??:?? — I wake up tired.
6:00 a.m. — I get up with him, make a tea, log into work after I do some business and banking.
7:09 a.m. — First call of the day. The person I am working with… I don’t know if it’s a communication thing, if she just doesn’t like to ask for help from anyone but me.. but I cannot be their babysitter. I just can’t. They can’t be waiting on me all day long for an answer and stopping what they are doing like a robot. Work on something else in the meantime. Everyone is starting to express concern but I just want to work in harmony and get things done – how do you tell someone to stop being lazy?
I don’t even know what this attitude is of just.. not being a self-starter and doing other tasks you’ve been given in between so that you can keep going. Or keeping your own To Do list rather than relying on me to constantly feed it to you. I hate bloody getting blamed for this, and I don’t want to manage anyone.
7:30 a.m. — More meetings.
8:08 a.m. — Little Bun ‘allows’ the Biggest Stuffie to watch TV in the meantime while he works on Activity Book.
8:08 a.m. — Another meeting. They’re now talking about it being a “back to work” thing after the second shot. I am still not cool with this.
9:27 a.m. — Little Bun works on pieces to help me cope with work. Apparently it comes from the game AMONG US (addictive I hear), and he saw a few videos about it, which is why he is aware of it.
I don’t get the game but it is something about an Emergency Meeting that they all call..
And you have to find the imposter.. (who is the big red one on the right I am complaining about as my work Imposter who is pretending to work):
11:30 a.m. — Lunch time.
1:10 p.m. — Down for his Quiet Time / nap (he has been napping lately), I read my book and take a break. No tea today, I feel a bit under the weather and I don’t want caffeine to make me sick.
1:30 p.m. — More meetings.
2:17 p.m. — I like very outlandish necklaces! But I wouldn’t wear this. I just like being inspired by it.
3:56 p.m. — We do a space adventure in bed. Here is his Space List, by the way, of the things we need in space to record down observations, and survive:
Goggles, Space suit, Telescope, Gloves, Air Tank, Space Box, Camera… Clipboard, Pen…
4:41 p.m. — I log off for the day. We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss the work not being produced.
5:10 p.m. — Another gift for me – Money because he knows I prefer cash. HAHAHA!
So he made me this square piece of paper with the $_$ face and money at the back.
6:24 p.m. — I do laundry, Little Bun does cutlery after dinner, and then he watches Arthur as I read a book and feel like I am not getting everything done. I have this notion of “what else am I missing? how can my life be in order? this feels weird“.
7:45 p.m. — I finish all the pots from weekend cooking – it usually takes me two days and 3 rounds to clean everything in the kitchen that was used.
9:12 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up tired. Little Bun moans because it’s not 6 a.m. yet, and he knows I don’t like to get up before then. He resigns himself to sleeping in bed (fake sleeping) until I wake up. I feel so tired. I need another hour at least.
6:10 a.m. — Milk, I make a tea, I think about what I want to eat for lunch today (very big deal), and I just got a bottle of siracha to change my meals up. I am obsessed with it because it is so garlicky, I love it.
7:59 a.m. — First meeting of the day.
10:30 a.m. — We have a huge company-wide meeting and the basic gist of it is: You are all to take a day off to get the first vaccination shot within the next 2 weeks, and then start coming back into the office.
11:32 a.m. — I talk to my manager after the call and essentially tell her that I am giving my notice. I mean, I tried to say: Is there any wiggle room, I don’t feel comfortable with this approach.. but this was the “approach of management”, so I just told her I would be done next week then. I am glad I am able to just quit because some people might not be able to, given the money, and so on. I suspect I won’t be the only one, so maybe if there are enough mass quittings, they’ll backtrack.
12:04 p.m. — Lunch time. Then Little Bun and I play Two Dots (the app) in the bedroom together:
1:01 p.m. — He tells me: Mommy, just one more game, and then I have to go down for my nap!!! (he’s a stickler for schedules and rules)
3:10 p.m. — Up from his nap, we cuddle, then he plays Uno with his father, and does other things on his own, while I work. I still have meetings until 4 p.m.
