In Budgeting, Canada, Discussions, Money, Week of Money Diary

Week of Money: I write my fourth book ‘Managing Money Like a Boss’ in record time

DAY ONE

??:?? — My scalp is so itchy. I have been trying to fix my scalp on my own without buying anything, but apparently dandruff requires treatment. So, I sucked it up. I’ll keep the shampoo for any future outbreaks once I am cured.

??:?? — Tired.. but .. awake? Little Bun is whispering in my ear: Mommy I am awake. I be awake. I am the awake. Kid could be a Yoda in the making.

6:23 a.m. — I make tea and enjoy it while the sun rises, even though Little Bun is bleating in the corner, making up his own games and noises.

7:59 a.m. — I get an email from my father asking for money for the “extra internet we used” when we were there for the summer. Are you kidding me? I already gave $400 for the utilities, PLUS I bought them a new Dyson because my mother is old, arthritic and should not be lugging around a heavy vacuum up and down 3 flights of stairs. My father does f*#% all to help her clean or do anything in the home because “he is the man”, and on top of that, my mom works full-time and PAYS ALL THE DAMN BILLS IN THE HOUSE. He has ZERO need for this money, and there is no way $400 is not enough to cover $150 in internet overage. That leaves $250 for extra water, electricity usage for 2 months, which is about $125 a month. THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.

8:08 a.m. — Still fuming. Don’t even COME AT ME with asking for that money. When they come and visit, do I ask for them to pay for anything? NO. I cover on my own, 3 meals a day for 5 adults and a child that eats like a grown adult, and I pay for EVERYTHING. I don’t ask him or them for any money, and I only let them pay once in a while if they insist. Even though I make good money, I don’t make it when I don’t work, and I saved it. Where the f#%*# is this extra money I would give him go? To GAMBLING. He would use it to buy lottery tickets. I might as well burn the money and toast marshmallows.

(Extra background reading: My parents won the lottery them wasted it gambling on themselves)

(Longer post reading: Some people are never going to change.)

8:50 a.m. — Little Bun throws a third tantrum. I was going to take him out to Ikea to play, but he is just not fit to be in public today. He loses his ##$*@ when I undress and tell him we aren’t going out because he doesn’t know how to behave inside, so he cannot behave outside. He is crying, and crying and crying.

10:10 a.m. — Calming down. Drank my tea. He is calm now. When Mommy says “No” it is no, and I do not want to drag this temper tantrum-filled, tired child through Ikea only to then take him home kicking and screaming because he doesn’t want to leave. Been there, done that, NOT DOING IT AGAIN. I will go out alone however.. later.

11:28 a.m. — I take a shower and use the dandruff shampoo. My whole scalp tingles, I hope it means it is working. I will use it for 2 weeks and then see if I can go back to my own shampoo… I tried to let the dandruff “cure itself” on its own but it was not working, my head was so itchy last night that I couldn’t sleep.


12:24 p.m. — My partner is at school but once he is home, I am heading out for a break.

4:15 p.m. — I go out, drop off a return, try to look for a 20 oz mug so I can use it for my free Venti rewards at Starbucks, and then come home.

7:28 p.m. — Dinner. I play on the floor with Little Bun with blocks and he reads books with his father.

8:56 p.m. — Time for bed.

Spent: $0

DAY TWO

??:?? — Screaming. He is cold. I re-wrap him.

??:?? — He is cold, so I wrap him in my warm blanket, and half freeze instead.

6:20 a.m. — Tired. At least the clouds are pretty. Little Bun loves watching the sun rise.

8:00 a.m. — “Mommy. The clouds are sunblockers.” …..  How can you dispute the wisdom of children!? 🙂

9:15 a.m. — I work more on my book.

11:08 a.m. — Lunch. He gets pasta, cheese, and I eat some red cabbage, quinoa and some plant-based burgers on top. Officially obsessed with Beyond Meat. For $8 for two patties, that’s $4 a meal, and completely 100% worth it for me. I know people are saying — if you want to NOT eat meat, then DON’T EAT IT… but let me tell you, I still enjoy meat and seafood, and this is very difficult for me to transition over. This is a game changer for me. Having products like this, with no soy or gluten, and are GMO free, really makes it so much easier.

