear stained little cry face), and sit him on a chair facing me, hugging him tight and kissing him. As I do it, I explain calmly that it makes Mommy upset and sad when Baby Bun doesn’t listen. Mommy has her laptop and this is not Baby Bun’s. I explain how he has to wait sometimes and listen to Mommy and finally tell him that on the way home he made Mommy very sad with his tantrum in the car.
8:16 p.m. — He nods, leans against my chest, arms tight around my neck, and repeats softly that kicking my chair was not good and he has to behave and calms down immediately.
8:56 p.m. —The rest of the night he slept well (probably from all the damn screaming using up his energy) save for another small nosebleed around 4 a.m. which I just wiped up instead of forcing hydrogen peroxide up his nostrils.
Spent: $200.41 – Well worth it, also got a mineral tinted sunscreen
3:49 a.m. — I wake up at 3:49 a.m. Exactly. I can’t go back to sleep. My brain is going a million miles an hour trying to remember everything which I’ve already noted on my ToDo lists but feel like I’m not on top of things so I worry. I hope I’m not developing insomnia. It is too early to be up and pretend that I can read or surf the web. I am pretty sure I left my e-reader at work anyway.
3:50 a.m. — I go back to bed and try to sleep, listening to Baby Bun breathe in his little child manner.
6:01 a.m. — I manage to fall asleep until 6 a.m. and wake up on the dot because my partner wakes up to go to the bathroom. I get up and start showering. I normally do this at night but last night was just hard on me with the late arrival at home with The Tantrum in the car, and then I just didn’t want to.
6:07 a.m. — I’m almost done (quick army showers are my thing, I just do my hair, wash my face, and shave my legs), and Baby Bun opens the door, rubbing his eyes watching me in the shower. I greet him happily, and get out, drying my hair as I go.
6:08 a.m. — I grab his milk quickly, and go back to the bathroom for moisturizer on my legs and arms. When I forget (read: am lazy) my eczema flares up. I also wear a lot of skirts and dresses in general so it is not pretty to have ashy legs. I finish in the bathroom, dress lightly and then put away the dishes as my skin products dry on my skin – Dermalogica Spot treatment and Peter Thomas Roth Acne Cream.
6:10 a.m. — I go to apply my makeup while Baby Bun is busy with a puzzle but it balls up and cakes on my skin. Eww. I re-wash my face and re-apply my makeup again on a clean, only moisturizer base. Much better.
6:17 a.m. — I finish up and then out of the blue Baby Bun asks to go to school!!!!!! Whaaaaaaat?!? Who is this child?!?!?!? I excitedly dress him and myself and bring him to school.
7:11 a.m. — As we reach the pre-school door he has a slight change of heart and says: now want stay at home wif Mommy? I remind him that he ASKED FOR SCHOOL. He repeats it but seems doubtful that he EVER said that, but gamely goes in, checks the Snack Box (nothing from yesterday), and goes into the room.
7:13 a.m. — As I leave (am so happy), he turns in his chair and waves Bye-Bye to me. OMG. HUGE.
7:21 a.m. — I get into work super happy. My hair is clean (makes a big difference and I love my DIY cut) my makeup is on point (yesterday was just not a good day for anything), and I make a few cups of tea and buckle down to work.
9:21 a.m. — I take a quick break after giving work to a few people to complete and go off to have a good think. Hmm. Maybe I’ll get a Starbucks. I shouldn’t but I didn’t get my matcha this morning with the shower I had to take instead.
9:31 a.m. — I go out for a tea and the walk, and am so pleased I’m killing it at work. I love it when I can come up with good solutions but this stuff takes time and careful planning, so it irks me when people rush into things, and change their mind 50 times which causes downstream changes as well. They should stop, think, work out possibilities then present options. I play the Starbucks Summer Game and win 1 star. I know it doesn’t do anything in the long run but it is still fun to pretend.
9:41 a.m. — I head to Starbucks and get a Grande Green Tea Latte. She charges me for a Tall instead of a Grande but I don’t realize it until I check my balance later. $4.54
10:15 a.m. — On the way back I get stopped by a co-worker who is leaving and make plans for lunch on Monday before he goes, with the team as I missed his cinq à sept go-away (5 to 7 happy hour goodbye dinner).
