Week of Money: And now I wait. Hope these contracts don’t ghost me.

DAY ONE

??:?? — Tired. Little Bun is up though.

6:20 a.m. — I wake up to the (as predicted), kitchen full of dirty pots and pans. I decide to leave them for the afternoon, it is too early for this. I log into Instagram and am pleasantly surprised at the response to the #ILookLikeAnInvestor Posts! I love and support this movement of showing other women that you don’t need to be fancy to invest. I do think that most women tend to stick to low to medium risk investments, whereas I am okay with a little more risk because I have the money to lose, so to speak, hence the small business lending, currency hedging… etc.

7:19 a.m. — I tell Little Bun to behave or I won’t take him to playgroup today. He behaves. We play on the floor with the blocks building homes for our little dogs made out of blocks.

8:28 a.m. — We get ready to go, and I drive slow and leisurely. I don’t like rushing which is why I like coming early.

8:28 a.m. — I pick up some confit pork cheeks I have been meaning to try because I have had this craving. $11.99

12:05 p.m. — Home. Before eating (I am STARVING), I have to start laundry, get Little Bun’s lunch out, soak the cashews and dates for a smoothie, clean up a little, and I am bustling around trying to get it all done, while defrosting my lunch. I am literally HANGRY AT THIS POINT.

12:25 p.m. — Little Bun eats reluctantly because it is tomato soup and he wants pasta or bread which is very hard on his belly, and we have been trying to limit it. I finally get to eat as well, and I make the cashew/date smoothie for later.

1:22 p.m. — Little Bun goes down for his nap. He NEEDS it.

1:45 p.m. — I go to check on him and he is wiggling around. I tell him to close his eyes, stop moving around and PLEASE NAP or else he will be terrible this afternoon.

2:20 p.m. — He’s napping. Finally.

2:59 p.m. — He wakes up screaming and crying. I finally realize after 15 minutes that he had to go to the bathroom and he woke up IN the middle of his nap which makes him extra Grumpy Grumpkins right now. CHRIST.

3:30 p.m. — He is inconsolable. Even after milk. I get him some pasta. Then a banana. He is just… terrible. It isn’t until I threaten no morning playgroup tomorrow that he calms down and moves off to leave me alone while I finish doing all the dishes and drying them.

4:50 p.m. — Dishes all done, dried, pots washed, scrubbed, kitchen cleaned from head to toe (tomato soup makes major splatter), and he is doing English nicely beside me.

5:01 p.m. — My partner is home. It is rainy and I have a headache. I plan on lying down soon.

6:49 p.m. — I start stretching in the dark in the bedroom. Just working out my back. My right side is still sort of achey.

8:40 p.m. — He LOSES it when his father goes to help him in the bathroom, and says he wanted MOMMY ONLY to do it (oh not this phase again). I get him calm, and sit down with him after coaxing him in to tell him it is about Mommy and Daddy (to which he bursts out in tears with: NO! IT IS ABOUT ME !!! I KNOW IT IS), and I very gently explain how Mommy has a battery. Right now, Mommy’s battery is at 10%. When Daddy plays with him, or does things with him, it helps bring Mommy’s battery up to at least 13% and makes her feel better. “Mommy needs breaks to recharge“, I tell him.

8:40 p.m. — Time for bed, after some English work (he asked for it, not me), and playing with blocks and he is now, giving me breaks… and sort of not hassling me as much as before.

Spent: $11.99

DAY TWO

??:?? — Little Bun squealing.

??:?? — Little Bun squealing.

??:?? — Little Bun squealing.

??:?? — Little Bun squealing.

??:?? — My whole back is twisting. OW. I want to book another massage but I am not yet at the end of the month and I am really, really trying to stick to my (busted by $2) budget of $200 fun money a month.

6:00 a.m. — I am dead. Like zombie dead. I tell Little Bun my battery is at 70% today, and that’s being generous. He nods, and gives me space as I work out what to do, and what to get done.

6:20 a.m. — I make tea and drink it while going through my emails and making notes. Plus, I have wanted to study a few more stocks, and there is one in particular that is driving me crazy. Why is it dropping so fast so low? Is it just investor emotion? Is there something I am missing? Why is it not valued where it should be? The financials look GREAT. I must be missing something. I hold off on buying the stock at its depressed levels.