I even PREFER the taste of this over a regular burger patty which I find kind of greasy yet dry in texture. I still enjoy burgers that aren’t meaty (e.g. mushroom burgers), but when you crave meat, this hits the spot if you don’t want to eat it. I don’t feel tired after eating it either, which I do when I eat meat these days.

12:40 p.m. — Time for his nap. He goes down but doesn’t really want to nap. I let him up after an hour of quiet time and I take a phone call.

1:43 p.m. — He is up, and super happy. Let’s see how long this lasts.. he is finally transitioning out of the nap but I still make him go down for an hour for quiet time. He seems to be napping every other day now, but not every day.

2:30 p.m. — I make more smoothies with a little bit of spinach because I don’t want the flavour to be too strong… Little Bun hates my smoothies because of the spinach. All the more for me.

5:47 p.m. — My partner is home. His commute is 2 hours to the college and 2 hours back by bus. O_o

6:26 p.m. — I may need to get off Instagram. I am really too far gone and constantly checking it, it isn’t healthy. I need a break, and I schedule a few posts to get that break.

8:30 p.m. — Time for bed. He is really really really tiring me, whiny, and transitioning out of a nap so he is tired tonight. I am exhausted.

Spent: $0

DAY THREE

??:?? — “Mommy. MOMMY. MOMMY. I am awake. I want to wake up to see the sunrise.” Groan. Why did I teach him that.

5:56 a.m. — Bleary-eyed, loving the quiet, and a little boy silently sitting on your lap, smiling at the sky and being so excited to see everything turn into different colours and lighten up, this is a very, very special moment. I am tired, but it is sort of worth it.

8:08 a.m. — I am half dozing on the bed. I have no idea what happened. He could have drawn on my face, I was so out of it. He also very kindly let me have the time to myself to nap because I told him how tired I was, and I needed just a little snooze, so he played by himself quietly.

8:39 a.m. — That didn’t last long. But I do feel better….A little more rested.

12:28 p.m. — Lunch.

3:06 p.m. — While Little Bun naps, book is being worked on – Manage Money Like a Boss. I hustled like a BOSS and finished it in about.. a few weeks. The royalties, I won’t lie, are basically a few bucks. Every time you buy the book, I get about $2. So.. yeah, very very lean. I can’t go any lower, frankly with all of my new book prices on Amazon.

7:39 p.m. — I finish publishing and setting up the book, my author page on Amazon, omg. So much to do. This stuff has sucked up hours and almost all of my free time, while playing and handling Little Bun. Maybe I can finally take a break? Or not. I already have another book idea in my head.

9:13 p.m. — Time for bed.

Spent: $0

DAY FOUR

??:?? — He is freezing cold, but refuses to keep his blankets on, he wiggles so much when he sleeps… I have to blearily get up and re-tuck him in.

??:?? — TWICE. I am tucking him in AGAIN.

6:00 a.m. — Tired. Do I feel like taking him to a playgroup? Not really….

8:19 a.m. — I drop off a return. -$25.48

8:47 a.m. — I get home, and decide to take him to the playgroup.

9:05 a.m. — Wow. Only 2 kids here, great. I love a low key playgroup…

9:30 a.m. — I sit and chat with a mother I really liked from a few years ago, and she REMEMBERED ME. I didn’t remember her, she looked different.. but familiar.

11:48 a.m. — Playgroup over. I leave before I get a parking ticket (it starts at noon).

12:28 p.m. — Lunch done, I eat more of my plant-based patty with quinoa and red cabbage (yum), and Little Bun attempts a nap.

1:10 p.m. — I take another call. There is a contract coming, they want to offer me $30K less than what I normally take. I am not keen on it, and it isn’t my specialty.. but it is a yearlong contract… Oh well, we will see.

2:30 p.m. — Little Bun is not napping. I let him up. He points at the clock – Mommy I stayed in the room until 14:30... As long as I get a break, and he gets quiet time (whether he naps or not), it is fine for me. I am feeling really run down though… I need a great sleep tonight or else I will be ruined tomorrow.

