Week of Money: Where I lose my left eyesight & sleep almost 24/7 for 4 days straight
??:?? — I wake up still feeling dizzy, nauseous and sick from the previous week.
6:00 a.m. — I get a rave review on The Budgeting Tool and I am so happy:
7:12 a.m. — Little Bun wails: WHEN IS DADDY GOING TO WAKE UP?… I don’t know what he is expecting with his father waking up because I don’t think we are having special food this morning…. I make a tea.
8:08 a.m. — I make some tea and notice the milk is running out. How did it all disappear so quickly? GRRR…. It’s the ONLY thing I like in the mornings that gets me going.
9:15 a.m. — I go back into the bedroom and sleep the morning off while he plays on the iPad and with Daddy outside. I feel so incredibly sick. My left eye is completely black. I can’t see. It is like I have stars or a dizzy spell happening on the left, and all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep, so I do.
10:28 a.m. — I wake up briefly (am dozing in and out), and browse Pinterest. I love the look of belts as accessories in outfits, and this look takes it from breezy to cinched in & stylish:
And this one is a great belt (backwards! buckle isn’t facing out) that looks great as an accent):
And here is that belt again, backwards but with a skirt and sweater:
And not belted, but this vintage Vionnet dress is the holy grail for me.
The draped skirt in front of the dress is BEAUTIFUL and it is from the 1910s, but the designs are still relevant and modern today. In fact, it looks just like these skirts from MM Lafleur – Lenox:
…and the MM Lafleur – Minetta.
12:08 p.m. — I basically feel sick the entire day, and alternate from trying to do some dishes and letting them dry in small batches, to playing with Little Bun, to lying down.
1:04 p.m. — I have zero energy even for a shower and I feel nauseous and sick. I pop more pills as he goes down for a nap. My eye is still a bit dark on the left, and I just crawl onto the living room floor, curl up on a pillow with a blanket and sleep to try and get rid of the pain and dizziness.
3:15 p.m. — I wake up around the time he wakes up (he comes to lie down beside me in the living room), and then I feed him, feed myself (the pills helped but I can only take 6 a day in 3-hour intervals), and I try to clean up a little.
6:06 p.m. — I tell my partner I have to go to sleep early and that’s what I do. I lie down, and basically doze on and off as Little Bun plays on the iPad beside me. He doesn’t need to necessarily play with me when he knows I am feeling so sick, but he just wants to be beside me, making Cake Pops and “eating” them together. It’s this silly game he is hassling me to buy that costs $18 to remove the ads and unlock all the virtual cake toppings and I put my foot down which made him tell me I had to become rich so I could buy Cake Pops. I’ll never pay $18 for that game, it’s ridiculous. $3 yes, but not $18. He makes cute photos like “MOMMY” and “LOVE” out of icing in the app:
8:30 p.m. — My partner takes him away to read a book, brush his teeth, and I am dozing in and out. I can’t even get up to wash my face which is the first time I’ve ever done this since I started caring for my skin. I can’t move. I am mentally dead.
9:15 p.m. — After finally convincing him that we don’t need the iPad or videos and I will tell him stories instead, he accepts and then makes up wild pages in the stories that I start. He is so creative with the ideas, that I am happy (although nauseous) that he is becoming a bit of a fantastic story teller. We started with the idea of a ‘green ghost’ and he ran with it to the point where he added more embellishments about the children naming colours of other ghosts, etc.
??:?? — I slept solidly. So did he. At one point during the night while he was dreaming, I heard him sweetly & softly say: “Mommy…” …. but in a nice sweet loving way, not a panicked or angry one, and it melted my heart.
6:00 a.m. — Up, I get him yoghurt, and I make a tea. He has a bit of a grumpster attitude today, but I explain to him that he just has to say it nicely, he doesn’t need to get upset and jump up and down which causes me to be stressed. I also pop 2 more pills to control my nausea, I have a consulting call today for someone’s career for half an hour, so I need to be on point.