7:13 a.m. — I feel surprisingly busy even though I am not working, and I think it is because I am so concentrated on getting my blog shored up for the next few months in case I get a contract, and making sure my social media game is solid to handle being on its own without much care. I am churning out content as much as I can to pre-schedule it all.

8:16 a.m. — We drop off some packages of returns.

9:47 a.m. — I am on the phone trying to get a refund on an UNDELIVERED package. I finally get frustrated and call my credit card company to dispute the transaction. Post on that coming some time when I can write down all the notes/things I’ve learned about disputes.

10:35 a.m. — Oh this coat Alex Sykes is wearing, is just STUNNING. I love the collar, the cut, the drape..  I wish I knew what brand to look for.. it looks bit Rick Owens-esque .. Or Theory. I don’t know, but if you do…. *hearts*

12:15 p.m. — We head home, and I feed him his vegetable soup.

2:15 p.m. — He wakes up grumpy in the middle of his nap having to go to the bathroom. I think soup before sleeping is a bad idea, it makes him wake up to go to the bathroom and cut his nap short. We will do soup after his nap.

2:40 p.m. — It is too late for this week – I have a dentist appointment anyway, but I ask if she’ll move it up a week.

3:57 p.m. — WHOA. The stock went even lower than my original purchase price. I mean it has really plummeted, 12% over the day. I’ll check it on it tomorrow but I am glad I didn’t buy any. I would have lost a chunk in a day.

5:40 p.m. — I head downstairs to prep for a podcast taping. They contacted me and … I am talking!

6:24 p.m. — Ready to go.

7:40 p.m. — Done! I’m excited. Once it launches, I’ll let you all listen to it.

8:44 p.m. — Time for bed. Little Bun is really not able to last any longer

Spent: $0

DAY THREE

??:?? — It is SO DARK OUTSIDE. WHY IS HE AWAKE. At least I slept.

6:00 a.m. — I get up and make tea. I might as well, it is dark, it is quiet, and perfect for a little “me” time before he starts clinging and whining for me.

7:25 a.m. — We had a rough AF morning. He is just.. he was just ridiculously whiny, and it is wearing down my patience which made me snap at my partner who tried to “offer solutions” (WTF, NO.) by saying “well he doesn’t whine with ME“… I said — YEAH BECAUSE HE IS WITH ME ALL THE TIME. And CLOSER to me. I finally just cut him off, tired, and say — I am asking YOU for help. I am asking YOU to step in and take him, and play with him, and be present with him.

8:15 a.m. — We head out to playgroup. He has been really looking forward to it and loves going so… we go.

8:59 a.m. — Pouring RAIN. Plus, he starts in the playgroup this Little Chefs thing, and makes an easy apple crumble, along with some almond milk (which by the way, totally needs dates or something because it just tastes like water).

10:28 a.m. — They also got a massive donation from a charity, and for some photo ops, Little Bun is in them in their new arts centre. *shrug* Fine by me. I come for free, so I am happy to lend his cute mug.

11:05 a.m. — We get a chance to eat the crumble and it is SO GOOD. I think I could totally do this myself at home.

11:28 p.m. — We have a serious MELTDOWN because I left his jacket in the room, and as we were going back up to get it, he stopped on the stairs. I asked him if he wanted to get it, he didn’t reply and just stood there, so I went up on my own and got it. Commence…. meltdown. I finally get it out of him 20 minutes later that he wanted to come up WITH me, HOLDING my hand, to go get the jacket in the classroom, and not for me to go get it alone, with him waiting alone on the stairs.

11:36 p.m. — I kid you not, 10 minutes of epic meltdown over this. I finally get him calmed down and explain that I didn’t know that’s what he wanted because he didn’t tell me and I also said that I would wait the next time for his answer before assuming what he wanted. He sniffles in the backseat on the way home.

11:43 p.m. — Still upset. I ask him what colour he is, he says he is happy but a bit blue from what Mommy did.

12:15 p.m. — Home. I give him a banana because I don’t want him waking up in the middle of his nap. I ask him how he is, and he finally says he is happy and not sad at all. I tell him it is okay to be sad, I just didn’t know and I need him to communicate more to me so that I know.

