I’m afraid to say this. I feel like I am going to be a failure again.
New year… has come upon us.
I know it sounds weird to consider myself a ‘failure’ (you’re all eye rolling now, I know), but in some ways, I feel like I don’t have that discipline and that sort of strict frugal fear that is in every single personal finance blogger I know.
Even the spendy ones, are REALLY good at NOT spending.
I feel like out of all the fringe semi-personal finance bloggers (let’s face it, I talk about everything not just money), I am the spendiest, and the least concerned about saving every penny and being frugal AF.
So from the new year, thoughts about (again) changing my spending habits has cropped up again.
Especially since I am getting very tired and jaded at the office, and now I am thinking:
For what? To buy more stuff, I need to work like a dog and put up with this #*@$?!!
I am being facetious because not really.
I usually just quit if I am not happy, but I wouldn’t be able to quit forever, if I had to which I think should be the goal, and then decide to go back to work on and off if / when / definitely I get bored.
I think what I would like to do is figure out a kind of goal for the year, that I can be proud of, to finally say to myself:
Hey, you aren’t as bad as you think. YOU CAN do it.
Especially with the stock market going down the drain, this is putting much-needed pressure on my income and spending, because I’m seeing my net worth recede, and this is the kind of scarcity my stupid hamster brain needs to stop spending so freely.
It is like I do well, then I mess up, and since I messed up already, I think: EFF IT.. and I go whole hog, and make it worse by spending and buying more.
This is not uncommon, by the way…
So right now I am still waffling about what my goal will be for the year, and perhaps it should be something like:
Either only shop your closet with what you have (and stop browsing tempting sites), and if you buy clothes it can only be from thrift or consignment.
This is kind of what I am doing today, but I do occasionally splurge on pieces from my favourite retailers… and really, it is just buying the same comforting item over and over again.
I also have been over spending just because I felt like I could.. I have to find a way to tell myself that I CANNOT.
I really am feeling like I will be a doomed failure at curbing my spending.