4:50 p.m. — I log off for the day.
5:12 p.m. — I do all the dishes and Little Bun helps wipe the cutlery.
5:36 p.m. — Mommy, how about we dust together? (this is literally what he thinks is fun, this and vacuuming…) It’s not really dusting as we take the fake flowers and pretend to dust (very ineffective) but he proudly tells me they are great dusters that are ALSO very pretty.
6:02 p.m. — He goes out on the balcony with his father
6:27 p.m. — I am doing more dishes and watching TV shows.
7:04 p.m. — I am super annoyed. My Kobo Forma I think, is defective. I end up contacting customer service to return it and to ask for a replacement one. If this one ALSO conks out, then I will buy their older models that are far more reliable. The Kobo Aura One I have had for years, STILL WORKS WELL.
7:40 p.m. — He puts away laundry as I read on my old e-reader that I gave to him but now have commandeered back.
9:30 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up again, before the time I want to (7:30, ideally…)
6:05 a.m. — Tea time, and then Little Bun quizzes me on things like: Would you want to use a whistle, use some air to get out of the river, or do the Hokey Pokey!? .. and I answer with one of the options. He’s making me do different “levels”.
Some birdies are getting away from the nest.
- Whistle out loud
- Use some arrows
- Do the hokey pokey
I pick whistle out loud… and he said I scared all the baby ducklings away. He tells me I won the game and skipped a bunch of levels. (It can be exhausting to deal with this mentally having to constantly listen to this, plus help with his schoolwork, plus work …)
7:00 a.m. — He runs into the bedroom to ask his father when he is waking up. I think my partner says 8 a.m. It will be before then. Little Bun does this all the time, snuggling his father and asking when he is waking up, etc. Once my partner is up, Little Bun gets fed, hence the pestering.
7:19 a.m. — My partner is up, I do some yoga, put away the dried dishes left out over night and then log in to work.
7:50 a.m. — First meeting of the day.
11:05 a.m. — He spends the morning making love notes for me:
So I made one back for him with the coloured hearts:
And he makes something out of paper and says: Do you know what WM stands for?
I answer: Waste Management?
Little Bun: NO!!! WONDERFUL MOMMY!!!!!! <3
12:11 p.m. — Meetings solid until noon, and I quickly eat some food as a break.
1:25 p.m. — I take another break to read and eat some gummies.
3:08 p.m. — Up from his nap.
3:12 p.m. — We do laundry, dishes, he makes me an “Eternal To Do list”, and I am going through my notes for life. I just feel like I am not on top of this but I think this is a feeling that is unwarranted because I have finished everything on my list. I just need to let myself relax.
4:15 p.m. — I clean out more things. I should start another bag of donations. I want to organize the upcycling portion of the closet first.
5:30 p.m. — After dinner, he is on the balcony with his father while I read.
6:17 p.m. — He works on folding the towels and putting them away, gets distracted, doesn’t know how to focus on getting a task done. It’s really frustrating, like herding a cat. He sees a magazine, picks it up and gets lost.
8:25 p.m. — Time for bed.
9:21 p.m. — Really time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up tired. I need another hour. He just isn’t on my schedule.
6:20 a.m. — He watches Dr. Binocs shows that teaches kids a lot about basic things.
7:26 a.m. — Meeting number one
7:59 a.m. — In his activity book, he tells me the aliens met for the first time, and when they met, they made a star together – please note the star he created for them:
Then the star they made, traveled to the other stars by the Stuffie and the planet, and eventually died out, turning into a black hole. (Yes, this is his narrative).
8:08 a.m. — More meetings
8:20 a.m. — Screaming during my call. I hiss at them to both STFU. REPEATEDLY. At this point, I am at my wit’s end and having to be CALM on the call, switch back to my not natural language (French), and say: “Sorry, can you please repeat that?“…%!(%!#%#!*$@@*$@*%&@!%&@!(%@!(%(!%*(!%
At this point in time, I hate both of them. I HATE THEM BOTH AND HATE THIS STUPID WORK FROM HOME SETUP where I can’t just go into a room, shut the door, lock it and be in peace.