12:45 p.m. — He is studying my Weather app on the iPhone and intently staring at the clock, literally STARING at the minutes ticking down. The MINUTE it his 13:00 he says — MOMMY. It is now raining in Toronto! By why didn’t the app update? I don’t see rain…… I have to explain to him that 40% chance of rain at 13:00 doesn’t mean it will actually rain, and it is a PROBABLE guess of when it MIGHT rain but it doesn’t mean it will and explain it with my fingers.

1:05 p.m. — He very sweetly goes down for his nap, processing this information about probabilities of weather and how a weather report can be SO INACCURATE all the time (LOL). He was so grumpy when we left, I knew he needed a nap. He does need it. And when I check on him later, he is fast asleep. I think he is a little sick, and also just … grumpy from not having a nap.

2:22 p.m. — He squeals in the bedroom. I rush to him, but he just turns over and I adjust his blanket, and pat him a little, and he falls back asleep.

3:46 p.m. — Pretty sure I have an interview tomorrow morning, so before playgroup I’ll need to dress up like a boss and then bring a laptop and do the Skype interview somewhere in a room while Little Bun is playing.

AT LEAST I DIDN’T GET GHOSTED.

Let’s hope I land this job!

5:00 p.m. — I get ready to head out to an event. I never go to these things, but I am going with a (hopefully) new friend and this should be fun. I am one of those super early, nervous-I-will-be-late types, and I text her on when she plans on arriving. Turns out, she is just as neurotic as me, and I eagerly plan to meet up with her earlier so we can chat and say HELLO!

5:28 p.m. — I arrive, and manage to score a spot JUST by the venue. Literally a car was pulling out as I arrived, and I managed to back into the spot perfectly on the corner. I love it when this happens, it is a good sign for tonight.

5:31 p.m. — AHHH! I meet her, and she tells me it is nice to finally see me from the neck up. LOL. She has been an OG reader for a long time, and has only seen me from the neck down which is hilarious, because now she can put an actual face to all of this. I would totally, absolutely post my face on pictures and stuff, but again… I am trying to stay under the radar and not draw too much attention to myself when I go to clients or try to win contracts. I’m super paranoid about this.

5:47 p.m. — We wander around, me on heels on cobblestones no less O_o trying to find a dang parking thing to pay. I cannot believe.. I cannot see one! We walk down the hill, up the hill (omfg I’m so out of shape, I am huffing), only to find a machine….. 20 steps from where I originally parked my car. *face palm* … I should have just checked for one before going, but I was so excited to meet her. I finally pay. $4.50

6:11 p.m. — Well, after that jaunt, I’m now sweaty (LOL), and we go into the event where it is quite cool. We spend time getting to know each other and we click so well I’m a little amazed. I normally am reticent in meeting people offline because I have had a few (VERY FEW) experiences where I felt like we didn’t click, and it was a tiny bit awkward. Basically the person I met, was also another blogger, but she told me the only reason I was “famous” (not with this blog, with my old one), was because I wrote a lot of how-to articles, which… I did not think was the case, but it seemed a bit like a jab in the way she said it. Anyway, NOT THE CASE HERE. We chatter the hours away like chipmunks.

6:18 p.m. — I make up a non-alcoholic drink (half cranberry juice and half ginger ale), and dub it the Sherryish.

6:49 p.m. — I spy a bag on a girl sitting close to us (this is why I never come to events alone, I would have been too awkward just to sit there alone with my phone), and I want to know it. Turns out, it is Fossil and she is a fashion blogger. I sort of love it. The handles, the shoulder strap…. I will look for something similar perhaps. It reminded me of the Alexander Wang Rocco Stud bag which I really liked but the studs on the bottom make it SO. DAMN. HEAVY.

7:30 p.m. — We end up making friends, the three of us. I also find out from our new friend that she is from the Philippines and wanted to become a chemist or a surgeon, but her mother insisted she become a nurse, so she… became a nurse. Also, becoming a nurse was an easy ticket to come to Canada apparently, as the job market is desperate here for them.

7:30 p.m. — I am basically giving the come hither eyes to every server walking by us with food. I eat everything – the pork things, the tuna cubes (SO GOOD), and the cheese and tomato sticks. Everything is delicious, unlike the event I went to in Toronto.

