Shopping: Where to find jeans for flat, small, and bony butts
It can be really hard to find jeans, but it is even harder when you have a flat, bony butt like I do.
I am not being mean or self-critical, but honest and blunt.
I have very small hips, and a small butt, and everything falls off it when it doesn’t fit properly especially in the waist.
You think this might be a blessing if you have a bigger butt, but this is a curse because while everything might fight my hips, my waist always ends up being a good 1″ – 2″ too loose (which makes me groan and imagine having to get them tailored $$$).
So here goes, my wealth of experience from the past 6 years of trying to find a good pair of jeans, in a short, sweet post and 2 solid, personal recommendations for jeans:
AVOID LOW RISE JEANS & LOOK FOR A SUPER HIGH RISES
Honestly, the higher the better. High-rise 10″ – 10.5″ pants are perfect because they really hang on to your body and they don’t fall down.
They hug to my waist, and my lack of hips is not a problem at all.
I know they probably remind you of old lady jeans or mom jeans, but frankly, I just wear a top or a sweater over the jeans, and you’ll never even see the high waistband. You’ll just feel super comfortable and secure.
You won’t have to continually pull them up either (which is what I hate about low-rise jeans)
The only downside is that it cuts into your stomach when you sit down.
HIGH-RISE JEANS TO TRY:
Citizens of Humanity Ultra High Poison Skinny Jeans @ 10.5″ rise
I own these, and wear them quite often, especially with knee-high boots. They’re super soft but I think they might be discontinued now.
I took them in a 26, and they fit perfectly.
LOOK FOR MID-RISE JEANS WITH HIGHER, SMALLER POCKETS
Okay you’re wrinkling your nose at me because you don’t want to wear 10″ rise jeans. Fine.
Look for mid-rise at the very least. 8″ is the lowest you can go because any lower, and it will really create a flat line in your profile which makes your butt look even flatter.
You’ll have to tug them up once in a while, but not as often as low-rise.
You also want to look for higher-placed, smaller pockets to make your butt look rounder and not as flat.
Big, flat pockets that totally cover your butt just make your butt look flatter and not as round.
MID-RISE JEANS TO TRY:
Lucky Brand Sweet or Sofia Jeans
(The ‘Sweet’ style has a higher rise about 2/3 more than the ‘Sofia’).
They are SUPER SOFT and comfortable. A bit thicker than Citizens of Humanity jeans, but they feel solid. They run larger, and I take a size “0 / 25” in these. (If they had “00 / 24”, I’d take those instead).
I may be buying these sometime (made in Mexico, which I am not sure is any better, but I trust them more than if they were made in China).
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These jeans are also great because they have higher, smaller pockets that make your butt look rounder and not as flat.
FABRIC MIX SHOULD BE ABOUT 2% SPANDEX, MAX
The best jean for this is Lucky Brand jeans — 98% cotton and 2% spandex.
Any more spandex and it could be too stretchy or too tight, which will flatten your butt even more.
This is not the case with the Citizen Poison jeans above (74% cotton, the rest in elastane and polyamide), but you should be careful not to buy SUPER stretchy jeans because it looks awful and flattens your butt even more.
OTHER BRANDS OF JEANS AND JEAN-LIKE ITEMS I HAVE TRIED
I also own a pair of Rag & Bone Legging jeans in a mid-rise (8.5″). They come in a bunch of colours and I have Charcoal.
I find that they fit great in the legs and hips, but the waist is 1.5″ too big (I am a size 26 normally, I took a 26, and I may need to get them taken in because they stretched at least a size or two).
I would still love a higher rise than 8.5″ but they are so comfortable and much better looking than those too-tight yoga leggings that are unacceptable and vulgar to wear in public, that I can make such concessions.
H&M PREMIUM DENIM
I remember trying on H&M premium denim once and liking it. They felt very soft and very true to the more expensive jean brands, but I don’t think they make them any more.
NYDJ — NOT YOUR DAUGHTER’S JEANS
NYDJ (not your daughter’s jeans) is a STUPID name for a jean company, but they do make higher rises for the “older” woman because presumably, your daughter is a tween who only wants to wear low-rise or super low-rise jeans (*scoffs*). They make some decent jeans too.
OTHER PREMIUM DENIM: SEVEN’S, HUDSON..
I’ve also tried on other jeans in the past — Seven’s, Hudson, and other premium denim brands, but never liked them much for either the lack of a high rise (8″ or higher) or that the material wasn’t soft enough.