10:22 a.m. — Hm. Lots of kids today milling about at the office. I think today is Take your Daughter to Work day. Cute!!!! I’d love to do this as Baby Bun gets older but for Son of course.
11:45 a.m. — I wanted to run downtown to return things during lunch but a director books me for the afternoon. Gah. I need to get this done. I eat my lunch at my desk then continue working.
12:55 p.m. — I take a break and go to the meeting early to get it done. We sit and review all the options for the project proposal and he finally agrees with me after grilling me a little, and writes an approval project-wide.
1:15 p.m. — I book it for the bus and make it with 2 minutes to spare and I take the bus I don’t plan on taking on the way back so it all goes on one ticket. $2.25
1:25 p.m. — I return the Lululemon Pants Wunder Under 7/8 because I like them but only if they are on sale. -$112.70
1:47 p.m. — I speedwalk almost knocking over people to Banana Republic where I return two linen peplum utility dresses (the colour of sand is too bland for my skin), and the cotton poplin one-shoulder dress in size 4 because the 4 Petite was perfect bust-wise. -$435.27
2:12 p.m. — I then rush to pick up my tailored dress and pants (have been waiting too long for this!) and make it to the bus stop just in time. …only to discover an official pasting a new sign saying the stop is out of service. He waves all of us annoyed, disgruntled folk up 3 blocks to the next stop.
2:32 p.m. — We get there just as the bus is about to leave. Phew! $0 – was a transfer due to my brilliant bus frugality
2:45 p.m. — I get back into the office and start working again, double-speed.
4:15 p.m. — I decide to leave early and pick Baby Bun up to go to the park for being SO GOOD and not crying at preschool today and even waving goodbye!! No accidents reported today, he didn’t want his apple snack but he wanted cereal which I ended up hiding behind the director’s bookshelf so he wouldn’t see them and want it. One bowl of morning cereal is enough.
4:45 p.m. — I get in the car and hit a knot of traffic. Crap. We spend a half hour on it and I try to keep him entertained by design put all the signs.
5:11 p.m. — I finally get to the park and decide to pick up the library book on Saturday when I go to work on the blog (I need a few weekends to catch up, I have so much go share and write).
5:17 p.m. — I remembered my drycleaning but not my jacket in the closet at work. Darn it. $4.59
5:37 p.m. — I kind of love this drycleaning option at the office where you can drop things off and pick them up. #SoEasy and it is worth the price (cheap!) and you don’t have an extra stop to make during certain hours they are open. If you live in the Montreal area, try Drop’N’Go but a little tip is to sign up then wait about a month or two and they’ll give you a first-timer $10 discount.
5:47 p.m. — Baby Bun plays happily in the sand with an excavator. I have to remember to bring wet wipes in the bag next time, his hands are filthy.
6:30 p.m. — I finally get him home and we have a nice vegetarian omelette.
7:11 p.m. — I start on the dishes and let him watch videos of himself as a baby while I do them. This has made me way calmer to keep him distracted with videos while I get stuff done, and I feel kind of zen doing dishes.
7:21 p.m. — My partner wanders out and we chat about our day while I wash everything and leave them to dry.
7:51 p.m. — Baby Bun protests his night time routine but we get him dressed and then we go and read books before checking the nighttime scene outside from our condo (what a great view) and seeing people.
8:45 p.m. — Bedtime.
Saved: $550.22 — Returned things!
6:00 a.m. — SWEET, SWEET FRIDAY Oh yes…
6:10 a.m. — I SUPER HAPPILY get ready for work and am unapologetic about working being a great haven away to zen myself from Baby Bun and leave him with his father to bond.
7:00 a.m. — I am in work early, and I start working away, I like the quiet in the morning to get stuff done and think with no one around talking through my ear, in my ear, to my side, leaning against my desk RUDELY when talking to another co-worker. Listen people, give SPACE. Do not put your ass near my face when there is NO SPACE FOR YOUR ASS.