8:10 p.m. — Before the event ends, and I go to drive my new friend (SQUEE!) home because it is raining, late and sketchy, we talk very briefly about money, because I reveal to the new girl we met that I also blog, but mostly about money & style .. & life … & … everything. She perks up when I talk about investing, and the three of us end up getting super excited about it. They want to learn more about it, and I’m so into it, I want to set up a little investing meeting and just talk about it (with many caveats of course, I am no investment advisor….)

8:47 p.m. — I drop her off (thank goodness I took her home, the rain was ridiculous and it was DARK, plus she would have had to walk home a few more blocks after getting to the station) and head home.

9:24 p.m. — Home. I get in the door, and Little Bun runs up to me and says in a tearful voice (no tears though): I don’t want Mommy to go out at night any more. …. apparently he had been waiting the whole time for me to come home because he couldn’t sleep unless I was beside him. Sigh.

9:33 p.m. — I quickly text to say how much I enjoyed meeting them both, but I stupidly have no idea how to text and only message one girl, not the other in this 3-way group message chat thing.

9:40 p.m. — Bedtime.

Spent: $4.50

DAY FOUR

??:?? — Little Bun wakes up and says he needs to go to the bathroom.

??:?? — We get back to the bedroom, he just stands there, and I ask him if he is awake (meaning, ready to wake up and be awake). He opens the curtains and says: OH YES! I am awake! The moon is high in the sky! .. and I grab his milk…

??:?? — My legs are like lead bricks. I did so much handstand practicing yesterday, kicking hard and trying to hold the pose, that I am ACHY.

6:10 a.m. — Okay these people need to give me an interview time. No email. I am not a short order interviewee. I have to slap on a lot of makeup, wear a nice top for the video call, and get into the boss mindset. I email them to let them know I need at least a 4-hour lead time.

6:35 a.m. — I try desperately to drink my HOT tea without Little Bun on my lap, clamouring for my phone to check the weather in 5 different cities, and I finally tell him he has to give me space. I don’t want to spill hot tea on him, and after we are done this, we will go to the playgroup. He immediately shushes.

6:50 a.m. — I finish my tea, he checks the weather app (seriously obsessed with this), and I stretch and do some light yoga to relieve the ache in my legs. I practice a few attempts at handstand, but I can’t seem to get my body up again like before. I shake it off, and wash my face, and brush my teeth. (REALLY love activated charcoal toothpaste in glass tubs, I am really in love with it <3)

6:54 a.m. — I check my credit card statement and realize I have a credit of $9.33 due to a return. Oh, I’ll have to try and use this card …. I make a note, and tuck it into my purse.

7:58 a.m. — We get ready to go to playgroup. I put on makeup and wear a nice top because you never know. I’ll bring my laptop too, just in case. Sigh. Or not. I haven’t decided. ARG WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT. Give me an interview time! Carve out 1/2 an hour and be done with it.

8:30 a.m. — On our way. I wore a little makeup. And a nice shirt. And brought my laptop. Of course I did.

9:11 a.m. — I get there, and then get an email saying it will be for next week. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. What a waste of makeup. At least Little Bun is happy. I leave him and head off, looking like a million bucks, heading to the thrift store.

10:06 a.m. — Return the Cuppow lid, I need one for wide mouth mason jars, not this one. +$10.35

10:16 a.m. — This Troll doll is hideous. And scary.

10:24 a.m. — Then I turn around and spend it on a hot chocolate and a bagel sandwich. Stress eating again. It’s a real thing look it up. I’m a walking example. I have to stop doing this. I even didn’t bring my reusable mug to DISSUADE me from buying anything, and look what happened. Weak as a kitten. $7.50

10:42 a.m. — I browse a few shops, and a thrift store, and see a few cute things… but nothing I am interested in.

10:43 a.m. — Okay I lied. I wanted this jacket but it was 2 sizes too large for me. I LOVE the houndstooth look though, so I’ll be on the lookout for a vintage short-sleeved jacket like this one.

10:46 a.m. — This purse is really beautiful, but.. where and how would I even wear this? $30? It doesn’t even go over my shoulder, I’d have to hold it by my hand. And I don’t think it even fits my phone. It is beautiful though.

10:57 a.m. — OOO! I find THE SKIRT I have been stalking on Poshmark for $60 but for only $5. It is this beautiful white linen & lyocell brand, and I swear it is kismet. I tuck it under my arm to buy.