5:49 p.m. — My partner is home and grumbling about the transit. It IS a long time, but he has a lot of connections and two buses so …. yeah. I tell him to suck it up.

6:17 p.m. — I do all the dishes, and try to get energy back into my brain, I feel so tired right now and sluggish.


8:47 p.m. — Time for bed.

Returned: $25.48

Spent: $0

DAY FIVE

??:?? — I slept well but… not really. It is like I can’t seem to catch my breath but in sleeping if that makes sense.

6:00 a.m. — I lie in bed, refusing to get up. Little Bun goes to his father and asks for milk, and gets settled in. I lie there.

8:26 a.m. — My partner is not going to his classes today, so I head out to run errands:

  • Dropped off another Poshmark sale (referral code SHERRYISH)
  • Withdrew $440 to pay for the car detailing tomorrow and my much-waited massage

9:33 a.m. — I am at the store waiting to pick up a few things and I realize they open at ELEVEN. ELEVEN!?… I am not waiting here an hour and a half. I’m hangry. Should I go get a lunch? NO. HOLD STRONG.

9:49 a.m. — I head to the grocery store, buy a slab of salmon – do not ask me why; I have been dreaming about eating salmon for a week now.. and I come home ‘early’ to eat lunch. I successfully avoided ‘treating myself’ while waiting for the store to open. I am holding strong to my $200 budget, of which only about $37 is left and we aren’t even midway through the month. O_o

11:15 a.m. — I was listening to Taylor Swift’s – The Man, and happened to come across this artist Ryland James – In my head whose voice I love:

I liked Taylor’s lyrics for the song, but I don’t love the melody. Nevertheless, powerful words:

I’d be a fearless leader
I’d be an alpha type
When everyone believes ya
What’s that like?

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man
And I’m so sick of them coming at me again
‘Cause if I was a man, then I’d be the man
I’d be the man
I’d be the man

They’d say I hustled, put in the work
They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve
What I was wearing, if I was rude
Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves

What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars
And getting bitches and models?
And it’s all good if you’re bad
And it’s okay if you’re mad
If I was out flashing my dollars
I’d be a bitch, not a baller
They’d paint me out to be bad
So, it’s okay that I’m mad

12:08 p.m. — My partner goes out to run errands instead, and I stay with Little Bun who is giggling like crazy at some crazy Japanese cartoon pandas on YouTube. They seem Japanese to me, I haven’t looked carefully, but he has been starting to talk a lot about what to do if there was an earthquake, and about “doing his best”.. which I suspect comes from these pandas.

12:13 p.m. — We go through a few pages of his “new” book. He has been super hungry for more educational stuff, and I have been buying these Grade 2 Curriculum books. I want to make it through all of the Grade 2 versions out there before advancing onto Grade 3. I can see that he is fuzzy on a few concepts and what’s the point in pushing or rushing him? HE ISN’T EVEN IN BLOODY KINDERGARTEN.

12:50 p.m. — My partner is home. He gets Little Bun down for a nap, and I get ready to go back out.. AGAIN.

2:15 p.m. — I drop off a bunch of things for consignment. Let’s hope they sell. I pick up some things that didn’t sell and will try on Poshmark or maybe another consignment shop. I was really resisting trying on a few items in there because I saw a gorgeous Armani cashmere charcoal sweater, and it was $200 (basically my entire “fun” budget), and I swore off spending money on things, so I put it back on the rack.

3:27 p.m. — I get on a call with a friend having a tough time with money issues with her husband, and we talk it out. Let’s just say money and finances no matter how much you make, are wrought with emotion and extremely tricky with family members in play. I am soooo thirsty.. should I get a drink? NO. HOLD STRONG. There is FREE WATER AT HOME.

5:11 p.m. — Home. Little Bun tells me it is 17:00 and it is time to go play soccer. WHAAAAT?? My heart is beating so fast, can this be coming true? WILL I BE LEFT ALONE IN THE APARTMENT FOR OVER AN OVER? What ever shall I do with myself!?