12:18 p.m. — Whoa. Already lunch? I worked non-stop. I hustle to get ready, I have to take the bus and pick up my long overdue items. $2.25
12:28 p.m. — I go and spend my lunch time trekking up to pick up my twice-tailored dress, only to then burst into an angry rant when I hear the seamstress bitching about how it is the FOURTH TIME I HAVE COME BACK, so I scold her in a very firm voice about how I AM NOT HAPPY EITHER with how things panned out, and they EFFED UP THE STRAPS so they have to fix it. I almost burst into tears. I have been so on the edge with all this SuperStar at Work Ethic happening (I love it at this client), and then Baby Bun making me cry the night before. Otherwise I’d just be irate.
12:56 p.m. — I finally grab my dress and leave. We made up, by the way. The seamstress understood my situation and I understood hers, and my outburst had to be said.
2:02 p.m. — I missed the bus that would have gotten me back sooner. Oh well. I was making notes as I was waiting anyway, so the time wasn’t wasted, as I was technically working. The bus arrives. $2.25
4:37 p.m. — I head out. I’m done. My brain is fried. I have been working like crazy and then they want to cancel everything so… wtf? I leave for the weekend. I’m tired. I don’t even need to pick up Baby Bun, so I beeline for the library.
5:00 p.m. — I spend the next 45 minutes writing, replying to emails, organizing, updating my posts (these things are long, lengthy endeavours, let me tell you!)
5:45 p.m. — I have to leave now. I arrive home SUPER EXCITED because Baby Bun is out with his father and I have the apartment ALL TO MYSELF. It is kind of sad how far I have fallen in terms of expectations of what a good time is. Right now, in Mommy Land, a good time is being alone in an apartment without anyone around. Silence. Pure silence.
5:57 p.m. — Well that was short-lived. Sigh. Wish I had more time. Like 3 hours at home alone.
6:07 p.m. — We eat a light dinner of cheese and bread (thank goodness, then I don’t have to wash much)… and we chat about our days excitedly.
7:49 p.m. — Baby Bun protests his routine again, and I ask him whether he wants to read books or continue watching French language videos. He chooses videos and we sit in a companionable silence, where I finish reading my book and he watches videos.
8:49 p.m. — Bedtime. Then he sits up ramrod straight in bed and starts squealing: BOOKS! BOOKS! TWO BOOKS!!!!! WANT BOOKS!!! UGH.
9:20 p.m. — Commence, a full half an hour of a meltdown of him wanting me to read him two books. I reminded him that he had MADE A CHOICE and I am not giving in because once I do, I’m screwed and I will be someone who doesn’t stick to her word (kids are smart animals), and I AM TIRED on top of it all. I said: Videos or Books?, and he chose Videos. Now he wants books TOO? OMG. I cannot handle this, I am too tired. Next time, we are not veering off the routine. I’m shutting down early and we are GETTING THOSE BOOKS READ.
??:?? — I can’t sleep.
??:?? — OK now it’s Baby Bun squealing from a nightmare. Probably from not having had two books read. *eye roll*
??:?? — OK now it’s my partner waking me up. OMG WILL YOU PEOPLE JUST BE QUIET.
6:49 a.m. — He woke up and woke me up. I am tired. Very tired. I sleepily get up, grab his milk and fall back asleep almost instantly beside him.
6:59 a.m. — He shakes me awake the second time. I go and make a tea. I need it.
7:02 a.m. — I slice up the rest of the leftover baguette from last night and layer it with raw organic almond butter, my new morning obsession. Baby Bun hovers by me and jumps around dancing and excited about this new ritual in the morning. I sip my green tea (with soaked chia seeds of course).
7:59 a.m. — We finished reading 3 books (I had to veto this one in between, Why do I have to make my bed because it is ANNOYING and SO LONG.) I hate this book. It’ll have to secretly disappear underneath a pile of garbage and end up getting donated because I hate this book.
8:08 a.m. — I set him up with some videos and review my budget, review all the purchases I’ve made thus far (I go through all my receipts) and allocate it into my own personal budget and the communal house budget. The last cheque I got from my partner was over $5000 for all the taxes I paid on our behalf.
9:02 a.m. — My skin is terrible. Everything can be perfect for my outfit, mood and style, but if my entire face is breaking out with deep, bumpy cystic acne, I get depressed. It just makes me feel so.. ugly. Dirty, even with such terrible skin. I don’t feel at all like myself when my skin is bad. This is why lately I have been trying very hard to stick to a vegan or at the very worst, a raw fish diet to help my skin clear up.