11:10 a.m. — Oh this crop top that says Good Vibes is cute too. I can imagine wearing this with a leather skirt. I might do it this weekend. I tuck that under my arm as well. It looks like this.

11:15 a.m. —  At the checkout, I pay for the items. See? I already went over budget and now I am making it WORSE by spending. $11

11:40 a.m. — I go and as I enter the building to hang out and wait for my baby boy, Little Bun is heading to the park. I wave goodbye, and finish stuff on my phone (wrote another blog post), while I wait for the time to be up.

12:28 p.m. — I go and pick him up at the park but he turns to me and says softly: I want Mommy to go back to the centre. I want to stay at the park. WHAT!?? LOL .. I just sit down and wait until he finishes playing while I chat and gossip with the coordinator.

12:10 p.m. — OMG. The coordinator tells me the saddest thing. Another parent whom I liked a few years ago, apparently is now caught in a bad situation where her husband had an affair and she basically isn’t able to leave him because:

(A) she cannot get more than a minimum wage job, I think she has a really good STEM degree in chemistry (?) but she had been a stay at home mother since their kids were born, so…. yes, when you’re out of the workforce for 7 years, it shows. She would start at the bottom and work up.

(B) She also isn’t very strong emotionally/mentally. I always saw her as a bit fragile and delicate, and we agreed that she would not be the type who could handle being alone with the two kids, without someone else to help support. She isn’t the type to say: Listen you sonofa…. I am OUT OF HERE.

(C) She got a little hooked onto Adderall (a type of drug for kids for Attention Deficit Disorder). She was in denial that she was hooked but she was clearly out of it and a little manic on the pills.

I hear and have written so many stories around this about working mothers being shamed, and other stories of women I know who are staying because they have no other choice:

• Women need to be dependent on themselves
• Working Mothers: Judging and Shaming Others
• The aftermath of giving up your career to stay at home

12:14 p.m. — I feel terrible for her. I truly do. But it is a great illustration of why you should always have an Exit Plan. You never know what will / could / does happen. I could have never imagined this happening to her, but then again, I never met the husband either so….

12:15 p.m. — Of course just as it is getting juicy, Little Bun gets up and rubs his tummy at the coordinator who doesn’t realize he is sign language-ing her by telling her he is hungry. I ask him if he wants to eat. He says ‘Yes’, but I didn’t bring a banana or anything, so I tell him we have to leave to go home to eat there. He doesn’t want to go.. but he’s hungry…. and eventually he leaves. Hunger wins. Always.

12:56 p.m. — I keep thinking about that parent. It sort of reminds me of the show Why Women Kill, when Beth Ann tries to help her neighbour who is being abused, and her neighbour just turns with tears in her eyes and a sad smile, and says: It must be a wonderful thing. To be strong like you. I wish all women would be strong and know that they will survive it, whatever it may be.

1:12 p.m. — I leave early for my dental appointment. Little Bun kisses and waves me goodbye “Bye Mommyyyyyyy! BYE BYE!!!!” … huge change from when he was a tiny toddler. HUGE. He isn’t always like this, and still has trouble if I am not home when it starts to get dark (like last night), but he is just so sweet.

2:16 p.m. — I sit in the car, and basically browse Poshmark, eying things I might want to save up for, and seeing what else I like.

2:37 p.m. — At my appointment. I really hate the dentist. I know this is unfair, but I do. And I think dental hygienists get the short end of the stick having to clean mouths and teeth all the time, and some of it must quite unappetizing, so I wonder why we don’t tip them too. I mean, I feel like they deserve it.

2:51 p.m. — I am so dumb. Why did I take this stuff from the dentist? This is all plastic. I don’t need / want plastic and am trying my best to avoid it. Dang it. Can I return it? Maybe I should drive back and give it back… or they may not take it.

4:30 p.m. — Home. Little Bun is bouncing around like Tigger. I tell him to behave and Daddy will take him out for soccer. RIGHT DADDY? (Imagine me giving him the side eye right now, burning lasers through the wall.) My partner nods (thank goodness the message of “I am asking you for help“, got through).

4:38 p.m. — Also no word on that interview next week. Why don’t you just hire me and fire me if I suck? (Which I won’t.)