7:39 a.m. — I take a shower, wash my face, brush my teeth and feel human again. This sickness of mine – vertigo paired with barometric pressure headaches and motion sickness, really hits me hard. I can’t imagine having to do this alone, as I was pretty much out of commission and sleeping for 2 days (one day last week).
8:08 a.m. — These blacknose sheep are ADORABLE *melts*
12:08 p.m. — Time for lunch.
1:15 p.m. — I take a call about a possible contract. I am interested and not interested.
2:20 p.m. — I lie down and watch The Girlfriends Guide to Divorce and doze off to sleep again.
3:34 p.m. — I end up napping just a little bit more after I wake up again.
4:10 p.m. — I am up. I happen to see this on Instagram, and it’s me – I am Emma Knight … LOL I will live my best life.
5:13 p.m. — Little Bun loses it because the iPad is too old and he throws it across the room. That earns him a (screaming) 7-minute time out where I close the door in his face (he clung to my shirt), and I leave him to stew and scream.
5:20 p.m. — I get back into the room and he tells me I was correct (in punishing) but also incorrect because he didn’t throw it, he was playing head-over-feet with it and rolling it along like an animal.
WHATEVER IT WAS, we work it out and he stops crying after half an hour. HE KNOWS he deserved the punishment (especially since he also shoved a table in there sideways in a fit of anger).
6:08 p.m. — I feed Little Bun, and then I eat. I am so mentally and physically tired.
6:22 p.m. — I lie down early and end up sleeping. I am so tired, and still a bit nauseous and I don’t even know what happens. My partner takes care of him the entire time until it is bedtime and I am already conked out.
6:00 a.m. — Still no milk, my partner is going out tomorrow to get it and when he does I am totally having my matcha tea late, I don’t care what time it is. I am so heavily dependent on this ONE THING to get me through the day that when I don’t have it, I feel really out of sorts.
7:59 a.m. — As a style person this made me laugh out loud so hard, except the interlocking C’s are not locking in the right way .. LOL
8:08 a.m. — I see Little Bun is still loving his Space Sticker book, and I end up buying 3 more for him – these 3 specifically – The World Atlas Sticker Book, The Baby Animals Sticker Book (he asked for this one because he says he loves cute baby animals), and The Safari Sticker Book. They’ll arrive at the end of May, so… plenty of time for him to finish up the other books. I’ll have to get used to ordering 2 months in advance. $34.49
8:20 a.m. — I feed Little Bun breakfast. I feel a bit better but not 100%. I go back to the bedroom and sleep beside him as he plays on the iPad and in the living room with his father. He very sweetly leaves me at one point, and closes the door softly, because he knows I am sleeping and I need to rest. I can hear all of this as I am half sleeping in and out of consciousness.
12:08 p.m. — Time for lunch, and after the lunch, I kind of conk out on the bed and nap until it is time for his naptime. I have been trying to get my body back up to speed and sleep seems to be the only cure.
1:15 p.m. — I lie back down on the living room floor carpet and sleep again. I’d go to the bedroom to sleep but Little Bun isn’t quiet and I can’t sleep properly with him around as I am always subconsciously worried about him.
3:00 p.m. — Little Bun is up from his “nap” (really, it is Quiet Time as he didn’t nap) and knocks on the door to be let out and then led to a bowl of yoghurt. He jumps on me afterwards, and I wake up.
4:15 p.m. — I wish I could visit my Starbucks. Maybe in a year. In the meantime, this was funny:
5:16 p.m. — I am watching the TV Series The Girlfriends Guide to Divorce and I am wondering why the guys are all so normal / plain looking and the women are tall, like supermodels, thin, and smoking hot. Why can’t we have the opposite? I’d like to see a Regular Jane with a very hot looking (yet smart and amazing) Joe, please. These guys are nowhere near the leagues of these women, unless you count their fictional empires and fortunes. Also, where did Lila go? I guess they killed her weird storyline off.
6:07 p.m. — I am feeling a LOT better. It is like I turned a corner and now I feel like myself again. A bit tired, but myself.