9:28 a.m. — Now I DO NOT ADVOCATE THIS IN PRINCIPLE, and this is definitely going to be TMI for a lot of you but I give myself a facial in the bathroom. Basically, what I do is take a very thin sharp needle, sanitize it and lightly prick the top of a pimple coming to a head, then gently clean it out with two fingers between tissues. Yeah. Gross. Then I dab it with alcohol, hydrogen peroxide to stop the bleeding, then add some healing acne potions. Done. At least the bump will now go down on my nose, and my makeup will not be so terrible on Monday.
10:18 a.m. — I end up feeding Baby Bun his vegan lunch early and am surprised when he eats TWO bowls of it. Normally it is only one. He must be going through a growth spurt…
11:02 a.m. — My partner comes home with bread and cheese, and he eats a bit but then runs off to play with puzzles. We chat about our day and I recount that people are now head hunting me for contracts. *eye roll* where were they a year ago? Suddenly I have a job and they all come a-knocking? Figures.
12:08 p.m. — I get ready to go out and Baby Bun panics, seeing me put on outside clothes, and starts on his: No Mommy Going Out To Get Stuff Done whine & dance spiel.
12:28 p.m. — I firmly unlatch his entire body clung around my thigh and leg, and push him gently away as I close the door and forcibly lock it with my key. I hear him wailing on the other side, but hey.. that’s my partner’s problem now. I’m out. I need this day. THIS IS MY MOMMY DAY and frankly I only have 4 hours at best of it because if I leave and get to where I need to go by 1 p.m., I have to leave half an hour before I need to be home, and that leaves me only 4 hours max if I want to hit dinner time.
12:56 p.m. — I drop off a few returns, and ponder getting a light little Chirashi meal until I realize that they aren’t open until 5 p.m. Drat. Well. Good for my wallet, not so great for my craving. It’s also raining so I don’t want to take the bus anywhere or walk in the rain.. I head off to the library to work and blog instead, like I said I would, and finish the Daughters of Destiny series (SO GOOD!)
12:58 p.m. — I FINALLY (third time is the charm) remembered my library card (and mine, not my son’s) and check out The Kissing Hand to read to him. A little late now, 3 months later, but maybe it’ll help for these outbursts when I leave him at home with his father now.
1:12 p.m. — At the library I am “live blogging” my Week of Money post and trying to watchDaughters of Destiny in the background. Can’t do two things at once, so I finish up until this very minute and then sit back to relax and watch. This series made me cry a lot. Very awkward in public, let me tell you. Had to pretend it was allergies.
I mean. CMON!!!! *sniffle*
1:15 p.m. — I shop on Sephora (3X the points!) in the meantime. I have given up on the Fresh Umbrian Clay because I think it is the reason why my T-Zone COMPLETELY broke out from the serious dryness of the clay which caused more oil to build up, and then more pimples and cysts to appear. I have stopped ALL OF THAT. No more listening to Sephora folk. Lead me wrong once, shame on you. Lead me wrong TWICE, shame on me. I’m done.
1:44 p.m. — I place an order for four Victoria’s Secret nude, wireless t-shirt bras (around $37 each with the USD to CAD exchange). They’re the only ones I like to wear, and they’re comfortable and NOT SOLD IN STORES HERE (WTF Canada?)… I recently cut up an old nude bra, so I am wearing the last one I had “in stock” as a spare. I need to replace them every few years or more (5 years?) so that they don’t stretch out and sag. $148.62
1:53 p.m. — This Daughters of Destiny thing makes me so angry and sad in equal parts. Please watch it, everyone. If you can.
1:59 p.m. — Hmm.. maybe I will go get a tray of sushi when the library closes.
2:40 p.m. — OMG. I AM CRYING. Why is this series so heartbreaking? I’m committed to supporting this school if I can. You can donate online here. It is sick that you can be born into a fate you did not choose for yourself, and worse that people feel that you have no hope because you were born a girl. Disgusting. You can donate here if you are interested by the way, but watch the series first.
2:43 p.m. — Oh and one of them, Shilpa Raj, wrote a book called: The Elephant Chaser’s Daughter, which I would like to buy, but I am not from Amazon India. C’mon guys!!!!