4:50 p.m. — I rub tea tree oil to soak into my hair as I hear them leave to go play soccer. I feel my whole scalp tingle. I am not doing this for any other reason but to destroy this sudden infestation of dandruff I am having. Out of the blue, about a month ago, I started getting FLAKES of dandruff. My scalp itched like no tomorrow, and I finally caved and got some dandruff shampoo which by the way, for a cheap drugstore brand, works beautifully, even better than most commercial shampoos I have used my whole life.

5:19 p.m. — I leave it for about 5 minutes, then I shower. I feel my whole scalp tingling. I am sure this is not a good thing as they say if you can feel it working on your skin/scalp, it means it is irritating it, not helping it. :-/ Still, my scalp no longer itches but why the huge flakes of dry scalp? Something is up.

6:22 p.m. — I have a quick dinner, and drink a cashew smoothie. I am addicted to these things. People think it is so fancy to make cashew milk but really, you just blend it with some water and it’s done. It is not as time-intensive as almond milk.

7:12 p.m. — I feed Little Bun.

7:40 p.m. — This entire outfit is gorgeous. I love the pants and the peplum jacket. Burberry of course. I already own pants like this from Burberry so if I could find a peplum jacket…. It would be kismet!

9:24 p.m. — Time for bed.

Spent: $21.35

Spent: $7.50

DAY FIVE

??:?? — I wake up. Am feeling drowsy. Why is it so dark. OH RIGHT. LITTLE BUN. Grr…

5:47 a.m. — Why are children so perky in the mornings and then so grumpy an hour afterwards? *sob*

6:30 a.m. — Sufficiently caffeinated. I warn him he has to behave or else I will NOT be taking him to his fun playgroup time. He clams up and is a model child.

6:44 a.m. — Little Bun snags my phone for the Weather app. He is truly obsessed with the weather around the world, learning new things like time zones (had to explain to him why Paris was not the same time).

9:11 a.m. — We head out for the playgroup. I like just hanging with the others and chatting, I feel at ease, and I never mention what I do or what I make, just that I am a contractor.

12:15 p.m. — Home, I feed him a banana, and then he goes down for his nap. After checking the Weather app of course to make sure he would know the weather when he wakes up from his nap (??? I know, WTF right. whose child is this??)

2:40 p.m. — Up from his nap, I snuggle his little sweaty body. He squeals: Mommy I am SWEATY. I don’t like sweating when I nap. I tell him it is because he is charging his batteries and that is why he gets so hot and warm. Just like a battery. LOL.

3:03 p.m. — We do a little English together, but he is really resisting writing on his own. I tell him this is for HIM to learn, not me. I already know how to write, he has to learn it, it is part of the workbook.

3:40 p.m. — I do all the dishes, dry them, drink some cashew milk, and sort of randomly tidy up areas, like my desk. I find that when I tidy up an area like my desk, I feel much better.

3:52 p.m. — I also eye the looming pile of receipts I have to scan and name. Groan… I am definitely going to enlist his help to do this for me when I get older, and I’ll pay him for it. It isn’t a home chore, but a Mommy-Hates-Scanning chore, and I will be willing to outsource it for pocket money.

4:22 p.m. — I will do the receipts this week. I’ll put it on my list. Yuck.

5:38 p.m. — My partner is home, and he takes Little Bun out to the park to play soccer. YES!

5:59 p.m. — OH SWEET FREEDOM… I don’t even know what to do with myself. I just end up lying down on the floor, breathing deeply, in a half-pretend yogic but really I am just tired AF resting.

6:17 p.m. — I peel myself off the floor. They are sure to be home soon, it is getting dark.

6:30 p.m. — I have stopped keeping emergency chocolate because I end up just knowing it is there and eating it even if I don’t really want it, and I AM CERTAIN that is how I put on 10 pounds in the past 2 years. No more emergency Kit Kats.. even though I really want one right now.

6:50 p.m. — They’re home. I don’t rush to help undress Little Bun. This is part of me learning to back off, and let my partner handle the child completely on his own instead of helping him. He never thinks to helps me when I get in the door (this is totally EMOTIONAL LABOUR!) so … tit for tat and I am not self-sacrificing and taking this on as a martyr and then getting angry that he never helps me.