5:28 p.m. — My partner goes and breaks a glass bottle. It literally SHATTERS. I can hear it from the hallway. Resigned, I entertain Little Bun who is so excited to go play, he is hopping around and can’t sit still. We do lots of math equations, and after the 15th one, he says: Mommy. Shh. Now we wait for Daddy. …. I guess I’ve been told. No more math.

5:31 p.m. — THEY ARE OFF. I AM SO HAPPY. OMG. WHAT DO I DO FIRST?… I turn on Top Chef (love this show, food + competition? DONE.), and eat a butter croissant.

5:49 p.m. — I make some noodles, still felt hungry. Last night I didn’t eat an extra dinner and my stomach grumbled all night.

6:22 p.m. — I also plan on making cashew smoothies tomorrow… I am sort of low-key addicted to cashew milk with a few dates in there. I call them smoothies? .. When really, I just think people call it cashew milk with dates. 😛

6:44 p.m. — I ALSO have a masseuse coming to my house tomorrow (I am not fancy, I promise – she has no studio / place to meet clients, so she is the one asking to come over), and then I am taking my car to be detailed for a few hours. I will be reading in a cafe nearby. While the masseuse is over, Little Bun will be at a playgroup, and my partner will be in school. Let’s cross our fingers no one needs me while I get my back untwisted and my shoulder loose again.

6:49 p.m. — They’re back. It felt so short. SO SHORT LIVED. *little sob*….. This is truly a mother’s dream, to be left alone in an apartment for a few hours a day, with her thoughts and silence. 🙁

8:49 p.m. — Time for bed. He is tuckered out. I love it when he runs and runs and has fun. I hope this becomes a regular Thursday thing. We only have a few weeks left before snow hits / gets too cold, so … chop chop Daddy, get on this soccer thing with your son. I think he did this because I was half-screaming and half in tears yesterday yelling that I had NO HELP AT ALL, and he was ON ME 24/7 like the plague. I NEEDED A BREAK. I am GLAD HE LISTENED. I just wish it wasn’t just a one-off and only when I am half driven to madness.

Spent: $0

DAY SIX

??:?? — I wake up and try to organize my day. Timelines are short, I have to drop Little Bun off, come home, get a massage, quickly shower, pick him up, then come home, and head out for my car detailing.

6:10 a.m. — Yes.. I am READY.

7:59 a.m. — Drop off goes well,

10:08 a.m. — MASSEUSE TIME!! $95

11:15 a.m. — I feel so incredibly good. My whole back and shoulders have relaxed, and it is like 10 pounds has lifted off. I am certain to feel the pain tomorrow, she used some rolly metal device on my knots and I KNOW it will be painful afterwards.

11:40 a.m. — Fast shower, hop in the car, and I grab Little Bun.

1:08 p.m. — I head out.

11:25 a.m. — Oh I LOVE this dress from a Vancouver brand – complexgeometries.. <3 The draping at the back, the folds in front, you could belt it or leave it open…

2:16 p.m. — CAR DETAILING TIME! I cannot wait to have a clean, leather conditioned, completely brand-new-ish to me car because while my partner is great… he doesn’t really do things like clay bar the car, and all this other car stuff guys are into. He just cleans it, well.. but he just cleans it. These people do the clay, the waxing… *shrug* I am willing to pay. $320

7:05 p.m. — The detailing took a long ass time. About 4 hours. Next time I have to plan to not be back until 7 at least, this always seems to be the case, but it is still cheaper to pay them than any other detailer in the city so far. Also, I spent 40 minutes putting everything back to where it was – I put it in bags and boxes, and I unpack it all, and I even hook in the car seat again (yeah ME! I reverse engineered how it was done when I took it apart).

7:10 p.m. — Little Bun is almost in tears at the door. “Mommy, I wanted to play soccer today…” … I guess my partner didn’t know and was waiting for me to come back so I could ‘relax’ at home while he took him out, and didn’t get my messages. Little Bun was waiting and waiting, and the detailing took so long that I didn’t come back until 2 hours later than I had planned. I feel terrible. I hug him.. and remind him that we have a cake tomorrow that Daddy is baking and he perks up a bit.