I also am handling home schooling on the side, Little Bun has questions, he doesn’t understand some of what they mean, and I take it for granted, having gone through the schooling system to know what they are referring to. ARRRRRGGGGG
9:45 a.m. — A BREAK! Little Bun of course, chooses to have a second epic meltdown in fighting with my partner who says he doesn’t feel like he gets the attention because once Little Bun gets into the room, my brain switches to him, and I have to stop talking to my partner. This is partly true. I can’t help it, I can’t turn it off. But EVERYONE HAS TO UNDERSTAND that I am caught in between working, personal life, Little Bun and my partner. I have so many things pulling at me at once that I simply cannot handle this.
9:51 a.m. — He is about to pop he tells me. “I am about to pop Mommy. I AM CLOSE TO POPPING. I don’t want to give a heart to Daddy AT ALL today.”…. and I manage to diffuse him by shifting him into the bedroom and asking how many minutes he wants quiet time for to calm down. 10? 15? I set the timer at his requested 15 minutes and go back out. I close the bedroom door, and do not disturb him. It’s like he is doing his own time out.
As for my partner, I snap at him to not escalate the situation but I can see he is frustrated too. AS AM I. I AM LIVING MY WORST HELL RIGHT NOW WITH THE TWO OF THEM.
He has to stop yelling at him and triggering him, and Little Bun has to calm TF down too. BOTH OF THEM NEED TO STFU AND CALM TF DOWN because if not, then I WILL POP.
9:55 a.m. — Back on the call.
11:20 a.m. — A break. I tell Little Bun if his pages are done by noon we have a whole hour of Upcycling I can do with him while on my break (I have another call at 1). He starts working through his Activity Book list which is one page of each of these every morning from either of our two books:
- Social Studies
12:00 p.m. — Done in time, he eagerly colours in his blocks for the pages finished by date (he really likes the schedule I made up for him with the dates and blocks to colour in to keep track of what he has done rather than saying “3 pages of anything you want”, because he’d choose math all day long), and tells me he is finished.
12:01 p.m. — In the closet.
1:00 p.m. — Time for his nap. My call is starting, I log in. I need to buy wireless headphones I cannot be chained to my laptop, this is painful. I quickly check reviews and pick up this wireless headset. $149.46 (but it is $50 USD)
1:30 p.m. — I take a break after my call, eat some gummies, and call a friend to vent.
3:50 p.m. — This is so incredibly true.
5:17 p.m. — I lie down and read my book for the night in between playing with Little Bun and snuggling.
6:22 p.m. — Time for dinner. We have dinner and Little Bun stuffs his face happily. He loves bread, and dipping it in balsamic vinegar to soak it up and scarf it down.
7:30 p.m. — I go and take a long shower.
8:2451 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up rather tired. I sleep enough-ish but Little Bun is very wiggly, and it wakes me up.
5:19 a.m. — I log in and start working. Everyone is working earlier today in anticipation for the long weekend.
6:00 a.m. — I make a cup of tea and drink it as I am on a call.
7:20 a.m. — I take another break before my next call. I am ending my day early today.
9:44 a.m. — I love these looks:
I am not into the shirt full of holes, but I like everything else..
I think I just like the red skirt and this carpet bag:
And this looks great for cycling around! Very comfortable and cute.
12:08 p.m. — I log off for the day.
1:05 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for a nap and I start reading a book about the way American foods like oysters and so on have evolved.
2:56 p.m. — Little Bun is up from his nap.
4:03 p.m. — We head out on the balcony after I clean up my desk, and Little Bun and I draw in chalk on the balcony, making pictures.
5:33 p.m. — We head back inside, time for dinner, and then I let him finish watching Arthur and I sit there, listless. I have things to do. I have things in my head. I have to work through them, and I don’t know where to start. I think I should make a list of everything I am sad, anxious or feeling guilty about and breathe.
- Covid = when will it be over? Look at statistics
- Vaccinations = full ones percentage for Canada where are we at?