7:28 p.m. — Dinner time for him and me, a little more of this new game he invented called: Teddy Math Journey. Basically I sit on the bed, I hold Teddy and before Teddy can take steps or earn bonus rounds, Little Bun has to answer math questions. Mostly addition, and I am teaching him the harder ones like 27 + 38 and asking him to do it in his head mentally without writing it down for him. FOR THE RECORD: I DID NOT INVENT THIS GAME. Little Bun invented it, and loves LOVES playing Teddy Math Journey.

8:47 p.m. — I brush and floss very diligently (I need to seriously have an app slap me to do this twice a day), because I can never keep up on it past 3-4 months. I sort of slack off to once a day… then just brushing, but no flossing which is where I encounter a lot of problems. I’m a terrible dental patient but I should really care more for my teeth. I don’t want fake dentures when I am older, that’s just gross and it never feels the same as when it is your own teeth with nerve endings, etc.

Spent: $0

DAY SIX

??:?? — Little Bun again.

6:00 a.m. — Yeah .. it is early.

6:00 a.m. — Same routine, I make tea, Little Bun runs out and insists on encroaching onto Mommy Tea Time, and I teach him that I need to have this tea, alone, with my iPhone to scroll mindlessly on Instagram, before I am ready to play things like Teddy Math Journey.

6:33 a.m. — Teddy Math Journey time. Then yoga time while he stares at this Weather App (I’m serious.)

8:15 a.m. — My partner heads out for groceries, and I enlist his help in packaging returns that I’ll do later.

8:33 a.m. — I get an email saying the interview for the contract is at a certain time next week that I cannot make it (well I can, but I have Little Bun who is not conducive to me staying calm), so I email back with my availabilities and ask them to reschedule. Most people would panic and try and find a way to get childcare, but they need to have equal respect given back to me as a contractor to ask me when I CAN have an interview and not assume I’m sitting around all day waiting for their call. What am I? On call? No thanks.

9:41 a.m. — I practice trying to do a Handstand pretty much all morning. I can only do it if I am near a wall, and if I kick hard with right leg, while keeping my left leg completely straight, and using that force to get me up on my hands. I can’t hold the stance – the pressure on my wrists and my stick arms is really tough, but I am working on building up my endurance. Not too shabby for a non-gymnast.

1:33 p.m. — I head out for the afternoon in the rain, and end up finding this pretty bracelet at Goodwill but was too cheap to pay $3.75 to buy it right away, then regretted it and drove back an hour later but ended up missing it – someone else snagged it within that time frame. #FOMOisreal

2:19 p.m. — I deposit my $30 cheque from Amazon (LOL 5 months of blogging = $30).

2:40 p.m. — I buy cashews and more dates. This is the only thing really curbing my sugar cravings, now that I have gone Green Tea KitKat cold turkey. $43.44

3:06 p.m. — I think the tea tree oil treatment before I wash my hair is working because I feel less flakes than before. Maybe it is just a placebo and I just want it to work so badly.

5:30 p.m. — I head home, and feel a bit drained in general from the weather (the rain makes me very dizzy and ill, so I take pills for it when it gets too bad), and set Little Bun up with some Tom and Jerry cartoons (Jerry is adorbs. My fave I think.).

5:48 p.m. — How sweet is this child? He likes to use those adult apps for colouring and he tells me: “I am colouring a love picture for Mommy.”

5:55 p.m. —My partner says he wants to do pear picking tomorrow, and since it is early morning that is best, I was planning on doing a yoga class but I’ll skip it.

6:08 p.m. —I sort of hate going out with Little Bun sometimes, because if he is in a great mood, everything is kosher. If he didn’t sleep well, he is a MONSTER, like all children, and he drains my will to live so quickly with his whining…. that goes right to your brain.

6:13 p.m. —I organize my desk again, shove Little Bun’s ever-growing mountain of crap over onto HIS desk (suddenly rubber animals have made it onto the desk along with two books and a box of crayons).

6:42 p.m. — I never realized just how subtly racist and sexist these cartoons can be. Then again, they were done in the 50s and were a product of their times. Little Bun is focused on the two characters.

7:25 p.m. — We have dinner – totally vegetarian: eggs, tomatoes, salad, homemade bread. I eat it hungrily because hunger is the best sauce.