2:47 p.m. — I think.. I think I may want to add one of these kids to my list every year to donate to. I already do 10% of my income at the end of every year, but I think it would be wonderful for Baby Bun to write to, and sponsor a child along with me (I’d pay of course, not him), and to grow up knowing he is helping another child on the other side of the world who is just like him but having been born in the “wrong” circumstances. I need to consider this. I couldn’t do this donation just once a year and stop. I need to commit to this over 17 years for how long they need to be supported. I don’t want to do this half-assed. 17 x $2000 CAD = $34,000 in total but spread over 17 years.
2:58 p.m. — I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to do it all, which is just my nature .. I am not happy when I am not working, and I am the happiest when I have a ton of things on the go and I have more than I can handle on all fronts. It’s the truth. I decide that each Saturday I will dedicate it to the blog until I feel like it’s back on track, and if I can stay ahead at least by a month of having daily scheduled posts, I should cut myself some slack.
3:45 p.m. — Sorry to harp on this Shanti Bhavan thing, but I read this:
Shanti Bhavan graduates give back 20-50% of their salaries to their families, communities, and other children in need, creating a ripple effect that impacts thousands. They support their families financially, fight for the legal rights of the disenfranchised, and negotiate infrastructure improvements in villages. Our graduates create better lives for themselves and others using the knowledge, skills, and education they have acquired at Shanti Bhavan.
OK. let’s do this. I’ll dedicate my monthly support to Baby Bun, and he can help follow along with the child and write letters back to his new pen pal as he gets older.
4:45 p.m. — This little girl in the library has killer style. She has a cool raffia hat on, and looks so GOOD! I want to steal her outfit. She’s 10 by the way. 😛
4:55 p.m. — They flip the lights on and off and I decide to go have a bit of sushi as a treat. $13.79
5:35 p.m. — I get home and Baby Bun greets me at the door, bouncing about.
5:47 p.m. — I put everything away then do all the dishes and then start packing up around the house.
6:09 p.m. — I really need to clean out my closet. It is almost like I need two closets at any given time: Current Wardrobe –– with what I wear now as season-specific things like sundresses and Out-of-Season Wardrobe — where I keep winter jackets and things I won’t wear during the summer but don’t need/want to see when I’m in the midst of creating my outfit for the next day. I decide to go into my closet and try to clean out one shelf or section a week. The problem lies more in finding the time to do this, WITHOUT Baby Bun or my partner around. I need quiet silence with some old comforting episodes of Castle or Monk or Elementary running in the background, and a block of 4-ish hours to do it in. This may not even get done until Baby Bun goes to school and I can stay at home to work.
6:55 p.m. — I stretch, and out of sheer reflex stupidly click on the Banana Republic email reminding me that I have another 40% off sale. OMG. I end up ordering their Essential Tanks which I love at such a deep discount ($5 each) that the price can’t be beat. If I don’t wear them for work (I did need shirts and things that cling for my high waisted skirts), then they are perfect lounge shirts for the summer as all my other shirts are long sleeved and too warm. On a whim (obviously), I add a cute one-shoulder striped to to try out (my new experimental style), and two merino wool v-neck sweaters in gorgeous magenta and cobalt blue that I am sort of certain I will keep. $223.41
7:21 p.m. — Crap. Wasn’t supposed to shop, although in my defense, $5 for great tanks is a deal not to be missed. They rarely have sales like this where it is discounted and then discounted again by another 40%. The other items I get of course were exempted from this deep deeep discount.
7:41 p.m. — We go and get ready for bed and as promised from last nights debacle I read TEN BOOKS FROM COVER TO COVER … although as a little confession, I did kind of covertly skip a few pages in the slightly too-long “This is New York” book.
8:27 p.m. — He goes to sleep easily after we talk about how everyone else is going to sleep too.
8:57 p.m. — Actual time IN bed, and then.. we fall asleep I don’t even know when. 20 minutes later?
5:44 a.m. — We wake up and it is Baby Bun’s favourite day of the week because he gets to go to the park and the trains. I wake up a bit groggy and very tired. I need a good 9 hours and I’m not getting it. I don’t complain though, but get his milk, tuck him back in to drink the bottle, then wash my face and apply a heavy arsenal of acne cream. Thus far, no new ones knock on wood. My face has been in pain for weeks with new bumps appearing on and off, and to feel it calm down a bit is a relief.