6:47 p.m. — I work on a new little project I just started thinking of, and end up getting engrossed in it. Who knew I had so much to say and teach? In the meantime while I am doing this, Little Bun is of course coming up and pestering me every 5-10 minutes, so .. it’s not like I get a solid 2 hours of work in, but fragmented 1.5 hours if I am lucky.
8:16 p.m. — I tear myself away from the project and go to read books with him. He insists on shared reading and reads one page, then has me read the next page, and do all of the Mommy animal voices.
9:04 p.m. — After reading, he wants ghost stories, so he makes up his own and I lie there, listening to his rambling, absolutely zero storyline or point of a story, segueing off onto the strangest tangents about jam, until he seems to run out of breath and then I tell him: THE END, and he goes to sleep.
??:?? — I wake up refreshed. FINALLY. All that napping and sleeping for 4 days must have really helped me a lot.
6:20 a.m. — My partner heads out early to start the COVID-19 shopping errands – he has to go get everything, pick up the mail, go to the pharmacy, and do 2 weeks worth of errands in one morning, then come home, unpack everything safely, disinfect everything, take a shower, re-disinfect everything….. it will be a whole production.
7:19 a.m. — No tea, last day I hope. THE MINUTE I can get my paws on some milk, I am making my latte.
8:08 a.m. — I cancel on an interview for this afternoon. It was for a project, at a low rate ($40/hour less) than what I am used to, and really sounds ambiguous/not exciting because it seems like they want 2 people for the price of one. I can handle one part of the project but not the other part, even though I have had SOME experience in it, it doesn’t make me an expert, and that alone, makes me think: I don’t need to take this contract. Take a break. You’ll make money eventually.
12:08 p.m. — The only thing I can look forward to is the start of the month where I get to throw myself into my budget and log into every account, check everything, categorize everything…. it sucks up time and I love doing it.
12:10 p.m. — Time for pizza, homemade and delicious:
12:57 p.m. — I feel heavy. I lie down after eating that pizza and end up sleeping until it is time for Little Bun’s quiet time.
1:25 p.m. — He goes down for his nap, I get kicked out into the living room so he can be alone and I can get some mental rest. I end up sleeping on the floor.
3:07 p.m. — I wake up when he’s up (he didn’t nap at all, I can tell), and then I go through all my papers – I really need to scan and organize these.
4:15 p.m. — Loving this sleek, autumn look that is so simple and wonderfully chic:
5:27 p.m. — “Mommy, did you know the 7 things I ate today?“… and he proceeds to list them: “Yoghurt, Pasta, Oatmeal, Soup, Smoothie, Crispies (the pizza crusts we save aside for him), and Rice Pudding!”
6:19 p.m. — He plays with a vacuum attachment and starts making shapes with it, and tries to trick me, then gets angry when I don’t get it right. My head is hurting, my eyes are filled with flashing light and I lose it. I tell him: IT LOOKS LIKE A SIX. If you’re asking me if it is a 6, it looks like one, but now you’re angry because I didn’t guess Uppercase B? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?…. This is the kind of s#*$ you put up with when you have children but you have zero patience when you’re sick and tired.
6:45 p.m. — I am so happy we bought blocks for Little Bun. He is making up all sorts of games pretending they are cars, trains, and so on, and this is entertaining him. He doesn’t even want the videos, iPad or anything, he just wants to play. As we don’t really limit him strictly by enforcing only one hour a day or whatever, he doesn’t see it as ‘forbidden’ and isn’t as addicted. That’s my theory anyway… it works on him quite well, but may not work on other kids.
6:47 p.m. — Little Bun has a crying FIT where he loses his #$* because I was talking to his father and it was literally 2 minutes of talking. He starts wailing: WHY WAS DADDY TAKING SO LONG I WAS WAITING AND WAITING ….. we both lose it. I have tried the Nice Way to teach him to wait and be patient and now THIS IS HAPPENING? I tell him first, the Nice Way, how he has to wait when someone is talking and then it is his turn. He had ALL MORNING TO TALK TO ME and suddenly now he wants to talk to me when I am talking to someone else?