8:50 p.m. — I do all the dishes, pans, wipe everything down, and put it all away.

8:57 p.m. — I also decide to up my arbitrarily decided Fun Budget from $200 to $225 because it gives me slightly more wiggle room but is sufficiently challenging enough.

9:11 p.m. — I brush and floss, and go to sleep.

Spent: $43.44

DAY SEVEN

??:?? — Squealing.

??:?? — Now he is cold and sleeping on the floor, refusing to move back up onto the futon (we sleep on the floor), and to be on his side of the bed with his head on his pillow. I give up and throw a blanket over him, while he is on the floor. So very tired right now.

6:00 a.m. — I wake up with Little Bun squealing in my ear. I am so very tired. I could have done with another half an hour.

6:10 a.m. — The morning starts like crap. He is whiny because he didn’t sleep well, my patience is worn thin because I didn’t sleep well… I finally tell him I can’t deal with this and he needs to behave or we are NOT GOING OUT APPLE PICKING. He starts to lose it because he wants to go out, but ….

6:45 a.m. — I manage to drink my tea, hot this time.. not cold and gulped down in a rush … and sort of have this hazy, sleepy, zen moment before the day starts. I dread taking him out at this age because he just gets so difficult sometimes especially since he didn’t sleep well today.

7:13 a.m. — I am practicing my handstands but just not getting it today. I am probably too tired.

8:30 a.m. — We start getting ready and head out. Little Bun and I are fully dressed and my partner is doing what exactly? Watching Jacques Chirac’s funeral. WTF. I call out, rather annoyed — DADDY? We are READY.…. and he quickly gets ready. WTF. You know Little Bun already only has a short window span of mental capacity to behave, and you want to test it by leaving late, so that we get back late, and start a chain reaction of BS? No. I am not having this, we leave when we say we are going to, and let’s get this done and over with. I am really not into apple picking, can you tell?

8:48 a.m. — Meltdown in the car. He just.. loses it. No idea why, what happened…. I want to just tell my partner to turn around, drop us off, and pick the damn pears on his own. I am that over it. Sometimes Little Bun just ruins everything. My whole energy and demeanour is so low right now, anything can set me off.

9:04 a.m. — Calm, we have croissants for breakfast. $5.55

9:45 a.m. — We go and pick apples, and surprisingly, he is awesome the whole time. I think he realized that if he lost it, we would never come back to the farm until next year. He goes around picking pears, tearing leaves off the branches to pick them apart (I am that terrible of a parent that I half-assed told him to stop but then lost all my energy to enforce it). Look at all of this wasted fruit on the ground…

11:57 a.m. — Lunchtime. Some people are playing BASEBALL in the picnic area, and are throwing this HARD BASEBALL near my car. My partner gets annoyed and tells them to go play anywhere but near our car. WTF? I cannot even believe we have to say this. It isn’t even one of those soft rubber bouncy balls, it is a freaking BASEBALL.

1:30 p.m. — Home. He napped in the car for about 45 minutes so I am sure he won’t be napping at home, but my partner wants to get him down to sleep. Fine, whatever, go knock yourself out. I am not fighting this fight, because he is ridiculous if he thinks he will nap AGAIN after he already slept in the car. I am too tired. I could do with a nap myself, but will end up ruining my night sleep. Which.. gets ruined anyway most nights. F$*@, I’m screwed.

2:18 p.m. — Cashew smoothie milk. I feel better now.

3:27 p.m. — Someone messages me and asks me why I shop so much (in a non snarky way). I had to think about it. I think it is because it is a hobby. I like finding deals and if I can find designer stuff, I’ll consign or sell it, like the one time I found this Max Mara coat for $10 and resold it for $250. That was AWESOME.

4:17 p.m. — I head out to buy a few groceries for the week. I have a hankering for potatoes and mushrooms with thyme and rosemary.

5:50 p.m. — Home, I start on all the dishes, dry them, make cashew milk, do laundry and organize my notes.

7:45 p.m. — Everything done. I feel tired, but jittery/happy. I practice a few more handstands while Little Bun watches Tom and Jerry, his new favourite duo.

9:28 p.m. — Time for bed.

Spent: $5.55

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Want more? Read all of my previous Week of Money Diaries.