6:10 a.m. — I check my mail and realize I owe $3000 in taxes. Fine. I’ll pay it one shot. I’m so tired.
7:30 a.m. — I organize my files the best I can and try to get Baby Bun ready to go to the park as he gets super antsy.
9:01 a.m. — We end up being delayed by an hour because …Baby Bun. REFUSES to listen to me. He ends up realizing that I mean it and he starts trying to show me how good of a listener he is because he desperately wants to go to the park.
9:02 a.m. — He gets in the elevator and horrified that the other neighbour had the gall to press the button before he did, he lets out an EAR SPLITTING SHRIEK .. I mean a serious 911 cry and LOSES IT in the elevator because someone else pressed the button. My ears are still ringing a day later.
9:03 a.m. — I grab him out to try and calm him down when we reach our floor and scold him to explain how “we don’t do that in the elevator!!” I’m still angry as I drive him to the park (too many toys to carry to walk instead). I have no idea what happened. It came out of the blue and right after we had a (what I thought) GOOD TALK about behaving well. WTF, CHILD.
9:06 a.m. — I give him a second chance and go to the park where I spend the morning talking and calling my mom while playing with Baby Bun. We discuss Baby Bun and she updates me on the lives of my family. She bought a top too small for herself and wants to send it to me. I agree it does look nice but request she remove the ruffle detail (it would be terrible in my large shoulders).
10:36 a.m. — I finally get him back from the park and we have a nice lunch. He behaves pretty well the entire time and I do the dishes after our delicious lunch of chicken pasta my partner decided to whip up on the fly. SO GOOD. I devour the entire plate.
11:56 a.m. — I start on the dishes after we finish eating and Baby Bun is watching videos of himself.
1:01 p.m. — I get Baby Bun down for his (blessed) nap, then start watching Season 3 of Chef’s Table and am blown away. LOVE this series. The chefs are incredible and I am most intrigued by the vegan South Korean monk Jeong Kwan.
1:46 p.m. —Baby Bun is up only after 45 minutes on the dot and I sob internally. I wanted a longer break.
2:06 p.m. — We get ready and head out. On the way I ask him how excited he is, what he does in school and I explain things to him. We get to the bus stop and wait for bus we just missed.
2:36 p.m. — The next one arrives shortly. $2.25
2:06 p.m. — We head to the trains and take the long way around to go back to the structure to play. They replaced a previously empty circle with some pink structure and Baby Bun is horrified at this change that the artists dare to have made without consulting his feelings first about how he would enjoy it (or decidedly not). He tries for 15 minutes, sobbing and squealing to lift this 1000 pound structure in pink so that he can circle around in the empty spot as he did last week. Grrrrr.
2:16 p.m. — I have to explain and calm him down that that is how it is and he can be disappointed but we can find other ways to play with it.
2:51 p.m. — I take him to go to a nearby café get a drink (some unsweetened almond milk), which he loves, and we chow down on a few orange madeleines together which he REALLY loves. I love the mini cakes too. $8.53
3:25 p.m. — He plays a bit more then we go back on the trains early. I’ll take him to the park instead. This structure’s changed artistic vision by removing an empty circle to play in is making him sad. $2.25
3:25 p.m. — At the park we plays happily and even SHARES the slide instead of screaming: NO SHARE NO WANT TO SHARE… I calmly let him play.
5:27 p.m. — We head inside a bit earlier than I planned (6 p.m.), as I am suddenly fatigued, and my partner didn’t make anything to eat. Privately I’m thinking: WTF I AM HUNGRY.
5:58 p.m. — I end up quietly seething and making a noodle dish with 3 soft boiled eggs after feeding Baby Bun a huge bowl of vegan soup and oatmeal. In hindsight we should eat the leftovers so it isn’t so bad (my partner is not technically in the wrong) but I came home HUNGRY. If I had known, I would have eaten at that ramen shop like I wanted…. I finish eating and do half the dishes, leaving only the 4 huge bowls and some cutlery for tomorrow. I’m too tired.
8:08 p.m. — I want to sleep and we still have the nighttime routine of pull-ups, books and outside environment explanation to complete.
8:48 p.m. — I complete the routine, and we all finally sleep.