- Donate = more stuff to get rid of
- Upcycling projects = how to store them
- Rat’s nest of wires and desk papers = clean up
- Go through closet = remove items I will no longer wear (maybe)
- More outfit shots
- Future wardrobe/closet planning
- What to do with computer – replace battery? when?
- Sending invoices – have to check on payments
- Log into bank accounts, plan future spending, municipal bills are coming up
6:47 p.m. — I text back and forth with my friends all night. It’s nice to have this to be able to stay connected with friends.
8:56 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up tired. Again. But we slept in.
7:00 a.m. — I log in, check banking as I go. I always feel like I don’t remember how much or what has to be done at the end of the month but this is nonsense, I have it under control. There’s just always a fear that I am forgetting something.
7:59 a.m. — I drink my cup of tea.
8:28 a.m. — Time for a light breakfast – yoghurt.
11:30 a.m. — Lunch time. I finish last night’s dinner with extra quinoa.
12:08 p.m. — Some pictures of food are just so beautiful. I take a lot of inspiration in terms of colours and composition from just seeing how food goes so well together. These are not what I ate by the way… at all. I first of all, hate melons (the dish is noodles with melon balls and peas)
And this is just a simple fruit and vegetable salad. SO PRETTY. The colours are very beautiful together.
12:47 p.m. — I wake up from a light nap.
1:04 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for his nap: “MOMMYY!!!!! It’s time for my nap.” He pushes at my back and bum to get me to leave the bedroom because it’s his and Daddy’s time to nap together.
1:58 p.m. — I am watching episodes of The Rookie – it has Nathan Fillion in it, and his action is fabulous. Plus this is his show, he produces it and it’s starting to get interesting about how cops and district attorneys try/mitigate the legal system and the nuances of working in each, which sheds light onto why / how people get booked or charged on felonies and how they can change from a simple shoplifting thing to a major crime that causes more heartache.
2:59 p.m. — Little Bun is up, I have a cup of tea, and then Little Bun snuggles me in my lap. He tells me: “WHEEEE!!!! MOMMy!!!”
6:59 p.m. — I have a light yoghurt for dinner.
8:41 p.m. — Time for bed.
??:?? — I wake up tired again. This is a recurring theme. I think I need to sleep in at 8 a.m. and Little Bun won’t let me.
6:00 a.m. — I make a cup of tea, and drink it slowly as I read my book.
6:20 a.m. — Little Bun runs around making up stories with blocks, asking me to bowl with him (he makes a bowling ball out of socks).
7:08 a.m. — I do my yoga, getting back into it as much as I can.
9:12 a.m. — We are in the closet upcycling. Little Bun has such great ideas, and we are working on new pieces together. I organize out all of my stones for upcycling to get ideas:
11:10 a.m. — Time for lunch.
1:03 p.m. — Down for his nap.
2:56 p.m. — I rather like the look of this massive art piece that looks like a necklace, against the concrete and the kind of clean lines of the space:
And I like this really pretty kitchen with simple dishes to the side:
3:25 p.m. — He really slept in.
4:16 a.m. — We head out onto the balcony and he finds a dead ladybug which he dissects with his fingers and excitedly explains to me what he finds
4:28 p.m. — My partner and I have an epic quarrel. It goes on for a good hour and a half, and Little Bun comes up with games like:
NO TALKING FOR A MINUTE.
NO SCREAMING FOR A MINUTE.
We both lose of course.
He is red-faced in this picture because he tells me he wasn’t a grumpy head, but he was trying to buffer between us to stop us from screaming. When we talk loudly (even if we’re not angry but intense), he calls us grumpyheads.
And this is an unusual fight for us (personal matter), and it surprises him because we never scream at each other like this. I can’t remember the last time we screamed at each other like this. Maybe a year and a half ago.
He was just really upset that we were upset. He wants us to be happy and not yell at each other. But sometimes, fights are cathartic and necessary.
He started doing diary pages as a way to note news, and other ideas.
6:56 p.m. — In the closet, we are arranging things and upcycling, and he loves these two rings I have, so he makes a game out of them.
7:24 p.m. — Dinner time, I do laundry, we clean up….
9:17 p.m. — Time for bed.
Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.