He escalates into a screaming, crying fit. I lose it. I JUST LOSE IT. I have been stressed all week, sleeping like crazy because of this nausea and pain in my eye, and now this bull#%* of a child can’t even wait 2 minutes for a conversation. I am screaming, red-facd, losing it. JUST LOSING IT.
6:53 p.m. — He finally calms down after I let him sob it out in the bedroom with the door closed, and he tells me he was a little angry and now he is a BIG angry and bla bla bla… I basically tell him – You’re the one starting this. You couldn’t wait 2 minutes and had to speak when I was speaking, so.. you’ve brought the Hard Way down on yourself.
7:05 p.m. — Little Bun plays Todo Math (his new favourite app for math), and I somehow feel much better, but now am shivering, like I am cold. My skin is prickling like a porcupine against the cold it seems and I am swathed in cashmere!!!
7:16 p.m. — These foxes are adorable!
7:05 p.m. — The Reader’s Digest has Secret Tricks Hiding in Restaurant Menus as a great guide here.
7:05 p.m. — I get him situated with some workbooks and he tells me: Mommy I want to graduate to grade 3!!! .. and pulls out his Grade 3 Problem Solving workbook. I firmly tell him he has to finish all of his Grade 2 books before he advances to the harder stuff. He nods, sets the book aside and says: I will leave it here so it is ready when I am. …. MY HEART. This child is beyond what I thought he would be. He is truly the son I have always wanted.
9:08 p.m. — Time for bed. I conk out early, after making lots of notes to myself – I have so much to get done that I keep putting off because I was (A) sick and (B) just not feeling up to it. Whatever I am feeling now is normal I know, but it still feels like I am a slug.
??:?? — Little Bun rolls on top of me. Then sighs. Then rolls into a nook in my arm. Then wiggles. Then sighs again. Then puts his head on my belly. Then hugs me and kisses me. Then wiggles down and kisses my leg. This is all a show to get me to wake up at an UNGODLY HOUR.
5:20 a.m. — He tells me it is 5:20. I beg him for 10 minutes, and he goes into the living room, plays alone for 10 minutes and then comes back announcing: I gave you ELEVEN minutes! .. I get up and get his yoghurt. I’m bleary. I’ll nap for sure today. My whole life is just naps all day long.
6:04 a.m. — He opts to do English exercises in this workbook which I think is the best of all of them, and has already done half on his own (he can read well), and I quickly check his answers – he is 99% accurate! I kiss him. He’s such an eager learner.
6:15 a.m. — I make some tea. FINALLY. MILK. My partner upset me yesterday by predicting gloom and doom that there will be no more fresh food left except for vegetables and fruits, IF THAT. I almost burst into tears.
7:59 a.m. — This gorgeous kitchen tile backsplash in the kitchen as a design is just stunning – I like how it goes from straight to a geometry, to colours…
I also like how this minimalist look is bright and colourful – not everything needs to be stark white and neutral!
8:08 a.m. — I pass the morning basically updating my budget for the new month, and doing all the posts, including Instagram scheduling. Now with the new Budgeting Tool, this stuff with cute graphics and amazing charts takes me less than an hour, when before, it would take me a 3 days to get it all done. Example: How could I possibly recreate this image each time that is so pretty without the tool?
11:15 a.m. — I eat a quick lunch, and am not loving that these mashed potatoes were frozen. Blechhh….. my partner is trying to cook less and in larger batches but mashed potatoes DO NOT FREEZE WELL.
11:28 a.m. — I spend the whole next hour after eating, playing silly games with Little Bun. Just spending time with him. Not doing anything, just kissing him, telling him stories, wrestling… The entire morning flies by, even though he kept checking the clock to see when his naptime would roll around. He does look a little sleepy so he conks out easily when the time comes.