7:57 p.m. — Little Bun informs me that because there is a cake tomorrow, he cannot play soccer because if he goes out to eat and leaves Mommy at home with the cake, he may not get any. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I am laughing, I tell him I’d never steal his share of the cake!!!!!! ….. Where did he learn this!? My partner pipes up — “He just watches you EAT! That’s how!!!” .. LOL.

8:20 p.m. — Oh, and apparently he is going to play soccer the day after instead. Because tomorrow is Cake Day.

8:45 p.m. — Bedtime.

Spent: $415

DAY SEVEN

6:50 a.m. — Apparently we are watching the sunrise.

8:11 a.m. — My partner heads out for the day, and I make cashew milk after I have my tea. It is the only thing kind of stopping my major sugar cravings, and I am slowly weaning myself off sugar treats…

8:40 a.m. — I get my week organized, and play with Little Bun, doing exercises (he loves this) and colouring.

10:18 a.m. — Little Bun gets fed a huge early lunch.

12:08 p.m. — My partner is home.

2:07 p.m. — I head out to sell my trench coat. After having Little Bun I can no longer fit into the coat at the shoulders. My whole body is smaller than my shoulders (inverted triangle shape), and I let the coat go.

4:15 p.m. — $1100 in my pocket. SWEET! +$1100

5:00 p.m. — I had to drive basically 1.5 hours (including traffic) to get to her and it looked stunning on her.

6:26 p.m. — Home! I wave the bills excitedly. We have dinner and chat about not buying substitutes – that the real thing, including Burberry coats are worth every penny.

8:04 p.m. — Time for bed,

Earned: $1100

Spent: $0

———-

Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have paid my $600K home in cash (my half was $300K), my $180K casr in cash, worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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2 Comments

  1. me

    I I am so curious about logistics and the intersection of feelings! You commented on your partner taking transit to school instead of a car – do you feel like he is being selfish complaining about his commute when he could just…drive? Are you annoyed that the extra time it takes to commute puts more of a burden on you?

    I think last week you talked about not putting your kid in school this year – does your partner realize he is essentially transferring even more of a burden on to you? Is he willing to step up and make sure he is lifting some of that burden? Like I said – i’m just so curious how you navigate this!

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I am struggling with it, to be honest.

      On the one hand, I am totally fine taking it up and doing the commute to pick up and drop off, only because my job is so flexible and my commute isn’t THAT far, that it is fine. If my commute was over an hour and stuck on a 1-lane highway, then yeah, I’d be pretty annoyed.

      For me, it is not that much of a stretch, only because it is so close to home, I could drop him early, and have some “Me” time before work at a Starbucks, and then after work, do my own thing, and then pick him up later if I wanted, or come home, hang out, do my thing, then go and get him.

      My partner is taking the metro instead of a car because there is no parking where he is downtown and it is very expensive to boot. He’s paying for all that, so he chose his 1-hour commute.

      On the other hand, I do feel like I am taking on most if not all of the burden, especially with him deciding to always be at home with him (either one of us) rather than seeing the benefit of having him in a daycare and to give us some alone / me time, which he doesn’t seem to need any of because our son is ALWAYS WITH ME and not with him, so he doesn’t have that mental burden, does that make sense?

      He is willing to step up in some sense. We have had some major fights about this, and I will continue to scream “HELP ME”. He has not, in my opinion, stepped up enough. Being in the same room with a kid and not interacting with them, is not time spent. Then, if he wants to get on my case with me letting Little Bun watch videos while I have some alone time, HE better step up and take Little Bun instead, because now the videos have become the de facto babysitter, so to speak.

      I am feeling a little frustrated. I think going to work will help me mentally, but it will also exhaust me and I will have less of a mental capacity to be with Little Bun, although he will get stimulated in daycare so at least I won’t feel guilty on that front.

      Lots of emotions. Torn in many directions. Taking it one day at a time, and we will see. If things change, I’ll be screaming again.

      Reply

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