12:56 p.m. — All of these prints and colours are <3
3:56 p.m. — I get a quick early dinner ready. I don’t like to eat too late because it makes me feel heavy for bed, and honestly, I get hungry around 4 p.m….
4:15 p.m. — Up from his nap. He is GRUMPY. I don’t even know what is going on but I figure it is post-nap grumpiness which I get as well, so I feel sympathetic.
4:35 p.m. — I go to order more Grade 3 workbooks for him only to realize they’re sold out!!! GRADE THREE ONLY? Ugh. Why of all the grades? … so I end up buying the Sylvan Summer Smart books that transition from one grade to another – I have one from Grade 1 to Grade 2 and it is quite comprehensive covering math, English, etc. They’re shorter, but they still cover what needs to be there and I can always supplement with extra workbooks. $60.24
6:17 p.m. — I play with Little Bun, then make dinner, feed him, and he sort of goes off and plays on his own, watching videos when he wants, and then just being bored and coming out to be with us.
6:26 p.m. — “Mommy, I love your crêpe-coloured belly and your beautiful tiger stripes from when you carried me inside” …. <3 This child is too much love. I told him my stretch marks were tiger stripes, and he told me they made me more beautiful (when he was younger), so now they are not ugly stripes that some women might think of, but to me, signs of strength and love. They remind me of Little Bun, and that’s a good thing. He’s accepted/embraced them as positive as well!
8:01 p.m. — We start the bedtime routine. I’m really tired but he slept quite late today for his nap….
9:22 p.m. — Time for bed. After Lucy Lobster stories, Green Ghost stories.. SO MANY STORIES OMG….
??:?? — I wake up tired, but not exhausted. This is a plus. I could have used another hour though.
5:24 a.m. — Little Bun has been waking up earlier because he has been napping during the day. I think I better start napping too.
6:03 a.m. — I make tea, and then get into a long post about privilege in society.
6:25 a.m. — I watch the latest episode of Top Chef – I AM SO rooting for either Gregory or Melissa to win because I genuinely like them as people from the show, but also that they are fantastic chefs. I’d love to eat at their restaurants…..
Tsk tsk! He forgot the ê in crêpes 😉
10:09 a.m. — I can’t wait for crêpes, I end up making pasta to eat in between for breakfast.
10:28 a.m. — Ethereal and beautiful <3
I also love these outfits where the draping is Indian sarees but then it looks Grecian as well:
12:08 p.m. — Time for lunch. I eat some pasta and feed Little Bun as well.
6:54 p.m. — “Mommy, let’s do homophones together in my workbook. I can sit on your lap if you’d like?” … well. That sounded more like a demand than a request, a very polite and sweet one but… LOL … I go over to his chair, pull him onto my lap and we work through a few activities.
7:14 p.m. — We read books together, and he reads by himself while I finish off my own book. Then we cue for bedtime, brush our teeth, etc.
7:00 a.m. — I get up with him (OMG HE SLEPT IN!) and I make tea, clean up the kitchen and my partner will cook today.
8:08 a.m. — Absolutely true! (P.S. – This is a joke account highlighting sexism)
12:08 p.m. — We are confined in the bedroom as my partner cooks for the next 1-2 weeks because he is scared the virus may still be lingering on items, so he needs to concentrate on making sure he wipes and cleans every inch of the kitchen. This is mentally stressful.
12:28 p.m. — I look outside and basically see people meeting and not isolating at all. I recognize neighbours with extended family members they do not live with and I think summer will be a hard time to keep everyone in, if they can at all.
12:56 p.m. — Also, I’d like one of each please:
Along with this outfit:
1:12 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for his nap after we have an AMAZING lunch of vinegar chicken and fries. He is so happy. I am too. I love fries and vinegar chicken.
3:00 p.m. — He didn’t nap. That’s okay.
5:50 p.m. — We read books together, I do all the dishes, wash and clean and wipe and dry.
6:14 p.m. — I go on reading my book.
9:22 p.m. — Time for bed.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.